**
When a wave crashes onto the shore, it crescents into a nothing. The sand drinks in the purity of what is the water, and turns it into a mist.
When a wave washes past another wave, its attraction makes the waves grow bigger, wilder, and the ocean's harmony remains intact. Breaking the harmony hurts not only the waves but the ocean itself.
They say when two men kiss, they should feel a growing sickness in the pits of their stomach. This sickness can overgrow and consume them whole unless one puts an end to it and does what's right.
Jeongguk felt no sickness of that kind.
Just doubt.
Early morning after the day before, Jeongguk was awoken to feathery lips against his. Just the action had made him startled, grabbing his bedsheets before he had any clue on what's occurring. Upon opening his eyes, he saw Rosie smiling at him, her breath minty against his face.
"I'm leaving now. It's awfully early, so you should go back to sleep. I've made you breakfast, kept it in the kitchen." Rosie said. Jeongguk nodded wistfully, and Rosie leaned down to press their lips together briefly.
Their lips pressing together reminded Jeongguk of what's right and what's wrong. This- this was the right thing. This was the virtue, the better he should obey if he had any care of his own morality. So he sat up, achingly so, and kissed Rosie a little harder, ensuring she felt everything.
Rosie smiled into his lips and pulled away after a few beats, blushing. "I'll miss you," Rosie said.
"I'll miss you too. Do call me." Jeongguk said, and Rosie nodded.
"Of course I will. I love you." Rosie said, kissing his cheek.
"I love you too. Let me drop you downstairs," Jeongguk said, and Rosie shook her head. "Oh no- it's really cold out there! I wouldn't want you to fall ill," Rosie said, and Jeongguk got up from the bed.
"Don't worry for me, Rosie," Jeongguk said, brushing her hair out of her face. "I hope you take the next few days to think about yourself," Jeongguk smiled.
Rosie giggled. "I hope you too take the next few days to indulge in your own interests."
Jeongguk hummed. "I don't think you'd like if I did,"
Jeongguk grabbed a coat and wore it rather quickly, lifting up Rosie's bag and walking out of their bedroom. Rosie followed behind him. "You don't have to-"
"Rosie, must you worry so much? I'm your husband, I should be taking care of you." Jeongguk said softly, and Rosie nodded, looking down. Jeongguk kissed her forehead, and then opened the door and walked outside.
It was cold outside, the skies still dark. A car was waiting outside their house, the flashlights blaring. The car was silver, sleek, perfectly square shaped top. Jeongguk saw Veronica in the driver's seat. "Right. Veronica told me she'd drive us down there. I-I suppose we could." Rosie said, and Jeongguk hummed.
He walked down the steps of their house and onto the pavement. He walked to the back of the car while Veronica climbed out of it, seeing Rosie and giving her a hug. Jeongguk opened the boot of the car.
"Let me help you," A voice came, and Jeongguk looked up in surprise and saw Taehyung, his blonde hair falling to his eyes.
Jeongguk picked up the bags himself put them inside the car, and then closed the back of it. "I don't require your assistance, thank you very much," Jeongguk said roughly, and then walked away.
"Well, we'll be going now," Veronica said, and then looked at Taehyung. She walked closer to him. "I trust you can take care of yourself?"
"You must think I'm a child. Of course, I can, Veronica."
Veronica tsked. "You've never lived a day without me, Taehyung. You think too highly of yourself," She chuckled, and Taehyung felt his teeth grind, his muscles tense.
Veronica turned around to walk away, and Taehyung grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "Don't talk to me like that."
Veronica looked up at him. "What do you think you doing, trying to act imperiously? Don't irk me too much, honey. I might just sleep with another man behind your back." Veronica smirked, and then took a step away from him.
Taehyung looked away, biting the inside of his cheek. Veronica got into the car. Jeongguk hugged Rosie tightly and Rosie kissed him and told him to take care. She got into the other side of the car, giving Taehyung a smile on her way.
When Rosie got in, she looked at Veronica. "I think it's marvelous that you can drive,"
"Every woman should know how to drive. Relying on the men is simply idiocy. It is a prerequisite forced onto us by society. I don't rely on Taehyung for anything." Veronica said and then began driving, quite fast. "Absolutely nothing."
"O-oh-" Rosie said lightly, and then looked out the window. "You're so wise, Veronica. And I think it's wonderful how liberal Taehyung is."
"I don't think he likes how nasty I am," Veronica laughed. "Oh well. It's not like he has a say in things,"
Rosie hummed, not being able to relate in the slightest. She just nodded along.
Jeongguk and Taehyung both saw the car rush off, and Jeongguk coughed at the smoke it let out from the back. When the smoke evaporated, Jeongguk saw Taehyung standing on the other side of the road, looking away silently.
Jeongguk looked at him for a sparing second, and then Taehyung looked up at him, and Jeongguk looked away.
"It's rather cold, isn't it? I heard it's going to snow soon."
Jeongguk scoffed. "You really don't have the right to be making mindless conversation."
Taehyung jaw dropped in a fake offense. "Excuse me- I happen to care an awful lot about the weather."
Jeongguk hummed, looking away. "Well, you shouldn't. I don't wish to speak about the weather with you, I simply don't care for it. Not with you."
"How impolite of you, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, walking across the road over to him.
"How humourous of you, Taehyung! To be talking like everything in the world's alright after what you did yesterday." Jeongguk snapped angrily, pointing at him.
Taehyung looked at him, his hands in his pockets. "What did I do?"
Jeongguk looked at him with an eyebrow lifted up, and Taehyung tilted his head. "I must've forgotten-"
"You think you're rather chucklesome, don't you Taehyung? Well, mister- if I must remind you. You did the most horrendous of things a man can do to another man."
"Did you forget men killed each other only a few years ago? Nothing can be worst than that-"
"You put your lips! Lips belonging to a man, onto mine! Lips belonging to a man! I mean- that- i-it's unheard of! It's absolutely horrid-" Jeongguk started, and Taehyung was frowning.
"What are you on about? Is this another one of those strange dreams you had, Jeongguk?" Taehyung asked, and Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows.
"N-no. You- you kissed me yesterday. Behind the diner."
"I did no such thing. My my, I did not expect you to be a fibber, Jeongguk." Taehyung said, giving a little sigh that was over exaggerated, so obviously laced with an underlying tone of humor.
Yet, Jeongguk paused. He looked at Taehyung and let his thoughts wander again. Did Taehyung really kiss him? The whole thing seems a little surreal, now that Jeongguk thinks about it. In fact, Jeongguk only remembers bits and pieces. Perhaps it never happened. Maybe it was a dream. Was it ever real?
"B-but-" Jeongguk began, and stopped, gulping. "I-I thought- but- y-you must have! I-"Jeongguk started, and then hitched out a whine, turning around. "I don't wish to talk to you any longer."
Taehyung chuckled. "You're rather adorable, Jeon Jeongguk."
Jeongguk blushed. "I-I'm leaving now," Jeongguk said with a small crack in his speech, and proceeded to practically run back to his house, back to his bedroom, into his bed, and crawled under the covers to think.
For five whole hours, all he did was think.
While he got back up. While he took a shower. While he got dressed. While he ate breakfast. While he walked down the streets towards work. While he walked behind the desk where he sat at every weekend for his job. While he did the work he was supposed to do- all he did was think.
Think and think and think and think- until he remembered. Until his clarity was cleaned and perspective was reinforced.
"Sir," Jeongguk told his boss. "I'm leaving the building for lunch-"
"Do as you must." He said gruffly. Jeongguk nodded, and then looked at the old man for a couple of seconds and wondered if he really does any work. All Jeongguk sees him do is sleep.
Jeongguk left the building soon enough and walked across the road to the other building. He entered it, asked the receptionist if he could visit Kim Taehyung, to which she nodded politely and gave him the room number. Jeongguk walked up the steps and finally reached the floor belonging to the man. He knocked on his door.
"Come in," Taehyung said, and then looked up and saw Jeongguk. Jeongguk paused when he saw Taehyung on the telephone.
"Ah- These claims of you are stupid, I'll take care of it. Of course I will, sir. You can count on me." Taehyung said, and then laughed, smiling. "Yes, yes. Great. I hope to see you soon, Mr. Justice." Taehyung ended, and then put the phone down.
Jeongguk frowned. "You're Jimmy Justice's attorney? Jimmy Justice, the famous English pop singer? Rosie loves him!"
"Of course I am. Now, this is quite the surprise, seeing you here. Sit down-" Taehyung said, sitting forward and pointing at the seat. Jeongguk was about to, but then stopped himself.
"No. I-I remember why I came here," Jeongguk said, and then looked at him. "I thought about it. A lot. All day I thought about it. And now, I can say it with much certainty," Jeongguk said, and then looked at Taehyung with anger. "You did kiss me yesterday!"
Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds, and then hummed, leaning back into his chair. "I don't recall."
"Of course you do! You-you're the one that's fibbing! I don't lie, Taehyung. And I'm slightly affronted by your speculative claims." Jeongguk snapped, looking away.
Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds and then sighed, standing up. "If you must insist then I suppose...." Taehyung trailed, and Jeongguk looked at him.
"That's not a proper answer."
"I'm unsure on what it is you want me to say,"
Jeongguk groaned. "You're driving me mad, Kim Taehyung! I want you to accept on what it is you did. Admitting the truth would make everything less horrid-"
"I think it's a little strange how awfully you want this to be true, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk paused.
"I-I-" Jeongguk began, and then his cheeks turned pink. "I-It isn't like that. Y-you-"
Taehyung walked closer to him, and Jeongguk felt the intimidating aura the older exuded. The confidence and surety of self, Jeongguk couldn't wrap his head around it.
"For sensibility's sake," Taehyung started, and then looked at Jeongguk closely, practically towering over him, again glazed with the look of carelessness yet boldness, hands in pockets. "Let's me make ensure myself. You've thought about me kissing you all day?"
Jeongguk turned redder. "I-I w-wasn't-"
"Let me finish speaking, darling," Taehyung said softly, and Jeongguk gulped, not even realizing how Taehyung had cornered him to the wall. "Wasn't it you who had the dream about me being... under you?"
Jeongguk looked down. "I-It was a d-dream-"
"Why did you dream that?" Taehyung asked, and Jeongguk couldn't help notice how much lower his voice was, how much firmer.
"I-I don't know- I-I-"
"Scientist Richard Stelling's book, Dreamworks, published in 1896 states dreams are messages from the subconscious mind," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk looked up at him, eyes wide. "Then why is it, Jeongguk, that you dreamt of us making love?"
Jeongguk blushed. "T-Taehyung- this is-"
"Then, through follow up, is it not true that you could've dreamt about me kissing you?" Taehyung asked, and Jeongguk gulped. "Furthermore, the lack of evidence provides absolutely no weight to your argument, Jeongguk, hence," Taehyung spoke fast, and then looked at Jeongguk closely. "You wanted me to kiss you. You wanted me to have sex with you. You wanted all of it more than anyone else did- thus, the conclusion driven from this case is simple. You kissed me."
Jeongguk was frozen, eyes big, lips mouthing words that didn't leave his mouth, eyes almost watery if he blinked another time. Taehyung's closeness brought panic to every inch of his body, and before he could do anything, Taehyung took a step back and chuckled.
"And that," Taehyung said, and then sat down on his chair. "Is why I'm such a good lawyer."
Jeongguk broke, letting out a breath. "W-what?"
"I was just making all of that up, Jeongguk. I have no clue what I said. I was simply being a lawyer." Taehyung said, and then grabbed a cigarette, lighting it and reaching it to his lips.
"Y-you-" Jeongguk stammered and then gulped. "You didn't m-mean a-all that? You j-just-"
"I was doing my job, Jeongguk. Rather splendidly, if I might add. If I had someone like you on the stand, I'd win every case." Taehyung said, blowing out smoke.
"I d-don't understand. Did y-you kiss me? Or- or-" Jeongguk began, and Taehyung laughed.
"And what if I did? What will you do then, hm?" Taehyung asked, looking up at him in an amused state.
Jeongguk opened his mouth to say something, but his thoughts trailed. "I-I'd just... I'd be very cross with you...." Jeongguk said timidly, and Taehyung smiled softly.
"Aw," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk blushed. "You'll be cross with me, will you? I can't have that happen, not at all! The world must end before Jeon Jeongguk be cross with me,"
Jeongguk looked away, face mouth scrunching up to a small angered pout. "S-stop... talking to me like that. I don't like it very much,"
"Why do you dislike it?"
"It makes my... stomach feel weird," Jeongguk said, and then blushed and looked at Taehyung, who laughed fondly. Jeongguk tsked, taking a step away. "I-I'm embarrassing myself, aren't I? Y-you must think of me so lowly. I'm stupid- I'm nothing but stupid. I must go."
"Jeongguk-" Taehyung began, and Jeongguk opened the door and walked out, feeling abashed with his actions and words. Why must he act like this? He despised it. Despised how Taehyung made him blush and stutter simply through words.
Jeongguk returned to work and tried his hardest to think of anything but Taehyung. Anything. Yet he couldn't. He returned home from work, and his mind was cluttered with the older man.
He couldn't walk, couldn't work, couldn't perform the simplest of tasks without thinking of Taehyung's eyes, hair, face, mouth, words, voice. Every thought sent jabs down his stomach, and every time his image was brought to his mind, he had to sit down because it simply overwhelmed him. His breathing felt shorter and his hands felt jittery. His insides felt numb. He felt in dire need of something, something which he wasn't sure of.
Until he was.
Jeongguk, at 9:47 pm, encountered himself- in nothing but sweater and trousers- walking to Taehyung's house. Once the approximately 8-minute long walk was finished, he found himself in front of his rather large home.
He knocked on his door.
It opened. Taehyung stood there, still in work clothes yet no tie, hair a little messy. He looked utterly handsome, it sent Jeongguk's stomach in swirls.
"Oh, Jeongguk," Taehyung let out. "Third meeting today. How exciting." Taehyung smiled.
Jeongguk gulped, looking at Taehyung. Unsure, unsure, unsure. He shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't.
"Is there something I can help you with?" Taehyung asked after a lack of response, and Jeongguk's mouth went dry. Don't, don't, don't- yet he had to. He had to, to fill in these urges his mind signaled him with. He must.
"Could you-" Jeongguk began, voice weak and small, higher than usual. "Could you k-kiss me again?"
Taehyung paused by the doorway, and Jeongguk gulped. He looked so fragile, shivering. It was freezing outside, and he was stood in only a few layers.
"Jeongguk, I think you should come inside-"
"You're right! I should go home. Oh, what am I doing coming to you like this? It's almost 10, it's so cold, y-you must be so tired. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What am I saying? It's idiotic, I-I apologize for wasting your time-" Jeongguk began.
Before his endless rambling could continue, Taehyung grabbed him by his waist and pulled him into the house. He pushed the door close, pressed Jeongguk against the door, and then cornered him into it, towering over him.
"Tell me what it is you want me to do. And say it slowly, and surely." Taehyung said, and Jeongguk bit his lip.
"I-I-" Jeongguk began, and Taehyung shook his head.
"No, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, voice feathery. His hands reached Jeongguk's waist. "Don't stutter. I must have you be sure of what it is you want."
Jeongguk gulped. "I-I don't know what it is I want-"
"I think you do," Taehyung said, and Jeongguk's hands went up to grab his shirt, looking up at him.
"H-how? How do you know? How do you know everything?" Jeongguk asked, teeth chattering ever so slightly. Out of nervousness more than the cold.
"I don't, Jeongguk. No one knows everything." Taehyung said and looked into his brown honey eyes, his breath intermingling with Jeongguk's. "I'm just not ashamed of what it is I want,"
"I-It's wrong." Jeongguk squeaked, hands moving up and wrapping around his neck, arms over his shoulders. "We mustn't do this- we-we-"
"You can spend your entire life questioning yourself, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, and then brushed his lips against Jeongguk's. Jeongguk leaned in, a vibrated whimper begging to escape. Before it could, Taehyung pulled away. "Or you could go ahead with your actions. Don't think. Just let go of your fears and commit your sins. Sometimes it just doesn't matter. Sometimes, it's alright." Taehyung whispered.
Jeongguk blinked his lashes, looking at Taehyung. "Y-yes-" Jeongguk whispered. "I-I want you to kiss me, Kim Taehyung. I want your lips against mine own."
"Who am I to say no?" Taehyung smiled, and then leaned forward and sealed their lips together.
Jeongguk was frozen for a second but then felt Taehyung pinch his waist. Jeongguk let go of his fears, his endless worthless thoughts and pressed his lips back to Taehyung's.
Taehyung moved his lips against Jeongguk's, fluently. His breath came quickly as Taehyung and he traveled under bridges, over buildings, sloping down, down, down, then soaring up, up, up into the horizon, through a passage of towering rock formations, rushing over great bodies of water, suspended in the bright air, the sun rising out of the ocean. Kissing Taehyung felt like flying.
Jeongguk pulled away. "B-but what about- "Jeongguk began, and Taehyung's hands reached under his thighs, and he lifted him up, making the younger gasp. He'd never been picked up, not like this, not by a man, not to kiss.
"You think too much," Taehyung said and pressed their lips together once more. Jeongguk's hands slipped to his hair. He'd never done anything like this before, not with a man. Taehyung carried Jeongguk into their living room and placed him onto their couch.
Taehyung pulled away from the kiss, and Jeongguk gulped, looking up at him with his big brown bright eyes. "T-Taehyung- we shouldn't,"
"Oh, but darling, we really should," Taehyung whispered into his mouth, and then kissed him again.
"B-but what if-" Jeongguk started, and Taehyung kissed him again.
"Shush."
Jeongguk kissed him back for a second. "But w-we're men-"
Taehyung kissed him for a second. "Men are allowed to kiss."
Taehyung let his lips drag down his cheek, his jaw, his chin. "N-not each other..." Jeongguk trailed, and Taehyung hummed, kissing up his chin, the corner of his mouth, the top lip once, the bottom lip once- and then back to the other corner of his mouth.
"Hm," Taehyung whispered, and then looked at Jeongguk. "I am going to kiss you again, Jeongguk."
"P-please do," Jeongguk whispered, and Taehyung pressed their lips together again. Jeongguk grabbed his shoulders, wrapping his legs around the man's waist. He'd never done this, not with a man. But kissing him- it didn't feel like the slotting of lips, it felt like the freedom of his body, his soul, his thoughts. With his bone, flesh, muscle, tail spread out behind him, he took flight. Took flight with his lips against Taehyung's. And there was only this.
Only this, no gravity, no sorrow nothing to hold him down. So just for a moment, they rose and rose and rose, until they couldn't touch the ground.
Jeongguk pulled away, and both breathed against each other, Jeongguk's eyes closed. He licked his lips, feeling Taehyung against him. Taehyung hummed, kissing down his neck.
"T-Taehyung-" Jeongguk began and then gulped. "W-what- what do you want to do?"
"What I want to do right now, darling," Taehyung began, hands on Jeongguk's hips firmly. "Is put my lips against every inch of your body. Feel you on my tongue, feel your pulse on my lips-" Taehyung began softly, and Jeongguk's eyes flew wide open and he pushed Taehyung off him.
Taehyung stumbled back, and Jeongguk stood up.
"W-what are you on about? Y-you can't put your lips against e-every inch of my body! That- t-that isn't right!" Jeongguk let out, and Taehyung sighed.
"Don't do this again," Taehyung grumbled, and Jeongguk gulped.
"I-I only wanted to kiss you a-again. I didn't want- d-didn't want you to say all that. Didn't know you wanted to- d-do further. How would two men do it anyway? It doesn't make sense." Jeongguk began, and Taehyung walked closer to him. "A knife only goes with a fork. You can't use a knife with a knife, it just doesn't-"
Taehyung looked at him closely and put one hand on his waist. "It'll make perfect sense. It'll all make sense, Jeongguk." Taehyung said, and then kissed his cheek. "I could fuck you-"
"W-what?"
"Yeah- haven't you ever done it with Rosie?" Taehyung asked with a snicker.
"Of course I have! How ludicrous of you to ask. O-of course I have. I-I don't- didn't think it was possible to do to a man. It shouldn't be." Jeongguk mumbled, gulping.
"Anything is possible in love and war, my love. You asked me what it is I wanted, didn't you?" Taehyung asked, and then looked deeply into Jeongguk's eyes. "What I want to do, angel, is see you naked, under me, with me fucking you until-" Taehyung began, and Jeongguk didn't realise how close he was, how his lips were against Jeongguk's ear shell. "Until all you can think of is my cock."
Jeongguk let out a whimper. "Doesn't that sound nice?" Taehyung smiled, looking at him.
Jeongguk was blushing, surely felt his trousers go tighter. He gulped.
"T-Taehyung, I must leave. I apologize. I shouldn't have kissed you, shouldn't have asked, shouldn't have-" Jeongguk began, and then ran out of the living room, towards the door.
"You're going to run away again, are you? Hm, Cinderella? Will I have to find you in a little attic and fit a little shoe onto your foot?" Taehyung asked with a small, not completely satisfied smirk.
Jeongguk gulped. "Y-you're being awfully brash today,"
"You've got me thinking, Jeongguk. Thinking about you dressed in nothing and- god, I can't believe you thought I'd be the one under you." Taehyung chuckled. Jungkook tilted his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You'll understand later. Soon." Taehyung said, and Jeongguk shook his head.
"I don't wish to. I-I must leave. It's late, and- and I have work. Goodnight." Jeongguk said quickly and then ran out of his house and down the street. All he could do was think.
**