Tony Stark awoke in the middle of the night to a scream. His sixth sense for danger kicked in and he quickly got out of bed and opened his room door. Stark Tower was silent at two in the morning and he crept around softly when he heard footsteps. Steve was behind him, followed by Bruce in the darkness. Thor was off-world, delivering Loki and the Tesseract to Asgard and away from Earth, hopefully forever.
"Uh, anyone scream?" Tony asked them and the others shook their head immediately. It was silent as muffled sobs broke through the night from Natasha's room. The spy/assassin/Avenger/S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was secretive and hadn't smiled at all since moving into Stark Tower with the other members of the team. The only thing that they knew about her past was that she didn't want to talk about it. The others obviously knew where the sound was coming from and Steve carefully knocked on the door.
The crying stopped immediately and there was a soft sniffle as Natasha opened the door. She had red-rimmed eyes and looked like she hadn't had a moment of rest all night long. With a quick swipe of her hand, she brushed something away from her cheek and looked up them. "Uh, hey, guys," she stammered, suddenly unsure of herself. "Do you need something?"
"Uh, are you okay?" Bruce asked. Natasha nodded quickly and went to shut the door, but Steve stopped it. A hint of anger flashed across her green eyes, but she stopped and allowed it.
"You can tell us anything," Steve said kindly and she looked down. Natasha cleared her throat quickly and nodded again silently.
"Nat?" Tony asked, trying out a new nickname for the assassin. That was the final straw for her. Natasha's eyes were fierce and her voice lethal as she spoke again.
"Call me that again and I'll kill you," she replied coldly and her eyes glimmered with something in them and she slammed the door loudly and marched off into her room. Bruce's eyebrows raised in surprise as he began to walk back to his room, but was stopped when they heard another sound.
Heart-wrenching sobs were sounding from Natasha's room, but Tony was not going anywhere near her again, especially not after the death threat from a nickname. Steve gestured for someone to see what was happening, but Tony immediately shook his head no, as well as Bruce. The Super Soldier sighed and walked off back into his room.
The following morning, Natasha was silent as she ate her breakfast, and the biggest elephant in the room was not being spoken about. After a silent and icy morning, Natasha finally spoke as she grabbed her jacket and walked towards the doors. A silver necklace with an arrow pendant was at her throat and she said, "I'm going out."
The silver elevator doors closed on her emotionless face as the usually stoic and cold woman was plagued by past memories of the person she had lost exactly three years ago. A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away as she exited Stark Towers and pulled her hood over her bright red hair.
"So are you here to kill me?" she asked, pointing the pistol at the man in front of her. Three arrows were stuck in the wall behind her, narrowly missing her head. Blood poured from a slice on her right arm made by a knife and her mission was to kill this man. She would complete her mission.
"Thought that was obvious," the man said. He was around her age with dirty blonde hair and grey eyes and wore a black uniform with English letters on it. A bow was in his hands, a quiver filled with arrows slung over his back and another loaded in the black weapon. Drops of dark red blood rolled down the side of his face and his arms were visibly bruised, but he was still ready to kill her.
"Then finish the job. I'm not going back there. Kill me and I'll be finally free," she replied, fighting the control in the back of her mind for just a moment. Her fingers trembled on the trigger, and a voice in the back on her head urged her to finish the mission immediately.
"I won't do that. You deserve a chance to live, don't you? So take it. Take it with me," the man said, softer this time, and emotion in it, not the cold monotone he had spoke in earlier.
"Why wouldn't you kill me? Your people would be satisfied and you could go home safe," she spat out venomously.
"I haven't always had a safe home and I don't think I do anyways. But those people didn't give up on me and try to kill me and I won't now," he decided. "I don't judge people on their worst mistakes."
Every cell her in fake and controlled body urged her to pull the trigger, but she didn't. Instead, she fought to drop the weapon as the man lowered the arrow and slung the bow over his back. He extended his hand towards her. After a brief moment of hesitation and a second of decision, she took it.
Natasha turned past a busy intersection and into one of the few peaceful places at the edge of the city. It was a pretty long walk, but she'd taken it for the past few years and she had never thought about the long walk and how tired she got. It was always about the painful slew of memories that followed her wherever she went.
"Back again, Ms. Rushman?" asked a woman with dark brown hair in a t-shirt and jeans, tending to a small flower stand. "How long has it been- a year?" Natasha chuckled lightly, putting aside her grief for a moment.
"You know me, Melissa," she replied as she took a few crumpled bills from her jacket pocket. She put them on the counter of the stand and looked around at the flowers.
"The usual?" Melissa asked and Natasha nodded. A bouquet of hollyhill black widows was placed on the stand as Melissa collected the cash. The dark purple-red flowers were blooming and they were Natasha's favorite. His too.
"You know, you never told me where you got the necklace," the woman said as she pulled out change and nodded to the arrow necklace.
"Oh, my fiancé got it for me," Natasha replied with a small and fond smile.
"Fiancé, huh?" Melissa replied, placing the change on the counter as Natasha picked up the flowers and placed the bills and coins in her pocket. "You certainly don't wear the ring a lot. And, tell me, how did a man somehow manage to get you to agree to commitment, Natalie?"
The Russian blushed lightly as she remembered the sweet moment when he had proposed to her. "It's a long story. And the ring isn't good for my line of work," she summed up quickly and waved goodbye to the other woman and set off.
Natasha walked alongside him, hand in hand. She had prepared to say this for a long time, and she didn't want to do this, but she had to. For him. The sky was blue and the grassy hill they were walking up was bright. It seemed wrong for an announcement like the one she was going to make to happen, but it had to be now. Or else she would never do it.
"I have to tell you something," she said, looking at him. His grey eyes met hers in confusion as she continued. "I-I know you want a family and a future away from S.H.I.E.LD., but there's no future with me. I'm asking you to move one and find someone who can be everything I'm not."
"Nat, what are you talking about? Of course there's a future with you," he said in surprise. He reached for her hands, but she pulled away. "Tasha, you can tell me anything."
She blinked back tears and kept going. "No there isn't. I can't have kids. I can't have a family and I've seen the way you look at families we save on missions. I know you want one and the Red Room took that away from me. Goodbye."
"Natasha, wait," he said firmly, grabbing her wrist. She turned around angrily and he was smiling and shaking his head in surprise. "This is... well, I actually was going to ask you something today." Her green eyes widened as he gently let go of her wrist and sank down to one knee, pulling out a gold ring with a bright emerald on it. "I was going to ask you if you would have a future with me."
Tears sparkled in her eyes- tears of joy. "I never thought anyone would ask me that," she said, smiling through her tears.
"And now that someone has, what's your answer?" he asked, hopefulness in his voice. The emerald sparkled in the light, the green stone changing colors to lighter and darker tones in the bright sunlight.
"My answer is yes," she said as he stood up and slipped the ring on her finger. "It would always be yes for you." He kissed her, smiling as she kissed back, standing under the willow tree covering the hill and letting the leaves wave gently in the wind, and just for a moment, they stood, away from the horrible world they had to help get better and away from anything that could ever hurt them.
Natasha arrived at her destination after the flower stand. It was a graveyard. Covered by weeping willows and few graves that were visible through the filtered sunlight coming through the trees. It was by a dusty path that Natasha took up to grave she was looking for.
He was buried on a hill that was shaded by willow trees and after so many times of delivering flowers to him, little patches of dark red hollyhill black widows were popping up around the grey gravestone.
Natasha broke down into tears as her knees gave out and she fell to the ground, sobbing as she placed the flowers by the grave. Other things were littered by it- arrowheads, pictures, and little stuffed animals for the dead person give to him by friends. But what was protected the most was a small and laminated index card with the words I will always love you written on it in Natasha's handwriting.
On the gravestone were several words, plus a target carved into the stone. Below the target were the words LOYAL AGENT, LOVING FIANCÉ, and PROTECTOR TO THE END. Above the target was a name.
CLINT BARTON
Natasha sobbed at the grave of her fiancé, letting all of her emotion spill out. He was gone forever and he was never coming back, she told herself every year, but she never wanted to let the memory of him go. He was her one in a million. It took a mission to kill her and a sudden promise, but she had found the person she was sure was her soulmate.
She knew from memory that she wasn't going to get up for ages, so she pressed herself against the gravestone and cried until she had no more tears left to cry.
At Stark Towers, they were greeted by an unexpected guest. Nick Fury. The director of S.H.I.E.L.D. walked into the room and was welcomed by a slight wave from Tony, who was currently experimenting with random materials from his lab, which was not a good idea, but Pepper wasn't there to stop him.
"Is Romanoff here?" Fury asked them sharply, his one eye looking around for her.
"She left a few hours ago," Steve replied, looking up from some old articles on his phone to try and catch up with what had happened in the years he was, as Tony put it, a Capsicle. "Why?"
"She's been leaving earlier and earlier," Fury muttered and Bruce heard it. The Avenger looked at the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. in confusion.
"Wait, she's done this before?" Bruce asked and Fury nodded. "Why? Was it because of the nightmares she had last night? I think she said a name- it sounded like it was something like 'Clint'. Who is he?"
Fury sighed and shook his head. "It is her decision to tell you, but since it seems that Natasha has given up in having a regular day today, I might as well tell you. She has every right to not tell you about her past, and if I was her, I wouldn't tell you either. Her past was dark enough as it was before Barton came along." Tony carefully placed away a chemical that would cause an explosion and placed away the objects he was fiddling with to listen. Steve set down his phone and turned it off, folding his arms over his chest.
"Natasha Romanoff was a criminal before she came to United States. She was a Black Widow or a female Russian assassin. There were hundreds, possibly thousands, of these women taken from their families and brainwashed into committing crimes and killing people. Based on Agent Romanoff's intel, one of every twenty girls training became a Widow. The other nineteen were disposed of and killed," Fury began. At the statistic, Tony's eyes widened in surprise. Fury nodded at the other men's collective shock and disbelief and continued.
"I sent our top agent, Agent Clint Barton, to eliminate Natasha. Instead, he chose to free her from her mind control and save her life, against my direct orders. Together, they took down the Red Room, the organization that produced the Black Widows and he brought her back to S.H.I.E.LD. Long story short, he trained her- not that she needed training- and they became partners in the field," Fury said as Steve interrupted.
"So where is this Barton guy now?" he asked. "Why can't he help Natasha, wherever she is?" The other man glowered and continued.
"I was getting to that, Rogers. They were the best agents we've ever seen. What one lacked in, the other replaced. Of course we have a strict code on having relationships with fellow agents, but they had a way of slipping through the rules and we had no clue for a very long time," Fury said as Tony nearly choked on coffee. "I'm sorry, Stark, do you find something amusing?"
"First, yes. Second, when did you get so poetic, Director? Finally, Natasha had a boyfriend? Are we really supposed to believe that? She has never shown a fraction of interest in anyone she has ever met," Tony said matter-of-factly and murmurs of agreement followed his statement.
"That's because shortly before the pair went on an extremely difficult mission, the pair were engaged. And on that mission, their entire team was lost, leaving the entire enemy against the two of them. They were pretty close to escaping when the building they were in lit up. It was a skyscraper in a packed city, so anyone trapped inside was immediately dead," Fury explained. Bruce's eyes widened and he let out a soft gasp. "We had extra agents on the scene once he had word the bombs in the vents had exploded, but we were too late. Natasha and Clint had been trapped inside the building, but just for a moment. Barton sacrificed himself to get Romanoff out of the collapsing skyscraper just as the roof collapsed."
"Oh my God," Steve whispered in disbelief. "Poor Natasha." Fury nodded at the statement sadly, the death of Barton even affecting the cold and stoic S.H.I.E.L.D. director.
"We searched the wreckage and found his body. It was a mess. She never left his side for at least five hours, just crying beside him and begging him to come back. Natasha was never the same after Barton died. It was a small funeral and I believe just Natasha and his immediate family went. Even I didn't go. Even today, I have no idea where he's buried," the man finally finished.
"So how long ago was this?" Tony asked. "I mean, if it was recent, then we could have definitely helped or I could have if Capsicle was still frozen and Banner was in hiding."
"Three years ago today," he replied. "The Avengers Initiative was scrapped and it was too much of a risk to call you in to risk more lives with people who had only known each other in names. We thought that we could handle it."
"So does she have a tracker on her? I bet she's at Barton's grave right now and she's probably still there," Tony asked. "We could go talk to her."
"She doesn't have trackers on her regular clothing and she's not in the street wearing her tactical uniform."
"Okay, I'll just get J.A.R.V.I.S. to scan the city," Tony said casually. He looked up at a security camera and gave his assistant an order. "J.A.R.V.I.S. scan the city for people resembling Natasha Romanoff."
"Yes sir," the AI replied in its polite British voice and results began showing up on Tony's phone as they popped out into holograms. "I have found a woman just outside the main part of the city resembling Ms. Romanoff. Shall I prepare your suit, Mr. Stark?"
"No, just make sure that she's still there when we arrive," Tony said. "Get the car ready."
The drive was bumpy and long, taking around an hour with New York City traffic, but they arrived at where J.A.R.V.I.S had located Natasha. Fury had left and gone back to the Triskelion, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters in Washington D.C. It was a sparse graveyard with weeping willow and only one person in it. They walked silently up the grassy hill where she stood in front of a grave decorated with flowers and little toys around it.
"He proposed to me here," Natasha said softly. "I was going to ask him to leave me, to find someone else, but then he said that he didn't want anyone else. It was perfect." She turned around, red hair fluttering in a light breeze, to reveal tears streaking down her cheeks. "I knew you'd find me here sooner or later."
"We're sorry, Natasha," Steve said. "I know how it is to lose someone you love but I wish you had told us sooner. We could have helped you through this."
Natasha paid him no heed. "We really thought we could do it," she whispered sadly. "We thought we could make something that nothing could break up and we thought we could make it last forever. I was a fool for believing something like that. It just all tumbled down. Whenever I try to think of him, I can only think of his cold, lifeless body lying next me on the ground. I gave him my heart and I don't regret it at all. I never will."
Tony swallowed, thinking that if it had been Pepper who died.... he would have never gotten over it. Natasha inhaled shakily, wiping a tear from her cheek and turning around. "I just need some space on days like these. It's when I miss him the most."
"We understand, Natasha," Bruce replied. "We all need days like these every now and then because we've all lost people we love. But we need to help each other through it."
She smiled thinly and nodded. Her hand rested on Clint's grave for a second, before she pulled it away, murmuring, "I miss you, моя любовь. I'll never forget you. Ever."
And as she walked away, she hugged herself tightly and let her mind wander as she got into the car. And dreamed of a world where she could live happily with him. A world where they could both be safe. A world where their kid could grow up in.
A/N: Okay, so how did you guys like it? I am taking requests, so please give me some suggestions!
Also, I will try to do an image header for each one-shot. Any I use are made by me unless stated otherwise.
This may slow updates on my other book, buy I'm also in a writer's block for "Welcome to Coruscant Heights", so this is just so I can still write about something I really like and I ship Clintasha a lot.
This is a hollyhill black widow, in case you guys were wondering if it was real or not:
Translation: моя любовь= My love
-EmeraldMoon