"Meredith," Emma breathed as she opened the front door to her house, surprised to see her daughter in law standing on her porch with red rimmed eyes. "What's wrong? Is Derek okay?" she asked as she pulled her into the house and wrapped her in a warm hug.
"Derek's fine," Meredith whispered, sinking into the older woman's embrace. "Well... he's an idiot but he's fine."
"You had a fight," Emma said with a nod as she pulled back to examine Meredith's face. "Was it bad?"
"I...I'm not sure," Meredith sighed. "I know you're Derek's mom and everything, but I wasn't sure who else I could talk to about this, but if you want me to go..."
"Nonsense," Emma shook her head, pulling Meredith into the living room. "Sit down and tell me what happened."
Meredith looked down at her hands, twisting her wedding rings for a moment before she met Emma's eyes again. "Derek and I...we had a pregnancy scare a couple weeks ago," she whispered. "And we were both freaking out because med school and babies and internships just don't mix. And when we got the test results back, Derek was happy. I know he was."
"But you weren't," Emma said softly.
"I...I should have been," she whispered. "I always wanted babies with Derek, and at that point I was so not ready for it. But over the past couple weeks, all I've wanted was to be a mom. Which is crazy. You can't miss something you never had."
"It's not crazy," Emma shook her head. "You've been with Derek for a long time. You've only been married for less than a year, but for all intents and purposes you were married for years before that. And it's natural to feel the desire to become a mother, especially if people around you are having babies."
"Really?" Meredith whispered.
"Of course," Emma said, leaning forward to squeeze Meredith's hand. "Now, keep telling me about what happened with Derek."
"He knew that I was disappointed," Meredith sighed. "And I told him that I was thinking about switching to pediatrics because that would mean that I would have a less demanding job and we could have babies soon. He was okay with that, but then today Beth told me she was pregnant, and I just...I want a baby so badly."
"And Derek doesn't?"
"Not now," Meredith whispered. "But I told him that I wanted babies. Now. And he completely freaked out because he said he's not ready, and then I accused him of not wanting my babies and he called me crazy and...I just didn't know where else to go."
"Meredith," Emma smiled, pulling the young girl into her arms. "First of all...I'm completely sure that Derek wants nothing more in the world than for you to give him babies. But right now...he wasn't expecting you to say that, and he's in a very challenging place in his life. You two had a plan together, and it's not to say that you can't change that plan, but you've got to talk about it. Talk, not yell, which I know my son can sometimes have a problem with. And you have to think about what's best for both of you as individuals as well as a couple."
Meredith smiled softly. "He's going to be a neurosurgeon," she said softly. "Even if I'm not sure...he is."
"He's his father's son."
"And it wouldn't be fair to ask him to have a baby in med school and a toddler during his internship."
"That's something you need to discuss with him."
As if on cue, the front door slammed open and Derek ran past the living room, shouting for his mother.
"In the living room, dear," Emma called into the hallway.
"Mom, have you seen...Mer," Derek breathed as his eyes landed on his wife. "You're here."
"I'm here," Meredith nodded, looking at him carefully. "I'm sorry, Derek."
"What?" Derek breathed, moving to sit on the coffee table in front of her. "Don't be sorry."
"I'm going to leave you two alone," Emma smiled softly as she stood and slipped out of the room.
"I shouldn't have ambushed you like that," Meredith whispered, twisting her wedding ring around her hand as well. "I get it. You're going to be busy for the next few years, and I... we can wait. Except not ten years, because that's way too long, but...four or five. I can wait. But I think...no, I know, I don't want to be a surgeon. You were right when you said that I only wanted to do it because of my mom, but...I like kids. I love kids and I want to be a pediatrician, which actually has nothing to do with me wanting a baby. Which I still do. But you don't. So I'll wait. I want to wait until you're ready because I don't want you to leave me or resent me so I'll wait until..." her ramble was cut short by the feeling of Derek's lips pressing firmly against hers. She fought him slightly at first before she gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him on top of her on the couch. When they both pulled back for air, she smiled up at him, cupping his face in her hands. "Wow," she breathed.
"As much as I love your rambling, I need to talk to you," Derek whispered. "And that's the only proven way to end a Meredith Shepherd ramble."
"Shut up," she hit his shoulder as she pushed him to sit on the couch, pulling her legs up under her as she sat at his side. "You want to talk?"
"I want you to have my babies," Derek breathed. "Meredith...nothing sounds more perfect to me."
"But?" she prompted, reaching out to play gently with his hair.
"But...I'm scared," Derek whispered. "My dad was a superhero. He had Kath his third year of med school and Nance when he was an intern. Granted my mom was a full time mom at that point, but...he still managed to make time to be home for them and become a great doctor. And I figure...if he can handle a newborn and a toddler...then I can handle it too."
Meredith frowned. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Because Derek you can't say you want this to make me happy. That would just lead to bad things."
"I'm not," he shook his head. "I freaked out earlier, I know. But that was because we had a plan and having kids now...it's so not the plan. And I'm still scared, because this is a hard enough time in my life to begin with, but I want to. I want to watch your belly get big and round, I want to wait on you hand and foot when you're too pregnant to move, and I want...I want a little princess that looks exactly like her mommy."
Meredith smiled softly as he held out the tiny t-shirt to her. "Are you sure?" she whispered. "Because I'm about to get really excited. So if you're not sure, you can say so now and I won't hold it against you."
"I'm sure," he nodded, reaching out to push her shirt up, revealing her bare stomach. "I want to put a baby in there."
Meredith giggled as she launched herself into his arms, kissing him hard. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love you."
"No need to thank me," he whispered against her neck. "Babies with you were always the plan."
Meredith pulled back, still straddling his hips as she sat on his knees, her arms resting on his shoulders. "I don't want to become obsessed with this," she said softly. "Beth and Nathan...there were doctor's appointments and tracking her cycles and good conceiving positions...I don't want that. Not yet. Because we're still in med school and I'm scared too."
"Okay," Derek nodded, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "So how do you want to do it."
Meredith shrugged. "I figure we have sex pretty much daily as it is," she said. "I think a combination of maintaining our very healthy sex life and throwing away the condoms and birth control pills will be a good place to start."
Derek frowned. "You want me to throw away the condoms?" he asked.
Meredith rolled her eyes as she climbed off of him. "You can keep the glow in the dark ones until after baby comes if you really have to," she said. "But it's still weird."
"It's not weird," Derek insisted. "I like them."
"I know you do," she smiled, pressing her body against his. "For very good reason."
Derek smiled against her lips. "And you know...some of those conceiving positions might be interesting," he whispered.
"Oh really?" Meredith giggled. "You think so?"
"Hmm?"
"Beth has a book."
"Books are good. Lots of...fun positions."
Meredith giggled as she pushed him away. "You know the rules about doing it in your mom's house," she said. "And you might want to take care of that," she gestured to the bulge in his pants.
Derek grumbled under his breath as he made his way towards the stairs, not looking forward to the cold shower he was about to take.
XXXXX
"It sounds like Nathan's happy about the baby," Derek commented with a smirk later that night as Meredith came out from the bathroom.
Meredith rolled her eyes as she listened to the moans coming from the other side of the wall. "And they say we're loud."
"We are loud."
"Well...shut up."
"Remember when we lived with Mark and Addie?" Derek asked. "And we used to see who could last longer?"
"Yes," Meredith rolled her eyes as she turned on her side to look at him.
"We totally won."
"I can't believe you kept count."
"That's the whole point," Derek rolled his eyes. "Anyways...maybe we can do that now."
"They have a head start, Der," Meredith rolled her eyes as she pulled a pillow over her head.
"So?" Derek asked, pulling the pillow over her head. "It's not like we'll be able to sleep with that going on. And besides...we can figure out which is better...pregnancy positions or trying positions."
"You're a pervert."
"Hey, it's not like I asked them to be loud enough for us to hear," Derek defended himself. "Believe me, I would much rather hear you screaming my name than Beth screaming Nathan's."
Before Meredith could respond, there was a particularly loud scream from the other side of the wall and she nodded. "Fine," she said, flipping onto her side and pulling him closer to nestle against her back. "Go ahead."
"So romantic," Derek laughed, pulling her towards him to flop back onto her back. "You know...you're not nearly turned on enough for hot sex."
"Oh," Meredith breathed, watching as he moved his lips down her body. "What...how... are you going to get me turned on?"
"I believe so," Derek nodded, licking the underside of her breasts briefly before moving down towards her stomach and pausing softly.
"Derek?" Meredith asked, looking down at him as he stared softly at her belly, gently tracing the skin around her belly button.
"Sorry," he shook his head. "Just...admiring the growing place of my baby."
Meredith smiled softly as she buried her hands in his hair, pulling him back to her lips. "God, Derek," she whispered as she kissed him, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. "How did I get so lucky?"
Derek looked down at her for a moment, love shining in his eyes as he took her in. "Meredith..." he breathed, suddenly realizing that he had nothing to say, so he sank into her, moaning at the way she easily spread to accommodate him. "Oh..."
Meredith inhaled deeply as she tightened her legs around his waist. "Derek," she whispered. "Can you...stay?"
"Mer," he groaned, already feeling the painful burn to move inside of her.
"Just...deeper," she whispered, gasping as he pushed farther into her, until he couldn't go any farther. "Oh..."
"Mer," he whispered, moving to gently suck on her earlobe. "Can I..."
"Please," she whispered, loosening her legs around him. He gently began thrusting into her, savoring the softness of her as he did so. "Derek...." She moaned loudly, his name leaving her lips in one long moan and causing him to tighten his hold on her hips.
He had never made love to her like this, ever. They were usually faster and dirtier, and when they did make love, it was still filled with the desperate need to fulfill their desires for one another. Now, though, Derek was practically worshipping her body. His gentle thrusts caused wave after wave of pleasure to wash over her, and his hands trailed lightly all over her body as he just barely touched her. She panted heavily as she threw her head back against the pillows, moaning as he continued to make love to her.
"Meredith," he breathed against the skin of her neck. "God, you're so incredible."
"Oh..." she moaned in response as his body tensed over her, tightening her muscles around him. "Derek..."
"Oh God..." Derek moaned, collapsing on top of her and resting his head in her shoulder.
"Derek," she whispered, finally coming down from her high. "That...you're...amazing."
"Hmmm..." he sighed, rubbing his face against her chest. "You too."
"We...trying sex is amazing," Meredith whispered.
"I think we shut them up," Derek laughed, the sound making Meredith's body tingle.
"You're crazy," she giggled as she pulled his head off her chest to kiss him gently. "But I love you."
"I love you too," he smiled, turning onto his back and pulling her into his arms. "More than anything."