ed sheeran x reader

the sex.

oh my!! you say. ed sheeran takes you on his scooter to his hotel room. you sit down on the bed. he unzips his pants to show his lushes locks of ginger pubes. WOW! you say. he wiggles it and swings it around like a helicopter. he starts levitating. he stops and lands back on the floor. "didn't expect that didcha" he says. you say no as u piss on the floor. oh god! is that the drip or did you pee yourself he says as he licks the floor. you can hear the slobberly noice of his yellow coloured tongue. god he's so sexy you say in your head. he then proceeds to shit on the floor and make a castle with it. you remind him why you are here. oh yeah he says. he comes closer but you realise he's so short and you tower over him. perfect! you say as you move you cooter into his paper thin lips. his big meaty textured sausage grows bigger then mount fuji. you then proceed to suck on it but then you realise it tastes like something familiar. you then take a bite. oh how succulent and juicy thy tasteth. wow. HE THEN SCREAMS! oh no! i say. this isn't good! i will come back in the morrow to see you again! many apologies! you then skip away.