Songs for this chapter:
• If I Die Young - The Band Perry
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty:
Lexi's POV
There is a swarm of paparazzi blocking the entrance to the hospital.
Cameras are flashing, questions are being yelled, those at the front are being trampled by photographers at the back who are hoping to get closer to the door.
I stick my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt and whimper.
I just want to see him. Even if he's in a coma, I need to be there. I need to hold his hand, just in case it's the last chance I'll ever have to do it.
But Bryce's fame is getting in the way of our relationship yet again, and I'm so frustrated that it is taking every ounce of my will to not throw my head back and scream.
Through my position at the back of the group, I see the door to the hospital open from the inside. Three men step out onto the pavement, wearing all black outfits and dark sunglasses over their eyes.
The man in the middle removes his sunglasses and I gasp.
Jordan.
He tucks the glasses into the pocket of his dark jeans and raises a hand to silence all the bustling paparazzi.
"Bryce hates dealing with you guys on a regular day," he says dryly. "You think he'd be happy to hear that you're doing this while he's in a coma? You're wasting your time. None of his friends and family are coming down to give you any information, and you're causing an unnecessary disturbance to those who actually need to access the hospital. Shoo."
The buzz of voices quiets for a moment, and although the majority of those in between Jordan and I remain where they are, a handful of photographers leave.
Just enough people to clear me a path to have a direct view of Jordan.
He reaches into his pocket and retrieves the sunglasses. I watch as he secures them on his face again before him and the two other men begin to turn around to re-enter the hospital.
"Jordan!" I call out. My voice is hoarse from all the screaming and crying I did when I initially heard the news from Mac.
He pauses and turns back around to face the crowd.
I pulled my sweatshirt hood low over my face to hide my red, puffy eyes and the bruises still dotting my neck, but I reach up to pull the hood back just enough for Jordan to be able to recognize me.
He gasps.
And then he's pushing his way through the crowd of paparazzi and heading right towards me.
Once he reaches me he wordlessly wraps an arm around my shoulders and tucks me against his side. Together, we push through the crowd and the hospital doors, and it isn't until the doors fall shut behind us that Jordan pulls me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Oh my fucking God, Lexi. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Nessa and Matt were out on a date last night and so I went over to their place to hang with Bryce and I found him unconscious on his bathroom floor. I thought he was dead. I literally freaked the fuck out. I was so scared," he murmurs against my hair.
I dig my fingers into his back. "When I saw the news, I . . . I don't even know how to describe it. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt."
One of his hands begins to rub gentle circles against my back, and I let out a shuddering breath.
"I know. Let's go upstairs. Everyone else is waiting by his room. We haven't been allowed to see him yet, and all we know is that he's in a coma. Matt and Nessa are up there, and so are Leo and Elena and some music industry people. We can talk more there," he whispers fo me.
I nod, and when he offers me his hand, I take it and let him guide me to a nearby elevator. The two other men trail behind us silently, and the four of us load into an elevator and begin our assent to Bryce's hospital room.
"Why did you go out to talk to the paparazzi? You didn't have to do that," I ask Jordan nervously, training my eyes on the ground.
Jordan chuckles and gives my hand a squeeze. "Actually, I did have to do it. I'm Bryce's assistant, and Richard told me to go out there, so I did."
The elevator chimes, announcing that we've reached our floor, and Jordan pulls my hand and hurries me out of the elevator as soon as the doors slide open.
I feel my eyebrows shoot right up. "What? Since when?"
Jordan ponders this question as we continue to hurry down a hallway. "Hm. I think it's been a year now. Remember at the strip club when I told you a generous job opportunity had been offered to me? It was to be Bryce's assistant, but he also has another person Richard employs to handle most scheduling things, so really I just get paid to go out with Bryce in public and deal with the paps when they're extra irritating. It gives me a steady source of income while I work on writing my first novel."
I blink. "Novel? You write? Since when?"
Jordan shrugs and tugs me around a corner. "I went to university for journalism, remember? I've been writing for years. I just ended up discovering that fiction is more my thing. Bryce has been supporting me as I try to get an agent and finish my first book."
I blink again. "Oh. I had no clue. I guess we don't talk much anymore. Not since you started working for Bryce, it seems."
He gives me a sad, melancholic smile. "I know. I'm sorry. But I knew you and Bryce weren't speaking, and he's my boss. I didn't want to lose my job."
I squeeze his hand. "I'm not mad at you. There's no need to apologize. But when Bryce wakes up from this stupid coma, I'm not going another day without speaking to him. I don't care about Lydia, or his career, or whatever else I might ruin by dating him again. He's Bryce, and he promised me forever. I won't settle for any less ever again."
A chuckle rumbles from Jordan's chest. "You and I are going out for drinks after this all. I missed you like hell."
We round another corner, and just as I'm getting sick of the monotonous white walls and doors of the hospital, Jordan pulls me to a halt.
"Lexi! Thank God!"
I look up to find Vanessa sprinting towards me. She throws herself into my arms and we both collapse onto the cold tile floor in a heap of limbs.
"I'm so sorry. I'm upset, so I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now. He's gonna be okay, though. I just know it. It's Bryce, for God's sake. He won't leave the world that easily," she whispers to me.
I nod into her shoulder. "I know."
Suddenly, Nessa's weight is no longer on top of me, and I look up to see that Matt lifted her off of me and is now standing with one arm around her. His eyes are bloodshot and his entire face is red, but he does his best to give me a small smile as he offers a hand towards me.
I rest my hand in his and allow him to pull me to my feet and into his chest so that I'm tucked under one arm and Nessa is tucked under the other. "Shh, girls. It's okay. He'll be okay. He has to be."
Jordan comes up behind me and wraps his arms around us, too. "I think Leo and Elena were allowed into his room. I don't see them."
I carefully slip out from under Matt and Jordan's arms and take a look at the rest of the people crowded in the hallway. Hushed conversations are happening between small groups of men dressed in formalwear, and I recognize some of the faces as the men who had visited the strip club with Bryce that night.
Richard seems to be commanding the conversation, and though we briefly make eye contact over the group of men, he doesn't pay me any attention.
Suddenly, the door beside me flies open and Leo and Elena step out of the room and into the hallway.
Since I left my apartment, I've been keeping my composure pretty well. I cried so much when I initially heard the news that I thought I had completely run out of tears to cry, and so though it's taken immense effort, I've hidden my emotions.
But for some reason, the moment I see Leo Bradshaw's bloodshot eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, his face so damn similar to Bryce's, I lose it.
I rush towards him and collapse into his arms.
"I'm so sorry," I sob into his shirt. "I'm so, so sorry. How is he? Is he awake yet? Can I see him?"
Leo smoothes a hand down my back and sniffles. "It's not your fault. And you don't need to pretend as if this isn't hurting you, too. I know how much you love him. He isn't awake yet, but you can come sit beside him if you'd like. It might make you feel a little bit better."
I nod against his chest. "Okay. Can I see him now?"
I feel his chin dip against the top of my head as he nods in response. "Yes, you can."
He unwraps his arms from around me and then reaches down to take my hand. Together, the two of us head back into the hospital room, and I hear the door click shut after us as though Elena closed it.
There, in the centre of the room, I see Bryce Bradshaw asleep in a hospital bed.
I whimper.
Is this how Bryce felt when I was in the hospital? It's the worst feeling in the world, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I wish he never had to go through that.
Leo guides me to Bryce's bedside and gently eases me down into the chair. I blink up at him, and he gives me a small, sad smile.
"I'll give you a moment alone with him. I'll be back in a couple minutes."
I close my eyes and listen to Leo's footsteps grow quieter and quieter as he walks away from Bryce's bed and towards the doorway. The door opens and then falls shut with a click, and I finally let my eyes open.
I look at Bryce's face.
And I sob.
I fumble for his hand and slip my fingers through his. "Bryce. Bryce. Wake up. Wake up, dammit! Please? For me? I need you. I can't do this without you. If you go, I go too. I need to be with you in whatever way I can, and so if you die, I'll do it too."
His face looks so serene, so peaceful.
I lean in to kiss his forehead, and another whimper escapes my lips.
I settle back into the chair with a sigh, and then I press my forehead to our entwined hands and I cry.
And once the crying begins, it feels as though it will never end.
The tears are a never-ending waterfall. They pour and pour, all of my sadness and anger and heartbreak finally releasing, and all I can do is let it happen, let the tears pour and let the sadness overtake me.
I squeeze Bryce's hand even tighter. "Please? For me?"
And of course, there is no response, which just makes me cry even harder.
Even when the tears run dry, I'm still sobbing. My shoulders are still shaking, my hands are still trembling, and my head is still throbbing.
I reach those trembling fingers up to push back my hood, revealing the fingertip-shaped bruises still decorating my skin.
"I started to see this guy named Liam," I whisper to Bryce, finding comfort in the fact that he can't hear me, "and he hurts me. Really badly sometimes. Yesterday was the worst of all. I haven't kissed him yet, and I haven't done anything sexual with him yet either, but I can tell that he's getting impatient. I'm scared to know what he'll do to me when I tell him I don't want to have sex with him. I need you to tell me what to do You always make things so much better. So please, wake up, and save me. I never wanted to be a damsel-in-distress ever again, but I am, and I need my prince charming, Bryce. I need you."
The door to Bryce's room creaks, and I glance up to see it gently being pushed open.
Matt and Vanessa step into the room, Matt's arm around Nessa's waist. When they spot me seated to Bryce's right, they nod at me and claim the two chairs to his left.
Once they're already seated, another person enters the room as well.
As soon as I spot her red curls, I know who she is.
Lydia Spears.
A moment after my brain comprehends her presence, another thought strikes me.
I might like to think that Bryce is mine, but she is his girlfriend. I shouldn't be here.
I swipe the sleeves of my hoodie across my face to dry up my tears. "Lydia! I'm so sorry. I know I'm his ex, and that I probably shouldn't be here to see him. Bryce just means the world to me, but I know that he's your boyfriend, and so I can leave if you'd like me t—"
Lydia's eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean? Bryce isn't my boyfriend."
A/N: So, maybe Bryce isn't actually dead. Just in a coma. But that is way less fun and suspenseful to say.
Also, there probably will be a cliffhanger at the end of like the next few chapters so expect this trend to continue lol.