Dear Diary.
Well today is the big assembly thing at school for Karlie and Harry and Tom. Aka a day of literal hell for me. Mrs Parton has this whole thing planned about suicide awareness and it just makes me feel worse and worse. I haven't spoken to Adam since what Karlie said, I've been trying to avoid him.
I placed my diary back in its home by the side of my bed. I hadn't taken it to school since Karlie's death for the simple fact that if anyone stole it and read it, I'd be packing and straight off to prison. I grabbed my bag, almost missing the bus and arrived at school, dreading the day before me.
"Taylor! There you are! I need you girls in place for the assembly." Mrs Parton said bossily as she tried to hustle a group of kids into the hall. I half heartedly followed after and took my seat next to Olivia to grabbed my hand and gave me a squeeze for reassurance.
"I'm kind of nervous about this." She whispered too me. Katy scoffed next to her.
"Grow up Olivia." She sneered rolling her eyes, and letting out a small laugh. Olivia let go of my hand quickly.
"Hello, Students! I want you to ignore the television cameras and the TV
news crews. We're here to document this specific moment. Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make. I know, I know. Do you know what I'm gonna do right now?" Mrs Parton said seriously from the stage.
"Kill yourself on stage?" Someone shouted from the back of the hall. All the students started to laugh, including Katy. Mrs Parton frowned, but just ignored the comment and continued.
"My senior thesis at Berkeley was on the subject of pediatric psychotherapy. It was very well regarded, so I speak with some authority when I tell you that the way to eliminate suicide is by first eliminating fear by creating a safe zone in which we all are equal, because you all are beautiful!" Mrs Parton said in an overly happy voice. Every student in the hall gave her a disbelieving look.
"Who wants to share some of their feelings?" Mrs Parton continued when no one put their hand up she frowned.
"No volunteers? Fine, I'll start My name is Dolly and I live alone, My husband left
My kids are all grown up and left too.
In the 80s love was easy, that wasn't great for me, so now I live with my cat, because I've tried everything, struggled with despair, joined a cult, chopped all my hair off, chanted, prayed but it's never worked. So that's my life. Who else wants to share?" Mrs Parton said miserably. She really did have a terrible life, I'm gonna be honest. The whole room went silent and no one put their hand in the air. It was still for a second before I felt Olivia slowly start to stand out of her seat.
"I'd like to share." Olivia said nervously as she cautiously raised her hand.
"What the hell are you doing?" Katy hissed loudly grabbing her wrist to sit her back down.
"No no no no no! Don't stop Olivia! You're in a safe place. It's just you and me and your classmates who love you! Go on, share! It's gonna be okay." Mrs Parton reasoned, giving Katy a death glare.
"Olivia sit the fuck back down." Katy hissed yet again. Mrs Parton glared at her yet again and she was silent. Olivia slowly got up on the stage taking the microphone from Mrs Parton's hands.
"My sort-of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker. My best friend seemed to have it all together but she's gone, too. Now my stomach's
hurting worse and worse and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating harder and faster
and I'm like Jesus, I'm on the freakin' bus again because all my rides to school are dead..." Olivia said slowly. She stopped for a minute before continuing cautiously
"And all the time I feel claustrophobic, and I feel like everyone hates me, except Taylor. And certain people are so controlling and they keep pointing and it's like well why is she in charge? And It's making me upset." Olivia said bravely handing the microphone back. Everyone started clapping, all except Katy. The room fell silent and now it was Katy's turn to stand up.
"What the hell Olivia? Are you saying that this isn't a nice place? I thought you were head cheerleader? Where's you're school spirit? You don't deserve to wear the school colours. Maybe you should die, then we won't have to hear you whine all the time." Katy shouted, now storming onto the stage with her. Mrs Parton was trying to hold her back, but it was useless.
"Aw, look! Olivia's gonna cry!" Someone from the audience shouted, as the whole room erupted into laughter, and Olivia ran off the stage and into the wings of the stage, clearly crying. I got up, and made my own way onto the stage.
"Katy, you are suspended! Turn off the cameras! Turn them off, goddammit!" Mrs Parton said as she motioned for the cameras to be shut down.
"Is that all you care about? TV cameras?" I shouted to her, I could feel the anger inside me.
"I care about saving lives. Katy ruined a valuable-" Mrs Parton began before I put my hand up and interrupted her.
"Valuable? None of us want this. You, using these experiences to make a good TV programme? Olivia thought she could trust you. You promised her you'd protect her." I explained, as Mrs Parton opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find anything to say.
"This is their big secret. The adults are powerless. They can't help us. Nobody can." I heard Karlie's voice ring out from
the crowd.
"You're useless." I told her.
"You're all idiots!" I continued, now looking out into the crowd of students.
"Taylor, you should sit back-" I heard Adam begin, he was now stood up on the front row.
"No! Karlie Kloss was a monster, just like Tom and Harry. But they didn't kill themselves, I killed them. What do you all think about that?" I shouted out to the crowd. There was silence for a while. I could see Adam's face, stabbing me through the air with his stare, before Katy gave out a laugh.
"God, some people will say anything if they think it'll make them popular!" She laughed as all the other kids in the hall laughed with her, and began to move from their seats and out into the hallways. I ran after Olivia whilst the rest of the hall was distracted. I heard Adam shout my name as I ran but I didn't look back, just kept running.
I found Olivia in the school grounds, a container full of pills in her hands, she was desperately trying to get the child proof cap off as I reached her, quickly swiping the bottle from her hand.
"Hey!" Olivia said reaching out for it, before she looked up into my eyes and hung her head.
"Liv, listen to me. If you were happy all the time you wouldn't be human. Katy is horrible, she spreads rumours all the time, everything she says is a lie. But you, you are one of the most talented, honest and kind people I know, and you always have been ever since the very start. And throwing your life away to be a statistic in USA Today? That's the worst thing you could possibly do. You have so much more to live for." I said taking her hand in mine and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"But what about Karlie? Tom and Harry?" She said, very naively. I sighed.
"If everyone jumped off a bridge, young lady, would you?" I asked her. She just shrugged.
"Probably." She said truthfully. I sighed again before she let out a small laugh and before I knew it we were both laughing and crying as I held her in a tight and reassuring hug.
"Thanks for coming after me." She smiled, giving my one last hug before skipping off and out of the school gates. I watched her go the tears still running down my face.
I suddenly became aware of two hands on waist as I turned around to see Adam behind me.
"You're a genius! You know, you had me worried with your little confession but you pulled it off. Best place to hide: right in plain sight." He laughed giving me his usual crazed grin. I pushed him away from
me.
"I wasn't trying to hide." I said honestly, walking away.
"But why'd you have to go and mess with Olivia? One more dead is a good thing." Adam shrugged walking after me. I spun around giving him a hard glare. I seriously cannot believe he just said that.
"She's my friend." I told him sternly.
"If she's such a good friend, why let Katy live? The bitch who made Olivia want to die, nothing ever changes! Unless-" He went on, as I interrupted him.
"Hey, we are out of the "change" business! You promised me, remember? You promised me you loved me, but you don't, you're just using me-" I started before I was interrupted.
"Doesn't it bother you-" He began.
"Don't talk over me! You promised." I told him sternly. He just shrugged, grinning like an actual psychopath.
"I'm leaving. Don't call me. Don't talk to me. You don't know right from wrong. We're over." I told him simply, walking away.
"Come on, come back!" Adam laughed like this was all some kind of joke.
"Over!" I repeated. "Goodbye, Adam." I said as I walked off out the gates, ignoring his constant shouts of my name.
(A/N- Well this was a really depressing chapter I'm sorry, but hey at least she broke up with Calcium Hydroxide over here)