Misery loves company
Chapter 3:Two parts of one whole
Hey guys :) I just wanted to give a big thank you to everyone who reads this. You people make me so happy. Also to the people who give reviews you make me smile more than you know. You are my motivation to write. Okay I just wanted to say thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it is sad.
P.s this can be sensitive for some people so please just be aware.
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"the other night i cried because at some point in this lifetime i will have to say goodbye and not having you in my life breaks every part of me because you are my better half. "~kenzie lawson
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Amy's pov:
The hospital looked larger than I remembered. It felt more intimidating and scary. We stood there outside the hospital not moving a muscle. We probably looked weird standing out there still but to us it was like time stood still while for others time moved on.
"I can't d..do this. I'm so..sorry I ne..need to g..go" I said barely able to speak.
I immediately turned around to go to the car but I wondered where I would go. Normally when life got to be too much for me I would run to Sheldon for comfort until I could stand again. Sheldon would hold me in his arms until I felt strong enough to support myself. He was my rock when I felt like I was drowning. Now I couldn't go to Sheldon for comfort because he was in the opposite direction. I couldn't do it though.
I couldn't bare to see tubes and wires coming out of him. I felt sick just thinking about it. I didn't want to have to say goodbye to him just yet. I still wanted years with him. We didn't have enough time. My heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. He was my better half of one whole. Without each other we couldn't function. So my mind simply living in denial told me that if I didn't see him I wouldn't have to say goodbye,he wouldn't leave. So I told myself I needed to go, anywhere but here and tried to walk back to the car again.
Both Bernadette and Penny grabbed either arm and I just looked at them both and shook my head continuously. I fought to go back to the car but they were clearly both strong together.
" Pl..please don't ma..make me d..do this. I...I can't do this. I can't say good...goodbye yet." I was in tears now talking in between the sobs and still shaking my head.
"Ames sweetie I know this is hard but don't think like that just yet. Let's just see first. We need to do this and you need to do this to. You will regret it if you don't."Penny said wiping my tears.
"I can't lose him Penny. What about Leonard or the baby? What do I tell Leonard? How do I get up everyday knowing he isn't here Penny ? I can't,I just can't lose him." I said with my eyes filling up with tears once more at the realization that I could lose him.
"Ames,deep breaths okay . You got this and we will get through this together. Don't think like that unless it is absolutely necessary and we will take it one step at a time. Let's just see what is waiting on the other side first okay ?" Bernadette said rubbing my arm gently.
I took deep breaths like Bernadette said then nodded. We were all intimidated by this hospital and dead scared to go in to see what was waiting on the other side. Bernadette started taking deep breaths and held out her hand. I slowly followed Bernadette once again and held her hand. Penny did the same as the both of us and held my hand.
We were about to head in when Penny felt a hand in hers. She looked next to her to find Leonard holding her hand then next to him was Howard,then Rajesh then it was Mary. They were all here. We all gave each other a look and a slight nod before slowly walking to the door feeling like we were each other's support.
I knew Bernadette called the guys and Mary before we left. They said they would meet us here. I couldn't call them. I couldn't utter the words. Bernadette was the one pulling us through. They were all here now. We were all together like always but Sheldon wasn't with us. He was in the big scary hospital that I didn't want to go into.
We separated as we got to the door but still continued behind each other as the nurse led us to his room. She told us all to wait there till a doctor came to explain everything.
They all went in and you could see Mary cry in shock to see Sheldon in that condition. I was behind everyone and I stood by the doorway terrified to walk in and see him. I felt like I couldn't do it. I couldn't breath like he was my oxygen. I felt a hand holding mine and I looked next to me. It was Penny. Penny took deep breaths and nodded for me to do the same . I did exactly what Penny did then squeezed her hand a little tighter as I walked in with Penny.
I got in to see exactly what I imagined but worse. He was hooked up to machines and it was the only noise filling the silence now. Bernadette could barely look at Sheldon as she buried her face in Howard's chest now. Rajesh just had his hand on his mouth barely believing what he was seeing. Leonard hugged Mary and comforted her as Mary couldn't hold it in anymore. You could see how hurt he was that he couldn't help her. Everyone was crying silently and they allowed each other. Leonard was the only one now that wasn't crying.
Sheldon had a cast on his right leg and he looked alot paler than normal. It made my heart break obviously not littreally but it felt so much like it. It felt like I could hear my heart littreally snap. Penny squeezed my hand bringing me back to reality.
I saw Penny's eyes full of tears,she was just as hurt of seeing him like this as everyone else. Mary looked a little better now and Leonard gave her a tissue before comforting Penny next. It seemed like Leonard was too busy comforting everyone so he wouldn't have to feel it too. It was him living in denial and I could see it but I didn't say anything.
I moved closer to Sheldon. I sat next to Mary and held onto Sheldon's hand. I squeezed his hand so tight with more tears strolling down my face. I kissed the back of his hand then continued to hold it. Mary rubbed her hand on my back and I just gave a small smile. I leaned my head on Mary's shoulder still holding Sheldon's hand.
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Mary's pov :
We sat on seats scattered around the room and we were interupted by a man that was dressed in a white lab coat,his black hair was neatly gelled up with his pretty blue eyes and beautiful white smile. He now noticed all eyes were on him and how many eyes they were.
"Wow there is so much people here. " the doctor said with a faint smile.
"Well my baby got quite some special friends, don't he ?" I said with almost the same faint smile the doctor had and my eyes moved around the room looking at all of them and then back at the doctor expecting him to answer something he didn't know the answer to.
I had a special place in my heart for all of Sheldon's friends. The way they tolerated him and even played a part in making him a better person . After Sheldon's father died, Sheldon was never the same. He would never admit that but everyone saw it. He became colder and more distant like he put a fence around his heart to prevent feeling like that again but all his friends have slowly crawled their way in,especially Amy.
I loved the influence Amy had on him. I couldn't imagine a better person made for Sheldon. They were made for each other. They were better together than they were apart.
"I'm sure he does." he said with another smile then continued in a more professional tone which nobody liked,"You must be Mrs Cooper? His mother? ".
I smiled and nodded like it was an accomplishment I was proud of. He was a accomplishment I was proud of. I was proud to be his mother. I looked back at Sheldon with a small smile.
The doctor then looked behind me to see Amy fiddling with her wedding band on her finger.
"You must be Mrs Fowler. His wife ?"he said looking at her now.
Amy didn't seem to respond like she wasn't in the room but then she just looked at him and nodded as she processed what he said. She couldn't utter a sound anymore. She couldn't seem to speak anymore. She didn't say anything like nothing that could ever be said was important anymore.
I always remembered everytime someone would call her Mrs Fowler Sheldon would correct them. He would say she was Dr Fowler. No one understood why until he said that Amy was more than just his wife. She was her own person to. He was always so proud of her. He was always her biggest fan even if he had a hard time showing it sometimes. I knew how accustomed she was to having him correct them but he wasn't here to correct them now was he.
I often remembered the moments he would talk my ear off not only about his accomplishments but Amy's to. I never thought I would see the day Sheldon would fall head over heels over a girl. Not only that but marry her when he thought marriage was absurd. It was just an empty vow that didn't mean anything because everyone seemed to break it . I always hated that my marriage was never a good example for him and I wished he got to see more of my parents marriage before my father died.
I most certainly didn't expect to get a grandchild from him. When Sheldon and Amy told me I thought it was some joke. Amy had to actually show me the pregnancy test to believe it but when I did I was over the moon .
I moved to Pasendena to be closer to my grandchild and my son,especially after Meemaw. Missy and Georgie remained where they were but they visited alot more now.
I looked back at Amy who was now squeezing Sheldon's hand so tightly. I realized I needed to correct him for not only my son but for her. It was such a simple thing but it meant the world because it was one of the ways Sheldon showed he loved her.
"Actually she is Dr Fowler but yes she is his wife." I said with another small smile looking at Amy who was trying to stop herself from crying.
Amy grabbed my hand to show her gratitude with her free hand. I squeezed it a little tighter to remind her I was here.
" Wow that is impressive I must say. Would you both like to talk outside?"the doctor said still remaining professional.
"Actually im sure everyone would love it if you said it here. These people are as much as family to him as we are. " I said again looking at all the people in the room who were concerned for their friend,their family.
I also realized how much these people meant to Sheldon and it was only right they be here to. The doctor smiled a little and nodded.
"Very well then ." he said opening up a file which everyone presumed was Sheldon's.
" Sheldon's condition is stable for now but he endured alot of trauma to his body. We were able to stabilize him in surgery where he had internal bleeding and as you can see he crushed his right tibia to. We would need to get him into another surgery as soon as possible when he starts recovering to fix more of the trauma left on the body. The only problem with that is that we won't leave his body long enough to recover fully when we do the surgery which can be quite dangerous for him as his body is not used to the amount of trauma he went through. The surgery is quite necessary though and needed to be done as soon as possible so even if the surgery goes well you could still be looking at his organs failing from all the trauma from the surgery. We have him stable for now which is a good thing but if he can fight through all of that he will be fine so we all just have to have hope that everything will go well . I'm really sorry it isn't better news.We do hope the more he recovers the more chance there is of him waking up. Let's just hope for the best and hope Sheldon pulls through. " the doctor said sadly looking at all of us with more tears in our eyes.
"Th...ank you doctor." I eventually got out through the crying.
" I will leave you guys be and check on him later tonight." The doctor said disappointed then left the room.
Amy slowly sat back in her seat not letting go of Sheldon's hand. She felt completely cold throughout her whole body. She felt empty like something is missing. She couldn't pin point it but she just couldn't cry anymore. Like she hasn't processed everything. It all felt like one big nightmare.
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What are you doing ? " Amy said as she saw darkness when she realized someone put their hands over her eyes. She could smell talcum powder so she knew it was Sheldon.
" Shh don't go waking up Leonard now or we are attached to an object by an inclined plane wrapped helically on an axis. " Sheldon said as she then felt his lips on her neck.
" Why would we be screwed ? " Amy said with a giggle remembering their conversation when she asked him to meet her mother. She continued," I didn't ask you to meet my mother again did I ? . " .
"You think you are so smart don't you. " Sheldon said as Amy could feel him smile.
"That's because I am. I have a nobel prize and doctorate to prove it. Now uncover my eyes please. You know I can't stand the darkness. " Amy said politely but she still smiled.
"Yes I suppose you are right but i have those things to you know . " he said with another chuckle then continued," I just wanted to show you the most beautiful person in the whole world so hold on quickly." .
He counted down from three then slowly took his hands away so she could see.
She just looked into her ordinary mirror that was on her dressing table and then she suddenly realized he was referring to her in the reflection. She smiled and then her cheeks became rosy. She saw Sheldon sitting behind her now smiling at her.
"Wow you must really love yourself to talk so highly about yourself. " Amy eventually said with a giggle.
" You know I was talking about you ." Sheldon said looking at her through the mirror .
He then turned her cheek so her face was facing him and he pressed his lips against hers then continued to stare into her emerald green eyes.
"I am serious you know. You are just breathtaking." Sheldon said softly like it was a moment just between them .
Amy eventually got up and Sheldon straightened himself so he was taller than Amy once again . Amy reached on her tippy toes a little and pulled the corners of his shirt to pull him down.
"You are quite good looking yourself ." Amy said with a big smile and it was her turn to kiss him now.
" Tell me something I don't know." Sheldon said with another smile.
"Don't get your ego as tall as you are Dr Cooper."Amy said trying to sound serious.
" I would never Dr Fowler. " Sheldon said dramatically .
They both laughed then met each other's lips once again to only be parted once they needed to refill with more oxygen. Not long went by until they heard a baby cry on the monitor that was placed on the dressing table.
" Seems like you were right Dr Cooper. You are attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically on an axis. " Amy said smiling at him .
"Yes unfortunately I have to be right all the time now don't I. I will be back in a flash . " Sheldon said chuckling as he gave a quick peck on Amy's cheek and then left to comfort his infant son.
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Amy's pov:
"Amy ? You okay ? " Mary said to a now lifeless me.
"Last time she did this she ended up laughing for a long time after. " Bernadette now said sounding concerned.
"What ? I'm sorry. " I said unfortunately coming back to realize my surroundings again .
"We were worried about you sweetie. It was like you were no longer on earth anymore" Mary said sweetly.
I noticed that Mary's eyes looked alot redder than the last time I saw her face. Everyone was seated silently not saying a word. Their eyes were just as red but most of them have given up on crying. No one left and I hated how everyone was looking at me like I was a glass that could break at any second. I hated that I felt like a glass that was slowly breaking.
"Mary,you should go to the church like you wanted to go . We will look after Amy . If anything happens we will call you." Howard said with a small smile.
Mary looked at me for reassurance and I just nodded with a smile.
"Okay I will be back to check on you guys just now and Sheldon." she said looking at her child lying there one last time and left before she could cry even more in front of everyone.
I zoned back out again into my own little world replaying the memories. I didn't notice the tears that would fall down but I wasn't crying as much anymore. Everytime I was brought back to see Sheldon helpless on a hospital bed it made me hurt everywhere.
The only thing that could be heard was the machines beeping and supporting Sheldon. Eventually Penny broke the silence next.
"Im sorry I can't do this. " Penny said with tears falling down her face.
She got her bag over the chair and ran outside. Leonard tried running after her but I insisted I go instead. Leonard was a little hesitant but I gave him a reassuring smile to assure him it will be okay so he let me go. I went after Penny but she was to quick and nowhere to be found.
I walked the walls of the hospital until I remembered something and knew exactly where she would be.
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I went outside to see Penny sitting on a bench a little further in the distance. She had a flask with her. I went to sit next to Penny and I didn't say anything.
"How did you know you would find me here?" Penny asked realizing I was there.
"I remembered something you told me and just wanted to see if maybe you would be here. I see I was right. "I said kindly.
"When I was terrified that I was going to have a miscarriage,I rushed here but then stood frozen in my tracks. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't call Leonard because he would be just as scared as me maybe even more."Penny randomly started talking.
"So you called Sheldon when you were at the hospital"I then said filling in the story I heard from Sheldon.
Penny laughed then wiped the tear that strolled down her face,"Yes which is ridiculous because he worries more than Leonard does but I needed someone and I couldn't bear to utter out of my mouth that I could be having a miscarriage to Leonard. I knew it would break him so I called Sheldon then he demanded I sit here and wait for him.".
"Then he came "I said trying to be more supportive.
"Yeah and he didn't freak out once. I don't know how he did it,it was like I knew he was scared but he smiled and helped me through the whole thing. It ended up being nothing I was just being stupid but he didn't complain or anything. So after I was relieved we sat back down here so I could breathe more knowing I wasn't losing her. I couldn't stop crying in relief and he comforted me. I was so proud of him that day."Penny then carried on.
"I was proud of him to. He told me the difficulties he went through and he didn't know how he could comfort you if it was worse case scenario but he was glad that it wasn't."
"Clearly I mean have you seen how close he is with her. I'm pretty sure he was relieved to but he also allowed me to tell Leonard instead of blurting it out like always. I don't know but that day I kind of realized how much he has changed from the last time he rushed me to hospital." She gave a huge smile then continued,"You know that was also the day he told me that you guys were having Leo. I thanked him for everything and he mentioned he was happy to help and it was understandable to feel the way I felt then slipped in that I would probably have to do the same thing for him when I become a aunt."
"I knew it! There was no way you would be that surprised when I told you. You know I tell him not to tell anyone and he wants to tell the whole world." I said giggling a little.
"Don't blame him now. He was just so excited and happy I think it slipped out. I was extremely surprised and happy for you both. You both deserved it and Amy I'm telling you I have never seen him so happy when he mentioned Leo since your wedding day. I actually cried happy tears but that was probably also the hormones. I hugged him so hard he was scared I broke his spine."
"Thank you Penny . I'm so happy for you and Leonard with Emily. I know you didn't want a child but you are an amazing mother and I kind of feel like the world gave you something you didn't realize you needed."I smiled then held Penny's hand.
"The world gave me alot of things I didn't realize I needed. It gave me Leonard,Emily, Bernadette, Rajesh,even Howard, Halley, Michael, Leo,you and S..sheldon."Penny said barely able to mention the last name without crying.
She drank more out of the flask as the tears ran down her face.
"He is such a goofball but I love him and I don't want to say goodbye Amy. I don't think I can. He worked his way into my heart and has become like this brother to me but now I could never see him again. "Penny said crying even more as she took another sip.
"I know. I love him so much to. He was the first and last person I have ever loved and that isn't going to change. I have a beautiful child and one on the way because of him and I'm just as scared to lose him but we can't think like that right now. We need to have hope that he will make it out of this. We need to believe that he will fight this and we need to be there for him to help him . Penny I know this is scary and horrible but we can get through this together. I don't think I could have gotten through this day without you and Bernadette so I'm going to be here for you to. One day at a time okay ?" I said through the tears and repeating what the girls have told me the whole day.
Penny nodded then squeezed my hand. Penny took a deep breath and gave her flask to me. We both walked inside once again.
Once we reached Sheldon's room,Penny froze outside the doorway until she felt a hand holding hers. I did the same thing that Penny did for me earlier. I took deep breaths and nodded for her to do the same and we looked at each other one last time then headed in.
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"Amy, sweetie, wake up . " Penny now said lightly shaking me.
I groaned in disagreement until eventually my eyes slowly opened.
"We are going to take you home now okay. " Leonard said as I saw the sun was setting now.
Howard and Bernadette were no longer there. It was now just Mary,Rajesh,Penny and Leonard. I looked at Sheldon and then shook my head.
" My home is here so im not going anywhere. " I said.
"I know it is hard to leave him but you need to get some sleep,eat something and shower."Penny said trying to be understanding.
"No, I'm not going anywhere. I need to be with him."I said refusing even more.
"Amy,That is totally understandable and I get that but it is no longer you anymore. Leo is waiting for you and you have an unborn child to look after to." Rajesh said using his eyes to point out my pregnancy.
"Amy,The hospital is keeping extra watch over him for us and will let us know if there is even the slightest change. I know it isn't nice and I don't want to leave him to but we will be back as soon tommorow morning as possible and he would want us to look after ourselves and my grandchildren first. " Mary said leaning down to get to my height on the chair.
"O..Okay but we will be here first thing in the morning. You promise ?"I said a little hesitant.
"I promise,now let's get you home. I mean to the place you live. " Mary said with a small smile to know I am choosing to leave.
"I don't think i could sleep in our bed knowing he isn't there. I forgot what it was like to sleep alone. " I said remembering I would have to go into an empty,cold bed.
"Okay how about Leonard,Emily and I stay over along with Mary. The kids will have a little sleepover which will keep them occupied. Leonard and I will be in the next room and so will Mary. Maybe you will feel less alone. Would you like that ?"Penny said trying to get me home.
I thought about it and thought about going into a cold,lonely bed which I wasn't looking forward to but maybe having people over would help so I nodded in agreement.
Leonard left to get a change of clothes,the kids,drop Rajesh at his apartment and get food.
I asked Penny and Mary to leave without me as I would catch up and meet them in the car. Once they left I stared at Sheldon one more time tracing my thumb on his cheek.
"Without you I would be attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically on an axis. So please don't go . We need you. I ...I need you. I love you." I said in a whisper as I felt the tears stroll down my face once again .
I wiped them quickly and left the room, feeling heavier than when I came in like I was carrying a dead weight.
to be continued...
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Thank you guys for reading this far. This chapter was a little hard to write trying to fit in everyone's sadness but throughout the story it will focus on them. I hope it wasn't to sad and the shamy moment was cute. Anyway hope to see you next chapter :)