All weekend I'm a shut-in. Hilary come to my house a total of 72 times, count it with me 72. My mom tried to get us to talk but I shut the door in Hilary's face and locked it. Then I told my mom to ignore Hilary no matter how many times she knocked and rang the doorbell. She's come back 2 times an hour then she got desperate and came back like every five minutes.
"Go away!" I opened my window when mom poked her head into my room complaining about her headache.
"Poppy! Please!" Hilary begged.
"Go away or I'll call the cops," I say.
She was crying.
It broke my heart.
"Can you please explain to me why you two are fighting? You looked so happy at the softball game." Mom sat next to me on the bed.
"Because she's a liar," I wipe frantically at my own tears that refused to stop.
"Poppy people make mistakes. I'm sure Hilary didn't mean to hurt you. It's obvious you two still love each other, you should give her a second chance."
"No. Go away!" I push my mom off my bed.
She sighs and leaves the room just as the doorbell rang again.
"Deal with this, please," Mom complains.
"Am I not allowed to talk to Hilary anymore?" Georgia asks.
I sigh.
Then I march downstairs and open the door. Hilary's eyes lit up when she saw me.
"Please go away," I said in defeat.
"Just talk to me," she begs.
"There is nothing left to say." I move to shut the door.
She stops me.
"Hilary go away! What more do I have to do, spell it out!? I don't want to see you ever again! Just leave me alone."
She engulfs me in a hug and my heart stops.
"I'm sorry." She whimpers.
I sob and bury my head into her shoulder.
"Please give me another chance." She begs.
I pull back and look into her eyes, she's not wearing her contacts. Her eyes are actually blue. I like them better this way.
"I know what I did was stupid, I should have just talked to you, if I could take it back I would. I never meant to hurt you. Never..." she caresses my face, wiping my tears.
I open my mouth to say something when,
"Poppy?" Zoey stops her bike in front of my house.
I flinch and quickly push Hilary away.
"Go away, I won't say it again. I mean it!" I shout at her.
She looks hurt.
My chest aches.
"Poppy please."
"Get away from her!" Zoey marches over to us.
Hilary backs up.
"Get out of here! She doesn't want to talk to you ever again! You are a disgusting human being and we are both sorry for ever knowing you." Zoey spat at her.
Hilary looks at me but I hide behind Zoey and say,
"Go."
She breaks into sobs and runs to her car and finally leaves me alone.
"You okay?" Zoey turns to me.
"Yeah," I wipe my face. "She's been basically stalking me all weekend. I was just frustrated with her." I keep wiping until my face is dry.
Zoey eyes me.
"Anyway, come inside." I pull her inside.
Mom sighs when she sees me come back with Zoey, not Hilary.
I go up to my room and reclaim my position on the bed. Zoey sits next to me. I sniffle and grab a tissue to wipe my face and blow my nose.
"You okay?" she asks me.
"Yeah, whatever. But I've been meaning to ask you something." I say.
"What?"
"That place, the skating rink, what was that place?" I ask.
She sighs.
"Tell me." I plea.
"My sister showed it to me. She'd go there after my dad would... hit her. It was special to us. Just a place we could go and scream at the top of our lungs and no one would hear us. We'd write all over the wall things we could never say. It's my special place, my sister passed it to me. Whenever I feel down I go there for a moment to myself. I showed it to Hilary, I wanted her to see that I was more than meets the eye."
"Zoey, does your dad hit you?" I ask.
She's silent for a moment before looking at me and nodding.
"Zoey you should have told me."
"I never took you to that place because I didn't want you to know that about me. I purposely never told you any of that about me because I never wanted you to see me like that. You were supposed to be my escape. A place I could come and just be normal with and never have to worry about that stuff coming up in conversation. I don't want you to feel sorry for me."
"You make me feel like a bad friend because I didn't know that about you." I grab her hand.
"You're actually a really good friend, I'm kind of a bad friend."
"No, you're not."
She moves to sit right next to me and rest her head on my shoulder.
I rest my head on top of hers.
"Do you still like Hilary?" Zoey asks.
"I'm done with Hilary," I say.
She moves to look me in the eyes.
"I mean it, I won't hurt you like that," I say.
She leans in and kisses me. For a moment I'm frozen in shock, then I kiss her back. Her lips move against mine and I wait for that moment, that burst of energy when my heart goes pitter-patter and my insides dissolve into mush. But I don't feel anything.
It's crazy to think just a couple of weeks ago this was what I wanted most in the world.
"We should just stay friends," I whisper against her lips.
"Right," she jerks back. "You're right. Sorry." She frantically fixes her hair.
"It's okay." I rest my head on her shoulder.
"So you don't like me like that anymore?" she asks.
"I'm done with romance, for good. I'll be celibate like Wes." I say.
She snorts in amusement.
"I've learned my lesson, it's all just too complicated for me." I sigh.
"I feel that. I might stay single for a while too." She says.
For a moment we sit in silence and I fight back tears as my eyes lock in on a forgotten butterscotch candy still in the wrapper on my dresser.
I wish the pain would stop.
At school, on Monday as I pull my bike into the bike rack my eyes beheld a huge sign. A banner draped just about the entrances of the school that said Poppy Bennett I am sorry. Zoey rolled in next to me and said,
"Whoa."
I sighed.
"She doesn't know when to quit." Zoey locked up her bike.
As we walked into the school the signs continued.
On each wall, all the way to my normal seat.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
I was stupid.
Give me another chance.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
I sat down at the table.
"Yeesh," Wes sat in front of me. Zoey sat next to me.
I ran my hands down my face before laying my head on the table and blocking everything out.
"Take the damn hint already, Poppy isn't into you anymore." Zoey snarked.
There was a moment of silence.
"Right Poppy?" Zoey asked.
I just gave her a thumbs up.
Wes sighed.
I flinched when I felt something slam down on the table in front of me. I looked up and there was Hilary, red and puffy-eyed and determined to ruin my day. Before Zoey could say anything Hilary pushed the canvas she had slammed down onto the table towards me.
I looked at it.
It was a painting of my face.
"I won't stop." She said.
"Go away Hilary," I pushed the painting back.
"I said I was sorry!"
"I'm not the one you need to say sorry to!" I shout.
She blinks at me in surprise then her lavender eyes move over to Zoey. Zoey gets up and stomps away. Typical Zoey. I get up to follow her but Hilary steps in front of me. I move to go around her but she moves in the way.
"Stop it," I beg.
"Poppy—"
"You did this to me!" I cut her off. "You... made me trust you. You made me feel things for you. I thought we had a real bond. It was all a lie." I sob.
"I didn't do anything to you! Sure I lied to Zoey to get to you but I never lied to you. I never pretended or forced you to like me. That was all real." She says.
"You manipulated me!"
"You did the same! You were pretending to be my friend so that you could get me away from Zoey. Don't you see, maybe this whole thing started off as a lie, but what you and I had, what we felt for each other. That was always real."
I back up but she keeps walking towards me.
"You can lie to yourself all you want but I'm not going to stop. I made a promise. I'm always going to be there for you, be your friend. No matter what. Even through this. I promised you that. Remember?"
My back hits the wall.
"Get away from me," I beg.
She shakes her head no.
She caresses my cheek, wiping the tears I didn't even know I shed.
"I never meant to hurt you," she whispers. "And I know you're scared to trust me again, but I just want to start over. On a clean slate. I want you to know me, the real me. No lies, no nothing. Please, Poppy, stop trying to shut me out."
"I'm scared," I admit.
"I know, me too." She sniffles and wipes my tears.
She leans in to kiss me but I stop her.
"I can't, Zoey is going to hate me again. We just made up and—" she cuts me off with a kiss.
My heart flutters and I deepen the kiss.
"Let me handle Zoey, let me make this right. Please." She whispers against my lips.
I grab her face and I kiss her, harder, deeper.
She wraps her arms around me.
In the distance, I hear Wes sigh.
But I don't care.
I can't help it.
The heart wants what it wants and my heart has spoken. It picks the annoyingly persistent, over-the-top, perfectly perfect Hilary King. Even if she isn't perfect, she's good enough for me.