Later that day, I stood in my new bedroom staring at myself in the mirror.
"You look very fine, Rājakumāra," a soft voice said behind me in accented Arabic.
"Of course, I do," I said, using the mirror to look at Vinit, my new manservant. He was a small man of indeterminate age with a fine mustache and long thin hands that seemed to always be moving.
Though he looked anything but capable, Ambassador Bhushan had assured me that Vinit was the very best and it was true that I had no complaints about my appearance.
The white dhoti Vinit had selected was made of the finest fabric and the brilliant blue bejeweled pheta on my head matched my eyes and my amulet which wasn't tucked under my shirt but proudly displayed. When I had talked to the sultan, I had dressed well, but now I was in full traditional royal Mujulaain attire.
In short, I looked like me, so why was it so hard to smile?
I tried again, but it was more of a grimace.
Damn it.
Earlier today, I'd been smiling like it was nothing. I had been practically mad with happiness. And now...this.
What sort of diplomat couldn't smile on demand?
I was a prince. This was a basic requirement. And I needed to do everything I could to appear normal which meant I needed more than a fancy outfit. I had to act the part if I didn't want the court to eat me alive.
"Rājakumāra?" Vinit inquired in a quavering tone which did not help things.
How was I supposed to reach a state of calm assurance when he kept fidgeting and sending me furtive glances?
"Shall I tell Sēnāpatī Bhushan that you're ready?" he asked.
Was I ready?
I contemplated my reflection. My mouth twitched into a passable expression, but it was hardly what I was going for.
Come on Dhiren.
"Rājakumāra?" Vinit asked again.
I closed my eyes and breathed. Ever since I'd lost my identity, I had dreamed of this moment. Tonight, I was Prince Alagan Dhiren Rajaram of Mujulaain, son of King Rajaram and Queen Deschen of Mujulaain and everyone would know it.
So of course, I was ready. I was born ready.
"Rājā-"
"Yes, Vinit. I am ready," I said, interrupting him. "Thank you. You may go."
He bowed deeply and scurried off.
Good riddance.
I attended to my reflection one last time.
No more trying to appear confident. I was confident. I was Prince Dhiren.
I summoned up my most charming court smile. The one that would set my eyes to dazzling. The type of smile a prince should have before meeting his princess.
Ah yes. That was it. I could just picture Jasmine's expression when she saw her handsome prince.
By some miracle, my smile brightened even more.
There!
Perfect as it should be.
****************************
My arrival in the dining hall was like a splash of water on a fire. All sound ceased. Every head turned my way as I knew they would.
I flashed that practiced smile and watched dozens of ladies blushed despite themselves. Yes. That was more like it.
Charm and confidence.
I led Bhushan and a legion of Mujulaain servants behind me as I strode past the crowd, ignoring the looks of shock, curiosity, and of course, interest. Everyone knew my existence should be an impossibility and even if they had known the truth like the sultan, it wouldn't help.
No. When it came to court life, attitude mattered more than anything else. If I wanted to be accepted, I just had to act like I already belonged.
And how could I not belong when Jasmine was looking at me like that? Her eyes had widened when I first appeared and she saw I wasn't a nobody or a servant. I was a prince, her equal. After her initial surprise wore off, I saw her mouth quirk to the side with appreciation.
Yes!
I had to stop myself from quickening my step. I must play a part tonight, though I wanted to be by her side right this instant. She was stunning, wearing a shimmering violet gown I'd never seen before.
When I finally stopped in front of her, I couldn't help but look at her for a moment longer than was wise. "Princess Jasmine," I said, and then, I hesitated. A compliment should go here. I had prepared several, but I had forgotten most of them the moment our eyes met. The ones I did remember were not nearly demonstrative enough. I just wanted to tell her she was beautiful, but I knew better. Jasmine found tributes about her appearance to be trite, so I settled for saying, "A pleasure," and let my eyes do the rest.
"Likewise," the princess said, her smile plainly visible for all to see.
Thank the gods. It was silly to worry about such trifles, but I'd seen so many princes fail to please her in this very moment. They said the wrong thing and it was over. Of course, I wasn't like those other princes. Jasmine was already my betrothed.
As if to prove my point, the princess held out her hand.
I took it and with careful grace, I pressed my lips to the back of her hand in a light kiss. The now-familiar rush of warmth traveled through me. I felt flushed as several people behind me stifled gasps and began whispering. No one was used to the princess favoring a suitor like this.
I hid a smirk. They would find out soon enough.
Beside Jasmine at the head of the table, the sultan coughed.
Because I had a duty to fulfill tonight, I stood up, let go of Jasmine's hand, and addressed the sultan. "Sultan Hamed, it is an honor to see you again."
"Yes," he said drily. "I suppose it is."
With those "welcoming" words, I decided it was time to sit down. After I gave Jasmine one last look, I took my seat at the sultan's left side and gave him my complete attention.
"Prince Dhiren," the sultan began, "It has been too long."
I swallowed. Pleasing the court was one thing, but this man. There were so many questions that he could pose that would ruin this as quickly as it started and we both knew it.
The sultan seemed to read my mind. He smiled slightly in acknowledgment of his more powerful position and said, "Agrabah has changed as I am sure you know. Tell me. What are your opinions of our current position on the global stage?"
I resisted a sigh of relief. That was a request I could actually answer.
"Yes," Grand Vizier Gagan said. The old man was seated on my other side. "Do tell." In a whisper, he added, "Phantom Vizier."
Ah...is that the story that was going around? I would have to inquire about the exact nature of the rumors surrounding me later, but this half-truth was not bad.
I smiled at both men. They watched me closely as I answered, "I am pleased to see that Agrabah has been flourishing recently. Although, I am a bit concern about..."
And thus, my test had begun.
Gagan and the sultan quizzed me on a multitude of topics, but if they were hoping to trip me up, they must have been disappointed. It was all so easy. I had spent most of my life studying global politics and the other part advising Jasmine. I ate little and spoke at length.
By the end of the meal, I thought I had earned the Grand Vizier's reluctant respect. The sultan was still wary, but he remained cordial and invested in our discussion. There had even been a few times where I had managed to make him laugh. It was a good foundation to build on for our future conversations and relationship as father-in-law and son.
Then the dinner entertainment began. I expected there to be a performance of some kind. Perhaps poetry since I was fond of it, but it turned out that the performers were just the accompaniment. After the musicians were set up on a dais, they began to play and members of the court went out to dance.
When the first set was finished, Jasmine leaned forward and said, "Prince Dhiren."
I looked across the table at her. My one regret thus far tonight was that we hadn't gotten to speak much. "Yes, Princess?"
"I remember that you enjoy dancing."
The confidence that I had worked so hard to maintain all night suffered its third and most brutal attack.
She wanted to dance. Now? In front of everyone? Was she crazy?
But then I'd never told her how ungainly I felt as a human these days. She didn't know that I wasn't coordinated enough to dance with the rest of the court. That I wasn't even coordinated enough to eat properly. Or how much I had practice walking and bowing yesterday to ensure I made a good showing today.
And now it was too late to say so. Before I could even formulate a response, the sultan said, "I remember that as well." His gaze was a little too keen for my liking. He had noticed my discomfort.
I tried to stay composed. The situation was getting out of hand, but perhaps I could still save it. I began, "I do like to dance on occasion, but-"
"Then you must!" the sultan declared, cutting off my protest with his exuberance.
"Oh father, if he doesn't want to..." Jasmine began, trying to salvage this growing disaster.
"I'm sure he does," the sultan said, interrupting her as well. "Don't you, Prince Dhiren?" The challenge in his voice was unmistakable and he wasn't the only one waiting for my answer now. I could sense the entire court watching. There was unfortunately only one acceptable response.
"Your father is right, princess. I would be honored if you would dance with me tonight," I said, standing up. I smiled as I made my way over to her chair. Holding out my hand, I asked, "Shall we?"
"Alright," she said tentatively before taking my hand. She rose up and together we made our way to the dance floor.
As we walked, she whispered, "I'm so sorry. Ambassador Bhushan mentioned you liked dancing and I vaguely remember us dancing when I was younger. So, I thought this would be a nice surprise, but I guess not. Do you not like dancing?" Her contrition confirmed my earlier conclusion, she hadn't known.
"I do like dancing," I told her, "but-" I hesitated, scanning the floor.
Groups of two to four couples formed circles with their hands touching in the middle. I picked a spot on the far side of the room, a bit away from the other dancers to put as much distance between us and the sultan as I could manage. I wanted to avoid attention right now, especially since there would be no one who was high ranked enough to join me and the princess in this dance.
"But what?" Jasmine prompted as we settled into our spot.
I didn't want to admit it, but "I probably won't be very good at it tonight."
Her eyes lit up.
I gave her a strange look.
"You're always so modest," she explained. "You had me worried for a bit."
"Jasmine, I'm not being modest," I hissed as the introduction passage started and the dancers shifted to put us in the very center, despite my efforts.
Great.
Just Great.
Jasmine's playful expression did not change as she said, "We'll see. For now, just smile and try to have fun. Alright?"
I attempted another smile. I was not sure where the last one had gone.
"You're grimacing," she informed me, unhelpfully. Those were her last words before, the music picked up and the dancing began.
Bhushan was right. I did like to dance and I was usually an excellent dancer. All Mujulaain princes were taught to dance in many styles as part of our physical training. Agrabah dances tended to be much more intimate than I was used to, very western even compared to their neighbors. Still, the basics were there.
The music was a steady pace, instead of the high energy songs I was used to, and the dance we were doing focused on mirrored movement, a dance style I favored. Furthermore, for this dance, it was ladies first. Jasmine and the rest of the women would do a move and the men were supposed to respond with the male equivalent, so I didn't even have to remember all the steps.
It should have been easy.
It wasn't.
I didn't fall or step on Jasmine's feet, but that is about all I am willing to say about my abysmal performance.
When the song ended, I felt like I had been given a second chance at life. It took all my willpower not to run out of the room.
"Dhiren," Jasmine hissed as I began to dutifully escort her back to the relative safety of the dining table and her father's mocking gaze.
"Yes," I didn't bother hiding the annoyance in my tone though I took care to make sure it didn't show on my face. People were still watching.
"Dhiren." This time, she actively slowed our pace to a crawl. "Please, look at me."
I glanced down at her.
She was wearing that subtly pitying expression again. The entire dance, she had alternated between that and amusement. I am not sure which expression I hated more.
"I am sorry," she said in a whisper, "You're quite upset I can tell. And you were right. I made a mistake in thinking your curse wouldn't affect anything besides your appearance. I'll check with you next time to make sure something like this doesn't happen again."
"Thank you," I said, trying to sound grateful. I knew I should be pleased by her apology and offer, but I wasn't.
She continued, "Nonetheless, I just want you to know that I enjoyed the dance. I would prefer another imperfect dance with you to a superior one with another more experienced and graceful prince any day."
I had to look away. Everyone was watching. She was watching, but it was too much. A more experienced and graceful prince? What was she saying?
"Dhiren," she squeezed my hand, "Please tell me I didn't just make it worse."
I breathed and schooled my features accordingly.
"No, of course not. I am glad you enjoyed yourself, princess," I said in what was hopefully a civil tone.
"Are you?" she pressed.
I forced myself to meet her worried gaze head-on and said with more conviction, "Yes. I am quite glad. Really. So, let's stop stalling and return to your father."
"If you're sure," Jasmine searched my face, but I must have been successful in hiding my emotions because she did not immediately start apologizing again. Instead, she continued with, "Because I wouldn't be opposed to another dance or even," her gaze flicked over to one of the balconies, "spending some time outside? It's dark and secluded out there." She looked back at me, hopeful and there was just a little bit of a gleam in her eyes. I knew what she was proposing.
Despite my ill-humor, I was tempted. Jasmine really was exceptionally lovely tonight. Even my bad dancing had not completely distracted me from her charms. And I knew I was better at kissing than dancing. However, I should not risk doing anything illicit within the view of the court. "I'm sorry, princess," I really was, "but I do not think the balcony is secluded enough for...private conversation. Come."
After a moment, she nodded, and at last, I was able to return us to the table.
As soon as I sat down, the sultan accosted me. I thought that he would want to shame me further by asking about my dance instruction, but instead, he said, "Well, that was a nostalgic display."
"Your highness?" I said in the most neutral tone I could manage.
"It's a long story," he said with a wave of his hand.
"But father, we have a long night," Jasmine said from the other side of the table, "and I don't think Dhiren plans to dance again any time soon."
The sultan chuckled and there were a few sniggers from Gagan and the other people at the table who were close enough to hear her comment.
Jasmine sent me a quick apologetic look.
I met it with a smile. It was the best course of action. I had proved that I knew how to dance which had been the point. Though I wish...
But it was no matter. I had to pretend like it didn't bother me and focus on finishing the evening, so I said, "Yes, I believe that Princess Jasmine is right. Though I was delighted to be the partner of such an accomplished dancer, I am now more eager for a story than another dance. So, if you don't share a story, Sultan Hamed, I will!"
This time, the laughter at the table was less suppressed and more friendly.
After that trial was suffered through, the sultan conceded, "Very well. I suppose we have time for me to bore you with a tale from my youth." That was where his apparent reluctance ended. The sultan launched into his anecdote with enthusiasm.
He began, "The first thing you must understand is that Jasmine's mother, my Cyrila, was incredibly tall by Agrabah standards, taller than you, Prince Dhiren. So, you can imagine the disparity when..."
I tried to listen intently. I knew very little about the sultan's relationship with his wife, besides the fact that they had loved each other. Mostly because up until recently, he had never spoken of her. The sultan's story was enlightening and if I had been able to get over my own terrible dance performance like I knew that I should, I think I would have truly enjoyed it. As it was, I simply focused on reacting at the right times and filed the information away for another day.
After the sultan finished his monologue, I kept a pleasant expression on my face and I did my best to stay civil for the rest of the night. All in all, the welcome feast turned out to be a moderate success. The sultan was less hostile. Gagan liked me. And Jasmine...
At the end of the night, after I had escorted her to her rooms, she had apologized to me yet again. Then she had kissed me so passionately that I was left light-headed and woozy.
Despite all that, I went to bed thoroughly unsatisfied. I had been so caught up in the miracle of my current circumstances that I hadn't done nearly enough to rise to meet my good fortune. Tonight showed me the folly of such complacent thinking.
I now knew that I would need to invest a significant amount of time in learning various basic skills again like: dancing, smiling, eating, and all sorts of other forms of comportment, not to mention, swordsmanship and other types of intensive physical training. A few days would not make up for years of neglect.
It would take me a while to remaster everything, but I would do anything to avoid another night like this. Jasmine should never have to choose between me and a superior prince with more grace and experience. I should be that prince. I had been once and I would be again. I would keep climbing the mountain until I was once again the type of prince who didn't bring shame upon himself, require pity or allowances for his mediocrity.
This was the vow I made to myself as I went to bed. Someday soon, I was going to leave my cursed self behind and truly become Prince Dhiren once more.