I woke up by a loud noise outside and realized i passed out on the couch. My whole body shock and I then heard the door. I stand up quickly and start folding the blanket that was placed on me. I don't see Greyson so I figured it was from him.
"Brooks" I hear a deep voice say from the door. "We have the u-haul."
"Thanks. Come on in." I say from the couch still. I had to sit a minute to realize what was going on. Then I feel hands on my shoulders. I turn and see its Patrick. I put my hand on his and smile at him saying thanks. I stand up and walk around the couch to give him a hug. I've only known Patrick for a few years. He moved here at the end of highschool. He joined the club as a way to meet friends and got along with Greyson and Zach so much he became a regular. He squeezes me tight and pulls my hair back to get it out of my face.
"He's an idiot and you have us. Whenever you need us." He said before kissing my head. He gives me one last squeeze and lets go. "Okay couch first?"
"Well actually. What are you going to need at Vicks place?" Greyson says from the kitchen. He's changed his shirt to a gray one but not his paints and his bun is tighter today than yesterday with his sunglasses placed on the back of his neck.
"Clothes, bed and some bathroom stuff.'' I answered him. He looks at me with no expression like that kiss last night didn't happen. Which made me think did it happen or did I dream it? No it had to have happened. It was so real. I decided to ignore it for now since it was not the bigger issue at the moment.
"Ok and it's going to the storage place right?" Patrick asked, walking to the door.
"Yup Im gonna call them now actually." I started for my bedroom where my phone was. I can hear the boys discussing the plan of attack for the process. I figured better they decide then me. I go to my closet and grab all my clothes. I started with my hanging clothes then made my way to my leggings and other bottoms. Everything that was in the three draws I threw in the box I had on the floor next to the clothes. Greyson went through and put an extra box or two in each room at one point last night and said it would be easier then later on.
I grabbed my phone remembering what I was going to do originally. After I got the unit situated. I messaged Tammy back and Victoria as well. I put my phone on the bed and moved on to the clothes again. I grab a pair of pants and slide them on. I grab a bra and a purple tank top and put them on quickly before the boys walk in. I just didn't have the energy to clothes the door.
I placed the hanging clothes on the box of clothes and then grabbed my Vera Bradley small bag from the top of the closet and walked to the bathroom where the box sill was from last night. I grab just the things I use everyday. I get things organized in my bag so I dont hate myself later and then place that on top of my clothes. I grab my charger and computer.
I stand there and look at the room. Remembering when We bought the house Zach and I couldn't keep our hands off each other that we christened the room twice without the bed arriving yet. I remembered putting the pictures up on the wall. Of us from over the years. I wanted black and white pictures with black frames so it wouldn't clash with whatever color I decided on the bedding. What I didn't realize was those photos where all I would be left with in the end. I don't want them now so I left them there to let Zach take them. I took them down and placed them in the closet so the photos of the house dont look bad.
"Brooks?" I hear from the living room. "We should do the bed first so that we can take all these items out and then drop off the bed last."
"Okay that sounds fine. I'll need to get this box and the bedding to the jeep. Greyson walks over, grabs them quickly and starts walking to the garage. Patrick helps me fold up the bedding and then he takes the bedding and I take the pillows to the jeep. I asked Patrick to put my bike on my bike rack and through my helmet in the jeep as well. I figure I can ride that to work from Vick's place. Work, I forgot I have to go to work in like three hours. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed work on the speed dial.
"Hey Mack! I hate to do this to you but some life altering stuff happened. I won't be able to make it in today. I will however be there tomorrow." I let my breath out and wait for the disappointment to come.
" Its ok darlin, you can fill me in later. We have never had an issue before and if you say its life altering then I believe you. I'm here if you need me." He said so calmly. "I'll call someone else to cover."
"Thanks Mack." I say almost moving me to tears. Realizing how truly sad I was. My life was no longer what it was. I put my phone in my back pocket again and walked back into the house.
I then realized the boys already had the frame in the u-haul and the mattress. How long was I in the garage for? I feel like that was fast. They are now grabbing the hutch from the kitchen. I realized they really came prepared with a dolly. I thought about how lucky I was. I have friends that are just there for me no matter what.
I go to the living room and grab the rest of the pictures I dont want and I put them in the bedroom closet with the others. Then I take the bath room box out to the garage. I take note of the items in the garage which aren't much. Holiday stuff and a lawn mower, a few items for yard work and tools. All of which he can have expect the holiday bins. I grab those and put them with the other boxes of mine. I also grab my memory box. It has all my moms stuff I have left after she passed away. I set that with my boxes as well and join the boys.
"Okay dude all that is left is the boxes." I hear Greyson say. "We can do those now but let's make sure she doesn't need to use any of those at Vicks."
"I wont" I answered, scaring them. They obviously didn't realize I was there. " All that is left is boxes?" I ask them.
"Yeah we did the bed then couch and chairs. The hutch just went in. The TV stand was so heavy but that is in and the TV is in the truck so it doesn't brake." Patrick lists.
"Oh the tv is his. That can go with the boxes I told you about." I am pointing to Greyson.
"Okay Brooks will do" he smiles while doing so and I realize he's happy. So the kiss had to have happened. I couldn't have dreamt it. "Ok boxes then. There isn't many.'' They start tord the garage.
I walk to the kitchen and sit on the counter of the aisle. I noticed I forgot to pick up the plate I broke. I start looking for something to pick it up with. Grey left the paper towels. That would work. I grab a few pieces and the trash can. I start with the pieces on the counter top and brush them to the floor. Then I pick up the bigger pieces and place them in the trash. I brush all the pieces together and scoop them up using a bill we had on the fridge. The cleaned up mess isn't perfect but it was the best I could do without my broom and mop.
I take the pictures and bills off the fridge and place them in a bag I had on top of the fridge. I open the fridge and realize I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. I look at the clock on the stove and it says ten seventeen. I look through the fridge and decide I'm eating my peach pie. I closed the door and set it on the island. I pull myself up onto the counter and open up the wrap on the pie. I take a piece of the cinnamon crust and put it in my mouth. I then realized I was starving. We packed everything so I don't have any cups for a drink either. I hear the truck start up and the garage door close.
"Well we are all packed." I hear Greyson say. "Pie for breakfast? Sounds like a party."
"Well I made it for my anniversary and today I'm getting divorced. So I guess it's a party." I say realizing just how sad that really is.
"Are you okay?" he says, walking over to stand in front of me. "You seem pretty okay for such a big thing to happen."
"You know he has been gone so much and I was here alone everyday. I kinda already grieved it. I already went through the motions. I think I'm just ready to live again. I kept myself here like a prisoner and never did anything. It's time for me to experience life." I take another piece of pie and devour it.
"I'm glad you're doing okay then. I'd feel more bad about what I did last night if you weren't so okay." He admits fidgeting with his ring.
"Grey, can I ask you something?" I ask holding the pie out for him to take a piece. He takes a piece and looks at me worried.
"Sure" he answers
"Why? Why did you kiss me like that?" I ask him
"Well" he takes a deep breath and looks out the window over the sink. " Brooks, I've loved you since I was ten years old. I never said anything because we were friends first and when you got with my bestfriend I realized i screwed up. So i bottled it up and waited for him to fuck up. When I was asked to be best man at your wedding I broke a little. When I heard Zach say you bought this house I broke a little. When I heard him say you were going to try for kids I broke a little. I figured if you were happy that's good enough for me. I wasn't going to mess up anything. I couldn't do that to you or him since I loved you both."
I had no words. I also had no clue. I knew he liked me at some point but not like that. I thought it was a crash and we were friends that's why he was always there for me. Through everything. He even helped Zach pick out my ring.
"Thank you." I say almost like I was exhaling it slowly and low. "If you didn't stay quiet about it I would have never known for myself." I take another piece of pie and look out to the barn. I can see it from the kitchen window.
"I am sorry though." he says " I would never want you to hurt like this. He's an ass sometimes."
"Yeah well life happens." I looked at the clock again. It's now almost noon. " Victoria will be here soon. She is gonna take photos to sell the place."
"Okay." he says " Well what else do you need?"
"Time" I say out loud so fast. I didnt even think I said it.
"Well" he says, placing a hand on my knee. "That I can give you."
"I didn't mean like that. I meant to get my life together." I elaborate. Realizing he was joking in a way but that was like a slap in his face.
"Oh" he says, like a puppy I scolded for biting something. "Okay nevermind."
"I didn't say I'm not interested. I'm also not saying I'm ready. I just need to rebuild my life and figure out who I am single, alone and without Zach at all." I grab his hand from my knee and place my left hand on his face running my thumb along his chin. I run my fingers down him neck and trace his tattoo that says respect. I think about how he really does respect everyone. His dad was a single parent and taught him how to treat people. His dad is very calm and collected with everything too. I see a lot of him in Greyson. His mom died when he was ten and he didn't like to talk about it.
"Brooks, I have waited a while now. I think I'm good waiting for you to be ready. I know though that I want you. The good and the bad. Im here when your ready. I mean that." He rubs his hands on my knees showing that he's respecting me even now. Before i know it i find myself pulling him in to kiss him again. I feel his hand move to my back. I feel the heat rush through my body as he slides his tongue over mine slowly. He puts his hand in my hair and pulls me closer. Then he pulls away. " Eventually" he takes a quick breath " In time."
He pushes all my hair back behind my shoulders and I realize just how bad i want him right now. I can't though. That's not right. Even though It's been awhile since Zach and I have had this kind of passion , it's not right. Then I hear the door. He pulls away and looked to the door.
"Brooklyn, Babe?" i hear realizing its Zach. "I'm so sorry babe. Please don't leave me." I hear his voice get lower realizing how much was different now. "You really are leaving aren't you?"
"Yup" I say hoping off the counter putting the pie back in the fridge. " Almost done."
"Why would you not give me a second chance?" he asked . I can see Greyson step back to the wall out of the way and soak in the show. "Last night was the first time ever cheating on you and i would never do it again." He looks awful. His black hair is disheveled and greasy. His shirt is dirty and his pants have what looks like blood.
"What did you do?" I ask him, pointing to his clothes.
"What do you care? Your leaving me." he states
"You're right, I don't really care to be honest. It's been over for awhile Zach. I asked you to come home and be with me for months. You have not kissed me in three months. Let alone sleep with me. That's been six months. Should I keep going?" I say as I walk to the bedroom. I open his door. " This is yours take it with you. There is a box as well and the stuff in the garage. Pat has your tv." I say without emotion. I feel so in control of myself for the first time in a long time.
"Babe.'' I saw the tears in his eyes but he really was crying. I didn't want to hear it or see it. I wanted to break free. " Please don't leave me."
I walk past him, turn the bathroom light off and bedroom light as I make my way to the living room. I look around the room and point to the fridge.
" Take what you need out of the fridge and I'll get the rest. All i need to do is get peanut and her box and i'm done. Are you ready Greyson?" I say looking to the kitchen.
"Oh so now you're with him then? Nice, so friendship means nothing to you? I thought when I put a ring on her finger your feelings for her would stop." I hear Zach say so to the point It was practically a knife.
"What?" I ask " What do you mean by that?" I look at Greyson.
" He told me one night that he has been in love with you for years and that I was so lucky he wasn't more pushy because he would have stolen you away if he could. So we went and picked out a ring and I proposed so he knew you were mine." Zach admits moving his arms about to prove a point like he was helping his case.
"Wow Zach do you know how much of an asshole that makes you?" I ask "Lets go Greyson you can drive. I threw him the keys from the bowl that sits on the counter.
"Good luck, she's really needy dude. It wont work." he says yelling as Greyson follows me down the hall when i open the door I hear him snap.
"You have no idea man. How much stuff I've listened to, watched you do and let you do. All knowing this woman was home being mistreated and disrespected. I am done. Just so you know the club took a vote last night. You missed too many meetings. There is no way back in. Also just so you know all I have done is kiss her. I would never disrespect anyone who doesn't deserve it. I think you need to just sit back and soak in the shit that is your life right now. You're unbelievable dude. Such an ass." Greyson grabbed the door and walked through. I can see his vein popping out the sense he was so mad. He opened the door to the jeep and hopped in, so did I. He started Penny up and off we went. Out the garage and to the road to my new future. I looked back only once. Just to close the door and make sure it closed. He looked at me quickly and I can still see the pain in his muscles.
We lived about five miles out of town on a pretty much dead road. Surrounded by woods and water. We had two ponds on the property and one that is owned by the town. I look at Greyson again, the anger and tension on his face. I reach over and place my hand on his. He looks at me and looks sad now. He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips and kisses it. Then I realize I'm still wearing my ring. He looks at it and looks at me. Then he places another kiss on my hand and holds it to his cheek for a second. Then let it go. I turn and look out the window. I watch the trees go by and the houses that pass. As I think about my ring and what Zach said. He didn't actually want to get married, he just did it in spite of Grey. That's so harsh. I look at Grey and point to pull over.
He pulls over and puts it in park. I open my door and walk to the woods a bit. I kneel down and pick up a good side rock. I dig a small hole take the ring off my finger and place it in there. I cover it with dirt and then I see Greyson joined me. He gets the rock and places it on top. Then grabs a stick and shoves it in the ground. There, I dug the grave for my life and covered it to never see light again. He wraps an arm around me and gives me a small hug. I then feel the tears, I feel the pain, I feel the anger boil and it explodes into a scream like no other I've ever had before. I feel the hug turn into a tighter one and I fall a bit and he picks you up. I feel everything. It all hit me so hard. Like that ring was the plug holding my feelings in. I turn and barry my face in his hair and neck. I hug him tighter. Then I realize I have to stop. It's not right, I need to stop. I have to collect my feelings and thoughts and move on. I let go and wipe my tears.
"You okay?" he asks, helping me with my tears.
"Yup all good now." I say quickly trying to avoid any more questions.
"Okay want to go to Vick's now?" he asks ''I think you need food, sleep and maybe a shower girly." he giggles and which makes me giggle too. He was right though it's been a long day already and night.
We get back to Penny the jeep and get in. He turns her over and off we go. I continue to watch as everything passes by me. I then remember that Vick is coming to the house to do pictures. I pull my phone out and text her quickly. I had to leave the house. It's all clean for the most part. Take the pictures needed and get it listed so I can be done. I'll see you later at the apartment." I rest my head back on the headrest and think about how Zach had blood on his pants. I wonder what could have happened. I didn't see a bruise or anything which means it must be he did the action then. I look at Greyson whose hair is whipping around and it is beautiful. He's so confident and in control behind Penny's wheel. Made me think when he found her for me. We were looking for a junk car he could get running. He was hoping for a random old thing but ran across this. I had wanted one for so long and he fixed it up to run. Said it was simple and pulled up to my work. Honked the horn for me to come out. I ran out so excited and he dangled the keys. Telling me it's mine. He doesn't want a jeep but couldn't resist getting it for me since I couldn't afford a vehicle in the near future. He told me it was a graduation present. I should have known then that he loved me more than a friend. Who builds you a car for free.
At the time Zach and I were so happy and planning college and our future. I just couldn't think about anything else. I close my eyes and feel the breeze flowing through the windows. Before I knew it we were in town.
We live in a small town but not too small. It's a tourism town so it's a small town other than summer time. We live so close to the ocean it's naturally a trap. We live in Maine in a town called Oxbine. We know all the local big wigs but not everyone knows everyone. There are always those that everyones knows because they stick out but then there are those that we have never seen. There are ten bigger buildings in town that have apartments and there is a mall too. Yet that's almost in the next town. We have a beach and a boardwalk. My work is called Cove and that is on the boardwalk. Greyson and his other friend started a business selling lemonade on the boardwalk and he works for Patricks dad too doing construction. Then I realize it's monday and Greyson isn't working.
"Do you work today?" I asked him loudly.
"Nope, they said today was off, we couldn't get the parts needed." he points to the beach we were driving by and says " now that's perfection."
Greyson was a beach bum but not like you think. He liked searching for shells and weird stuff and even does a side business for a lady that makes jewelry with it. They used to date but i think she got too crazy for him. Now that i think about it he has only ever dated her that i know of. He slept around in highschool but nothing that was worth saying was a relationship. I remember telling him he needed to find someone. He told me someday someone would find him. Great another time I should have maybe known. I look at the view and close my eyes again. I'm so tired now. I get a message on my phone. Ok girl you have the key to make yourself comfy. I put my phone down and grab my keys in my bag to make sure I have it. When I find it, relax again.
We pull up to the apartment and I see the dark green door. That is my new home now. No longer am I going to be alone. Greyson parks and looks at me.
"Paul already put your bed, clothes and bag in there. He said he got one of the guys to help." He smiles at me a bit to make it seem easier for me I think. Except nothing is really easy, it's all complicated in one way shape or form.
"Ok thank you. How did he get in." I ask him
"Oh he got here when Vick was home and she let him in and then she went to work. He left about an hour ago now." he said so smoothly like he does everyday. "Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to go with you?"
"No, I should be okay. I'm just going to get cleaned up and maybe eat something and sleep. Thank you Grey, I mean it. You have made this easier for me in a way." I say and I can see the satisfaction on his face.
"Anytime. Okay i'm gonna go shower myself and get the lemonade stand open. Its prime time weather for it and perfect timing." he says pointing to the crowded beach.
Greyson lives in a loft a few blocks down the road. With a few roommates from the club. He was always so independent it terrified me at times. How he could do things and do great no matter what. I guess that was just his life. His dad was gone alot so I guess he just made it work. He gets out of the jeep, walks around and opens my door. I get out and he places my keys in my hand and starts to walk down the sidewalk. He starts pulling up his hair into a bun and I can see him walking with a purpose now like he was on mission. He didn't have much time.
As I walk into the apartment I take a look at the pile of clothes and my bag of stuff and think how the mighty have fallen. I grab the bag and walk to the bathroom. I undress and walk into the shower feeling the hot water wash away all the nastiness of the past few hours of my misery.