As I sit here on my couch wondering where my husband is. I look at my watch and see that it is now eleven forty and there is no message or call from my husband. I look around the house and see the pictures of our wedding day and our trip to Hawaii. I see the mess I made making dinner and decide to start cleaning it up.
I walk over to the kitchen. I start up the dishes, get the hot water going. I grab all the dirty dishes and decide to collect all of the dishes in the house. I go through our ranch style house getting plates and cups. While on my way back to the kitchen I see lights in the wall and realize that must be Zach.
I finish up the dishes and put the roast in the fridge with the potatoes and green beans. I had even skipped eating the peach pie I made special just for him. Peach pie is Zach's favorite. I figured that would make him happy. Sense nothing else does these days. He has been spending so much time with the guys from the club lately and it's hard to understand the club. They are almost outlaws but just to the point of breaking the law not enough to get arrested for a long time. I was told you can marry in but never can a woman know club information. They are handy to have around though when you need something done.
When the kitchen was picked up and cleaned to the best I could get it I noticed someone standing outside leaning against the oak tree by the patio. It was Greyson. I can see his tattooed arms in the lights of the patio. He had his long dirty blonde hair tied up in a bun. I can just see his back tattoo out of his white shirt. He's in his faded blue jeans and work boots. Yet he wasn't looking at the house which felt weird, he was turned the other direction looking at the barn. He messes with his ring he wears on his left thumb. I can tell because he does it all the time when he is thinking.
I stand there looking at him for a while and think about what could be going on and where Zach could be. Why is Zach not home yet? Why has he completely disregarded my attempt at a romantic anniversary dinner. He knew and so did the guys so he should have been done in time. The one thing the club understands is that family and home life is extremely important. If the lady of the house is not happy no one can be happy. I open up the door slowly and take a deep breath. I slide my clogs on and slip out onto the patio.
"Grey ?" I say low like a whispered question. I walk over to his side and look out at the barn. I see a light on but in the back of the barn not the front. We renovated the barn for Zach before we got married so he would have a place to hang out with the guys.
"Hey Brooks." He says looking at the ground. He has called me Brooks for years. Sense we were seven.
He never liked calling my Brooklyn and said it sounded too girly for me. That's how long we have known each other. I will never forget my first day of second grade. I walked in knowing I knew no one and he walked up and told me his name and said I'll be your friend and we have been ever since. Him and Zach have been best friends forever. They were neighbors when we were little and joined the club like both of their dads did at sixteen. I can tell there is something wrong but with Greyson I have learned to give him time.
"So how long have you been here?" I ask him knowing already.
"Not long." He scratches his neck and stands up straight. " I was out tonight. I umm... need to tell you something."
I see him take a deep breath and then I decide ok something is wrong with Zach. I start to panic. I wrap my white sweater tight around my chest and push my long curls off my face onto my back so I can see him better. I take a deep breath and grab his hand to calm him.
"Grey? What is going on? Is Zach ok?" I ask him slowly.
"Right this second he is but I'm not sure about later tonight." He says making a face like he is being funny but it still came off like he's being very serious. "I went to Wayne's Bar tonight and when I was coming out I saw Zach with someone. He was with a blonde girl I have never seen before. I drove around all night following him to see why and where he was going."
"Okay?" I put my hand on his chin, lifting up his face for him to tell me exactly what I was thinking in my head was really going on. Confirming all my thoughts for the past year. He just stares at me. I let my hand down, looking at the sky for a minute. "Okay, so he's in the barn with her?"
"Yes." he is still looking at me. " he parked on the other road and walked the trail to the barn so the lights wouldn't show he was home."
"How long have you known?" I ask calmly
" Tonight confirmed it. I have been asking him for months. He hasn't been at the club meetings or work in two weeks. The guys were starting to say he will be out and so I figured I would ask him then he blew me off at Waynes and so I was going to let it and him go. Then I saw him. I am sorry Brooks. I would never want to hurt you." I can feel his hurt and anger with every word built.
I start walking slowly straight ahead. It's about a two minute walk and I wanted to take it slow. Greyson followed my lead. What will I see? What will I say? How would I even confront him? Then I realized I lost him a while ago now. He's been gone for so long out of my romantic life that the connection was gone. He stopped coming home at night about four months ago. Started by saying the meetings were getting later and later then work was busy. Then just needing some time with the guys. Then no excuses. My dinner tonight was my last effort after months of trying to make him happy. I see the light get brighter and brighter as I get closer with each step.
I push through the pain and take one step into the barn in the darker part. I can see the basketball hoop and pool table but the back part has a tv and couch with a kitchen and bathroom. I can now hear voices and noises. As I get closer I can make out the sounds. She's mouning and saying fuck yes and hes saying you like that? I step through the door and see it all in its full glory. She has her dress pulled up and he has exposed her breast. Kissing at her neck, ear and lips. Thrusting harder and faster with every mone. He has his pants down just past his cheeks. I can see his muscles through his white shirt. Along with the tattoo we got while on a date when we were eighteen. As soon as I hear him say 'im gonna come.' I look at Greyson.
"I'm glad." I say loud enough he panicked and dropped her on the table he was nailing her on. I walk slowly over to the couch and sit on the arm. I can't even manage a facial expression. I just stare at him. She gets herself together and stands up quickly.
"Who are you?" she says with anger in her voice and I glare at her.
"She is the wife." Greyson threw it out there. "Might want to leave quickly the way you came." She grabs her purse and jean jacket and runs out the door to the path that leads to the lake and then the road.
" How long, Zach?" I ask, still being calm.
" How long what?" he says annoyed I would even ask him that. " Her? Just tonight. I haven't done this before tonight."
" I only ask for two things." I look at my shoes just crossed casually while I sit on the arms of the couch. " I get half the profit of the house selling. Exactly half and I get Peanut when I take my stuff." Peanut was our cat that we got when we moved in together.
"What? You're leaving me? No you left me months ago, this was just the final cut." I stand up and walk over to Greyson. " Can you go to the club and get like fifty boxes for me and help me pack my stuff?"
" Sure." He says and looks at Zach who now looks panicked, pissed and shocked holding his pants up with his hands still.
" WHAT?" Zach says " You're going to just help her leave me? Dude why would you do that?"
"You fucked up. You had an amazing life and didn't want it. She is just as much my friend as you." He brushes a stray hair behind his ear and shrugs his shoulders. "I told you weeks ago now you're going to ruin your life. I just didn't know it was going to be like this."
"What a friend. Did you tell her I was here?" He asks
"Nope I figured it out all on my own." I say turning to prove my point that I'm not going to be walked over. " I will be out by tomorrow. We can put the house on the market next week. I'll call Tammy and have her draw up the papers."
"Wow you had all this planned didn't you?" He asked pointing fingers at me and then running those fingers through his hair.
"No but I have friends too, Zach. I'm not just a doormat like you think I am." I snap a look at him and then start walking to the door. " Grey, can you grab those boxes now and meet me at the house please?"
I started planning how I would pack the boxes and where I would start packing on my way back to the house. I figured I'll do the decorations first then I'll get a uhaul tomorrow for the big stuff and I'll have to find a place to go.
When I got back to the house I grabbed my phone and texted Tammy. Hey I need you to draft up divorce papers please in the morning. I will be in by 2 to sign if they are ready by then.
I go to my bedroom and sit on the bed. I think about my last six years of life. We only lived here for two years. Only been married a year and we talked about having kids and we didn't even get to try for a kid. What could have gone wrong? Did I do something or is it just him? How could he go from being so happy to so miserable in just a year? I sat up and told myself to stop. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop procrastinating. I stand up and pull all my pictures I want off the walls. I go through each room and place them in a paper and set them on my bed. I then move on to my knick knacks. I don't have many, just a few shot glasses, candles and plants.
When I get done making my final pile I hear a knock on the door. I make my way through the house and see Grey in the window. I unlock the door and open it up wide. Brushing my hand through the air in the universal way of saying come on in. I see he really got a lot of boxes and tape along with a pack of markers. Smart thinking I wasn't really thinking that much on that part.
We make our way through the house and he sets the boxes down on the floor next to the couch. Takes his knife out of his pocket and cuts them apart in one smooth movement. I walk back to our bedroom and he follows with a box. In another smooth motion he tapes the box on one side and sets it on the bed.
"Okay so pictures first?" he says pointing to the piles I made. I shake my head yes and start handing them to him.
By the time we get ten boxes packed. I realize I'm supposed to be a bit more sad. I should be at least. I stop and stare at the plate we got as a wedding gift. It was a silver trimmed princess pattern my Aunt Franny bought us. I thought about all the lost holidays and dinners we could have had on these and before I knew it I threw it across the room. It hit the wall and smashed into a million pieces. Greyson stopped what he was doing and looked at me in a panic. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath resting my hands on the counter top.
"Are you okay?" he asks worried
"Yup just needed one little bomb to go off. I'm good now. I'm more pissed off at memories lost than memories made. Ok we have one cabinet left right?" I point to the small cabinet that holds pots and pans.
"Well yeah I'll label this one and set it in the garage with the others and then on to the bathrooms. We have the living room, bedroom and kitchen done. Just have your bed, couch, table set and hutch left. I'll be here in the morning. Well actually like four hours with the uhaul with Paul." He stops moving, picks up the box he just tapes and walks down the hall to the garage stepping on the plate pieces with his boots. I hear the door open and close. Then he is back in front of me. "You know I'm here for whatever you need right?"
"Yeah, I appreciate it, Grey." I am running through everything in my head I need to do in the next few hours. " Tammy."
"What?" he asks
"Tammy I don't know if she got back to me about the papers. I need to also message Victoria and get the house pictures done and listed asap." I look around for my phone and Grayson hands me my phone from the counter where my coffee pot used to live. I take it from his hand slowly and look up at his beautiful blue eyes. I can see he either feels sorry for me or he just is sad. I'm not in the right mindset to tell the two apart. He breaks the eye lock we had and walks to the counter setting up another box taping it and grabbing the pots and pans.
I walk to the other room and call Victoria. I knew it was three in the morning but I didn't care. She answered on the fifth ring with a muffled moan.
"Are you okay? You better be dying." Victoria said.
"Well something is dying but not me, just my marriage." I answered
"What? Wow what happened?" I can tell she is getting out of bed now. "Do you need me?"
"I'm not in the mood to talk about it really but no i just need you to help me get my house listed please asap." I said "Greyson is here, we pretty much have only bathrooms left to pack and we're done. He's bringing me a uhaul to get the rest."
"Greyson? Did you finally sleep with him and realize that is better than the one you married?" She asked. I knew that she never liked Zach. She always said that it wouldn't last with Zach; she said he was too immature.
"No, Zach cheated. Will you help please?" I asked
"Yes, when will the house be cleared?" she questioned
"Four hours I think. I'll need a place to crash too." She lived alone in a pretty big loft apartment in our town. She made good money as a realtor and could afford a good life on her own. She has been begging me to join her for two years now but I just had to be a teacher. I had the need to be a history teacher in our hometown. One more year of school and I will be able to do so. Right now I'm working at a local shop in town that sells clothing, shoes and purses.
"Wow, that was fast." She admits
"Yeah it was quick. Greyson was here so he helped me." I told her.
"Okay i'll be there at noon then. You can stay with me." she offers
"Okay thanks." I say hanging up the phone.
I grab a box and walk to the bathroom. Starting from the top and ending at the bottom just throwing everything in the boxes I can see. By now I don't care, I just want it done. I grab the box, walk to the other bathroom and grab the little things that are in there more for decoration than use.
"Hey, do you want to pack the dish soap and stuff too?" Greyson asks me. I catch his eyes in the mirror. I see the sweat in his hair from lifting all the heavy boxes. He pulls his hair down and runs his fingers through it pulling it back up into a bun. He shaves just the underneath and sides. Which makes him look even more rough. He lifted his shirt and wiped his forehead.I can feel my eyes run up his body tracing his tattoos and muscles. His brown leather belt was worn well and I can tell if he gained just five more pounds it wouldn't fit.
"Yeah sure." I say, shaking my head.
"You okay?" He says, looking at me. "I'm sure you're tired. I can get going if ya like."
"No" I say a bit too quickly. "I would actually like you to stay if you don't mind. I don't like being here alone. It's bad enough I've been here for months alone every night. I can't even remember the last time Zach slept in the bed with me. Or even the last time he touched me honestly." I admitted now more talking to myself then to Greyson.
"Oh." I hear the shock in his voice. " I can't imagine being married to someone and not touching them." I can still feel his eyes on me. I turn around and put my hands on the counter taking a moment to rest again.
" Thank you Grey. I really do appreciate it. I am going to Victoria's to stay after today. She said I can stay with her for a bit." I ran my hand through my hair pulling it behind my ear and my dress strap fell down my arm. I go to fix it but I already feel his fingers doing so and it takes my breath away. I tip my head back and close my eyes. I needed to be touched. I feel him step forward and run his fingers down my arm to my fingertips. He leans into my ear and I can feel his breath. I keep my eyes closed.
" I won't go too far now because I know you're hurting but when the time comes I'm here." He runs his fingers on my neck and into my hair he kisses my cheek and then makes his way to my lips. I still keep my eyes closed and soak in the feeling of being touched and wanted. I forgot what that felt like. I took my hands from the counter and put them on his scruffy beard. I can feel the soft needles on his face with my lips and fingers. Zach never liked facial hair. I now know why girls like it. He breaks our kiss and rests his head on my forehead. "In time, I'm all in Brooks I mean it." He lets me go and I grab his arms and feel him walking away as my fingers run down his arms to his fingers. Wow what a kiss. Where did that come from? He leaves the room I assume to pack the soap and yet my mind is on the feeling left imprinted on my lips and I smile a little bit. I run my finger tip along my lips and then turn and look at my pink lips. Where did that come from?
I finish up the bathroom and then decide I'm going to pack up the stuff I don't want and put them in a box for Grayson to take to the club for Zach since he clearly was not going to do so. It's now four and I'm exhausted. I see Grayson sitting on the couch looking at his phone. I sit down next to him and yawn.
"Tired?" He asks
"Yes, that was a lot to pack up in a few hours. I'm impressed though that we did it. Thank you for helping." I say looking at him and then at the wall. "I am going to pack up a few boxes for you to take to the club if you don't mind."
"Not at all Brooks." He lays his head back and closes his eyes. Then I feel the need to close my eyes.