I was very much drunk and the numbness in my brain was welcome... it was just what I needed after my very stressful day.
And of course, Cleo joined me.
She got back much quicker than I imagined and I had just arrived from one of the dreadful meetings I had today, and I was in a terrible mood. But when she told me what happened and how fucking done she was, somehow we ended up sharing a drink or two... which turned to three and then two bottles of vodka later, here we were.
We were sitting on the floor of my living room, with our backs against the couch as we just stayed there in silence, occasionally passing the bottle so we could take a long sip of the drink.
My throat was already used to the burning sensation of the alcohol, and it was oddly satisfying. It'd actually been so fucking long since I allowed myself to drink this much, I couldn't even remember the last time I got wasted.
This was fun because my thoughts were in slow motion and I was taking a bit longer to speak my mind, but Cleo didn't have a problem understanding me. We had spoken about what mattered before we got drunk though, and I think the fact we simply said 'fuck it' and decided to get wasted was proof enough that we were completely consumed and exhausted.
So my dad and her mother were planning on exposing themselves and revealing they were working together? Was this some kind of reverse psychology shit? Or worse, just a test to see Cleo's reaction because they were indeed suspecting that we knew something?
We discussed many theories and wrote them on my window... and it was a terrible idea to do that while we were drinking, it showed how much of a mess our brains were. So far we believed that it was indeed a test, because my father hadn't mentioned anything about working with Catherine, so maybe he was waiting for me to go question him...
And then he'd know for sure that Cleo and I were talking.
Of course, I wasn't going to talk to him about this or even mention the Horans, but I was going to sneak into his office tomorrow afternoon, it was already decided.
Cleo and I had made the final decision tonight, before we started with the vodka, and I knew my father had a meeting that would last the whole afternoon because Zayn was going to be a part of it as well.
So Zayn would indirectly help me because I asked him to call me as soon as the meeting ended because I'd need him to come over, but I didn't say anything related to the fact I was going to snoop around my father's things in order to find anything... anything at all.
We were desperate and I kept thinking about the red envelope he hid from me, and also the immeasurable amount of information he had stored there, just waiting for me to find it so I could show Amber. Maybe that would help the FBI do their fucking jobs a little faster, I was about to lose my fucking mind.
"You're my unicorn," Cleo spoke up all of a sudden, forcing me to snap out of my thoughts as I glanced sideways at her.
She was playing with the unicorn lighter I'd gotten her and she had a cigarette between her fingers, but she wasn't smoking just yet. I furrowed my eyebrows at her when she didn't elaborate, and she didn't even look at me.
Cleo was so focused on the lighter that she didn't even notice when I offered her the half-empty bottle right after I took another sip, so I nudged her with my elbow.
Her blue eyes were wide when she looked at me, and her cheeks were the cutest shade of pink. She was wearing just a tank top and her underwear, I noticed she didn't like staying dressed when she was intoxicated, she'd always take her pants off first thing.
It was adorable, in my opinion.
I was just wearing my skinny jeans and I had unbuttoned the white silk shirt I was wearing, exposing my chest entirely. And Cleo's eyes lowered to my tattoos before she looked at my face again, finally accepting the bottle as she drank some more.
"What did you say?" I asked her, watching as she placed the bottle on the floor, lighting up her cigarette right after it.
"I said you're my unicorn." She shrugged. "I was thinking about life while I was parked outside my mother's house.. and I thought about us. Like what are we? Are you my boyfriend? We haven't gone out on dates and I can't see us doing that, so I decided that you're my unicorn... we're just unique... mythical."
I tried to hide my smile but it was almost impossible, I had no control over my emotions when I was drunk, and this made me the happiest I had ever felt in my life. I could relate to her words very fucking much, I felt like there weren't words to describe what we were.
I just knew I had never felt like this before... I wanted her all to myself. I loved her, I really did. It's funny how you think you know what love is until you actually experience it.
You just know, it's the type of feeling there's no way to mistake.
"You're my unicorn too," I told her, reaching out my hand to brush my thumb on her cheekbone, and she closed her eyes as she inhaled some smoke. "I'm tired, baby."
"So am I... I've been tired for a while now." She opened her eyes again. "It feels like I've been carrying a thousand pounds on my back, just trying to push me down every fucking day. And now this with my mother... if you don't find anything in your father's office then I really don't know what we'll do."
"We'll run away." I smiled at her, grabbing the cigarette from between her lips so I could smoke a little myself. "Just pack our bags and leave."
"Okay." She chuckled, hugging her knees against her chest. "I like that."
"Good." I returned the cigarette as I looked up at the ceiling to exhale the smoke, and I could feel her intense gaze on me in the process. "Deal then."
The next thing I felt was her fingers on my hair, and I kept my head rested on the couch while she played with my curls, softly running her fingers through my hair. I looked at her and her eyebrows were furrowed, she seemed so focused on what she was doing that it was funny.
"Why are you laughing at me?" She pouted, holding the cigarette between her lips when she pulled her hands away, crossing her arms like a child. "Stop."
"You're so cute." I cackled, stretching out my legs in front of me and watching as she reached out to grab my hand this time, twisting my rings on my fingers until she decided to remove the H gold plated one.
"It's so heavy." She said, trying it on every finger, but her hand was much smaller than mine, even when she put it on her thumb it was still a bit loose.
"I'm sure you know that by now, that's why it leaves a nice visible imprint behind." I winked at her. "I could get you one your size, if you want."
She looked into my eyes again, keeping the ring on her thumb as she inhaled more smoke, never looking away from me.
"We have shit families, but if I had rings with my initials then the H could stand for Harry. Like Cleo and Harry." She said. "Fuck our last names, I honestly wish I could erase every single thing from my life involving my family."
"I agree, but sadly what we've been through is responsible for who we are now. And it's also the reason we're together now. The universe works in mysterious ways, Cleodora." I smiled at her. "We wouldn't have run into each other, fallen in love.. or had the most incredible sex ever."
She laughed, and I knew she really let go because when she laughed genuinely she'd always snort a little at the end.
"It's really good indeed, sometimes I'm worried we'll get addicted." She raised one eyebrow at me, surprising me when she decided to straddle my lap.
I instantly placed my hands on her legs, feeling her soft skin under my touch and tracing her scars as I smoothed my hands up and down her thighs.
"You say it like it's a bad thing, baby," I smirked, squeezing her ass playfully. "There's only one way to find out if we'll get addicted or not, though."
"Which is...?" She leaned closer to me, holding her cigarette between her fingers as she traced my bottom lip with her tongue, and I could taste the smoke and the alcohol in her breath.
"Well, fucking some more," I whispered, keeping my hands on her ass as she chuckled again."What?"
She didn't answer, she carefully tucked my hair behind my ear and just looked at me... and neither of us looked away.
"I'm crazy about you." She said simply after a few minutes of silence, and I flexed my fingers on her ass when she was about to put out her cigarette on the small ashtray we had next to us on the floor.
But I was quicker to grab her wrist, stopping her from doing so and catching her attention. The blue in her eyes seemed darker tonight, maybe it was the dimmed lights or just the fact everything seemed more intense.
Maybe I was just too drunk... or having her on my lap after a very shitty day was just the perfect way to make things better. She was fucking perfect.
"I'm out of my head and you're out of your mind." I smiled at her. "I love you, Cleodora."
"Oh, full name again... am I in trouble?" She mocked my accent, her smile widening at me when I tightened my grip on her wrist. "I love you too, Harry. Now can I put out my cigarette?"
"Sure." I bit my lower lip, letting go of her and using my hands to push my shirt off my shoulders, letting it fall on the floor as Cleo watched me with curious eyes. "Go ahead, baby... hurt me."
She arched her eyebrows, clearly shocked by my request... but I just needed to feel that pain. It hurt so fucking good when she was the one doing it, I couldn't explain how much it affected me. Maybe it was because I loved her, it was the only explanation I could find.
"You want me to burn you?" She sounded surprised, gaping at me before her eyes lowered to my chest.
"Yes... and then I want to try something." I smiled at her. "It's okay, baby. Don't worry about me, I'm hard just thinking about it."
I shifted my hips under her so she could feel I wasn't lying, and the shaky breath that escaped from her lips was enough to make me grow harder. Everything was blurry in my mind... but her.
"I like this." She admitted, and I fucking loved how bold she'd get when she was drunk. "Sometimes I think there's something wrong with us, I mean, I get very fucking wet when you put a knife close to my pussy... and it turns me on to see you like this, begging me to hurt you."
"I won't judge if you won't." I chuckled under my breath, pushing my hair back before I placed my hands on her thighs again. "But what I want to try tonight isn't knife related, sorry to disappoint."
She pursed her lips, seeming confused. Sometimes she looked at me as if she was trying to figure out what I was thinking, and maybe I wasn't as transparent as I thought I was. But it was indeed dangerous to involve knives close to her cunt when I was inebriated, a little too reckless even for me.
And Cleo finally brought her hand closer to my chest, carefully holding her cigarette as she approached, looking deep into my eyes as she pressed it on my chest, right over where the faint scar of her initials were.
"Jesus fucking Christ." I couldn't hold back my deep moan, throwing my head back when I felt it burning through my skin. But she didn't hold it for too long, pulling it away a little sooner than I hoped.
I dug my fingers into her thighs, keeping my eyes closed as I enjoyed the pain spreading slowly from the recent burn, turning into liquid desire running through my body as soon as I felt Cleo's mouth on my neck.
She licked a long stripe from the base of my neck to my jaw, tracing the bulging veins with her tongue along the way, and I was so hard that it was starting to hurt, especially since she was sitting on top of my dick.
"Did you like that?" She whispered in my ear, obviously knowing the answer already. "When did you realize you had a pain kink?"
Her genuine and sudden question right after she was licking my neck made me smile, and I looked into her eyes again after I glanced at the small raw burn mark on my chest.
"It was something that I noticed suddenly. I was seventeen or so. I had a gunshot wound on my thigh and the girl who was sucking me off accidentally grabbed my leg. It hurt a lot but I came instantly." I answered with a little more honesty than I should because Cleo's eyebrows shot up and she seemed very surprised and angry. "Ooh... is my little girl jealous?"
She huffed, refusing to answer me and crossing her arms over her chest, pushing her tits together in the process.
Of course, I got distracted.
I reached out my hands to push her arms away, cupping her breasts and brushing my thumb over her hard nipples, watching as she arched her back for me.
"Stop distracting me." She moaned, threading her fingers in the back of my hair. "I hate imagining you with someone else. Makes me want to slit their throats and bury them in the backyard."
"So fucking romantic." I smiled, pulling her tank top down to expose her tits to me, looking down to watch as I worked my fingers on her nipples, rolling them slowly before I pinched them a little too hard, making her whimper. "You love the pain too, don't you?"
"Only when you do it." She whispered. I lowered my head to bury my face on her chest, leaving wet kisses all over her tits and sucking as many bruises as I wanted, knowing only I would ever be able to see them. Her tight grip on my hair made me moan and I pushed her down on the floor, getting on top of her.
"Oops." She giggled when her arm hit the vodka bottle in the process, making it fall on the floor. "It's been a while since I drank so much vodka like this."
"Like what?" I asked, biting her neck as I grabbed her thighs, forcing her legs to spread for me as I positioned myself in between them.
"Straight." She breathed, circling her hips for some relief when I pressed my erection against her center.
"No, baby, I'm unlabeled." I joked, trying to look serious, but the way she giggled was so fucking contagious that I ended up laughing with her.
"You're so not funny that you're funny." She literally wheezed, holding my biceps as I planted a soft kiss in the corner of her mouth. "You asked me once why I like you once... but you're so narcissistic, why did you ask me that?"
"Because I know I'm no good," I answered instantly, lowering my hand between our bodies so I could reach her underwear.
"I'm no good either." She whispered, moaning my name when I slipped my fingers under the waistband to check how wet she was for me.
"Let's be bad together, then." I teased her, pressing my fingers on her clit and earning a louder moan from her.
I wanted to try something tonight... maybe being drunk would make it easier because the emotions would naturally feel raw. And I wouldn't be embarrassed to try it, I mean, she always loved when I was rough with her, but tonight I wanted to be gentle.
I wanted to fuck her slowly... savor every little detail about it and simply let my feelings lead the way. I just knew it would feel so good.
"Fuck me." She begged me, circling her hips as a silent request, and I didn't waste any time to lower my zipper and push my jeans and underwear down just enough to free my length.
I grabbed my cock and I noticed she was already pushing her underwear to the side, glancing at me with an expectant look in her eyes. I teased her clit with my erection, slowly sliding my cock between her soaking wet folds before I positioned myself on her entrance.
"Look at me," I told her, digging my fingers into her thigh as I pushed my hips forward, looking deep into her eyes as I thrust into her the slowest I had ever done.
Inch by inch, I savored how wet and warm her cunt felt wrapped around my length, nearly pulsating as I got deeper. She adjusted easily with her dripping arousal, opening her mouth to moan but only a shaky breath followed as she mouthed my name.
I could tell she wanted to close her eyes but she kept them open and focused on me as I started moving, fucking her slowly, going all the way in before I pulled out, just to do it again. My cock slipped in and out of her easily, each thrust only made that familiar pressure at the bottom of my spine grow stronger.
"I love you," I whispered, brushing my nose on hers as I continued my slow pace, going deeper inside her this time and pulled back so I could lower my other hand to her stomach, pressing down just a bit so I could feel how deep I was. "Do you feel it, baby? Do you know who my cock belongs to?"
"Me." She moaned, arching her back from the floor. "Fuck, you're all mine."
A chill went down my spine as she whispered her words, and I thrust into her again before I pulled my hand away from her belly, grabbing her thigh again as I angled it in the best way to reach that sensitive spot inside her.
"That's it, baby... daddy's only yours." I groaned when she clenched tighter around me, clearly doing this on purpose.
I was so fucking turned on that my skin was tingling, the mild pain from the burn in my chest was only adding up to the feeling and I crashed my lips against hers to swallow her moans. Her tongue instantly met mine and I rolled my hips even slower, earning a high pitched moan from deep in her throat.
yes She was very fucking close too, I didn't care that neither of us was going to last long, this was already the best sex I'd ever had. Every breath and every moan only made me get closer to the edge, and kissing her was magnifying it all.
"Oh, fuck-" I moaned a little too loudly and she lowered her hands down my back until she groped my ass, pulling me closer to her as she wrapped her legs around my hips. "Fuck, I'm coming."
"So am I, you feel so good." She whispered against my lips, circling her hips to meet my every thrust, and I looked into her eyes again.
I didn't even bother to hold myself back when my orgasm hit me, hearing as she moaned my name and clenched around me again, giving away that she was coming at the exact same time as me. I buried myself as deep as I could go, filling her with short spurts of my cum and moaning into her mouth when I kissed her again.
"Fuck, fuck- Harry, oh god!" She pulled away from the kiss, her jaw went slack as her orgasm clearly hit her much stronger than she expected, and I loved how it lasted longer than mine.
I planted soft kisses on the swell of her breasts, especially over the gunshot scar I had once caused many years ago.
It seemed like a dream now that I stopped to think about it... but now the thought of losing her was actually worse than anything else I could imagine.