"8.30"i read looking at the clock strolling back and forth the living room waiting for the person who'd usually be back at 7 and it was an hour past,appetizing dinner awaiting for us on the table,validating his favorites,being excited to see his reaction.
the door bell rang urging me to spring out of the couch gushing to open the door wide "why are you late?"defensively crossed my arms.
"am i allowed to come in or will i be investigated here?"he raised an eyebrow,i moved away a bit letting him in,waiting for him to answer "i had been to drop maria at her house."he said removing his shoes.
"oh"my heart dropped to my stomach hearing him,nonetheless i started"freshen up,i'll set the dining for dinner." turning around his voice paused my action
"oh,y/n i quite had my dinner with her as she invited me."he said scratching his neck "did you eat?" he asked coming towards me. WOAH, I WAITED TO HEAR THIS SHIT?
"oh, yea,umm i had,i was hungry so i ate,good that you ate outside."instantly loosing my appetite,i lied strolling towards the dining to put the dishes in the refrigerator, he followed me, i picked up the plates i had placed for us,directing towards kitchen.
"y/n the food is untouched, you haven't eaten anything,have you?"he asked looking at the pot filled with food. HAPPY REALIZATION."Y/N,why would you lie?"he asked grabbing my hand.
"i didn't lie jungkook ,i had cereals before you came,so i'm practically full"
"i finished the cereal box this morning, how could you eat?,now don't start with the bullshit that you bought a new one cause i can search for it and i know your lazy ass very well.you would never go and buy one yourself" his voice strong and still 'shit' i mumbled.
"were you waiting for me?you could have just called me and asked me to come." he asked looking straight into my eyes.i was irritated by now.
"you never go out with anybody jungkook,why would i ask you today?"my voice cracked a bit at the last,i took all my strength to make it just for him,it was all according to his preference,i should have just slept."just don't bother and go back to your home, i have something to do alone."i blurted out having no idea what i had to do,oh yeah maybe stupidly cry over nothing.
"y/n what's the matter with you? is something wrong? you acted wired while you left abruptly in the afternoon"he cooed softly intervening our hands.
"why would you care?you should be spending time with your new friend.i want to stay alone so leave."i mumbled dragging my hand back.
"y/n look at me,are you perhaps jealous?" he blurted out.i whipped my head at once. WAS I?
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"are you perhaps jealous?"i blurted out,'fuck did i mess up?'i thought as she whipped her head upwards at me.
"huh?,what?,jealous my ass,i don't get jealous i loose interest."she flipped her hair turning her face away,her voice giving up,totally not supporting her attitude,i was confirmed she was jealous.WOW!,i like this feeling,i feel as if two men dancing inside me out of happiness.
"okay,let's have dinner i'm hungry."i announced as i was in actual fact hungry and also wanted my jealous chicken to have her food.
"you don't have to push yourself for me to eat,i'll eat alone,you should get going."she said dragging her foot back to the kitchen
"there's everything that is my favorite on the table moreover i had a diet vegetable bowl as she was on her diet, jeez i haven't eaten anything less tasteful than that in my life."i said scrunching my face remembering the taste.making y/n crack a small genuine smile,this was the perfect time to brighten her up
"y/n remember that no one can ever replace you,you don't have to be jealous okay?" i took a stand to my words making her face me,she cracked her bright smile but instantly covered it up with an 'i don't care look'while mumbling"i wasn't jealous"i laughed at the silliness. we eventually had our dinner talking laughing just like other days and slept the night peacefully with each other.
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"DO IT!,DO IT!,just fucking kiss her,for once dude just fucking kiss her"i squealed looking at the bright screen,the male lead was taking a whole decade to kiss the female lead
DING DONG. UGH!
"hey,how was the practice?"appealing to the returned back juvenile,i grabbed the bag he was carrying
"tiring,exhausting,stressful"he said as he plopped out on the couch,i crouched down removing his shoes.
"Damn,i missed the scene"i mumbled looking at the screen where the leads were giggling being cringe lovey-dovey.
"ahh-ha?"he lifted his head up clueless.
"nothing,come up with me"i said as i pulled him out of the uncomfortable couch. escorting the heavy ass man-bunny upstairs,plopping him down on the bed after reaching my bedroom,i exhaled deeply.damn this guy is heavy
"ahh,humm,,hmm..,y/n, right there,that feels so good."he threw his head back
"right here?or should i move little up?"
"no just right there,ahh,that's pleasuring."he moaned
"koo,i'm just massaging your leg,people would get a wrong idea listening to your words and sounds."i whispered at the end,as i pressed my thumbs on his sole massaging, advancing towards the heel later shifting up to toes,i continued pressing on his tensed up muscles, erstwhile shifting to another foot i did the same,the entire time he moaned satisfied.
"well,i don't mind turning people's ideas real"he said to receive a whack on his knee.
"turn around now."i said as i stood up
"woah,you seem to be ready right now,should i strip?"he gave me a naughty grin,smacking his butt i stated
"you and your dirty brain."i controlled my smile biting on my lip.
"i don't have a dirty mind i have a sexy imagination plus having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting"i rolled my eyes at his cliche quotes.
"stay right here,i'll be back in 2"he hummed back,bringing all the necessities to the table, "koo,remove your shirt for me"i said in a low voice,thinking thrice to not appeal in a wrong way, but thanks to the all-mighty he did as instructed without sounding a word.placing the hot water pack on his neck part,positioning my thumbs at the top of the back just below the neck and on either side of the spine "i'm starting"i cooed,as i soft pressed through all the tensed muscles,later applying oil on my hands gliding my hand in long strokes he hummed satisfied,smiling at the boy baby,i slightly added some pressure kneading soft circular motion,i was afraid i would put much pressure leading to disturbance,consequently i went soft.
the young man on the bed was very silent through the process,bending a little i found his lips parted pouting,eyes closed as he breathed calmly,shifting to the other side of the bed after wiping out the oil from my hand,i leaned brushing his soft locks observing his face,i could spend my whole life looking at this beautiful well structured man-baby,being all manly outside was a small,sweet,cute boy inside,who would get excited at little things probably the most endearing feature about the lad.i guess i like him,but this is all stupid as for a fact i know he doesn't feel the same.
fluttering his eyes open at the touch,"staring at others is not a nice etiquette,has no one thought you about that?"he muttered grumpy shooting me with my own words. 'eyes are gifted to stare at beautiful things'
"i wasn't staring at you"i sat straight maintaining my posture swallowing up my thought.
"sure"he said sitting up,suddenly it was all black i gasped.
"relax,it's just a power out,a notice which was sent,it was yesterday's heavy rain which has caused few technical problem,i presume it will be out for an hour"he said,
"oh,shit my phone is almost dead,where's your's?" i asked him looking at mine.
"i'll go get the candles,don't move"he said walking away with his phone
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"here we go"i said lighting up the last and 5th candle around the bed in the room,it's scent filling up the room leisurely
"are you aware as to why people have candle light dinner?" she nodded no,her eyes gloomy"because people's eyes glow from the candle light making it more shiny and attractive."i said looking at her lips covered with red gloom,looking luscious,tempting me to taste
"cool,that's a romantic thought."she smiled understanding biting on her lower lip.damn i swear i wanna taste that.
"my body feels much relaxed now."i rotated my arms shaking away the thought of her lips from my mind "how are you so good at it?i was almost drowsing"i pulled her by her leg adjusting her upright in front of me,her eyes aligned with mine,i traveled my eye to capture her clearly,
she smiled,"i'm good at everything,the wife material,you-know ---"i slowly lost track on her words,my ears went numb,all i could capture were those,plum,pink sketched lips,dancing against each other,pushing and pulling,stretching gorgeously,the candle light making her skin glow in the dim reddish-yellow flames,her appearance as pretty as a picture,graceful bouncing hair laying alongside her shoulders,velvety eyelashes drumming against one another,those dainty nose,glossy skin complexion,wasp-waist clutching onto the material,MAN,i was going crazy,she was beauty in all my aspects,the marks on her body covered up with all her charm,her eyes growing big with each words.i just wanted her touch,touch to redeem my feelings,my lips wanting to feel the other soft ones,loosing the grip,my hands moved up to her lips under my mind's control.fuck so soft.
"koo?"she looked confused
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"koo?" i asked confused as he placed his finger on my lips staring at them.
without another word,jungkook pulls me to him and claims my lips with his.his lips soft on mine he kisses me with so much intensity and neediness,i was stock-still,progressing everything,unlike my mind was only on his soft lips,moving alone on mine,the tingly feeling in my stomach erupting by passing seconds,i wanted more,i wanted him more,that was all the thought in my head.
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my mind was struggling pleading itself,"please respond,please respond y/n,please kiss me back,plea-"my heart beat fastened,a beat after beat running at a high speed,she had responded,she kissed me back her lips moving against mine,my eyes closed tight,restraining the taste,she pulled me close by my neck, her hands crossed around my neck,her lips deepening in mine,moving her lips,softly she climbed on my lap encircling her legs behind me,i held her hips for her support in one,as i caressed her waist in another,engaging her fingers with my hair,she pulled me closer making her heaving chest meet mine,her lips danced against mine,moving and gliding slowly alongside each other,there was no lust,the love which we had hid for each other was all showing it's form,i was lost,i was done for life,
i swear when our lips touched i could taste the next sixty years of my life,i was sure of her feelings now.
deepening the kiss she took the lead to insert her tongue,she went rough taking me off guard,it took me seconds to comprehend my move,but nonetheless i gave into what she wanted.
she had given me the hint to move forward,she had let me touch without opposing,i wanted to take her consent but also didn't want to disturb the mood,holding her up i made her lie on the bed,her actions turning slow by passing time,making me nervous and confident at the same time,i wanted to show her every little thing i feel for her,i wanted to show her my love and how she should be treated,i wanted her to feel safe with me,i wanted her to look at me as the man of her life,i wanted to be that man. she had stopped kissing me back,her eyes still closed,her chest heaving up and down,i moved onto her neck leaving soft kisses,sucking searching for her spot.
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i felt him retorting back to his place,i didn't want that,i wanted more of him,i wanted to devour him,his taste,
pressing my lips hard,i parted my lips,making him his way,pushing myself to him,sliding onto his lap,silkily gliding my hands around his neck,grabbing his hair i pulled him to me kissing him softly.i was lost,i wanted him,i wanted this,but this doesn't feel bad,it's something good,he is not forcing on me,he is still keeping it soft,i don't feel his touch bad,too soft and caring,i want them more,i like this feeling,DAMN,i'm loosing my mind,this guy is the death of me,i deepened the kiss biting down on his lips,i slipped my tongue finding him more,all i wanted was him to touch me with all love,make me feel good,to love me like no other, to love me just like i do
I LOVE HIM. SHIT!i love him,i smiled unnoticed through the kiss.i was in the seventh heaven.
"you don't deserve love,you are just to be treated like a doll,USE AND THROW."he sounded,my EX sounded behind my mind,he always told that. i felt jungkook's hand slid inside my shirt
"no one would love you for real,they would just come to use you just like the whore you are for me."he sounded again. was he right?,is must be true,but jungkook?he can't do that right?or will he?,by now jungkook's hand was resting on my bra strap,i had slowed down my pace
NO,i shouldn't give myself again,jungkook is my bestfriend i shouldn't love him,i can't loose him,i don't want to.i stopped my moment,still eyes closed,his lips working on my neck. i pushed him away.
====================
i was taken a back when she'd pushed me back,we were separated,i felt disappointment fill through my body,did i cross my line?,didn't she like what i did?,was she uncomfortable?what happened?i stared at her for a minute emotions changing every passing second,my nerves started growing heartbeats heard in the room.
"y/n?"i held my hand front in a try to hold her's
"no jungkook."she shifted back,i felt a pang in my heart i was confused.
"what happened bun?,is something wrong?"i couldn't think of anything else.
"jungkook,you should go."she said facing away.my heart ached at her reaction.
'hey,did i do anything wrong,i'm so sorry,but can you at least let-"
"no koo,i'm sorry,i don-t i-i-i swear"she was having hard time to speak,her eyes all over the but me.
==========
"no koo,i'm sorry,i don't i-i-i swear"i stuttered his eyes guilty,it was killing me from inside,i just wanted to hold him and tell him that it was not his fault,he was never at fault,it was always me,i crossed my line,i should have never developed those feelings,but all i could do was stutter and not look in his eyes,i couldn't find words to justify myself,it was all bright at once as the power came back.
a gush of discomfort,stinging pangs cut across through my heart looking at his glistened eyes,i could tell he was dejected about everything that happened,he stood looking down straight into my eyes,i felt ashamed under his gaze,
"jungkook,i-"i moved towards him in a try to hug him
"y/n i'm sorry if i crossed my line or if you felt uncomfortable,i was just so into it,i'm sorry,i shouldn't have done without your consent"before i could speak he held my hand,i was trying to form words.
"jungkook,please let's not do this,i-i don't know what happened, i don't want to loose you koo,i don't want to ruin our friendship."
"hey,calm down we would never loose one another,i like you and i'm sure about it"squeezing my hand slightly he smiling a bit,his eyes filled with hopes,he continued,
"y/n if you are afraid that i am not sincere,i swear i'll prove you wrong,i like you,heck i love you more than anything from the day i met you,i realized it late but i'm glad i realized that it's you, i love you y/n,i love you the most.please trust me give me a chance,give us a chance."i had to settle my feelings.i was silent all the time,my nerves getting best of me,my mind was playing all it's game with me at once and i was not a great player.
"y/n do you not love me?,do you not feel the same as me.please don't lie,we both know the truth" he held my cheeks making me to look at him,his words felt genuine just like his actions, everything was blur in front of me,bundle of emotions erupting in me,i was going crazy,mad at myself each passing second,i didn't know what was right for me
"no jungkook,i'll just hurt you,i will hurt myself,eventually i'll be left alone again,he was right i don't deserve to be loved,you care for me so much but i can't reciprocate the same feeling back to you,i can never make you happy."i crouched down crying."jungkook,please let's forget this,let's act like this never happened."i blurted out desperately.the last thing i wanted now was him to leave me alone.i was a mess
"what do you mean by forget?i did that because i'm sure about my feelings,don't act naive when you have the same feelings,forget your past for once and come to me,trust me once for fuck's sake y/n."he was angry,his tone coming out harsh,i knew i deserved this."i can't forget anything that happened,i'm sure that you like me too,that kiss was not something you would never do if you didn't feel the same towards me."he sighed crouching down against me,
"y/n i know this was unanticipated,neither i wanted to let you know about my feelings this way,even though i regret this situation,'m happy that you know what i feel towards you,please give this a thought,i'll wait for you,i will always do.but please don't let your past control your present."he pulled me to a warm hug,placing a peck on my temple,i felt worse for breaking his heart this way.
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she was sobbing,crying her eye's out,turning it red,i felt faulty awful,looking at her,i should have held myself for her to be brave,i could have taken this slow,made her understand,but now i was the reason she looked miserable,i never wanted to see her that way,i wanted to give her own time to think out as well as i knew,if i stood there for a minute more i would break down just like her,all my happiness few minutes ago had turned itself upside down.but still i had faith in myself and her.
"y/n i'll leave now,you should rest a bit"i said as i let her free from the hug,she clutched onto my shirt wrinkling it,nodding her head furiously as a no,her eyes were filled with tears,begging not to leave,but every move of her was killing me,i knew for a fact that i would make the surrounding even more worse.thus i slid out her grip making my way out,leaving back the sobbing girl alone.
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i edited this like thousand times.sorry for being inactive:(
stay happy and safe:)