Love You In My Mind // Sirius...

By toomuchofafangal

566K 15.6K 6.7K

Freya loves Sirius Black, but is too scared to tell him. * * * * Can I just love you in my heart, love you... More

Prologue
Characters And Aesthetics
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Epilogue
About The End (Spoiler Warning!)
Playlist (Spoiler Warning)
New Spin-off Story

Chapter 1

17.5K 377 211
By toomuchofafangal


Aleya and I burst into laughter, and when Lina tried to shush us, we just had to giggle even louder.

"This will forever not be not funny," I wheezed, and Aleya laughed so hard that her laughter wasn't even audible anymore.
Lina couldn't suppress her grin either as she looked at us with twinkling, dark green eyes. "I mean, I still don't get why you thought that was a good idea."

Aleya nearly choked on her fair blond curls while doubling over in laughter, almost hitting her head on the table in the process. "Me neither! I told you it wouldn't work!"

I almost died from suffocation, I was laughing that hard.

A high but determined voice interrupted our laughter, and the giggles died down-although we still really struggled not to burst into laughter again.

"Is there something funny you want to share with the class, Miss Dunchester, Miss Tygris, Miss Smith or Miss Fletchly?"

We blushed but still couldn't stop grinning.
I swallowed. "No Professor Flitwick, we're sorry."

Aleya bit her lip and I knew that she was thinking the same thing. Would Professor Flitwick even remember the incident that had happened in our fourth year and still had us in laughing fits?
Probably not. Back then, I had only laughed and walked to Madame Pomfrey.
The woman had been mildly surprised when a girl with a quill stuck in her palm had walked in, still grinning as if in shock.

But no, I hadn't been in shock. It had just seemed funny to me back then and still did now.
Aleya had had a bad day, and I'd wanted her to do something that would get some steam out. So I had held up some parchment and told her to use her quill to slam a hole that would tear the parchment apart.
I mean, she had hit the parchment, but at a spot where my hand had been holding it.

It was not funny to anyone but us. So we couldn't exactly retell the story in front of the class now.

Professor Flitwick sighed when he saw our amused expressions. "Have you at least managed to make the quills dance?"

And I just burst into laughter again- I couldn't help it! But mere seconds ago, my dancing quill had been so close to poking Aleya and it just reminded us all of this old incident.

I couldn't help my behaviour. I was a teachers pet, the proud Ravenclaw that I was, but even my urge to uphold my image couldn't stop me from being a natural crackhead. I rather was a crackhead than a striver, as long as I still managed to uphold my grades.

Valerie answered Professor Flitwick's question, sitting up straight and putting on a serious face. But since I was sitting next to her, I could see how she bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from grinning. "We did, Sir."

Professor Flitwick's reply let the laughter die in my throat. "Alright, so one of you can help Miss Meadowes over there. Miss Tygris?"

I instinctively glanced behind me, where the four Gryffindor girls were sitting, already looking at us because of the laughing fit we'd just thrown.
I forced a smile back on my face.
"Of course."

I stood up and felt as if every eye was on me as I walked towards the Gryffindors.
I was inwardly panicking and my hands were trembling a little bit, as so often when I was nervous. I wasn't good at talking to people, always scared that I'd annoy them, so I never spoke up first. I didn't dare to talk to strangers, especially when they were Gryffindors.

Sure, I'd known them for six years, but I had never talked to any of them, aside from Lily, who I occasionally exchanged a few words with at the Prefect meetings.
Gryffindors made me feel uncomfortable because they were these easy-going and super popular people, especially our year, with the infamous marauders. And popular people never talked to me, I was way too socially awkward for that.
Funny that the Sorting Hat had actually considered putting me in Gryffindor.
I wouldn't have found friends, that's for sure.

I let out a relieved breath when I reached Dorcas Meadowes' table without tripping. The girl with her jet black afro hairstyle smiled at me nicely, and I smiled back.
The girl next to her smiled even brighter. Marlene McKinnon, a beautiful blond girl with chocolate brown eyes. Everyone liked her.

"Hi Freya," Dorcas greeted.

"Hi," I replied, pulled a spare chair to their table and sat down, slightly tense.

"What was so funny?" Marlene started a conversation, with a curious expression on her pretty face.

I blushed. "Oh, an insider. It's not even that funny."

Marlene nodded, the smile not fading from her lips.

"So...," I cleared my throat nervously. "Professor Flitwick said I should help you?"

Dorcas blushed a little and tilted her head embarrassedly. "Yes... Charms isn't exactly my strongest subject. And Marlene couldn't help me either. All she has managed to do so far was making her quill shiver."

Marlene shrugged, still grinning. "It's still a start."

Dorcas eyed our small teacher. "I knew that I might need help, but I didn't expect him to get a Ravenclaw to help me." She looked a me and smiled sheepishly. "You must think I'm stupid..."

I couldn't help but snort. "Do you think I'm smart just because I'm in Ravenclaw?"

Marlene and Dorcas both wore the same confused expressions.
"I mean, yes?" Marlene raised an eyebrow.

I let out a short, genuine laugh. "Well, that might be the case for some of us, but I'm definitely not eager to study all the time. I have absolutely no street knowledge and the only books I read are fictional. I sometimes can't even solve the riddle to get into our common room. I'm simply very quick at remembering things and connecting the dots, so I suppose that's how I got into Ravenclaw."

Dorcas blinked. "Huh. I didn't expect to hear that from you, of all people."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Marlene chuckled and started to fiddle with the quill in her hands. "Well, you've been head of classes for three years. When it's not Lily or Lina, it's you."

I blushed. I always got super embarrassed when people talked about my grades or wanted to know them. I honestly felt bad for getting such good grades with such small effort.
"Although you won't believe me, most of it is luck," I mumbled, trying to hide my blush with my long hair. "I'm actually a procrastinator and don't know how I get these grades. I'm good at remembering the lessons, I think? And I kind of know my way with words, I suppose, because the teachers seem to like my essays."

Dorcas grinned. "I'm kind of jealous now. I want to have luck, too!"

Well, I'd rather not be lucky at school but lucky at life instead, I thought, but didn't dare to say out loud.

I cleared my throat and pulled out my wand from my robes. "So, Dorcas, would you mind demonstrating for me?" I gestured towards the quill lying in front of her.

Dorcas sighed but nodded and positioned her wand.
"Saltandi!"

When nothing happened, she let out an exhausted groan.

"Did you think of anything while saying the incantation?" I asked. I didn't know what else to do, as she'd pronounced the spell correctly and did the right wand movement.

"I sort of thought of a dancing quill," Dorcas admitted.

I let out a quiet relieved sigh. Thank Merlin, I knew what to tell her and didn't have to look like a complete fool.
"Don't. Many people think that thinking of the goal will help with the spell, and while that is the case or a necessity for some spells, most of the time that doesn't help. You have to clean your head and not think of anything for the majority of charms. That's the difficulty."

Dorcas smiled brightly and Marlene nudged her shoulder in an encouraging manner. "Try again, then! You'll do it!"

And it actually worked. The quill didn't dance for the average ten seconds, but the two seconds were enough to make Marlene cheer and Dorcas clap her hands excitedly. "Merlin, it worked! Thank you, Freya, thank you so much!"

I grinned. Her happiness was contagious.

"What happened over here?" The male voice made our heads turn.

James Potter stood there, a little piece of parchment in his hands. "Why are we celebrating?"

Marlene gestured towards her still beaming friend. "Dorcas managed the charm! Maybe she'll even get an 'Exceeds Expectations' this year!"

Dorcas nodded giddily. "All thanks to Freya!"

That made James look at me. He smiled and gave me a little wave with his free hand. "Wow, thank you, you saved us a lot of embarrassment!"

"Hey!" Dorcas laughed and slapped his arm lightly. James pretended to be hurt but started to laugh as well.
"You know I'm just kidding. But I'm proud of you, Dor. And respect to you, Freya, Flitwick didn't really know how to help her all these years. She managed the spells, but with great difficulty and an unhealthy amount of practice. So thank you."

I blushed again. I couldn't take compliments very well, especially not from a boy.
I didn't know why, that was just the way it was, and I hated it.
"I had the same problem in our first year. My sister told me that little but important piece of information."

Noone replied to that, only Dorcas nodded, obviously still thrilled. I instantly regretted that I had spoken up.
Noone had asked, so why did I give them information they weren't even interested in?
Stupid, naive Freya!

"What've you got there, James?" Marlene pointed at the parchment in James' hand.

He looked at it as if he'd forgotten that it had been there. "Erm... I... It's for Lily. I know she won't accept it when I give it to her, so I thought that maybe you two could.... You know. Give it to her?"

It was funny to see James Potter, one of the famous marauders, so flustered. His cheeks were Gryffindor red and he ruffled his already messy hair.
It was an open secret that James Potter was in love with Lily Evans. He'd started to crush on her in our first year already, and I thought it was cute that his crush had not subsided, on the contrary. I admired how he kept shooting his shots and complementing her, although Lily always turned him down pretty harshly.
That must be really hard, and I knew that I could never fight for someone as much as James was fighting for Lily. I wasn't that brave.

Marlene sighed. "You know that she burns your letters even if she gets them from us."
Dorcas shared the same sympathetic expression, but held out her hand and hastily added "But we'll still do it, though! It's worth a try."

James sighed, trying to hide his dissapointment.
"Thank you."

With that, he gave us a last smile and returned to his own table, where Sirius Black was already waiting for him.

I must say, I expected this lesson with the Gryffindors to go worse. If I annoyed them, they didn't show, and they were really nice and grateful for my help.

But still, I only completely relaxed again when I returned to my dorm mates for our Defense Against the Dark Arts class.
The last class for today, the second Monday after our return from the holidays.

We didn't get much homework today, so if I did those directly after class, I could continue this new muggle book before dinner and the prefect meeting afterwards.

Yeah, a quiet afternoon with a book, sitting on the window seat in the cozy Ravenclaw common room. I could look on the grounds of Hogwarts, wearing my favorite jumper and maybe drinking some hot chocolate.

That sounded like the perfect way to spend a Monday afternoon.

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