Emmitt hadn't attended Tuesday or Thursday's Anatomy class, but I copied those lecture notes for him while I worked a pretty quiet library shift both days. James avoided me like the plague, which I was completely fine with given his misunderstanding about our date.
Despite what happened in the shower between me and Logan, we hadn't talked much about where our relationship officially stood, but I was okay with that. After the hot mess that was my morning-after apology, a giant weight had been lifted off my conscience. We definitely had some wrinkles that we needed ironed out, plus possibly a new jealousy issue between us, but now wasn't the best time for another heavy discussion about what we both wanted.
Friday's perfect though. We can talk about it during our date.
I knew for certain that I wanted whatever Logan had to give me. He'd previously said he wanted 'all of it,' and I was nervously onboard with that idea. My self-preservation and over-thinking habits hadn't completely died, but there was no one I trusted more. So much of Logan was the same as my first love, but he was more grown up and mature. His dedication towards a few close relationships with family and friends, even long distance, flooded my heart with warmth.
Between extended football practices, which included his ice baths afterwards, and classes, Logan had enough pressure on his shoulders right now. In a move he probably hadn't noticed, I dropped all teasing and flirting with him, including how I slept on the sofa. I only did it to give him uninterrupted nights of sleep, not that he needed much help before he passed out into a coma-like sleep just thirty minutes after he ate dinner.
In an incredibly sweet move, Logan still walked me to both of my first classes. Once he downed his smoothie, he held my hand in his along the way. We'd gotten a few whispers and pictures taken in the process, especially in Anatomy class, but he showed no reaction other than gripped my hand tighter.
I took full advantage of the solitude around the library's information desk area and downloaded the statistical software on my lap per Dr. Pearce's instructions. While I ran the example code she provided, I had no idea what it actually accomplished. Since tumbleweeds practically rolled down the aisles between the stacks, I finished all my other classes' homework and reading assignments and headed out.
Charlie had a post-practice PT team meeting in prep for their first away game of the season, so we'd rescheduled yoga to another night and I went back to the apartment after work. Ninety minutes after I'd finished tonight's dinner and leftovers for tomorrow's lunch, then showered, Logan arrived home. By how he dropped his practice bag in the front closet with a thud and a sigh, plus one look at his heavy-lidded eyes and slumped shoulders, I knew he was completely exhausted.
Poor guy.
"Hey," I greeted him and moved my backpack off the dining room table chair where I'd set it. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just a long day," he confessed, then turned towards the kitchen. I stepped over and intercepted his path, then pointed at the living room sofa.
"Go relax, I'll warm up some dinner," I assured him. He put up zero resistance, just groaned slightly when he sat on the sofa.
"This is way nicer than the previous one." I heard him through the kitchen wall while I climbed up on the counters and pulled down two plates and glasses.
Why are they all on the top shelf now? Short person problems.
I climbed down and called back as I plated his food, just a lemon-rosemary chicken and mixed baked vegetable tray I'd left in the oven so it stayed warm. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem like you need to rest."
"Just tired." He frowned at his own words while he sat at the dining room table, where apparently he'd moved to, as I carried his plate and glass of water to him. "Tomorrow's practice is lighter before the game anyways."
"Sure you still won't be too sore?" I asked with a small smile.
My teasing only earned me a set of raised eyebrows. "Exactly what do you have in mind?"
"Nothing strenuous, unless you want it to be," I tossed back at him, which he returned with a smirk and slight glint of his eye.
"Thanks for dinner." He dropped his fork on a completely clean plate, compared to my not-yet-touched one. "This week's been insane."
"Do you want to push back our date?" I dropped all teasing tones, grabbed his plate, took a repeat trip to the kitchen, then slid another serving in front of him. "I have something fun planned. You'll be... blown away, I promise. But if you want to go to the pep rally instead, we can."
"Absolutely not." His eyebrows lifted at me and he looked deeper in thought while he chewed a few bites. "Do I get to know what we're doing?"
"Nope." I moved my bag off the other seat, heavy with all my completed homework for this week, then sat down next to him. With one elbow on the table, I propped my chin in my palm and took a few bites.
"How will I know what to wear then?" He teased with a glint in his eye. "Because unless you tell me otherwise, I might opt for nothing."
"I remember that being your preference." My shoulders shook lightly as I remembered that was Logan's go-to response whenever I'd asked him while we'd dated. "Comfortable clothes, not going anywhere fancy. Your post-game suit is overkill."
"I'd wear the monkey suit for you," he offered in a soft voice, before his eyebrows wiggled suggestively and his lips curled upwards into a smirk. "Or my birthday suit."
"You're shameless." I smiled despite his goofiness. "I picked up a two-hour shift at the library tomorrow afternoon, so would you mind meeting me there at four pm? We'll need your truck since I assume you don't want to drive my car."
"Sure." His eyes studied me like they searched for a further clue but I just smiled, then hinged over and emptied my Anatomy notebook, then filled in my Statistics and Nutrition Science books and folders and groaned at how heavy my bag was when I shifted it aside.
"Hey, speaking of Anatomy... We need to meet with our project group, preferably sooner than later," I reminded him. "Emmitt wasn't in class this week though."
"I haven't seen him yet, not for lack of texting him," he replied in a quiet voice. "I only stopped at the Zeta house Tuesday since they said he was there."
"They probably would say that, desperate... Nevermind. I'll text Emmitt," I offered and pulled out my phone.
me: Hope you're recovering okay. We need to meet for our Anatomy class project, let me know when you're free and I'll come with snacks.
I set my phone down, but it quickly chimed with a response. I ignored the 'Figures' that the peanut gallery next to me grumbled and frowned at Emmitt's response.
Emmitt: Aww... you worried about me, Ellie?
Emmitt: You can come over here to take care of me. Sexy nurse outfit optional.
"Seriously?" I muttered at my phone screen, then typed up a response.
"Do I even want to know what he said," Logan's dry voice hit my right ear.
"Probably not," I replied as I typed my response.
me: Everyone's worried, you were injured. Sounds like you're on too many painkillers if you confuse me for a sexy nurse. Sorry, I'll pass.
me: Also worried about my Anatomy grade, so let's get together with Logan and Amy.
Emmitt: Always available for some one-on-one anatomy studying.
me: Sounds like you're feeling better. Hope to see you in class next week.
"He didn't say anything about getting together." I frowned at his usual dirty responses. "Or even if he'll be in class."
"As far as I know, he hasn't reached out to the team yet." Logan sighed. "But Charlie said at practice today that she heard he's out of the hospital."
"Guess that's good." I searched Logan's eyes for his reaction as I said, "We should go over there on Sunday. Since he missed class, then I'll give him a copy of my notes."
A definite hint of annoyance flashed over his eyes. "Ellie, I'm sure he's fine," he assured me. "I'm probably also the last guy he wants to see, especially the day after a game."
"Okay, well I'll stop over with Charlie after yoga class on Thursday then. You're welcome to come or not, doesn't bother me."
"If you wear what you had on last week to the football house, then it bothers me," he spoke in a sarcastic tone, but his eyes looked dead serious.
"Good point," I smiled again since that look was definitely for Logan's eyes only. "Guess you and Wes will just have to come with us."
"Fine," was his only grumbled response.
"If you haven't scaled up and down the peak of Mount Adonis yet, then don't call me so early," a familiar, and very grouchy, voice groaned at me.
With a quick privacy check glance, I cupped one hand around my phone and murmured, "How about a blow job?"
"I'm listening," Harper replied right away. "Despite you calling me at the ass crack of dawn."
"It's..." I paused, checked the time on my phone, then stated the obvious, "Nine-fifteen on a Friday morning."
In between my Friday morning classes, instead of my usual note-recopying after my Stat Methods course, I'd called Harper from my seat on a worn, wooden bench inside PCar Hall. The gray, dreary weather typical in Seattle hung throughout the sky this morning. Rain pattered softly against the window behind my head but I banked on how the weatherman said this afternoon and evening would be crisp and clear in time for my date with Logan.
Date with Logan...
Despite how I'd asked him and hoped he liked what I'd planned, I couldn't deny how just the words 'date' and 'Logan' in my mind sent tiny flutters through my stomach and curled up the corners of my mouth. My free hand's palm pressed into one of my warm cheeks and I rolled my lower lip under and held it between my teeth. I couldn't have ever imagined before this year started that I'd have even seen Logan, let alone going on a date.
After we were already physically intimate too.
We're not very good at that initial date part.
Despite the early call time, I wanted Harper's advice on the last part of my date with Logan tonight but also a question nagged me from the back of my mind all week.
After her nightly recap, apparently.
"Exactly," she groaned again. "Fuck, last night must have gotten away from me. Worth it though."
"You sound tired," I mused at the thick rasp in her voice. "Do I want to know?"
Saying Harper wasn't a morning person was beyond an understatement. She never took a single class prior to ten am, definitely favored afternoons, and her late-night activities...
No comment.
After a few rustled sounds mixed with curse words, her voice sounded just as tired as I assumed she looked when she admitted, "You probably don't want the details."
"Crib notes then," I relented, unsure if I even wanted those.
"You would've been impressed," she started before a yawn stifled her words. "I tried to go to the library."
"What do you mean tried?" I inwardly kicked my curiosity since there was always only one direction this setup went with Harper, straight into the gutter.
"I ran into a vending machine distributor who was in the building," she replied like I had any idea what that meant. Before I asked for clarification, she offered, "Let's just say he definitely serviced my -"
"I got it," I cut her off and closed my eyes since these were definitely dirty details about a random hookup. "Just tell me one thing, was it worth it?"
"My vagina says definitely," she replied right away.
Of course it does.
"Will you see him again?" I asked like I hadn't also known that answer, but still asked in case she ever surprised me.
Even quicker, she spat out, "Absolutely not."
Okay then. No judgement.
"Now that I've shared what you probably didn't want to know, how's life?" She asked with another yawn. "Did you at least use Logan junior yet?"
"No!" I brushed my fingers through my hair, then tucked a stray lock behind each of my ears. "Logan, the real one, and I have been talking a lot -"
"Of course you have." She half-laughed, half-snorted, a sound I hadn't known she made. "I expected nothing more, but you really need less talking, more fucking. Trust me, you'll feel better."
"Talking through things is what you do in a..." I rolled my lower lip under the word that stopped on the tip of my tongue.
Despite what happened in the shower, technically we're not in a relationship.
At this point, I knew the answer to the question if I wanted to be in a relationship with Logan, who'd called me his 'endgame,' if I needed his side explained any clearer. The fact he'd blurted that out when I was upset, a word-vomit habit he still had from when he dated, made his admission that much sweeter and my lack of an equal response reciprocated to him that more bitter.
After I mentally facepalmed myself for how long I'd needed before I reached a decision, I definitely knew what I wanted.
I want my endgame.
"Relationship," Harper filled in my missing word. "Which is exactly why I don't do them."
Before I answered, she sighed. "Not about me though... back to your emotional, hair-braiding, toenail painting, soul-searching process with your roommate?"
"That's Charlie, but about my roommate..." I frowned even though she couldn't have seen it. "Did you know Logan was here before me? And that he'd be my roommate?"
"Him there? Yes," she confirmed bluntly. "Roommates? Fuck no. I couldn't have made up that shit if I'd tried, Ellie. I still laugh about it when I need one."
"Harper!" While I appreciated her honestly, her admission stung into me. Old feelings played up their familiar role at the idea she'd kept information behind my back again. "You're supposed to tell me about this stuff, not hide it behind my back."
"It wasn't much," I practically saw a bored expression on her face that went along with her flat tone. "I texted him a few times, that's all."
"That's all?" I echoed with the sarcastic tone that held back my irritation at her concealment. My forehead tensed as I drew my eyebrows together. "About what?"
"Oh, you know," she replied in a flippant voice. "Football matchups, defensive schemes, PAC-Twelve Conference rivals, Jake, science classes... The fuck do you think he wanted from me? You, Ellie. Adonis wanted to know about you."
Again, all the reason to, I don't know... tell me?
Since an argument with her was the last thing I wanted, my chest lifted with a slow, deep breath. "What exactly?"
"You should ask him." My ear filled with silence while she paused for a moment, then buzzed with static as she sighed. "But lucky for you, I apparently have bigger balls than him."
Oh geez. What on earth is she referring to now?
I leaned back against my chair and rubbed one hand over my forehead. My Statistics notes looked more appealing than where this conversation potentially headed.
"Lemme scroll through..." she murmured into my ear. "Here. I texted him a message that you'd forgiven me and Jake, to throw the blonde pile of muscles a sliver of encouragement. That was nice of me, I wasn't even drunk when I sent that."
"Harper, you're digressing," I warned her.
"Sorry. Then he said..." The way her words trailed off only flamed my irritation further.
"For fuck's sake, Harper," I spat out, then clenched my free hand into a fist. "What?"
She cleared her throat, then deadpanned in a low-toned, gravelly voice that sounded nothing like Logan's, "Thanks Harper. I appreciate it. I've put in a transfer to UW and really hope she'll see me again."
"Oh..." I relaxed back into my seat because this sounded like almost nothing except a giant freaking heads-up I would've appreciated. "So, what's with the condoms?"
"I didn't know his address, just used your post office." Her normal voice returned, an edge of cockiness I knew was accompanied by a smirk of success. It faded slightly when she added, "I suppose I should relay that message too."
"You should've already," I grumbled quietly while she cleared her throat again.
In her terrible Logan-impression voice, she said, "Can't thank you enough for those wrong-sized condoms. Glad to know you still have Ellie's back though."
"Did you reply to that?"
"I might've," she admitted quietly with a slight trace of guilt in her voice. "Something along the lines of... good luck."
Seriously doubt that's the words she actually used.
"Harper -" I started when she sighed again.
"Okay, fine... I said, 'If you fuck this up then I will personally drive up there, smash your balls with a seafood mallet, chop your dick off with the dullest, rustiest butter knife that I can find, string-tie it to a cinder block, then toss it into the Pacific Ocean for Alaskan King crab food."
That's quite... vivid. Only Harper.
"You did not say that," I groaned quietly because the mental image of Logan's dismemberment wasn't one that I wanted anywhere near my mind. "Thanks for telling me... eventually, I guess."
"Honestly, it slipped my mind," she confessed. "I was working at the paralegal department office, screwing the other paper pusher, so I was pretty distracted."
Again, only Harper.
"Right..." I scoffed, then decided this was a dead-end topic and switched to the second reason I'd called. "So I need your help."
"My help?"
I supposed she had a reason to sound surprised at that, especially after she fessed up about a conversation behind my back, but I was honest and filled her in for all the details of our date later today. She stayed largely silent, but when I got to the part where I needed her insight, thankfully she was completely on board. And, just as I'd hoped, she knew exactly what I needed.
"My dear Ellie," she practically burst with excitement. "You've come to absolutely the right person."
I sure hope so.