A/N hello guys this chapter is gonna be like Karl's journey while sapnap was out, also this chapter is long.
TW torture? (not in a kinky way or anything)
Karl's pov
I woke up in the hospital.
I looked around for any sign of sapnap he wasn't anywhere then s nurse walked in "oh good your awake n-" I cut him off "where's my friend I know he followed me" the nurse looked down "he's not waking up he had awful head injuries and the people that did it got away when the police showed up" the nurse looked back up at me "oh don't worry he has about a 50 percent chance of surviving" a 50 percent chance this is all my fault he might die because I couldn't be quiet about it a sneak out this is my fault sapnap's gonna die because of me its my fault his own friend turned against him "excuse me sir your going to be discharged tomorrow" I nodded and waiting for him to leave before bursting into tears, sapnap needs to be ok I need him he's the only reason I'm not dead or bleeding out in the bathroom I ended up crying myself to sleep that night.
~time skip~
I woke up to bright lights shining in my face "oh good morning you're ok to leave here are your clothes" the nurse handed me my clothes and went to leave "hey wait uhm do you know what room my friends in?" I asked scratching the back of my neck "oh he's in room 505" (ik thats gogy but like) I nodded as he left the room. Once I was done changing I went off to find sapnap, as I approached room 404 I saw doctors and nurses coming in and out I'll come see him tomorrow he's probably not in good condition right now.
I caused this why would he want to see me ever.
As I walked back to the house I thought of cutting I really did but sapnap wouldn't want that right?
No he would I could have gotten him killed this is all my fault, I ran to the bathroom and searched all the drawers but they're were non of what I was looking for, I ran into the kitchen and searched all the drawers and right next to the fridge there was a drawer filled with all the razor blades and knifes in the house I'm surprised it wasn't locked. I grabbed a blade and rolled up my pants, I took a deep breath and made 10 cuts all for reasons
1 for putting sapnap in this position
2 for existing
3 for letting my dad get arrested he was right to take his anger out on me
4 for being fat
5 for listening to dream and Jayson when they told me to meet them behind the 7 11
6 same reason as 2
7 for letting all my cuts heal before making new ones
8 for disappointing sapnap
9 for not succeeding in dying
10 for everyone's life I've ruined
As blood came out of the cuts I heard a knock at the door "who the honk is here". I walked to unlock the door after stopping the blood, I opened the door "hello?" I asked before getting shoved to the side by someone I recognized way to well "what are you doing here Noah" I asked "aww still cutting poor you" Noah mocked sarcastically, Noah was my ex he abused me after finding out my dad did he said it was ok because I was 'used to it.' "GET OUT NOW" Noah shook his head "not before I teach you a lesson, good boys don't run away" he said grabbing my arm and pulling me into his car "wait I have to take care of the house so sapnap can have it if he survives" Noah buckled me in and told me "don't worry I'll drop you back off after that id if you dont die from it" we drove for a few hours until we made it to a lake in the middle of nowhere "no please Noah anything but this" one of my biggest fears were drowning Noah knew that "this is what you get for running away you fucking brat" Noah grabbed my hair and pulled me to the water "please I'll do anything Noah" he just kept pulling.
Once we reached the water he immediately shoved my head under I couldn't hold my breath for long so I soon inhaled the water and passed out, the was awoken when I coughed up the water and could breath again and there Noah was he had given me cpr just so he could throw me in the water I could swim lucky but it stung so bad, I got out of the water my cuts stinging and I was soaked, blood started coming out of my cuts again the dried blood that was stopping it had been washed off "Noah please take me back" he sighed and nodded "take off your shirt so you don't bleed all over my car "Noah" Noah had also known about my eating disorder, he liked to support me through it by telling me I was right I was fat and he encouraged me to puke my food up "come on, take it off" I shook my head and pressed my soaked pants against my cuts.
After a while we arrived "get out of my car I'll be coming back in a week I'll do something different next time."
And he did, he came back every week and did something different each time, like 2 days after he came I would go and visit sapnap the doctors said he was doing better and now had an 80 percent chance of survival.
Once Noah stopped showing up I would eat something small every once in a while just so I didn't die of starvation and I was cutting daily, 2 cuts a day.
~time skip uh this is like 3 months in bc I alread have over 1000 words~
One day I fell asleep in the hospital and woke up to someone calling my name it was this kid named George from school "hey Karl right" he said as I opened my eyes "yep thats me" he asked what I was here for and I told him a friend "hey are you ok you look really pale" I nodded and he placed a hand on my leg, I winced as he placed his hand on a spot I had cut on yesterday, he pulled his hand back and apologized "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" I looked at him and and smiled "its fine I'm used to it" he looked at me in shock before I realized what I had just said he now put his hand on my shoulder and we just talked for a while.
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In the amount of time sapnap was out for George tried to help me eat and stop cutting of course it didn't work and I would just throw up my food before I got in the shower and sometimes I would cut but it was fine,I'm fine.
One time noah came back and took me back to the lake I let him do it but this time he didn't let me inhale the water, he would take my head out before I took a breath.
Once he took me home I went to sapnap's night stand as I had seen him put pills back in there, and I went through it until I found oldish pills they would still work though. I walked into the bathroom and dumped the pills into my hand "its time I'm sorry sapnap that I won't be here when you wake up I'm sorry George that I have to leave you even after you tried to help I'm sorry dream jayson becky and Noah for taking away your guy's source of anger management" I inhaled before letting out my last words before I chucked the pills in my mouth "I love you so much sapnap."
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I woke up again why did I always wake up, a nurse walked in a few minutes later, it was the same one a I had when I was almost beat to death.
"Hi sir I've come to inform you that we have to admit you to a mental hospital I know that you've been admited to one before when you were,....15 for attempted suicide you tried the same way as now I'm sorry but we have to also because it appears you are serverly under weight as well."
I nodded but asked a question "can I at least wait until my friend wakes up" the doctor shook his head and said I would be transferred there from the hospital in 2 days.
George came to visit me the next day comforting me and telling me about his boyfriend, yes his boyfriend is dream and he still doesn't know that dream has made my life hell and he won't ever I can't do that to him he seems so, so happy with dream and wouldn't want to ruin it.
"So you're going to a mental hospital?" George questioned obviously already knowing the answer, I nodded he looked up at me pity filled his eyes as he broke eye contact with me obviously embarrassed that I started it.
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(We are about 7 months in now and Karl will be there for sapnap waking up an you would know if u read chapter 7)
It had already been 2 days I was on my way to the mental hospital, the doctors told me that I would be force fed if I didn't eat on my own at breakfast lunch and dinner and that I would be released in a week, what if I missed sapnap waking up.
And that exactly how it went I was force fed for a week and I gained at least 20 pounds I would need to lose that before sapnap woke up if I didn't miss it.
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Once I was out of the mental hospital I visited sapnap everyday.
I wasn't missing him waking up.
Not even if it meant I would die I wasn't missing this.
I didn't eat anything but a granola bar for a month I was losing weight quickly I was pale and I had large eye bags and I was cutting everyday, 4 cuts a day until...
...one day I fell asleep and woke up to sapnap sitting up with his eyes open he was awake "sapnap?" he got up and ran to me, he picked me up slightly squeezing me "Karl have you been eating" I looked anywhere but at him "have you" I said back trying to lighten the mood "Karl I know you took these 9 months as a chance to go back to everything but I'm here now and I promise this time I'll help you get better" he held his hand out with his pinky out "promise we'll get better together" he asked I interlocked our pinkys my other hand had ny fingers crossed behind my back, I wanted to get better but being skinnier is way better then being healthy.
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We got home and both went to bed happy to cuddle up together again.
Woah long chapter thank you guys for 230 reads I'm so happy hope you guys enjoy this long part and remember to eat and drink something because I acre about you guys
1940 words damn