I was in Freddie's shed as usual, drinking and talking about random things, waiting for Cook and JJ to get back from College Green. Cook and I had seen each other every day since the party, but neither of us had mentioned...what happened.
"So how did Pandas sleepover go?" Freddie asked.
"Shit. I dunno what happened, it just turned into a giant party and then everyone just left" I replied.
"At least you had an eventful day, I was stuck here watching Karen's sexxbomb routine over and over"
"She got into the competition then?"
"Unfortunately. And she won't shut up about it"
"Sisters eh?"
"Love em, but also fucking despise them"
"Ill drink to that" I laughed, tipping a shot down my throat.
There was suddenly three knocks on the shed door, followed by,
'Hello?'.
It clearly wasn't JJ or Cook, and Karen never knocks. I frowned at Freddie a little, before he shrugged and gestured for me to answer it while he rolled a joint.
"Oh..hey Effy" I greeted, poking my head around the door.
She was standing there, hugging her elbows and smiling a little. I looked back at Freddie, who looked more clueless and nervous than ever.
"Hey...I just wanted to see what was in your shed"
"My..?" Freddie said, coming to stand next to me.
"Shed" She replied, nodding behind us. "Everyone says you guys have a marvelous shed"
"Everyone?" I frowned.
"Yeah..it's.. marveled at"
I could tell she was making it all up as she went along.
"Um..come in?" I suggested, opening the door wider.
I let her have a seat in the armchair that was beside Freddie, while I sat in the car scrap opposite them.
"Thanks for letting me in, I know it's weird" Effy said, to no-one in particular.
I paused to let Freddie answer, but he sat there blankly, tongue-tied.
"It's fine. Bit weird though, there's usually nobody in here but me and the boys"
She laughed a little, her hair swinging over her face.
"Anyway, spliff then?" She said, nodding at the one Freddie was rolling.
"Uh- um- yeah" He uttered, lighting it and handing it to her. She took a long drag and blew it into the air, closing her eyes slowly as she did so.
"So anyway, what do you lot do in here?" She asked.
"Just talk and stuff...hang out I guess" Freddie shrugged.
"Seems like a good place to hide" She responded.
"Really is" I said softly, looking around.
I never really appreciated it before.
I shifted around uncomfortably, realizing there was something underneath me. I pulled it out, and saw that it was a porn mag.
"Er Freddie! Fucks sake" I laughed, holding it up with two fingers.
"Why don't you get your porn on the internet like normal people" Effy scoffed.
"Alright alright" He laughed, grabbing it from me and tossing it behind him. "I forgot to clean up after earlier after I-"
"Yeah ok" I said, covering my ears. "I don't need to hear anymore"
Effy laughed again, and slowly looked over at Freddie. They shared a short moment- looking into each others eyes- before it was harshly interrupted.
"You'll never guess whats just happened" Cook suddenly said, backing into the shed and pummeling the punching bag. JJ followed after him, his eyes widening as he saw Effy.
"This skinny asian fucker was up the green right-"
"Cook" I said, clearing my throat.
He carried on speaking, while JJ also started calling his name.
"He was body popping on a bit of lino, he had a little sign saying Anwar the magnificent, he was busking, making cash money so I said to him if I can join in yeah, and he says something about do I know the 'buddha-buddha-cheese-buddha' routine so I says-"
"Cook!" I shouted, causing him to finally turn around.
His eyes scanned the area, and landed on Freddie and Effy.
"Well blow bubbles up my bollocks and call me Shirley" He said.
I swear I saw a little jealousy rise on his face.
"We've got company" I said, gesturing for him to calm down.
He snatched the spliff Freddie was putting to his lips and sat on the chair arm beside Effy. Freddie stared at me, but I shrugged helplessly.
"Welcome to our fortress of solitude!" JJ announced, holding his arms out.
"Come sit, curlynob" I said to him, nodding next to me.
He perched on the side of the car, and tried to think of something to say to cut the awkward silence.
"I think I love the sexxbombs, Karen's costume last night was a bit of a marvel, I'm pretty sure it defied the laws of physics, I mean, that tiny amount of material is surely not able to cover the requisite surface area for UK broadcasting laws" JJ gabbled.
It stopped the silence at least.
Cook tossed the last of the spliff onto the ground and smiled, while Effy fiddled with her bracelet and regretted coming.
"Skirt was so short I saw her bumhole wink" Cook said.
"Cook" I tutted, while picking at my nails.
"What it's true!" He replied.
JJ suddenly clapped and rubbed his hands together.
"Pass the spliff Freddie-brek!" He said.
Freddie looked pissed as yet another of his spliffs was getting stolen off him- especially one freshly rolled- but he handed it over regardless.
"Yes, a trick!" I exclaimed, sitting up. This was probably the most exciting thing to happen in this tense moment.
JJ took the spliff and flipped it into his mouth, gasping for water seconds later.
"Be careful J" I laughed, watching him cough.
He looked around frantically and grabbed a bottle of weird liquid, chugging it down.
He suddenly spat it into a lighter, sending a thick flame flying out of his mouth, shocking us all. Effy and I screamed while Cook and Freddie whooped with laughter.
"Fucking genius!" Cook shouted, clapping his hands.
"How long have you had that planted there?" Freddie laughed.
"About eight months!" JJ smiled.
"Fucking hell J that almost burned my eyebrows off" I giggled.
"Wait... I think it did!" Cook said, standing up and squinting at me.
"What?" I said, frantically feeling around my face.
"Yeah, come here" He said, before playfully flicking my forehead.
"Fuck off" I said, hitting his hand away from me.
He laughed a little, before of course, turning back to Effy.
"After all that excitement I fancy a spunk, you coming Eff? You soon will be" He laughed.
I immediately stiffened up, wishing she would say no. I was so fucking confused. One minute Cook wanted me and the next he was back to Effy?
Eff glanced at me, and her eyes flickered to Freddie for a short second.
"I'd sooner fuck JJ" She sighed.
"I know that isn't intended as a complement, but i'm gonna take it as one anyway" J smiled.
"Nah you don't understand I said are you coming Eff, you soon will be" Cook said, furrowing his brow.
"I got it. Freddie and JJ got it. Kal fucking got it. That termite over there got it. But you're not going to get it, got it?" She swore, tilting her head to the side.
"Nah i'm confused?" Cook replied.
"I'm not going anywhere near you anymore Cook. Fuck off" She said, standing up.
I breathed a sigh of relief and looked back up at Cook.
"Piss off then!" He shouted, getting into Effys face. "This is our place right, and if you're not gonna shag us then get to fuck"
"Cook!" I said, standing up and pulling him backwards.
"It's ok Kal, i'm leaving" Effy said, keeping her eyes on Cook before stepping out.
"Fucking hell Cook, could you not start on anyone for at least a day?" I said, completely pissed.
He looked back at me, anger in his eyes, before turning back to Freddie, who was about to walk out.
"Mate stir my porridge if you want! But I'd say even J's got a better chance than you! I mean, when's the last time you breathed fire?" He said, before flicking Freddie's chin.
Freddie stared at him for a moment, before heading out. JJ soon did the same.
I silently stepped towards the door.
"What you're gonna ditch me too?" He said, still a little angry.
"Why are you being like this Cook?" I asked, looking back at him.
"Like what?"
"A prick. To everyone"
He went silent for a second, and leant against the car.
"My Mum kicked me out, Kal"
"What?"
"Didn't you clock it? That's why I'm living in college accom"
"But..why?"
"I sold her wedding rings, to buy drugs" He admitted, smirking.
"Typical" I sighed, leaning next to him. "So you're missing your mom?"
"Fuck no!" He laughed. "I guess i'm missing Paddy. Everything's fucked"
"I get you. Still not an excuse to be a dick to everyone though"
"I know. I'm sorry"
"Just talk to us. Me, Freddie, JJ. We're right here"
He pulled me in for a tight hug. I stroked the hairs on the back of his head and lingered in the moment, my body pressed against his.
He pulled away for a second, and kissed me. I kissed back before we departed from each other.
It could've been a lovers kiss or simply a friend kiss. Neither of us knew what was going on between us, and we clearly weren't gonna talk about it.
-
"So, Hamlet. What it all about? Dudes!" Josie said, while the entire class stared at her blankly. I was sat between Cook and Naomi, trying to write down some decent notes. It was a little hard to concentrate, as Cook had his hand resting on my thigh.
Definitely not friendly.
"Well Josie, through the fog of his grief, Hamlet is struggling to choose between action, and in-action. And, through the struggle, he encounters existential forces illuminating the path towards death which is, in itself, life" Josie said, moving her hand as if it was talking. Cook and I exchanged puzzled glances, before looking back at her.
"My my, that is an illuminating thesis Gerald well done, why thank you, no thank you you're a delight to teach, well thank you" She went on, talking to her hand.
She was interrupted when Freddie walked in, looking a little lost.
"I-I got held up" He shrugged.
"Freddie's always late" Josie- or should I say, 'Gerald' said.
"Sorry" He replied.
He hesitated as he looked at where to sit. The empty seat next to Effy, or the seat beside Cook. He chose Effy and sat down next to her, trying not to look at Cook, who was shaking his head.
"You're all gonna fail if you don't read the pucking book!" Josie exclaimed.
"I've read it!" Pandora beamed.
"Oh!" Josie replied.
"I didn't really understand it though"
"Oh..."
"Did the ghost do it after all? Or was it Voldemort? He's a right beast isn't he!" Pandora said.
"Wrong book Panda" I smiled.
"Yeah, I think you have your books mixed up again" Emily said.
Josie went on talking, while Cook tugged my hand off the table and pulled it under with his, holding it tightly. I looked over at him in surprise, but I couldn't read his face. He stared forward, neither smiling or frowning. I squeezed his hand slowly.
Naomi glanced down at our hands, and looked over at Effy and Freds who were also close together, and suddenly put her hand up.
"Hamlets basically a teenage boy. He's got all these desires, but doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them, so he goes mad, wanks off about Ophelia, and then ends up so boring that someones has to kill him!" She said, glancing back and forth at Cook and Freddie the entire time.
"I'm not sure that's right..there's no wanking in Hamlet" Josie said, flicking through the book.
"Yeah, there is. Loads. Only they call it 'soliloquizing'." Naomi replied.
I giggled a little, while Cook threw his head back and laughed.
"Nice one blondie, she's funny" He said.
I walked out of class, stepping over JJ who was currently being tickled to death, and called to Freddie.
"Freds, we're going down the pub, you coming?"
"Nah, i've er.. got to go home, i've got this thing with Karen.." He trailed off, while itching the back of his head. He seemed to be a bit twitchy, looking behind him. I looked over his shoulder and saw Effy, who was walking slowly like she wanted Freds to catch up with her.
"Come on man! I need to get that fucking Dickens out my head! Let's get fucking trashed" Cook said.
"Come on Freds! It's been ages since we last went out!" JJ moaned, struggling to stand up.
"Nah. I'm going home" He said, turning to walk with Effy.
We stared at him for a moment, before Cook dragged JJ down again, and plagued him with tickles.
"Come and have a tickle" Cook laughed.
JJ squealed, as I bent down to tickle his stomach.
-
"Whys Freddie's acting all fucking weird?" Cook frowned, before taking a sip of his drink.
"Effy" I muttered, under my breath.
"Eh?"
"Nothing" I quickly replied.
"I'm not sure why, but I think he doesn't want to be friends with us anymore" JJ said, while scribbling down pub quiz answers.
"Nah he's stuck with us now" I said. "If he fucks off, i'll kill him"
We were interrupted when he walked in, looking pissed as usual.
"Fred-ster!" Cook called, looking back at him. Freddie couldn't even crack a smile, and sat down next to me.
"What's up Fred?" I asked, sensing something was wrong, more than usual.
"Karen's stolen our shed, for her fucking sexxbomb rehearsals" He sighed, rubbing his forehead.
"What?" Cook, JJ and I chorused, sitting up in alarm.
"But that's our place!" I exclaimed.
"That what I said to Dad! He doesn't care though, she always comes first to him"
"Great" I sighed, putting my head in my hands.
"Right, question 23, a swan is the only bird with a penis, but how long can a cockroach live after you've pulled its head off?" Keith asked, after slapping a piece of meat.
"Easy" JJ said, scribbling down the answer.
"Take your time J, i'm not sure we really want to win that manky piece of meat" I grimaced, staring at it.
"Ha! This is a laugh eh? Let's have a cheers" said Cook, holding up his glass.
JJ and I held ours up, while Freddie was zoned out, staring at the floor.
"C'mon Freds, cheers" He repeated.
Freddie raised his glass and did a half hearted cheers, before looking over at the door. Effy walked in, her eyes piercing into Freddie. It's like he wanted to go up to her, but he didn't have the bottle. Cook noticed his look.
"Let's not let anything come between us, yeah guys?"
No idea what that was supposed to mean. If he's still hung up on Effy, whys he fucking with me then? I wish he'd be straight with me.
"Anyway we've got bigger fish to fuck, who does your sister think she is, Gina-fucking-G?" Cook continued. "This fucking shed situation is fucked! The cookie-monster does not like this" He ranted, shaking his head.
"If you find her so reprehensible, then why did you have sex with her" JJ asked, not looking up from his paper.
My eyes widened as Cook winced.
"Oh wai-wait, that one was supposed to stay in the vault wasn't it-" JJ stuttered, before Cook slapped him upside the head.
"Wait what? You and Karen?" I said, very surprised. "When?"
"Last year.." Cook said.
I was relieved to know it wasn't recent at least.
"Woah woah woah... you shagged my sister?"
"You know what I'm like, Freds. Half a bottle of grappa I turn into a fucking machine gun I can't help what wanders in-"
"You fucked my sister?" Freddie shouted, causing the whole pub to fall silent.
I stared down into my lap awkwardly.
Freddie moved to a separate table, and ordered more and more drinks, getting so pissed he could barely walk. I followed him as he stumbled out of the pub, and grabbed his arm.
"Get off Kal" He mumbled, trying his best to walk in a straight line.
"Nah mate your fucked, you can't walk all the way home like this-"
"Kal, fuck off!" He shouted, before storming away.
I stood there for a moment, staring at the back of him.
"Fuck you then! Wanker!" I shouted back. I'm not sure why, I guess I was offended. Freddie never usually speaks to me like that.
I stormed back into the pub, slamming the door a little as I went inside.
"What's wrong babe?" Cook frowned, as I slumped into my seat.
"Freddie, man. Being all fucking weird" I said, folding my arms.
Cook went silent for a second, until his face lit up.
"What if we vote against Karen?"
"What?" I said.
"Let's ruin her little competition thing! We get our shed back, Freddie's happy again, simple"
I didn't think it was simple, but I agreed.
"But Freddie might not want us to-" JJ started.
"J do you want the shed back? We're voting against Karen" I snapped.
Cook smirked.
"Everyone, we need a favour" He said, standing up and tapping his glass.
-
"Cook, maybe this isn't a good idea I mean-" I began. Since my anger had worn off, I'd come to my senses. Freddie was gonna be pissed and this was all gonna go to shit.
"Watch, Freddie is gonna be over the moon" Cook replied, as we walked up to Freddie's house.
Karen lost of course, so we were going to Freddie's to 'celebrate'.
"Kals right, Cook" JJ said, while nervously nibbling at his thumbnail.
"Whatever, we're here" Cook said, and rang the doorbell.
Freddie came to open the door, dressed in a button-up shirt for whatever reason.
"What you doing man? Let's go out and fucking celebrate!" Cook exclaimed, while leaning his hands against the door frame.
"What?" Freddie frowned.
"She fucking lost!"
"I'm not going anywhere" Freddie huffed.
I knew it.
"Ok then we'll bring the party to you" Cook said, before stepping inside.
"Sorry Freds, he wanted to come" JJ muttered.
"Yeah, just don't start anything ok?" I whispered.
We walked into the living room, coming in to find Karen sitting on the sofa, with mascara all down her face. She stared at the wall blankly, blinking tears out of her eyes. All this seemed like my fault.
"Bad luck Karen, in the competition like. But y'know, what comes around goes around" Cook smiled.
"Cook, please" I whispered, while my heart beat out of my chest.
"How much did you loose by again? 15 votes? Well that's funny, cos that's about how many people who were in Keith's pub tonight"
I winced as I watched Freddie's face drop.
"You voted against her?" He asked.
"Not just me, everyone in there! JJ and Kal, even" Cook said.
"You fucking did what?" Karen snapped.
"You took my shed I took your competition fairs fair" Cook shrugged.
"You little shit, you ugly little bastard! Bastard!" Karen shouted, lunging at him.
Freddie managed to grab her before she got to him as I jumped up, stunned.
"I forgot how limber you were Karen" Cook laughed.
Karen stormed out, shooting us a dirty look as she did so.
"You prick. You selfish, fucking prick!" Freddie shouted.
"Karen took our fucking shed, she deserved it" Cook shrugged.
Freddie ran up and grabbed him, holding a fist up to his face. I held JJ's wrist and told him to close his eyes, or else he would get seriously locked on.
"Fucking do it then you pussy!" Cook said.
Freddie head butted him, sending him stumbling backwards. He bounced back, and stared angrily into Freddie's eyes for a moment, before instead, kissing him.
"I really fucking love you, you bastard.
JJ, Kalani, we're leaving" He announced, before walking out.
"Freds, I'm-" I started.
"Kal!" Cook shouted from the hallway.
I sighed, closing my eyes.
"It was my fault Freddie, I was angry at you and-"
"It's fine Kal. Whatever. I love you and JJ but i'm fucking done with him" He cursed, rage lingering in his eyes. I nodded and walked away.
Glass crunched under my shoes as I walked into the hallway, and I looked down to see Freddie's family photo on the ground, with the frame smashed. Cook wrung out his hands, staring at his bloody knuckles while JJ glanced nervously between the two of us.
"For fucks sake" I mumbled, before opening the door and pulling him and JJ out of the house with me.
After dropping JJ off at home, Cook walked me home. The sky was pitch black, and the pavement was wet from previous drizzle.
I broke the ear-splitting silence with:
"Freddie says he's done with you".
"Couldn't care less" He shrugged, not looking up from the ground.
"Yeah you do. I know you do"
He didn't reply for a moment.
"Whatever. He's a bitch"
"You're the bitch in the situation James"
"Fucks sake Kal it was your idea too!"
"I know, so i apologised. You on the other hand broke his family photo, you know, the one with his fucking mom in it?"
He went silent.
"Think before you do stupid shit"
"I got angry"
"How many times are you gonna get angry before you lose everyone?"
It was clear that by everyone I meant me.
He sensed my seriousness and suddenly looked worried, going dead silent again.
"Apologise to him Cook. Night" I said, before going up the steps to my front door.
Liv was inside, curled up on the sofa watching a movie.
"It's late, why aren't you in bed?" I asked, while kicking my converse off.
"Could say the same to you" She replied, raising an eyebrow. "Was that James you were arguing with?"
"We weren't arguing. I was just setting him straight" I shrugged, perching on the arm of the sofa.
"What's going on between you two?"
"Christ, why is everyone asking that?"
"Things just seem... off"
"Honestly Liv... I don't even know. He's so confusing"
"Elaborate" She frowned, turning away from the movie and giving me her full attention.
"Well, we erm... we..."
"Fucked?"
"Liv!"
"What else do you want me to say? Made love?" She laughed.
"Christ" I sighed. "Anyway, we did- that but we're both acting completely normal about it. We haven't mentioned it, not once"
"Was it a one-time friend-thing?"
I shrugged.
"Well, you've got me there" She replied, looking puzzled.
"My guess is, he's as confused as you are"
"So are we just gonna be two idiots headfucking each other forever?"
"Looks like it. One of you is gonna have to talk"
edited ✅