"IT WAS NICE TO FEEL LOVED BY YOU ONCE."
MAY 12, 2015 — 11:10 AM
Well, let me just tell you. When I thought that Beomgyu and I's relationship could reach its peak—where we could love without fighting, where we could be happy—it went to an all-time low. He went back to being possessive, upset about the smallest things. Things really don't change, do they... Ah...
He's currently angry at me too for hanging out with Taehyun the other day without him knowing. I don't know whether or not it's my fault. I mean, he always seemed to know where I was, so I don't know why this time was any different. "Kai?"
Kai turned my way, eating another lollipop. "Can I have that pineapple lollipop you used to tell me about?"
His eyes sparkled at the thought of the pineapple lollipop, rummaging through his backpack until he found it. He pulled it out in front of me, and just when I was about to snatch the lollipop, he moved it away from me. "Are you having a bad day? Bad thoughts?"
The cute tilt in his head made me chuckle a bit, his body moving so that he sat in front of me again instead of next to me. "Yeah, like always, things are back to normal. The negative energy that I always have is back—just when I didn't want it to be."
"I see..." He trailed off, handing me the lollipop. I unwrapped it immediately, sticking it in my mouth. "Gosh, I hope that when I get a girlfriend, we don't fight as much as you both do..."
"You say that like it's a bad thing!" I defended.
"Because it is!" Taehyun joined me, hitting me in the head with a basketball. I hissed, glaring at him as he does it again. "Don't get mad at me for hitting you! You deserve it—you both never seem to clear up the problems you guys share. It just piles, piles, and piles—until one of you knock it all to the ground at once until you never speak about it again and kiss."
"We aren't... that type of couple, are we?" I inquired, causing the two to exchange glances. "Do we both really sound that tiring?"
"Well..." They both trailed off.
"If they won't tell you, I will," Soobin tilted his head swiftly, joining in the conversation. "You both—together—are a tiring pair for us. We always have to step in and solve your problems for you."
"Because they can never seem to tell who's in the right or the wrong," Kai grumbled, shaking his head. "They both always think they're right."
"That's ego for you," Taehyun shrugged, sighing. "Why are you both even dating if you guys are just going to argue? Doesn't that drain you a bit?"
"...A bit?" The short answer came out more as a question, causing me to sigh. "I love him lots, I really do. However, the more we cuss each other out, only for us to kiss and make-up, it's getting repetitive. I wish we could've just been more... neutral about it."
Before either of the three could respond, we heard quiet laughter. This wasn't good. "Then why are we dating, Yang Yihwa?" I heard alongside the disbelief in his tone, the boy exiting the side of the stands before he appeared in front of us, holding a crate full of basketballs. He slowly walked up the stands, glaring down at me as I sat still. "Why the fuck are we dating if you're so sick of it?"
"Hyung, that's not what she said—"
"You should shut the fuck up too—you must be kissing up to her ass so she can stay friends with you... it makes me fucking mad," Beomgyu chuckled sarcastically, shaking his head before turning back to me. "Tell me, Yang Yihwa! Are you so sick of our relationship!?"
I chose to stay silent, licking my lollipop to avoid arguing with him. It's only been 3 months. I still can't forgive myself.
"Say something!" He yelled, everyone, tending our way. I eventually looked up at him, seeing the stare that could kill me over and over again. Before I could finally respond, the basket of basketballs was suddenly turning over on my head from far above, the several amounts hitting me all over my body.
"Beomgyu!" Soobin had yelled, pushing Beomgyu slightly as he tried to block the rest of the basketballs. It was silent in the court for a while, all that was heard was the bouncing of the sport he used to play against walls and floors. "Why the hell would you do that to her in front of all these people?!"
"Because she fucking deserves it," He whispered, glaring at me. "Like the stupid bitch she is."
Bitch, bitch, bitch. It's all I heard. If you were to insult me next time, at least make it original, damn! No...breathe in, breathe out...compose yourself. It's not time to yell at him. "You fucking suck—" He paused, inhaling sharply. "You're the worst girlfriend."
Ouch. Permanent damage.
I wasn't going to cry, I couldn't. He had already stomped away before I would play victim, crying my life away so that he'd apologize and I wouldn't have to. However, he was gone—there was no use in publicly embarrassing myself any further.
"Are you okay, Yihwa!?" Kai stood up in worry, patting my head from the hit. "Ah, what's wrong with hyung these days?"
"I'll be fine," I gritted my teeth, laughing awkwardly as I stood up and grabbed my things. "Now, if you excuse me... I have to go study." Walking away from them quickly, I disregarded all the murmurs and stares.
Beomgyu, you toxic bastard... I'll get you back one of these days.
"He did what?!"
"Yeah, that's what I said!" I scoffed in disbelief, walking home. I held my phone in my hand, the other holding my birthday cake. Yeah, today was my birthday, the day where I got basketballs thrown all over my head. Maybe I should've said something to make him feel a little more guilty, but I won't push it. "He threw basketballs on me in front of all the classes in the gym! Don't you know how embarrassing that is, Yeonjun!?"
"I can tell," Yeonjun grumbled, sighing through the phone. "I'm sure Taehyun and Soobin will probably talk to him. You'll get an apology in a few business days—so don't worry about it too much." I chuckled at his words, almost believing him. The doubt in me grew, considering that Beomgyu and I barely ever apologize for our mistakes unless it's a big one.
"Business days, my ass," I shook my head, sighing as the night grew humid. "Anyways, what are you up to? Did you do anything new at community college?"
"Aha, actually—!" He paused, almost excited. "I'm going to leave community college this year, I've found a passion for what I want to do in the future. All I need to do is find a school that'll accept me."
"Seriously!?" I squeaked, my heart jumping in surprise. "Oh gosh, Yeonjun, I'm so happy for you! So, what did you think of doing?!"
"I can't tell you, it's a secret~" He cooed, making me frown. "You'll know eventually. If I tell you, I'd have to update you every day because you'd be so excited about it. So, for now, finish your final exams and graduate sophomore year."
"Okay, Mr. Choi," I giggled to myself, switching ears. "Do you have anything else to tell me?"
"Oh, right, I do," He exhaled—the boy must be driving. Good for him, I guess. "Happy Birthday."
I halted, pressing my phone away from my ear as I looked around, trying to find his car. Why the hell is he always around? "Stop searching for me, you can't see me!" He yelled from the phone, causing me to press the phone back to my ear again. "I saw the cake in your hands, I'm not stupid. Plus, you told me last year."
"I did, didn't I," I laughed awkwardly, looking down at my ice cream cake. Blinking slightly, I bit my lower lip. "Yeonjun... you're still around, right?"
He hummed in approval, shuffling heard in the background. "I am still around."
"Might you..." I trailed off, holding back my smile as I lifted the cake—hoping that he could see me wherever he was. "...share this ice cream with me?"
"I thought you'd never ask," I heard, causing me to turn around. Yeonjun seemed to already be standing there, his shoulders jumping up as we exchanged laughter. He ended the call, both of us putting our phones away before he strolled over to grab the cake from my grasp. "Let's sit down."
We sat down outside not far from where we both were, a public park with a picnic table. I passed him one of the forks I got from the bakery, both of us instantly taking bites of the mint chocolate cake. "I didn't know you liked mint chocolate," He mentioned, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "Not a lot of us do—especially your boyfriend."
"Not many people know I like sweet things," I shrugged, swallowing the minty yet sweet taste. It felt at perfect balance. "I always tried bitter stuff growing up, so I got used to it more. I didn't like it as much as chocolate sundaes or mint chocolate ice cream. I guess you can say it's one of my secret likings."
"Beomgyu would feel absolutely crushed knowing you like mint chocolate ice cream," Yeonjun snickered, shaking his head. "I still feel so horrible that he humiliated you like that. I'm sorry he did that because of some dumb thoughts, you really didn't deserve it."
"It's not your fault, Yeonjun," I shrugged it off, spinning the cake slightly to taste the frosting. "Things happen, you shouldn't blame yourself if it's already been done."
"Isn't that what you're still doing, Miss Yang?" He interrogated, causing me to freeze my spoon halfway into my mouth to look at him with flaring eyes. "You're still trying to love up to Beomgyu as if you made a mistake—like you're trying to do damage control when in reality, it's not even worth it."
"Oh, hush," I snapped, frowning. "I'm also doing it because I love him and adore him. I really am sick of fighting with him—"
"But that'll get you nowhere," He shook his head, raising his eyebrows. "If anything, your silence could be something worse."
"You said that last time, too," I whined, causing him to grin. "Just eat your side of the cake and stop trying to fight me over this! I know what I'm doing."
"Okay, okay," He tried to relax, grabbing a napkin from the bag. He stood up, leaning over the ice cream cake, face inches from mine. Wiping—which I presume would be frosting—from my nose and lips, he retracted and sat back down while folding the napkin over. "You had frosting on your nose. You're so messy, idiot."
"No~, I'm not!" I almost stuttered, shit. "You're the idiot."
"You say that when you can't think of anything else. Did I surprise you?" He raised his eyebrow cockily, causing me to roll my eyes. I dug my fork into the cake, grabbing a big piece of the ice cream and frosting—before leaning over to Yeonjun and sticking it right into that talkative mouth of his.
"Shut the fuck up and eat the goddamn cake!" I hissed, frowning as I went to sit back down—but fell straight into the grass. Yeonjun laughed at me instantly, pointing at me as I huffed in ignorance. "You stupid—stop laughing at me!" Whining, I pouted. I was going to get him. He swallowed the cake, standing up and offering his hand.
"Come on, birthday girl, get up," He said, causing me to look up—all before yanking him down with his hand on the dirt as well. I laughed at him, the boy glaring as I got up. "Hey, Yang Yihwa, get back here!"
"Catch me if you can~" I cooed, running off as I heard his loud footsteps, giggling as we ran around trees and tables—only for me to get caught by his rushing arms.
Even though I got humiliated today, I guess my birthday wasn't too bad.
Ha... birthday girl. As if.