Part 3; -
Micky’s POV
“Micky, I don’t care about your explanations. We’re done and that’s it, what is there to explain? You broke up with me for some stupid music show and you’ve been with every other woman since. You might’ve been my best friend and lover for a long time but I can no longer see you as a friend or a lover. I might still love you like crazy but I just can’t get hurt anymore. I’m sorry Micky but we’re through” Her words hurt like crazy, I didn’t want to listen to them but I had to respect her wishes. I loved her like freaking crazy and I’d lost my chance to get her back. Maybe it’s for the best that we don’t get back together but if we really love each other then there’s a slight chance we could be together, if we both want it. Just maybe.
“Ella, I wasn’t with any other woman. All the time in the hotel, I was spaced out. I felt lost without you, when I got romantically linked with anyone else my heart sank. My heart sank because you’d see it and you’d think of me different but Ella you’ve known me for a while now, do you think I’m that sort of person?”
“Of course not but –“ I cut her off, I knew she was going to say something really hurtful.
“Well, there you go, I’m not. You can even ask Greg and Dan about what I did in the hotel. Ella, I still love you and I still remember everything from our past. I remember our baby too. Look, I know you ain’t been happy lately with what Lottie’s told me and don’t hate her for that, I asked. I asked because I was worried about you, I was worried because I know you got shoved from pillar to post with your parents and I know you didn’t really communicate with people. El, I still love you, I always will love you but if you don’t want to be friends or anything, I’ll leave you be. Good bye Ella” I walked away from her, I had to see my mum. I had no idea what the hell to do about this whole situation so I needed proper female advice.
I walked the short distance home; I needed time to think about what the hell to do. What would happen if I accidentally let it slip that Ella had a miscarriage? Would my parents be angry at me? Ugh, I was seriously lost but I need help in what to do. I didn’t know I was standing at my front door until my mum opened it.
“Micky what are you doing here?” She said as she walked back inside. I guess that was my cue to go inside. I’ll admit I was crapping myself, literally.
“I need advice. I came back to try and at least talk to Ella but it all failed. I walked away without a fight but I know I’m the one who created the mess in the first place but I was scared mum. I was scared that they’d find out things that no one knew. I was scared that the paparazzi would drive a wedge in between Ella and I”
“Micky, if you really loved Ella and she loved you then you would’ve worked through all the bad things together. Faced up to all the rumours and speculations, together. Micky, if you really love her then fight for her. Go on the x factor tour, come back and then fight as hard as you can. You both have history, a lot of history; it won’t be nice to throw away but Micky, fight for her. Now what did you want to hide from the paparazzi?”
“I love Ella mum. I’ve always loved her, even after we broke up. She was my best friend before all this messed rolled out and I want her back. Mum, if I told you what I wanted to keep hidden, you’d disown me but let’s just say that everyone’s lives would’ve changed”
“Then fight for her. Micky, I’ve never seen you give up on anything so go get her and what do you mean ‘everyone’s lives would’ve changed’?”
“Mum, if I told you, you’d be disappointed in me. It’s better for everyone if I don’t tell”
“Michael Curtis Parsons, you better tell me this instance before I go get your dad and make him sit you in the shed for an hour without things” Mum threatened. Oh god, not the shed. I hated that thing. Every time I was naughty, my dad used to put me in the shed for a short period of time until I was able to behave myself. It was crazy but it helped a little.
“Alright fine but if you hate me don’t tell me I didn’t tell you so” I gulped, this is it. This is secret I’ve been keeping for 2 nearly 3 years, “When Ella and I were 16, we had sex on our sixteenth birthday and um, the condom split and um she got pregnant but she miscarried the day we were going to tell you guys” My mum looked shocked, I wanted to run but I was frozen to my seat. The secret was out and there was no going back. In case you’re wondering both Ella and I share the same birthday, we’re both August 25 babies. Basically we’ve been best friends since nappies.
“Michael Parsons, how could you be so reckless? You were sixteen years old and you got a girl pregnant? Are you freaking insane?” My mum screeched, uh oh. This wasn’t going to be good. I was done for.
Ella’s POV
After Micky walked off, I was lost. I loved hearing his voice again, smelling his smell and feeling that lingering touch. Maybe I was delusional for turning him down again since I was still so badly in love with him but I couldn’t have that heart break again. I wouldn’t. He’s the past and he should stay there but I couldn’t help but want him here in the future.
I walked towards Micky’s mums’ house. I needed her advice, I just hoped Micky wasn’t there, you might be wondering why I’m going to Micky’s mum instead of my own but my parents didn’t give a crap after I moved out. They still had Dale, my brother but I knew they couldn’t wait until he was old enough to be kicked out. If they didn’t like us then why the frick have us? It puzzled everyone I spoke to especially when they hated us so much. They barely showed us any attention as kids, we got most of it from our grandparents but lately my own grandparents haven’t really been taking an interest in me, I know they are old, late 70s but they only have Dale and I, what could seriously be taking up their time? Maybe I should just let it go since I wouldn’t find out any answers soon. My family were like that, they were secluded. They didn’t seem to tell anyone until the last minute, when things were about to go awry. Maybe that’s why I’m so messed up. Maybe it’s the reason why I can’t have many things because I end up being unreasonable. I’m just messed up.
I walked up to Micky’s mums’ door and knocked. I just hoped and prayed that Micky wasn’t here because no matter how badly I wanted him back, I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. Steve answered the door.
“Carol’s in the dining room with Micky” Crap! He was here. Of course he’s here Ella; it’s his parents’ house. Where else do you think he’d be? On the moon? Gr, I need to stop arguing with myself mentally before I really do turn mental.
“I’ll come back when he’s not here” I sighed. I was defeated. I had no idea what to do so I turned and went to walk away from Steve when he said;
“If you really need to Carol, I’ll distract Micky and let you and Carol talk out in the veranda. I can see it’s important but Ella, do what your heart tells you otherwise it’ll eat you alive”
“Thank you Steve. Thank you for being my extended family when mine weren’t there and thank you for everything. You have really good advice at times but you know me and my stubbornness I could never follow what my heart tells me to do. I’m just that kind of girl but how am I going to get by Micky?”
“Go round the side gate and I’ll get Carol out as soon as I can. Ella, don’t thank us. Carol and I love you so it’s no bother but about the whole Micky situation just do what you think is right. Look I know he broke up with you for the x factor but you should know that when he was romantically linked to anyone in the papers, he phoned me crying at points. He still loves you Ella and when the papers lied, he hurt just like you hurt. Ella when I saw you in your work, you weren’t the normal happy Ella you normally are, instead you were this frail, unhappy Ella and I know you still cry at night. I know that because you’ve been through so much, it’s just hard to throw away. Just think about things a little and do what’s right” His words had meaning. However, Micky was crying? Did I really mean that much to him? What’s the point though, he ended things. He broke me in way more ways than one. Although we were together for 2 years before he broke it off, it felt like we were married. It only felt like that because we could argue, we could love and we had wonderful memories so the break up to me felt like a divorce. I know that’ll make no sense to some people but to me it felt real and it felt like a good way to describe the situation. Most people after a break up can move on after a year but a married person, after a divorce they’re a mess. I saw what my parents were like first hand. I might’ve only have been 5 but I saw how they acted and I saw how sour they actually were at times. Maybe I’m just comparing this to that because I feels like forever. It feels like years since Micky and I got together, like we were actually dating from around the age we met.
I was sat round the back door waiting on Carol coming out. I wasn’t cold, I was boiling in fact. It was mid-January; the middle of winter but it was a nice air. I was only thankful for the slightly lighter nights. I couldn’t handle the dark nights, especially since there was so many creepers around.
“Hey Ella” Carol said as she sat down next to me; “You as bad as Micky?”
“What do you mean?” I asked confused at her statement. Was Micky as bad as me? I didn’t know he was hurting that much. Oh gosh what have I done?
“He’s hurting Ella. He’s nearly crying just like you’re trying to stop yourself from crying right now. I don’t know what’s happened tonight but I know both of you love each other a lot, no matter what’s happened in the past, I think you both need to move forward. It’s not healthy on either of you. Micky’s putting on a brave face most of the time but I know the fans and everyone else is starting to see past the fake smile. As for you, you’ve lost weight and you’ve lost your cheerfulness. Ella, Lottie’s also been keeping me updated as well as Micky. Lottie’s worried just like Maria and Rachel are. You have wonderful friends; it’s time you let them in so they can help you. I don’t know if you’ve been doing it but I’m doubtful that you have. Ella, it’s time to let go. I know you might not want to let Micky go but you both need to. I know you’ve got history with the miscarriage and being best friends but it’s time to let go”
“Carol, I’m scared. I’m scared that if I let go, I’ll forget everything. All the good and the bad memories. I’m scared that I’ll forget I once was pregnant. We might’ve been 16 but I was ready to love the child, I just don’t feel ready to let go but how did you know I was preganant?” I was crying, I know Carol means well but me let go? It’d be a miracle if that ever did happen. For the past year Lottie, Maria and Rachel have been urging me to let go but I couldn’t. No matter how bad I try, I couldn’t.
“Ella, you won’t forget. They are a part of you; no one can take that away. No one can take the memories or the fact that you were pregnant and Micky told me. I know you’ll want to kill him for it but I forced it out of him tonight since he kept mumbling about me hating him but I couldn’t stop you having sex at sixteen. You’re both legal now. Look, it might be hard at first but you need to get back out there and get back on the bandwagon. You deserve happiness but I know it’ll be hard seeing each other about the place and lusting after each other but it’s for the best”
“Thank you Carol, I’m not going to kill him but its best I say goodbye now. You’re right about one thing, I need to let go not only for my health but for his too. It will be hard but I’ll get there and thank you for being so understanding about the baby and the miscarriage” I wiped my tears and begun making my way inside. I know I’ll hurt but it’s for the best.
I walked towards Micky’s room, I knew he was in here because he wasn’t with his dad and I doubt he’d be in the mood to socialise with Dan and Greg. He was where I’d said he’d be but he was on twit cam, his door wasn’t in sight of where his laptop was placed so I knew I was hidden from the cam, I was hidden from the fans too.
“Ok so I’ve had a lot of questions since last year asking me if I alright, if I truly was happy. The answer to those questions is no. I’m not truly happy; I was trying to fool you all because I didn’t feel like sharing my problems. Before I started the x factor, I was dating a girl I truly loved and I still do love her but it’s gotten complicated. I broke it off with her because I was scared of what would happen if the public knew. I know it’s a pretty crazy thing but we have a pretty weird past together, we were childhood best friends also so it made everything a lot worse” He said to the screen. I knew he was pouring out his emotions but I couldn’t listen anymore. I was about to break again so I looked at the top of his dresser to see there was a couple of pens and some paper. I grabbed some, quietly before going out into the landing and writing;
Dear Micky,
I couldn’t tell you this face to face since you were telling your fans as to why you’re unhappy. We need to move on from each other because this lusting after one and other isn’t good for our health. We may have a past together; memories together. Some good and some bad but they’ll always be there with us. Maybe it’s the memories that are keeping us lusting after each other but maybe we do still love each other, a lot but for now I’m saying goodbye. It’s hard to write this without tearing up because it hurts a lot. Maybe we’ll see each other in the foreseeable future, you never know. I just hope that you find someone that’ll make you as happy as you made me. I also wish you the best for the future with District3, no matter how bad our past is, I’ll always be there supporting you, rooting for you from afar. Good luck in your travels.
I still love you Micky but for now, it’s goodbye.
Love,
Ella xx
I sat the letter on top of his dresser hoping that he’ll see it soon. I didn’t want to listen to what he was telling the fans so I just walked away.
Who knows what’ll happen in the future, maybe we will see each other again but maybe we won’t. Who knows? Not me.
A/N: -
I'm having such a soppy day so that's kinda why this is sad plus also listening to a sad song while writing this sucks too :( I'll post the song at the side but I hope you find it alright :)