What could Callum possibly want at nine o'clock at night? And why does he have to interrupt me when I'm being productive for the first time in months?
I stand up, pacing over to my door hesitantly. My hand hovers at the door knob. Somehow, I find the strength to open it.
"What do you want?" I snap. Walls up, attitude on, claws out.
In this light, his eyes are pale green.
"I just came to drop off your medal. Can I come in?" His voice is different. It's like he's wearing authority like a disposable mask. Is this the new Callum from now on?
I stand back and let him inside.
He offers me the medal. I take a step forward, hand outstretched, ready to accept it. But he pulls back, just enough that my hand falters, pausing in mid-air.
His eyes lock on mine, firmly and piercingly.
"What?" I say, voice not as certain as before.
"I just..." The mask is off. He sounds normal again. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I fain oblivion.
"I'm sorry for what happened."
I realise it's the first time we've spoken in person since the kiss.
"For kissing me or for regretting it?" Why the fuck would I say that? I don't want to know the answer.
"I don't regret –" he cuts himself off. "It's inappropriate for us to talk like this." His authoritative voice reappears.
"Don't treat me like some stranger – not when we're alone."
"I'm not," he sighs, placing the medal in my hands. "Congratulations."
He walks out, and although he tries to stop himself, he slams the door. I flinch.
I cannot be productive after that. I save my assignment and go to bed.
.
.
.
On Monday it's the Athletics Carnival. People seem to be more interested in the anonymous threats to parliament on the news – pressuring the 'truth' to be revealed, or things will get ugly. What truth? I don't know. Do I care? Not in the slightest.
I'd like to think I'm quite good at athletics. However, I can't really tell because the only students that compete are scholarship kids – and they're here for their abilities. Like I am for ice-skating. The school caters to the rich, but to keep up its reputation against its competitors, it finds the most talented people it can and offers them scholarships. Rich kids don't need to work hard, so they profit off the talents of the poor. When they are interviewed for their future jobs, they have the reputation of the scholarship kids, even though they didn't contribute to it.
While sitting in the line up for triple jump, I see Alyssa crying. Her best friend, Chloe, and Chloe's boyfriend Gadi comfort her. Acacia and Perry stare too. Cherry, a girl from my English class, leans in and tells us that Drake just broke up with Alyssa.
What an asshole. Finals are next week; couldn't he have held off until after exams? How will she concentrate? I can't help but pity her.
Cherry stands up and takes her turn to triple jump. The teacher measuring her jump applauds loudly, telling her she broke the school record. I didn't realise Cherry was a scholarship kid. She's nosey – seems to be in everyone's business. How can an outsider be an insider?
Over the loudspeakers, I'm called to the office. Fuck. Did Svetkov find out about my sombre sleepover? I regret it enough as it is, I don't need any further punishment.
I walk to the office. The ladies there direct me to Glady's office and I sigh a breath of relief.
I take it back when I sit down in front of her. Gladys does not seem pleased.
"Jade, I have the results for your first assignments," Gladys says, leaning forward on her desk.
This can't be good.
"At this rate, you'll barely pass half your subjects."
I'm not surprised, but why does it matter? "I'm not here for academics," I say.
"Obviously," Gladys says, "but you can't stay here if you don't pass."
"What?"
"If you don't pass all of your subjects, I will be obligated to terminate your scholarship. You've never been this dangerously close to failing before. What's going on?"
"Nothing... it's my first semester post Tim, I guess."
"You want to go to nationals, don't you?"
I nod.
"I bet you'll want to go more if I remind you of the monetary prize."
My eyes widen, "prize?"
"Didn't you know there is compensation for winning?"
"And you're only telling me this now because its incentive to study?"
"Don't disappoint me," she says, flicking her wrist to shoo me from the room.
I stand up, "Gladys... I don't think I'm smart enough."
"You're a very bright girl, Jade. Use your strengths. You'll figure something out," she says, and I swear I see her wink at me.
What does that mean? Use your strengths. Studying is not my strength – so what does she think I should do?
.
.
.
The next morning, as Perry and I walk to homegroup, Callum walks over to us.
Perry goes bright red as he approaches, and I know it's because she's a bad liar, and a bad secret keeper. She knows we kissed, and being confronted by him is almost too much to stop her from bursting.
I'm proud of her when she keeps her mouth shut, eyes trained to the ground.
"Jade," he says, keeping pace with us. "Can I talk to you about something?"
"What is it, Coach Carver?" I ask, innocently.
He looks at me as though I've stirred some emotion within him, almost as if he's offended, but then regains his composure in the flick of a second. "I thought you should know that Ben and Marina broke up. You might want to give him a call and check up on him."
Perry suddenly grabs my hand. Maybe to drag me away, because staying here any longer she might blurt something out.
"Is he okay?" I ask.
"It hasn't been easy on him. They'd been together almost a year."
"I'll call him," I say. "And, thankyou."
He gives me a small, half smile, then walks off.
"Let's call him now," Perry says.
"We'll be late to class," I say.
"It's your brother!" she nudges me hard.
I take her advice. We sneak off to the bathrooms and call him. He seems comforted by our voices. We remind him that the sun always comes back out eventually, even though it seems cloudy now. He sounds a lot better than I expected, especially when Perry makes him laugh about stupid things.
They've always gotten along so well, and sometimes I get a bit jealous, because they bond over intelligent things – like maths and science and big words. I love Ben, but sometimes I think he'll always see me as a child to protect, and never an equal. It reminds me that I'm screwed for exams, and I only have one more week to prepare.
The bell rings – we missed homegroup. We make our way to study hall, which is the nice thing seniors get the week prior to exams. The next five days, we get to spend the whole eight hour long school day studying.
Waste of time, in my opinion. When am I going to use sin, cos and tan in the future? When will I need to know the bowels and intestines of Shakespeare's Hamlet? At what point will I need Harvard referencing?
I notice Alyssa sitting across from me. She seems to be attempting to focus. Her hair is unruly. Her eye bags are intense. I still can't get over how much of an asshole Drake is for dumping her the week before exams.
Chloe and Gadi sit beside her. Chloe looks like the main character – she has blonde hair, blue eyes and a tiny frame. Alyssa looks magnificent beside her, her tan skin and dark hair like midnight contrasting with the sun. Gadi is Lebanese, he looks far too mature to be in twelfth grade – his facial hair grows back at exceptional rates, even though the office ladies constantly send him to his dorm to shave. I think for a moment how racist that is, and how unfair such an expectation is especially on men with thicker and darker hair.
Imagine someone telling me to shave my legs? As part of a uniform? Yuck.
When the bell rings, I go to my room to study more. I know I need to focus now. The pressure is on. If I don't pass these exams, I might get expelled – I won't get to go to nationals, – again - I'll be sent to some other school, away from Ben, away from Perry, away from... Darcy.
Despite being weakly rooted, the idea of never seeing Darcy again makes my stomach lurch in a strange way.
What about Callum? Never seeing him again would be a blessing.
Someone wraps on my door, and I realise I'd been starring at the wall and spinning my pen for the last twenty minutes.
My phone buzzes.
Darcy: Can we go for a walk?
____________
2022 update — PERRY AND BEN—-
Thought i would address this here because it doesnt get addressed later.
In case u havent noticed, Jade is not very observant.
Yes, Ben did kiss Perry in the time he was with Marina to Jades knowledge. However, what's not discussed is that Marina lives a few towns away so they were long distance and they're relationship was on/ off. He didnt exactly cheat on Marina. Of course we dont find this out because Jade doesn't see the overlap in timelines (she's not the smartest). But since all u guys are smart obviously since ur reading a book in ur spare time - i thought i would clarify that for yall curious types. There's obviously more going on so keep reading. Some of it is out of Jade's perspective though.
sorry for the late update!
i hope you've been enjoying october academy so far. i promise it gets more saucy ;) and dramatic. so i hope you stick around!! thanks for reading till now.
love you guys a lot,
aurora