Chapter Nine - Tears
She took a seat in front of me. Kosh took the dropped book, closed it properly, then placed it on top of the table neatly. Both of us were watching Xamira closely as she looked at Kosh then at me, then turned her gaze back to Kosh, then back to me.
"It's nice to see you again, Safia," she said. "How do you feel?" How do I feel? I repeated.
"Hmm?" I asked, confused. "What do you mean, Magister Xamira?"
Why is she asking me how I feel right now? Am I supposed to be feeling something weird?
She smiled. Her smile wasn't a smile that beamed with joy. It was one that showed concern and somehow, love. "Tana said you weren't paying attention in her class."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I wasn't myself, and I didn't have enough sleep. Yesterday was such a big and tiring day for me, and a few hours of sleep were not enough. But I know that that isn't enough reason to zone out in her class. I'm sorry. Please, I promise that won't happen again."
"No, no, no," Magister Xamira said. "It's alright. I was just worried, Safia. But it would be better if you listen to your instructor next time."
"But Magister Xamir--" I was cut off by her soft and gentle voice.
"Just call me Xamira."
"X-Xamira...?" I voiced out.
She nodded, smiling, "Yes." Then she looked at Kosh. "Koshka, would you mind if I talk to Safia in private? I would like to discuss a few things with her."
Kosh left the library, leaving me, the woman who always stays inside the library, and Xamira alone in the room. I lowered my gaze, waiting for Xamira to start telling me what we needed to discuss about. I sat quietly on my chair as she stood up and took Kosh's seat, the one beside mine.
"You know very well that there was a reason why we really wanted to take you in here," she began. "Right, Safia?"
I nodded slowly, careful of my actions. "Yes," I said clearly.
"I just want you to understand that whatever the other magisters do to you, they're just doing it for the sake of Aethelgard. For them, it's nothing personal, and it's nothing different." She adjusted her position, moving clockwise so she was facing me, then she placed her hand on my shoulder. "Listen to me, Safia," she said. "We have lived for more than a hundred years protecting Aethelgard. We have encountered lots of monsters and lots of people who posed a threat to Aethelgard, but this time, things are different. I don't know why, but you have to help us in this thing, Safia. You're the only one who can help us." I was the only one who can help them? My body stiffened when Remekiah wrapped himself around me, getting tighter and tighter. What was he doing? I..It hurt. Why was he doing this to me? "Is something wrong, Safia?" Xamira asked.
Oh, no. She... She mustn't find out about Remekiah Whatever happens, Xamira mustn't find out that Remekiah was here with me. "I... I'm sorry." I pushed the chair backwards and stood up straight with my arms wrapped around my chest. "I uhh... I don't feel well, Magis--Xamira."
"Oh, it's okay," she said, nodding. "Maybe we can talk next time. Do you need any help?" Xamira tried to reach for my shoulder, but Remekiah's hold made my body twitch horribly.
"Uh, no. It's...I'm fine. I mean, it's okay. I can go back to my room on my own. Thank you, anyway," I replied too quickly.
And before I could hear Xamira's reply, I was running out of the library and rushing back to my room to get things straight with the snake who's actions are getting me in trouble. Well, actually, he was getting himself in trouble.
My heart raced as I made my way back to my room. Surprisingly, I found my way back without getting lost even though I was finding my way back on my own. Maybe it was because I was so determined to return to my room and yell at Remekiah for doing this to me. I didn't understand. If he didn't want anyone else to find out that he was here, why was he hurting me? Why was he doing things that will only get us in trouble? My questions kept on echoing in my head. I wanted to get answers quickly. I wanted to know why things were going like this.
My heart was still pounding loudly when I closed the door and leaned on it, trying to calm myself down. I closed my eyes. Breathe in. breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out, I chanted to myself. Then slowly, I felt Remekiah loosening his hold. The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Remekiah's long body sprawled on the floor. That was when I noticed he was panting, like he was terribly exhausted. All my questions and frustrations was blown away, and the only thing that was left was concern.
"Remekiah," I called, gently scooping him up, then I sat on my bed, Remekiah still in my arms. "Remekiah, what's wrong?"
His body was slightly twitching, his mouth a little open. "Ssss...afia."
"R-Remekiah? Wh-What's wrong?" Tears were forming around my eyes. He looked like...like he was...dying. What was happening to him? I had to do something quick, but I didn't know how to help someone dying like this.
Then his heavy breathing stopped, which made my eyes widen even more and my jaw drop to the ground. Voiceless, I tried to wake him up. I tried to pat his scaly face repeatedly with my hand, chanting the words "Please wake up." in my head. Remekiah coughed, like he was finally resuscitated, which made my face light up.
I held him tenderly, then I asked him, "Remekiah, what happened?"
He continued coughing, his eyes still closed, then his coughing stopped.
"Remekiah...?" I voiced out.
I waited in silence. I looked at his face and waited and waited and waited. He wasn't moving. I couldn't hear him breathe, either. I didn't know what was happening to him.
Then he burst out laughing. "You should've seen your face, Safia!" he laughed.
I pushed him away as hard as I could, sending him flying towards the wall, sliding down the smooth floor. "I hate you," I spat back then tried to think of something to do.
As I opened my closet, my eyes landed on a pile of clothes that were not folded properly. I took them all out of my closet and sat on the floor, grabbing my favorite dress in the process. While I was folding my dress neatly, I heard Remekiah crawl towards me, hissing, but I ignored him. I was mad at him, and if I talked to him or let him explain, I wouldn't be able to stay mad at him.
Remekiah climbed on top of the pile and hissed at me. I kept my face expressionless and continued folding my clothes neatly and placing them properly inside the closet. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could see his confused face. I couldn't help but sneer. Now he was being confused?
"Safia, I'm sorry," he apologized.
I acted like I didn't hear him. I didn't want to. So I continued folding my clothes.
"Look, Safia, I was kidding," he explained. "I didn't know you would take it seriously."
You thought I wouldn't take it seriously? I asked him mentally, though I knew he wouldn't hear me. Wow, maybe he forgot the fact that I see him as one of my closest friends. And mind you, I only have two friends.
"But thanks for worrying about me," he said. "But I'm sorry for--"
"Remekiah," I called, looking at him with the most expressionless face I could make. "I'm mad at you, and I want to stay mad at you because you deserve it. So please, if you don't want me to throw you out of my room and never let you inside ever again, get out of my room and don't come back until I let you."
"But--"
I cut him off, "Get. Out."
His face fell as he looked at my face and saw that I was serious and I had no plan of taking back what I told him. I felt my heart break as he reluctantly crawled his way out of my room, but I had to resist the urge to take back what I said. He tricked me. He played with my feelings. He made me worry about him when he was just kidding around and acting like he was about to die.
Sniff. Sniff. There was someone sniffing inside the room. Clearly, it wasn't me. Then I saw someone inside the room from the corner of my eye. I raised my eyes and saw the man who was sniffing. "D-Dante," I breathed. Saying his name felt so good. It was as if his name gently caressed my lips as it left my mouth. The next thing I did was look at his eyes, and I was surprised to see something glistening in his eyes.
Since I was sitting on the floor, he crouched down, then he slowly reached out his hand and caressed my cheek. His colors were very vibrant. Surprisingly, he illuminated my dark room.
I felt my tears threatening to pour down my face as I gazed at his face, at his eyes. I thought he was going to talk, so I waited for him to say something. But he didn't. Reaching out to feel his tear-stained cheek, I asked him, "Why?"
He shook his head but didn't say anything.
I took his gesture as a sign that he didn't want to tell me why he wept and didn't insist on asking him anymore. Not that I didn't want to know why, I just felt that if he could, he would've told me. Maybe the reason was too big for me. Maybe I didn't need to know because I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Or maybe it was just better if I didn't know.
His hands cupped my face as we sat there in silence. I closed my eyes and let my face relax on his palms. They were fairly soft and gentle, which was quite surprising. As far as I could remember, my mother once mentioned that men had rough hands. Why his hands were soft was a reason I didn't know, but it wasn't a big deal. Not that I didn't care, it was just that I didn't really want to compare Dante with a common man because he wasn't just any man. He was Dante. He was the man I loved. He was the man I had always dreamed of.
The door burst open, and it slammed on the wall. Slam! "Safia!" he hissed. "You are not going to believe this."
Startled, I quickly turned to the door and saw Remekiah hissing. I was about to tell Dante not to leave yet, but when I turned back to him, he was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dante finally made his second appearance that wasn't in a dream! ...He didn't talk, though. xD