After school Josie comes over just because she knows I am about to go out with Carson. My parents try to stop her but we just run to my room and lock ourselves in. Parents can be so oblivious sometimes.
"Josie, stop messing around. You know Carson and I are going to go out later."
"Maybe I don't want to share either." She says before kissing me.
I kiss her back and I feel my stomach flip when she pushes me down on the bed and gets on top of me.
"Josie—" I try to say something, but she kisses me again.
When I try to push her off, she pins my arms down.
"Magnolia!" I shout between kisses and she stops.
For a moment we just lay there catching our breaths.
"I love you, Kat," she whispers against my lips.
"Josie...I love you too. But—"
"No, no buts. You love me, I love you, what else is there?"
"But, I have to end things with Carson first," I add.
"Tonight, you'll end it tonight?"
"Okay, tonight. I will."
"Promise?"
I nod.
She sighs and lets my hands go, resting her forehead against mine. I cup her face in my hands and lightly kiss her. She quickly kisses me back. I run my fingers through her hair and deepen the kiss.
She moans into my mouth.
The magic is there again, full force. The weird feelings I can't explain. That gooey mush that I become. It's so weird to be in love with someone you've known for a long time. Someone you never used to love like that before.
She slides her hands up my shirt and I help her by pulling back and taking it off, flinging it somewhere.
"I wish we were alone," she whispers against my skin as she trails kisses down my chest.
"Emm... me too. Maybe if we are quiet." I moan softly.
"Or," she straddles me and looks down on me. "You could blow off Carson and you and I could find somewhere more private to go."
"Josie," I glare at her.
She sighs and gets off of me.
"I just need a little more time, then you can have me whenever you want me," I say.
She pulls me into her arms and I nuzzle into her.
"Just break up with him over text or something." She grumbles.
Before I can respond the doorbell rings. I quickly shoot out of her arms and pull my shirt back on.
"That's just cruel," I say.
She sighs.
"Soon," I peck her on the lips before I get up and fix up my hair a bit before slipping my shoes on and going downstairs.
"Kat you are grounded," Dad says as Carson stands awkwardly in the doorway.
"We are just going for a walk," I lie.
Before he can argue I grab Carson's hand and run out the door.
Josie comes downstairs and we share a look before she leaves.
"I don't want to get you in trouble," Carson says.
"It's fine, my parents are stupid anyway," I say.
He frowns at me but doesn't argue.
"Why are you grounded?" he asks.
"I'm still grounded from that pride protest we started. That's how dumb my parents are." We walk towards his house.
"Oh."
"Anyway, where are we going tonight?" I ask.
"Well, my parents let me borrow their car, so I was thinking a movie?"
"Sure," I smile.
I know I'm dragging this out but how exactly am I supposed to break up with a guy like him! I can't just lay it on him all of a sudden and break his heart. He's nice, and I still like him. We've been friends for a while. What if he hates me forever?
I'll just explain it after the movie, that way I'll have enough time to think of a good explanation. I'll just tell him that I fell in love with someone else. Someone who I have been seeing behind his back the whole time we were together... yeah I have to think of something else to say.
When we get to the movies I let him pick one out and he buys me popcorn and soda. It's some lovey-dovey romance movie. So cringe. He holds my hand almost the whole time. I just want to bury my head in the popcorn and scream.
This is a nightmare.
Breaking up with assholes like Bryson is easy. Breaking up with someone sweet like Carson is like nails on a chalkboard.
"You okay?" he whispers to me.
Even though we are like the only people here.
Not only has this movie been out for a few weeks already, but it's a Monday night. Not exactly prime movie-watching time.
"Yeah, why?" I turn to him.
"You seem, different." He said.
"Different how?"
"Like I don't know, not you. Not Kat. Like, you don't really want to be here right now."
Stupid face, making me way too obvious. Okay, I should just do it now, get it over with.
"Carson, you are a really sweet guy." I start.
"Thanks, Kat," he smiles.
Before I can elaborate he kisses me.
No!
Ugh!
What am I doing? Can I really just dump him? I've wanted this for so long. And he's a great guy. Sweet, enduring, dorky. All I've ever wanted. Maybe... maybe getting involved with Josie was a mistake.
I deepen the kiss.
Yet, no matter how hard I try, I don't feel a spark with him. Not like I feel with her. I don't get that thrill. I don't become charged with unexplainable energy vital to my very being. It's just a kiss, a kiss where I feel nothing.
He pulls back, his cheeks rosy with blush.
I force an awkward smile.
"Kat, you're amazing. You were the first person to ever be my friend. You didn't care how weird I was, didn't care what everyone else thought about me. You... you make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Never in a million years would I have thought someone as pretty and cool as you would go for a guy like me. I just want to say thank you, for making me feel like I'm living in some rom-com movie."
Ouch.
Twist the knife harder why don't you.
How am I supposed to break up with someone after a complement like that!?
Ugh.
"Thanks, I think you're pretty great too. Now pay attention, you're missing the movie." I playfully poke him in the stomach.
He giggled before looking back at the screen.
So glad he's not looking at me now, who knows what my face would say. Probably something along the lines of how cringy and horrifying this situation is. I am so stupid. I should have just listened to Josie and never dated him to begin with.
Then again Josie should have just told me how she felt a long time ago!
If Josie would have just told me I would have never gotten involved with Carson in the first place! So technically this is her fault.
My phone vibrates from a new text.
I look to see a text from Josie.
'Bathroom, now.'
Did she follow me!?
What the fuck!?
Not cool.
"Hey, I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." I whisper.
"I can go with."
"No, save our seats. I'll be right back."
"Okay."
I peck him on the lips before walking out of the theater. I walk over to the nearest bathroom and walk inside.
"Hello? Josie?" I call.
The big stall door swings open and she pulls me inside.
I yelp in surprise.
"What are you doing!?" I whisper.
"What are you doing!? I saw you kiss him."
"You're spying on me!?"
"No, I just so happened to go to the movies too."
"And see the same exact movie as me at the same exact time?" I cross my arms.
She huffs and averts her eyes.
"Stalker much!?" I say.
"Just break up with him already." She hisses.
"I'm trying! If you would stop interrupting."
"Didn't look like you were trying to me."
"Stop spying on me," I turn to leave.
"Kat wait," She follows me.
"Unforgiveable Josie, this is worse than what Bryson did." I say.
"How is this worse?" she follows me back to the theater.
"Because I trusted you to let me handle this. Obviously, you don't trust me. At least Bryson and I knew where we stood. I feel so disgusted right now." I shake my head.
I push open the theater doors and walk back in.
"Kat I love you," she grabs me by the wrist.
Behind us, the screen plays out a very similar scene.
"You of all people should know how toxic this is," I said.
"Maybe it would be toxic if he was just a friend but you and I both know that's not the case."
"Josie," I sigh.
"Years of watching you fall for the wrong guy over and over, I won't stand by and let it happen again. I'm tired of being just the best friend Kat. I'm tired of coming in second place. I want... I want to be the one that can hold your hand and kiss you in public. I want to be the one that takes you to the movies and buys you popcorn. I want to be your everything."
"What has gotten into you?" I sigh.
"You have. I'm done pretending. This is me Kat, the real me. The me that's in love with you."
I take a calming breath and grab her hands in my own.
"I'll do it, tonight. Just give me time. Please."
She has a sad look on her face.
"Just trust me," I beg.
She nods.
I lean up and kiss her, she wraps her arms around me and kisses me back.
We start making out right there, just one wall divider away from Carson. I can't deny she makes me feel so many things. Things I don't feel with him.
"Let's ditch this place, I need you," she whispers against my lips.
I'm tempted to say yes but I know I have to do this or else this guilt will just eat me away.
"Can't, not tonight. Tomorrow, I'll come over tomorrow and I'll be all yours. Officially." I whisper.
She sighs.
I kiss her one last time.
"Go home Josie, I'll see you tomorrow," I say.
"Okay, promise, promise it ends tonight?"
"Promise," I assure her.
"Okay, I trust you." she smiles.
"Good, now go! You're making me miss the movie." I complain.
"I've seen it already; she picks the best friend." She winks at me as she walks off.
"Spoiler alert, jerk," I grumble.
I quickly walk back to my seat, Carson none the wiser of what transpired only feet away from him.
"Sorry, there was a line. You know us girls." I lie.
"No worries, the best friend just confessed. Now she's confused on who to pick." He fills me in on what I missed.
"Thanks," I look back at the screen.
"No problem," he pecks me on the cheek before he grabs my hand in his, interlocking our fingers.
How, how am I going to do this?