Harrys P.O.V:
*3 days later*
I really want to ask Bella out on a date.
An actual date. Am I supposed to dress up formally and take her to dinner or something? I'm contemplating on what to do because I remember her saying something about going out and eating is boring.
My mind is wandering with all these thoughts as I'm typing out a prescription for one of my patients. I click the send button on the corner, sending off the prescription to their pharmacy without thinking much of it.
"I sent the prescription to the Pharmacy you have in the system. You can pick it up in about 15 minutes." I tell them as the child and his mom greets me goodbye.
"Bye, have a nice day!" I tell them with a smile as I close the door behind them. As soon as they're gone, I fall back in my seat, taking a deep breath to try and relax.
I go back on my computer, exiting out of the files for the previous patient until I see that I sent out the wrong dosage for the prescription.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I type the address of the pharmacy on my desktop, looking for their phone number and dialing it into the office phone.
"Hello, Dr. Styles from NYU Langone hospital. I recently sent a prescription for Amoxicillin about 10 minutes ago. Did you receive it and do you know if they picked it up already?" I blurt out all at once.
"Calm down sir, you said Amoxicillin at 12:42? That's what I'm seeing here."
"Yes, I made a mistake on the dosage. Can you resend it, changing the dosage to 300 mg every 8 hours?"
"Give me a second." He says and I hear him typing through the phone. My head is pounding and I haven't even made it through half of the day yet.
"Okay, I sent a new prescription sir. Have a good day!"
"You too, goodbye." I say, hanging up the phone.
It's only like 1 pm and I already fucked up today. On top of that, I have an appointment at 1:30. I decide to text Bella, you know, to calm my nerves a bit.
To Bella: Hi x
To Bella: How are you?
The message is read and I see her typing. I put the phone down for a bit, taking a sip of water and using my thumb and index finger to massage my forehead.
I hear my text tone go off and I check to see her message.
From Bella: Hi Harry :)
From Bella: I'm good, u?
To Bella: Alright I guess.
From Bella: no :(((
From Bella: what happened?
How am I supposed to tell her that I messed up a prescription because I was thinking about her?
To Bella: Just a lot of patients coming in today. I messed up a prescription but I fixed it on time :(
I tell her, leaving out some parts. Moments like this make me feel like this whole doctor thing wasn't made for me. I've spent too much money on tuition and med school to back out now.
It doesn't help when my father started taking money out of my tuition funds to use towards his own problems. The thought of my father pisses me off, I don't know why I'm putting myself in this position. I'll probably end up going to the gym, later on, to blow off some steam. I spin around in my chair for a little bit until checking my phone again.
From Bella: whoever has you as their doctor is more than lucky <3 don't stress too much about the prescription, at least you fixed it
From Bella: Just know that I'm so proud of you. You take up so much responsibility everyday, you should be proud of yourself.
I really needed that right now.
To Bella: Thank you so much, Bels. It means a lot to me. I have an appointment in a few minutes, talk to you later? X
I put my phone down and fix up the office, waiting for the next patient. I pull up their information on my computer and stand by as they walk in.
-
My shift finally ends and I clock out of the building, making my way to my car. I enter the address of the gym into the GPS and start driving.
I don't know why I feel so worked up today. I haven't hit the gym in a few weeks but I'll probably focus on boxing.
As I'm driving, my phone starts ringing. The name pops up on the tablet of the car, reading out "Dad".
Great.
He hasn't called me in months, what the fuck does he want from me now?
I decline the phone call and continue driving, only for him to call again. I pick up the phone otherwise he'll end up bothering me the whole day.
"Dad."
"Harry.... how are you, son? I missed you." He slurs.
Fuck, why now?
"How much have you been drinking? Be honest."
"I'm not drinking, I just want to talk to my son." He slurs out, coughing at the end.
"Where's Mike? How the fuck did he let you get like this?"
Mike is supposed to be my father's sponsor but apparently, he's not doing a good fucking job.
"Mike is busy..."
"Where are you? I'm picking you up right now."
"Somewhere... I don't need you to pick me up."
"What don't you understand? I've spent my own hard-earned money towards you, trying to help however much I can. I'm still in debt yet it's like I have to parent you. You're my father. You were supposed to take care of me."
I miss my old dad.
"I do take care of you, Harry."
He has to be kidding me.
"Don't even start with this bullshit right now. How have you taken care of me? Does taking money from my own tuition funds mean caring?" I get off the local road and park in front of a fire hydrant. I can't drive in this state.
"I-"
"No, just tell me where the fuck you are. I can't deal with this anymore. I miss mum." I tell him, trying to hold back my tears.
"Hello?" I speak as the car goes silent. He hangs up the phone on me.
Instead of going to the gym, I make a u-turn, driving towards his house in Brooklyn. I noticed the faint sounds of cars honking and police sirens during the call so he has to be at a local bar.
What did I do to deserve this? I miss when dad used to take Gemma and I to the corner shop to stock up on sweets. I miss when dad used to take us fishing at the lake near our old house. I miss when dad loved us.
My grip on the steering wheel becomes stronger as all these waves of emotions start hitting me. I can't do this.
I pull over once again, taking a deep breath. My heart is beating rapidly and I feel like I'm about to pass out. I start taking a sip of water and try to steady my breathing, guiding myself to relax.
It's been about three minutes and I still feel the same. I call up Bella to try and distract myself.
"Hi, Harry! I missed you."
"Bella... I need you. Help me." I say in between breaths, trying to stop the heart palpitations.
"Harry, baby, what happened? I'm here. You're okay. I got you." She says, her tone becoming more serious.
Her words have the tears streaming down, out of my eyes as I try and bring the words out of my mouth.
"My dad... I can't do this Bella, I can't do this anymore."
"Breathe slowly, remember what you told me? You said I make you feel relaxed? I'm going to FaceTime you right now okay?"
"You can't see me like this, though." I say, cleaning the tears off my eyes with the fabric of my scrubs I'm still in.
"This won't make me see you any different. You're still the same Harry I met a few weeks ago. I'm hanging up now and I'm going to video call you. Please pick up." She hangs up the phone, only to FaceTime call this time. I pick up her call and she looks at the state of me, her eyes softening as she takes a seat on what looks like her couch.
"It's too much Bella. I don't know what to do with myself." I tell her, crying into the phone and opening the glovebox for some actual tissues.
"Harry, it hurts me to see you like this. After you're done wiping your eyes, look at me, baby."
I clean myself up and look at her, trying to contain myself.
"Okay Harry, take a deep breath. Point out five things around you for me."
"Five things I see around me. Steering wheel, phone, water bottle...erm... gum packet, coffee shop outside." I tell her, making myself aware of my surroundings.
"Good job, Harry. Can I tell you a story about something that happened to me when I was younger ?"
"Please."
"When I was around 15, I was seeing this guy. I think we were dating for a few weeks and I thought I loved him so much, to the point where I was almost obsessed with him. You know, a teenage girl being infatuated by the older boy that paid interest to her?"
I nod my head and she continues speaking, trying to create a steady pace for my breathing.
"His name was Alex, and one day I came over to his house. His parents weren't home so we ended up making out for a bit until he told me to give him a blowjob. I was a virgin at the time and I had no idea what to do. He took off his pants and then as I was about to... you know... do it to him. I grabbed his dick and I accidentally... used my teeth."
I start laughing at her words, forgetting my problems for a little while.
"Anyways, I used my teeth and then he screamed. I thought it was a scream of pleasure so I kept doing it and all of a sudden he shouted stop. Basically what I'm saying is I almost bit his dick off."
She laughs on the line with me until we start to settle down.
"Harry, when you're ready to talk to me about what happened, please let me know. You can come over right now and we can do something fun, like bake some cookies or watch The Notebook again!"
"I would love to... but I can't. I have to look for my dad."
"Why do you need to look for him? If you don't feel comfortable answering you don't have to."
"No it's fine, he called me while I was getting out of work and he sounded super drunk you know? He was slurring out his words and kept saying that he misses me. He refused to tell me where he is and I was supposed to drive to his neighborhood to look for him, but I ended up having that anxiety attack."
"Harry, I don't think you're in the right state to look for him. You just overcame your anxiety attack and seeing him might trigger those feelings again. Do you have anyone to check up on him or anything?"
"Erm... not really. I know his sponsor from AA, Mike, but I don't have his number."
"So he relapsed? Again, if I overstep please let me know."
"Bella, you're fine. Yes, he relapsed after doing good for months."
"Do you know where the AA meeting group is located? I'm sure we could call them up and we'll be able to find Mike from there." She says as she gets up from her couch, retrieving her laptop and then taking a seat again.
"Yes... erm... it's called Northside AA Group." I tell her, feeling a wave of guilt for opening up to someone other than Niall about my dad for the first time.
She puts her phone down on the laptop, and I see her typing until she finds the right place.
"Wait, let me go get the landline phone so we can stay on call."
She gets up again, getting the landline as she dials their number into the phone.
"Harry, I'll probably need some of your dad's information. Just his name and the sponsor's name for now."
"Yeah, okay. My dad's name is Desmond Styles, and his sponsor's name is Mike but I don't remember his last name."
She calls, putting the phone on speaker for both of us to hear.
"Gia from Northside AA Group, how can I help you?" I hear the receptionist say.
"Hi, I'm looking for a sponsor. My friend's father was registered here, he goes by the name Desmond Styles. His sponsor's name was Mike?" She says into the phone, looking at me for approval.
I give her a nod and thumbs up, patiently waiting for what the receptionist has to say.
"Yes, I have a Desmond Styles in the system and his sponsor is Mike Garcia."
"Mr. Styles happened to relapse, and he called his son. We're trying to get in contact with Mike if that's possible."
"Oh no sweetie, I'm pulling up his information right now. Do you know if there was something that triggered him to relapse?"
Bella looks at me and I shrug my shoulders.
"I don't know what specifically happened, he just called me up all of a sudden talking about how much he misses me." I tell Bella.
"His son is saying that he doesn't know what happened. He got a phone call from his dad saying how much he missed him."
"He wouldn't tell me where he is either." I tell Bella as she tells the receptionist.
"I understand." She says as she gives us Mike's contact information and Bella types it into her laptop.
"Thank you for your help, Gia. Have a good night." Bella says as she hangs up the phone.
"I sent you a text message with his information, did you get it?"
"Yeah, thank you so much, Bella. I'm sorry for shoving my problems in your face."
"Harry, never apologize for that. You know you can always call me whenever something's up, alright?"
"Yeah, same goes for you, Bella. Thank you for everything today. I'll call Mike up now, I guess."
"Yes, do that. When you're done you can come to my place if you don't want to be alone. Just let me know beforehand."
"Okay, Bella. Have a good night, baby. I'll let you know."
"Bye Harry." She says and I hang up the phone, looking at the text message she sent me.
I dial Mike's number into my phone, waiting for a response.
"Hello? Is this Mike Garcia?" I speak on the phone.
"Yes, who's this?"
"Desmond Styles' son, Harry. Shouldn't you be looking after him? Isn't the whole point of you being his sponsor mean helping him not relapse?" I blurt out, getting myself angry again.
"Whoa, slow down for a second. He relapsed?"
"Yes, he fucking did. He called me and it was obvious that he's drinking a lot. I can't see him like this right now but is it possible if you look for him?"
"Of course, I'm sorry. I'll go look for him and he needs to detox."
"You should be fucking sorry. Please call me when you find him and let me know if you don't."
"Yeah, yeah, have a good night." He says and I hang up the phone.