"WE WERE SO IN LOVE."
NOVEMBER 24, 2013 — 13: 11 PM
"Yihwa!" I heard, causing me to stick my earbud in. I sighed as I continued walking to my last class, ready to admire that boy from afar. He's been on my mind since yesterday, and I just can't get his slight smirk off my fucking brain. I fiddle with his lighter in my pocket, feeling the edges of something I wish I could pull out and show everyone.
I left his cigarettes on the street. I don't smoke.
But his lighter... it was pretty.
"Yang Yihwa!" If it's that fucking chick again who denied a ride, I'm going to fucking—
"Yihwa," Someone grabbed my collar, causing me to step back. I suck in my breath, feeling the soft tug against my shoulder. Instantly turning my head, there Beomgyu stood, a hand holding his chest as he coughed slightly. He looked like he sweats so much getting here, and with a click in my head, he must've been the one calling me. "I know you and I both have class soon, but—but I..."
I blink as I remember my water bottle, looking down at my books before seeing the pink bottle. I can barely blush before fully turning around, handing him my water bottle. He sighed a bit as he hit his chest once more, seizing my water bottle before opening it and directly placing his lips on it.
As I lick my lips, I gulp. We indirectly kissed, didn't we?
He placed his lips... where mine was... Yihwa, you won, didn't you.
Your small, starting crush just indirectly placed his lips on yours!
"Right, thank you," He breathed, closing the lid before handing it back to me. As I place it back in my hold, both hands placed themselves on my shoulders, causing me to flinch. "Can you come to the basketball court today? The outdoor one—I want to hang out."
"Oh, uh—what time?" I said, checking my watch. "Because I also have to go study after class—"
"Then we can just go to the library," He softly suggested, nodding slightly as he bit his bottom lip. "I just... want to hang out with you."
He's super energetic, it's cute.
"Okay," I said, grinning at him as I struggled to keep my hands to myself. I wanted to run my hands through his hair and be able to hug him close—but I wasn't dating him, I couldn't have him to myself. "...Okay."
"Okay," He sighed out, leaning back as he slowly ran his hands down to my arms—then my forearms before removing his hands. "See you at three, then?"
"Yeah, see you at three," I eye-smiled, waving to him as he waved back—before running around the small outdoor corridor into his classroom with his other friends. I blinked slightly, pretending as if my heart wasn't running 500 miles a minute and as if I felt like I was going to die from his stare. So, I almost buckled my knees from taking a step—and only when the reminder bell rang for me to get to class, did I run my ass to class so I'd be able to admire a Choi Beomgyu in his ever-so-perfect habitat.
"Hello class, today we will be learning about romance," Ms. Kang said, causing me to turn my head. What great timing to learn about something that involves Choi Beomgyu. "Please open your book to page one-sixty—"
She tuned out as I face the window again, leaning my elbow against the windowsill. There, Beomgyu sat, playing with his pen. He placed it in-between his lips, biting on it softly as he leans forward in his seat. He passed his friend a note, Beomgyu laughing as he leans on the window as well.
I grinned watching him be so... open with people. Maybe because we just met, maybe because I saw him almost damage the flowers and his lungs—that he's still a little shy with me. As I continued to admire him, his eyes suddenly turn my way—and at that moment, he and I both realized I had been caught.
So, as I sat up, widening my eyes as he stared back at me—he suddenly smirks. I blinked watching him, his body fully turning to the window as he props his chin on his hand. Leaning his elbow against the windowsill, his doe eyes peeked into mine. His lips started to move, but at least I could keep up. "What?"
"What?" I mouthed back, a small smile forming on my lips. "What are you looking at?"
"You," He mouthed back boldly, grinning before he covers his mouth like a cute child. Turning the other way to say something to his friend, he spun back around to meet my eyes again. He played around with me, waving his head around from side to side as I chuckle.
"Class is almost over," He mouthed, beckoning to the clock. So, turning my head to the clock—he was right, the class had passed by so fast and I hadn't learned one thing. Turning back to him, he was facing his teacher, gnawing on the pen again. The bell rang, everyone getting up—including me and my happy limbs.
"Remember to finish the three pages I assigned by the next class!" We all said goodbye to Ms. Kang, everyone piling out of class like a swarm of fish. From afar, I saw Beomgyu charging through the crowd, rounding the corner as he holds his textbook in his hand. So, instead of meeting him halfway, I let him meet me by the water fountain, jogging over as his hair slicked back.
Pausing in front of me, he pulled out his hand. I glanced down at it, eyes raised as I have no idea what he wants. He chuckles, beckoning to his hand—before it softly intertwined with mine. I immediately realized that he was holding it like a delicate piece of glass as if I was someone he'd beg not to break. "Let's go study."
I stared at him, mouth agape. "O—Okay."
We sat next to each other in the library, his hand still tangled with mine. Even when I went to go get my textbooks to read, he was holding my hand! How cute—he looked like a lost puppy following me around.
So, now we sit together, the boy opening up his book. I physically had to pull my hand out of his grip, a small, devious smile playing on his lips. I chuckled, opening my English textbook as I compare the two books.
Placing the pen between my lips just like Beomgyu used to do, I searched through my bag to find my hair tie. In the corner of my eye is a watching Beomgyu, the boy gulping as his eyes viewed the pen playing between my lips. Both of our thoughts were corrupt on the topic of wanting to kiss and hug, nothing more than dating and being together. I knew that look well—all because I used that look when thinking of him too.
Finally finding my hair tie, I take out my pen from my lips and set it down on the table—to which Beomgyu followed the movements of such an inanimate object. Once it was set down, he looked back up at me, knees to himself as he sat improperly in the table chair.
"Let me tie your hair for you," He suddenly voiced out, instantly making me spin my head towards him.
"Ah, no, it's okay—"
"No, I want to practice," He interrupted me sassily, grabbing the green hair tie from my hands and poking my face until I faced the window. I gulp, stiffening as his hands continue to brush strands of my hair above the nape of my neck. I was getting antsy the more electrifying his touch became, wondering how I'd look in the mirror with his hand-touched ponytail.
He proceeded to brush and caress my hair within the countless attempts he tried to tie my hair up—so I started to read the answered textbook while he continued to practice. I switched between the two books, hearing Beomgyu's soft whines and disapproving noises whenever I moved out of his grasp.
Each noise, each pull, each heartbeat, I grew closer to Beomgyu. After the countless minutes that turned into hours spent at the library, his hands drag down my neck in an electrifying touch. I raise an eyebrow when I can't feel his hands anymore—
And as I turned around, he sat still in the chair, his head propped against his knees as his eyes fluttered closed. Poor baby—he was truly tired. So, facing him, I slightly turn him as quietly as I could despite knowing damn well he'd wake up—but surprisingly, he didn't. I wonder if all that ponytail work stressed him too much.
I allowed his head to—instead—lay on my shoulder, my pen antsy as it tapped against the thin paper. The pen bled through the paper, tainting my English notes—and with that, I took it as a sign to stop writing and studying.
I simply viewed the outside world with a sleeping Beomgyu next to me, resisting the urge...
His hair... it looked so pretty.
His facial features, it was hard to resist the urge to just... poke.
I wonder what would happen if I do.
So, I do. I pressed my hand softly against his hair, running my hands through his locks. I can barely keep myself together as he snuggled closer, obviously liking the light skinship. So, I resumed while I read one of the books he had picked out, silently flipping through the pages to ignore any other urges that would surge through my body.
Would anything have been different if I didn't stop him from lighting that cigarette in that pretty garden I accidentally found—never getting to meet him? Would anything have been different if I only stared at him with my own pair of doe eyes—and he never got to see me?
Would this love foolish me be so swooned by Choi Beomgyu if I never knew his name—or if I never saw his dancing physique in that classroom across mine?
I wonder well... if I'd still get to meet with him like this—if I'd get to look like someone in love with him, and in this scenario, hopefully, he feels the same.
But even me, a freshman with no sense of credibility, no sense of realizing right or wrong—could question his perfect love for someone so imperfect. I couldn't understand what has him so energetic, so caught up on me when I am nothing like him—but I guess two positives can make a negative, right!?
We're both negatives—people who both have flaws, have mistakes—but I just haven't seen his "negative" yet.
Time is ready to pass, I should be going home now.
So, why am I still here?
"Beomgyu," I shrugged him slightly, hearing a soft hum. "Choi Beomgyu."
"Yes," He replied, my hands leaving his hair. "Ah, no... please, Yihwa—do it one more time."
I awkwardly obliged, placing my hand back in his hair as I moved it around. He grinned, his eyes finally opening. His light brown orbs stare into my own pair of hazel, lips pressed against each other as we accidentally stare too long.
So, clearing my throat, I glanced away, hearing his soft chuckle over a mistakenly delicate moment. I was going to lose it before I could ever ask him about his feelings—he'd make me go crazy before I could tell him I love him.
He made everyone crazy—and I wish I could've realized that sooner.
"You need to go home now, right?" He mentioned, causing me to nod. Both of us stand up, walking out of the library just as we returned the textbooks. He faced me the whole time walking to the front, giving me a soft pat on my shoulder. "Let me walk you home—it's dark."
Good excuse, Choi Beomgyu.
It's literally 5:30 PM—and you're lucky the sun is gone from my sight. So, I nodded in agreement (because god KNOWS what would happen if I refused... he'd probably pull me along anyways) and we talked all the way home, leaving my heart a racing mess and my brain with messed up signals.
Could there be a possibility, that even the perfect freshman, Choi Beomgyu—could love me? The imperfect Yihwa, the girl who can't even bitch about anyone to their face.
Could there be that slight, slight possibility... that I could be getting my first love story?