I was incredibly grateful to him for changing the subject.
"Lou...-is?" Harry asked uncertainly as he booted up the laptop. I couldn't suppress a noisy giggle. "It's okay, you can call me by my nickname again."
He grinned gratefully and gave me a look at his beautiful, and especially straight, teeth. As if at the push of a button, I pressed my lips together. My teeth, especially the lower ones, were probably my greatest insecurity.
Harry didn't seem to notice my reaction. Or he skilfully ignored it because he went on undeterred. "Well, if you don't mind, maybe I would change my clothes quickly. You can choose a movie during this time. I mean the jeans are really uncomfortable and I..." His cheeks turned slightly red. he seemed to notice himself that his attempt at justification alone made the situation awkward.
"Just don't try any further. You only make it worse." I commented with a sassy subtone.
Once again, he was visibly ashamed. "Just go, sweet cakes." I instructed him.
When the curly boy disappeared into the bathroom, which was next to my room, I realized that I had no idea where to look for films.
"Harry?!"
I heard my own voice crack and Harry's goofy, hysterical laugh in response.
"Stop laughing." Offended, I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Harry came out the door. Shirtless, hoodie in hand. I couldn't help but look at him when he came up to me. His gaze followed mine, he grinned knowingly, at least that's what I imagined. Then he hurried to slip into his hoodie and leaned over to me to click a file folder on his laptop.
"Well, I didn't have time to download new movies. I hope that little selection is okay, too." He explained, brushing a curl from his forehead.
I scanned the names of the film files with a dreamy smile on my lips. Disney, mostly. He didn't seem to think anything of it, not to worry, to seem childlike, which only emphasized his childishness.
I had no idea. "Tell me which one you like best, Harry."
He nodded enthusiastically, thought for a moment and finally said, "The Lion King. It's the classic, isn't it? You like it, too, Lou?".
I nodded. He could have said anything and got the same reaction. "Okay, let's watch it then." Ordinarily, I would not have voluntarily watched any of these available movies but I couldn't tell him that, after all, I didn't want to hurt him.
Harry went to the opposite side of the room and pulled down the shutters to dim the lights so we could better see what was happening on the screen. Then he stood in front of the bed and seemed to be wondering what to do next.
I tapped with the palm of my hand next to me. "I think standing will be uncomfortable in the long run."
He carefully sat down next to me and made sure to keep a certain distance from me. He didn't seem to want to go wrong with anything. I put the laptop between us.
Raising my eyebrows, I examined him briefly as he stared straight ahead and nudged him with a pillow. I had to grin. "Without you you'll get a stiff neck sooner or later."
Thankfully he accepted it and put it behind his head, which was leaning against the mint green painted wall. He looked happy.
I had to admit to myself that I was too. Happy.
In the middle of the movie, I suddenly felt a weight on my shoulder and soft hair, which tickled the sensitive skin in the crook of my neck.
I looked confused next to me, but quickly realized that Harry had fallen asleep. He breathed in and out in a calm rhythm and made soft snoring noises when inhaling. The expression on his face was peaceful and content. He looked like a cute little child, with his angel curls and long eyelashes, which were even more visible now because his eyes were closed.
Caring, I put the blanket over his body. I felt the strong need to protect him from whatever was coming. He was so pure.
I wasn't interested in the film anymore. The boy sleeping next to me had cast a spell over me. I was unable to look away from him.
I watched him blissfully as the door opened. Whoever was bothering now, I really wanted to kill him.
The person didn't just bother me while I stared at Harry. It also caused the curly haired to wake up from its peaceful sleep at all.
The nurse who had entered the room seemed hard to believe her eyes. "Visiting time ended three hours ago." she reprimanded, especially me, in a penetrating high voice.
While Harry had stared sleepily in front of him seconds before, he was suddenly completely awake.
"Excuse me ma'am, I must have forgotten to sign up with you, but I got approval from Louis'... father." He told matter-of-factly.
"It would be new to me if his father could set and change the visiting hours of the hospital." The nurse replied unkindly.
"He happens to be the head of orthopaedics."
I was impressed with how skilfully Harry countered. I would probably have just stammered and talked nonsense myself, or I wouldn't have said anything at all. He smiled. He knew he was good.
The unfriendly nurse said nothing more. She left the room, wordless. Less than two minutes later, someone else came in. The young man had a happy expression and came up to us.
Suddenly I was a little uncomfortable with lying in bed together with Harry. someone who didn't know why could easily interpret something wrong. My arm was wrapped around his torso and my hand was on his chest.
I had positioned ourselves like this to take the strain off my shoulder when Harry fell asleep, only we had not yet detached ourselves from it.
The man didn't seem to care.
"You two just got the head nurse so mad that she had to go out first for a calming cigarette." He giggled. "I would love to know how you guys did it."
"It wasn't that hard." Harry answered. "I know how to get women out of concept." There was an arrogant smile on his face.
"Okay buddy, you have to teach me one day." The male nurse gave Harry a thumb up.
"Which of you is actually the patient now?" He asked.
Harry pointed steadfastly at me and I really just wanted to disappear at this moment.
I hated being the centre of attention.
"So, you're Louis, right?" Mechanically I moved my head in a nod. "All right, Louis, I'm supposed to give you another dose of intravenous pain medication. At night, patients tend to focus on the surgical wound and, as a result they feel more pain."
I made a face. I had no problem tattooing myself with semi-blunt needles, but what was a problem for me was anything that went directly into my bloodstream. I wasn't sure why, maybe because by the time the cannula pricked my vein and the fluid was pushed in, I kind of lost a piece of the control. Loss of control was a cruel thing for me. I was clinging to things I had the upper hand - and my body was definitely one of them.
If they took control from me, they metaphorically killed me piece by piece.
"Don't you want Louis? You can refuse, but I don't necessarily recommend it." "Yes, it's okay. You can, I mean. I want it, but..."
I looked at Harry
"Can you go outside for a minute?" The curly haired got up in the meantime, but now put both hands on his hips and looked at me piercingly and frowned, irritated.
"Why, Lou?"
I was looking for the right words in my head. Words that wouldn't let me look weak and helpless. I was embarrassed by my fear.
"I think someone has a little phobia." The male nurse suspected and thus anticipated the explanation for me.
"Is that true?" Harry asked, turning to me. I nodded without looking at him. "Something like that." His lips twisted into a tired smile at my answer. "Then I'll stay here all the more, Louis. I can hold your hand if you want."
I knew Harry didn't understand the complexity of the problem. It wasn't the needle per se. Still, I nodded. Now he knew anyway.
"If that's all settled now, I would quickly get the equipment. Don't worry, you won't notice much, darling."
Shortly afterwards Harry and I were alone in the room again. I felt like a puppy dog, or a two-year-old toddler.
Harry sat down next to me on the edge of the bed and grabbed my right hand so that I would get the IV on the left. "Just press when you need it." He said, gently stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. I nodded and immediately turned my head to the boy next to me when the male nurse re-entered the room. Adrenaline shot through my body and I pressed my face against Harry. He put his free hand protectively on my cheek to keep me from looking to what happened then.
I only heard the muffled hiss of the disinfectant bottle and the foil from which the needle was taken. I winced a little. Not seeing was even less control, but he only meant well.
The warning that it was about to get a bit cold stayed away, which was why I squeezed his hand a little harder. We both knew it was about to start.
I jerked my head out of position. I could not do it. I couldn't just give up control like that
I saw the nurse giving Harry a questioning look. I saw Harry shaking his head and gesticulate with one hand to signal him to continue. I looked at him in panic with wide eyes. He had brought my head back into position, this boy had powers that I would not have believed him capable of.
"Harry, please." I pleaded in a choked tone. He shook his head slightly. "Everything's gonna be alright."
He made me stare straight into his eyes, I couldn't look away, blocked out everything visual around us and inspected every millimetre of his green eyes. Our faces were amazingly close.
His head came even a little closer to me and I wondered if it was just the situation and his motivation to distract me, or actually the expression of his feelings for me as he put his lips on mine and moved them slightly.
Deep down, I found myself wishing it were his feelings.
The pair of lips that met mine were incredibly soft. I hesitated for a moment before starting to shyly return the kiss. It felt good, in a very special way, but also weird on the other hand.
Harry's eyes were closed, I did the same. the pressure between our lips got bigger and bigger. I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach.
When, after a few seconds, the soft closing of the door could be heard, Harry gradually became less intense and slowed the speed at which he moved his lips on mine. He stroked my temple with one thumb, then ran his fingertips down my neck and finally placed his hand on my chest.
Our lips diverged. We just didn't do anything for a moment, just rested forehead to forehead.
"To be honest, I imagined my first kiss differently. The setting is... special" Harry whispered, almost voiceless and I wasn't sure if I should have heard it at all.
The boy let his gaze wander, satisfied, from my swollen lips to the IV port in my arm.
"It wasn't too bad, was it Lou?"