I lived my life where I didn't receive any love from both of my parents. My mother who only look at me coldly like some stranger she pass on the streets. And my father who since childhood abuse me physically, hurt me whenever he wants day and night. Also, an older brother who treats me same like my father.
It was never been good. Myself who always beaten up by both my father and brother. They're poor treatment on me and the bullies on school.
It was almost like everyone on the school hates and despise me. While I just pretended to ignore their gossips because I know I didn't do bad. I didn't do anything wrong to make them hate me. I didn't do anything to make my family loathe me.
I just didn't do anything wrong. So, why? Why?
Therefore, I grew up not knowing what love and care feels like. I grew numb to pain. I became a doll neglecting what's inside and apathetic. Emotionless, in short. And until the end of my life I remain stoic. What's the point anyway? Everyone wants me out in their life. Like I was a waste in this world.
When I was alive I did my best, I'm smart and I have good grades. I'm excellent at anything if I decided to put an effort to it. I was never interested at anything. I want something that could make my life have a purpose. I died anyway.
I am useless to them.
I died in an awful way. After I received countless of beatings from the school bullies I came home. There in home I bumped on my father and that made him angry, he then beat me up, hit me, punch me, kick me. The pain was was unbearable even though I grew up numb to the feeling.
I did my everything just to get out of his clutches and I succeed. Running out of the house I didn't notice it was raining. It's raining badly, but I didn't mind I just run for my life.
And there it happen. While running I didn't know I was crossing on a road and a truck came rushing towards my way. On that rainy day I was hit by a truck and no one tried to help me.
Who wouldn't be late at night? I just laying there on the road feeling my body starting to get cold and blood going out of my body. On the last moments of my life, my memories from childhood up today was filming in my mind. For one last time I cried pitying myself. I really didn't live a happy life like everybody's. I regretted not even questioning my parents why they hate me. Raindrops keeps on hitting my body. My life is fading away.
If there's a god whose listening to me, can you grant me a wish? It's funny, I never wished before. So, can you accept this humble one's last wish, dear god?
If you going to give me next life someday, please, can you let me live peacefully? And loved? Loved? I think it's impossible. Haaa.
Finally, death came upon me as I slowly close my eyes.
****
I felt my eyes open. I'm alive? But I feel emptiness. I wander my eyes yet I still saw nothing but darkness. Just where am I?
"Evy! Look!" A voice of a woman resound in the nothingness. Then, I saw a woman and a little boy on the field of flowers plucking different kinds of flowers they found beautiful. The scene played like I'm on a theater.
The woman was beautiful and filled with sprightliness. She signifies how lovely is it to live a life without regrets. Truly magnificent. The little boy beside her resembles her too. Was it her son? They really look alike. Same stunning spring green silky hair, a deep alluring forest green eyes, and an exquisite porcelain skin which will reminds you of snow, soft yet beautiful.
They were picking flowers. And having fun. It played infront of me. The scenes continued to different scenes again.
The lovely interactions with the mother and son, the scenes where the mother sang lullabies each night, the breakfast, picnic, the stargazing. Everything. But, the two never separated.
Okay? What's this supposed to mean? Why am I seeing this? Aren't I supposed to be dead? Then, why am I doing here? Watching this stuffs I don't even can relate.
It only shows the happy moments. Like a blooming flower. Still, flowers do wither too. When another scene played the mother was laying on the ground on the pool of her own blood, lifelessly.
What happened? Why did it the mother died? Why—! I saw the child sitting beside his mother trying to hold the remaining warmth that can be felt. He shed no tears. And it started to rain.
His eyes were dead only staring blankly at the dead woman. However, despite with the cold face he had. I knew somewhere in my heart that his trying to convince his self that it was all a dream.
It's not true. His just dreaming but the reality begs to differ.
She's dead. Not breathing. No longer alive. No more smiles and laughters heard.
Tears from the child's eyes formed dancing together with the rain. I felt my heart clenched. Ugh! Why? What is this? Why am I hurting too?
H–hurt? I can feel pain? This is pain?
"Mama, mama. I'm sorry." I put my attention to the boy. He squeeze his mother's hand for the last time and ran away. He ran away? The child look awfully terrified like his running away from death.
After the child ran away a group of bandits came. "Where did the boy go?! Find him and kill him!!" the frustrated man shouted who looks like they're leader. They were trying to kill both of them but the little boy managed to survive making her mother sacrifice herself.
So, that's what happened. The scene move to next. A scene what happened to the boy after he ran. He was crying badly. He tripped, fell, yet he was still running uttering only two words repeatedly.
'I'm sorry' he said.
I look at him intently. Thus, it created another wave of pain in my heart. There it go again. My heart clenched on the sight of the boy. Shit!
Every inch of pain and agony he felt runs through my body as if it was mine. I can feel how hurt and traumatized he was. The child experienced death before him and it made him horrify. He doesn't know how to feel. Yet, he felt tremendous amount of anger, regret, revenge, and inhumanity.
All he want is to kill those who killed his mother. But, he was just a boy. Powerless and weak. I didn't realize hot tears where falling from my eyes already. I can feel his rage, his pain. All of it.
The pain of losing hope. The pain of being weak————!!
***
I jumped off the bed, sitting and crying. What the hell happened?! I tried to calm myself and the beating of heart. I squeeze my shirt tightly.
Am I dreaming? Are those memories I saw? I can't stop crying!
I aggressively wipe all my tears. Just what the hell happened to me? I late to notice that I'm in no familiar surrounding. Huh? No, no, no! Where am I?!
I look around the room. It's different! I get out off of the bed and ran towards the body size mirror.
"A-ah." My voice cracked. Who is this in the mirror?! I touch my cheeks. No way! It's not me?! Then, who is this?! I break down on the floor. Suddenly I felt weak and dizzy. Seriously, someone tell me what's happening. Someone?
Fine, fine. Let's be calm. Analyze. Think. Understand. I look again in the mirror. Green. My hair is sp—?!
The woman and the child! I look like that child! Is that memories I'm seeing before waking up? Then, he is me.
N-no, I was reincarnated?! I was given a second life. Then, who is—–!
"Ah!" I silently wept on the floor. Another surge of pain in my head came. Memories flooded like river. Ugh! Shit! It hurts!
A few minutes fighting the pain I lay myself on the floor. Breathing heavily. Fragments of memories flows. I knew my identity now.
I am Evyterr Clause Lavinia Glastieve. A villain. I was reincarnated inside of the novel I used to read in my phone because of boredom and curiosity out of the blue. I read it online. The novel was entitled 'Sovereignty'.
The novel 'Sovereignty' is a book all about aristocracy, adventure, war, magic, history, philosophy, and ideology. No romance involved and I was thankful to that. I was never been a fan of cliché romance. In my opinion, it doesn't spice up the story. And no offense.
However, who would've thought about it? Just the way the story describes the characters, you could've help but to imagine that they where defined as enthralling, stupendous, breathtaking, divine, and jaw dropping looks. They're looks where definitely godly as the book portrait.
Evyterr is the youngest son of Duke Morin Gregory Glastieve and also was adopted. Evyterr's information about himself in the story was too little and not many. The story only mention his existence when Evyterr creates another mess or chaos. His profile was too eccentric. Most people didn't mind or notice, I think. Because he's a villain.
Who needs sympathy for the villain who only knows how to hurt others and creates havoc all around making innocent lives at risk?
As a reader I found it strange at first. But I just disregard it because I thought it was the author's choice to do so. Eryterr's only description in the story was how bad, spoiled, evil, and a bastard he is to his family. His villainy attitude also was described. That's the only thing description about him you can find through out the story.
I was reborn again with that type of character. Thinking of it just makes my head hurts. I was sure that my future is not granted. It's dangerous.
Now, thinking about it. I can change my fate. I can avoid an early death. Inside my mind I was a little relieved. There's a chance I could live if I can avoid doing bad and away from the characters! At least I can live without living in fear. Or, so, I guess.
I wouldn't mind not knowing what love and care feels like. I grow without having or experiencing neither. As long as I can live it's enough. I wouldn't ask for more. I don't want to die in a dreadful way again. Even for a villain and a stoic person like me, I also feared death but still numb to pain.
Unfortunately, I was reincarnated. Maybe this time I can feel pain. How I wonder if it really does hurt.
Damn, nevermind. I really feel languish and I'm still sitting on the floor. I was stunned for a moment when there's a knock on the door.
"Young Master, pardon my intrusion, the breakfast is ready the Duke is expecting you to join this morning, and I am to get inside." He gets inside while I didn't bother to look at him.
How can I look at him in the eye?! He's Theseus Kane Laux! One of the people who killed me, the villain! You piece of shit! I'm the who is suffering here, Evyterr!
Theseus is Evyterr's butler. The duke assigned him to take care of Evyterr. And was hired of Evyterr's brothers to spy and eye him. That if ever he creates any suspicious movements.
My brothers and Theseus is part of an organization which takes place on Sovereignty. It is where nobles and commoners collide. What matters to them is not your status, rank, or bloodline, it is your strength, affinity, power, magic. They were hungry for great talents and abilities.
It didn't matter what you are, as long as you can contribute on their ambition, aspiration. That's why even though Theseus is a servant he was accepted in their guild. He has a great talent on Shadow Mimicry and Bilocation.
Shadow Mimicry — ability to become a shadow.
Bilocation — being in many places at once.
The association my butler and brother joined are called 'Iris'. It's also an information guild. Iris was an unknown organization except for it's members, who fights wicked functions on the world. They even dare to wage a war on royalties when the prince of Gaia, who was a treasurer on Iris, tried to impeached the reigning king, his father.
This is it, bitches. You have it. You can kill me. Damnit! As if!?
Loss on my own thoughts I didn't know a tear from eyes fell. Making my butler, Theseus, alarmed.
"Young M-master? Let me help carry you." He said. Theseus came closer and he walk towards in my bed after he carry me.
"Young Master? Are you well? Should I call the dukedom's doctor?" He asked. Boy, no need to fake your concern. I can see through by the way.
Still remaining a stoic face I answered him. "Tell the duke I won't be able to eat breakfast with them, I'm going to eat here. Tell him I'm sick. And let no one disturb me in my chamber."
Standing straight, Theseus nodded. "Yes, young master."
"Leave." I said. Before he leaves Theseus takes a glance on me. With fluffy red eyes came from crying he stared at me, eyes judging. He soon bowed and finally he left.
Hah. I wish they will leave me alone.
***
Everyone, forgive my English because it was my first time writing. I really love BL or Yaoi. ( ≧Д≦)I just damn love them. And also reincarnation genre.
♪ \(^ω^\ )Yippe!!! Just vote, comment, and follow, Descendants!