I had to leave Eren as the afternoon approached for his Titan drills to help him improve his Titan skills; he wanted me to stay with him, but I had to decline due to my own obligations.
I was given the responsibility of assisting Petra with the horses in the stables, ensuring that they received food and drink to keep them healthy for upcoming missions. The horse I rode to come here is the one I previously claimed, and happily she warmed up to me right away. As the sun began to set, I quietly braided a portion of her mane while brushing her hair.
"That's so cute," Petra said from behind the stable, looking over at the small braid in the horse's hair.
"I know right," I said proudly as I tied a knot on the elastic at the braid's end.
Eren and the rest started approaching as they had finished his drills for the day.
"Y/N, you can head off now and do whatever; us higher-ups have to run some errands and will be back later."
"Oh, ok then," I said, leaving the stables and locking up the gate behind me.
I crossed the field to enter, breathing in the wind's crisp air. It felt good, and you can already feel the arrival of spring. I looked inside to check if Eren and the Hange team were there hanging out. I briefy acknowledged Eren's presence by making eye contact with him.
Me and Eren were left in the area after the scouts dispersed. Our time here consisted solely of cleaning and, in Eren's case, Titan training, so we decided to merely wander the area around the headquarters.
He ran off ahead like a child, happy, and a bright expression glittered in his eyes as he climbed up the hill ahead. This is the same guy who transformed into that titan, the one who killed about twenty people in just ten minutes, but beneath that terrifying titan was just a soft boy seeking freedom.
"Hey, don't be slacking off now." He yelled from the top of the hill, getting deja vu from that one night back in Shiganshina.
"Shut it, Titan boy," was met with merely an eye roll.
I made it up to the top of the hill, turning away from the trees ahead to the sunset behind us; the sun was setting behind the castle. I sat down next to Eren, who was already getting comfortable by the tree directly behind me.
"This takes me back to when we were younger." Eren said as we looked ahead at the setting sun. The sky was painted in a variety of orange and red hues. "That tree was full of memories." As memories began to flood his mind, he let out a soft laugh.
"Remember when you and Armin attempted to climb the tree and you thought you were giving Mikasa a heart attack? It shouldn't be funny, but it is." I burst out laughing, remembering Eren's expression as he landed on his bum.
"You had the best face." I kept laughing, only to be interrupted by Eren's half-hearted punch on my forearm.
"Shut up, you weren't any better," he said.
"It's you talking about how I would constantly fall while climbing up the hill. Just stop. "It's not funny."
"Your tiny little legs," he simply laughed, causing me to roll my eyes as I returned my gaze to the nearly rested sun.
"I wanted to stay like this," I blurted out, causing Eren to stop laughing completely and turn towards me with concern.
"What do you mean by that?" Eren questioned me, confused at what I was getting at.
"I want to stay in this serene, lovely state that you and I are in right now, despite how ugly the world actually is. I just want to safeguard and preserve the wonderful memories since we've only ever had one face-to-face contact with titans and it changed us so drastically that worse can only happen soon." I said only to receive a hit round the head by Eren
"Hey!" I said turning to face him "What was that for"
"Don't be too down; that's my job," he said. I simply laughed at his remark while still holding the region on my head where he had struck me.
"Think about that later, Y/N; don't think about that right now." I simply smiled at him while observing his serene expression. He simply sat there and considered smiling back. I inched closer, laying my head on his tight shoulder, staring up at the sky, which was beginning to become a deep blue colour. My head lying on his shoulder and my hair peaking over the side of his neck caused Eren to tense up, but he soon relaxed into the sensation of sinking into the tree behind him.
He reached out and took my small, icy hands and holding them in his rough, warm ones, placing them in his lap. He began massaging his thumb in a tiny circle, which seemed to soothe all the anxiety that had come over me.
We simply rested while looking ahead and took comfort in each other's company.
I can't get enough of this boy; all I want to do is be with him, keep him safe, and treasure these kinds of moments, which are what bring me the most comfort.
I closed my eyes, leaning a little closer to him as the temperature began to fall, making my skin crawl.
"You aren't falling asleep, right" Eren spoke out. I just 'hmm' in return as I kept my eyes shut at I was comfortable in the position I was in.
I felt Eren's head turn, looking down at me. I felt a firm hand reach out, brushing my cheek and tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear. Shivers crawled through my entire body, as well as a small tingle at his touch.
"You can't sleep here, Y/N," he said calmly, almost whispering close to my ear, making my heart beat faster, still staring at me.
"I can sleep wherever and whenever I want," I replied with my eyes still shut. You felt Eren shift from beneath your head, causing you to latch on and prevent him from moving any further.
"Where do you suppose you're headed now, exactly?" I spoke while still clinging to his arm and finally turning to face him with my eyes open.
He remarked, seeming shocked at my abrupt embrace, "Sorry, but I'm freezing.
I stood up using the tree as support and brushed myself off as I looked down at Eren, who was still seated on the floor, staring at me directly, causing another crimson flush to stain my cheeks. "Fine, I'll go back but be quiet; I didn't realise how late it had become," I murmured.
I extended my hand for Eren to take. He grasped my hand as I lifted him off the ground.
He let go of my hand and muttered, "Thank you."
I answered, giving him a wink of taunting, "Anything for you."
We arrived late last night, much later than planned, and all of our comrades were already asleep as we snuck back into headquarters, and I sent Eren to the basement head room, which I still didn't like because it was freezing down there.
The next day as the sun was at its peak we were planning and deceasing the formation of todays expedition when familiar faces started approaching on horseback. Twenty-one of our classmates from the 104th Cadet Core, including Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Jean, Sasha, Ymir, Krista, Reiner, and Bertholt, I was quite shocked at the amount that joined, as I was expecting only a few. It's strange to see a horse's face here.
"Are you okay?" "Did they hurt you?" Mikasa scrutinised Eren, making sure he didn't have a single scratch on him.
"Don't worry Mikasa he's fine I made sure of it" I said with a small smile appearing on my face, standing by her and Armin.
"That shorty is too full of himself. One of these days, I'll take him down a peg."
"You can't be talking about Captain Levi like that," Eren responded to Mikasa's threat, slightly worried.
"Only Annie, Marco, and Jean went with the military police brigade, I assume," Eren wondered, to only gain an awkward tension in the air, causing my eyebrows to frown.
"What?" I said aloud
"Marcos dead." Jean spoke out bluntly
"Jean what are you- Wait. What Marcos...
Dead?"
Eren stood there facing Jean's darkened face in horror.
"He died, and no one was there to see it." Jean spoke harshly, clearly hurt by the information he stated.
"Also, Eren, I heard you tried to kill Mikasa when you turned into a titan. What's that all about?"
"Wrong, Eren was trying to swat a fly-"
"Im not asking you" Jean interrupted Mikasa firmly
He's not being real right now, is he? We are about to go on a expedition, and he's trying to start a fight. He just got here.
"Mikasa, that scar on your cheek looks pretty deep. When did you get it?" Mikasa just glared at Jeans comment, scratching her cheek to cover up the mark Eren had made. I just looked at her in sympathy as she was clearly unhappy about the situation.
"It seems to be true.."
"After turning into a titan, I tried to kill Mikasa."
"Seems to be?" "So you have no memory of it? Wow, so in other words, until now you had no idea you even possessed this power and have no mean of keeping it under control?"
"That's about it," Eren face contorted in guilty
"Did you people hear that? I guess this is where we stand."
"This is what our lives and the fate of humanity ride on. This is what we'll die for, and like with Marco, Eren won't even know about it."Eren appeared even more uncomfortable and guilty than before as Jean lectured with pride.
"Jean! What's the sense in driving Eren into a corner here?" Mikasa declared, gritting her teeth as she formed her sentence.
"Look, Mikasa let me tell you something: not everyone I like you, volunteering to die for Eren," Jean said as he faced the other recruits.
"All of us, including Eren, should know what our lives are going to be used for. Otherwise, we might hesitate in a crisis."
The statements he made were true, which you cannot dispute. Am I really ready to give my life for Eren? I won't make it simple, but I'll gladly go to any lengths to ensure his continued survival at the conclusion of each mission. I'll make it happen.
"But we're looking to Eren to give us something in return." Jean continued, and everyone listened in. "And let us carefully appraise its value so we can decide whether it is worth our lives."
Everyone turned to face one another and exchanged wary expressions. I was aware that Jeans' statements were accurate, and I wholeheartedly concurred. If I'm being honest, I was afraid, but based on Eren's terrified face, I interpreted it as my understanding that he needed someone to be there for him. I'll be present.
"So, Eren!" Jean slapped Erens shoulder getting a tight grip.
"Seriously, we're counting on you."
We marched out, formation in plan. The soldiers are spread out in a semicircular formation but spaced out evenly to ensure being able to see in all directions.
We continued ahead in a silent manner. I looked over to Eren, who was centred in the middle of our squad as he needs to be protected at all times, he gave me a reassuring look that only made me smile as I turned back in the direction ahead.
One after another, flare cannons launched abruptly loud booms into the sky, emitting green smoke.
"Oluo, you fire," Levi ordered.
"Yes sir"
A soldier comes up to us with a message and announces it while yelling in terror, keeping us on guard.
"The right flank enemy scouts have been devastated! The right flank is now blind to enemy movement!!"
My eyes widen in his abrupt confession, shit that's were Armin is, I looked towards Eren whose face had frozen in fear trying to conceal he's emotions
"Please pass the message on to the squads on your left!" Levi directed that the message be delivered.
"You heard the man, Petra. Move out!"
"Yes sir!"
As the black flares began to materialise, Eren and I stayed behind Captain Levi as we continued to march ahead.
"Eren, you fire it off." Eren sent off the flare gun at Levis' demand.
Commander Erwin had told us to enter the forest, so we continued to ride toward it. I had a sense that something will undoubtedly go wrong. Which bothers me.