Hi loves! Long time no chat
IF YOU DONT READ THIS, YOU FAKE
hehe now ya'll forced to read it, you're welcome
Firstly I want to start off by reiterating how incredible it has been having all of you read my work and not only express interest in it but also supporting me through it. I began writing when I was only 18 and the joy it brought me watching the numbers increase and reading all of your comments and messages is indescribable. As cliche as it sounds I felt as though we've formed a somewhat bond through it and honestly you all felt like a friend to me. I don't say that lightly whatsoever. Every time I've felt myself go into a dark place, I'd go back to this site and read the comments or messages I've received and it would dead ass brighten my mood up.
Ya'll bitches healed my depression what can i say
As I previously mentioned, I began writing at only 18 years old with a flawed misconception of love. As a young woman whom was constantly around chaos and unhealthy relationships, I constantly romanticized toxicity as that was the only thing I was ever and have ever been exposed to.
I began reading novels on this site at just 14 years old and became obsessed with the narrative of a broken good girl and troublesome bad boy whom disrespected and degraded her yet also saved her. A woman whom needed a man to save her yet in reality was only taunting her. This twisted ideology of what love could be is all I ever craved
So ultimately, I wrote a book to which we all know as "His Nerd"
A novel that is full of betrayal, heartbreak, narcissistic patterns, abuse, and toxicity. All things that I believed were a reflection of love. As I grew older however, I began to realize how damaging this portrayal is to an impressionable mind and how far out of touch with reality it truly is.
Being myself once a reader whom was so infatuated with novels similar to this, I never realized how detrimental it could be until I found myself genuinely craving a partner similar to the character of Blake as he held excitement and suspense. Or Ace since he held that possessiveness and jealousy that I found so attractive. Or some other typical badboy name that was a dick to everyone but you.
I stopped continuing this novel as truth be told I got ashamed with what I was romanticizing. I found myself getting disgusted with what I was putting out there and couldn't help but wonder the true impact it might be causing. Maybe I'm being dramatic or doing too much but the last thing i'd ever want is a woman or man reading this novel and thinking this is what they want in a relationship. Blake's character is everything you should not want in a relationship. He is a complete narcissist point blank and there's nothing else much to it.
That being said, I have made the decision to continue writing this novel (as I must admit, i'm not fully ready to let you guys go yet. I got attachment issues hoes, ya'll stuck w me) but adding a twist to it. I assure you it will still be full of roller coasters and adrenaline but this time with a message i'd be proud of.
okok thats it, love you
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