"We each get to ask a question and we both have to answer it", I suggest.
"I think that's good. I'll go first." Alec clears his throat and considers for a moment.
"Hobbies." Too easy.
"Reading", I say, earning a sceptical look.
"That's your job", Alec says. Shrugging, I slip a grape between my lips, the crack of the fruity shell causing the sweet juice to pour out into my mouth. Alec stares spellbound at my lips.
"My hobby is my profession. I live my passion."
"So am I", he whispers. "Then my next question is taken care of."
"It's not even your turn", I reply perkily.
"Let's see. It's all too easy and has been asked a thousand times. Favourite colour..."
"Dark blue."
"... or favourite food...:
"Vegetable casserole."
"... Favourite drink is also old hat..."
"Soda water with a squeeze of lemon."
"Got it. Your favourite childhood memory." I heard and saved the answers to the questions I didn't actually ask. Dark blue. Alec is wearing a light blue shirt. It suits him so much better than red.
"I don't have to think about that for long. It was summer. I was six years old. Izzy was five and Jace was eight. It was the summer before I started school. Here, at this spot, we had a picnic. The boulder didn't have that much moss yet but still, to me, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It had something majestic, mystical. The rock towered over me and the leaves of the oak cast mysterious shadows. They danced across the rock and the moss, the colours glowed and the sun shone so brightly that it almost hurt my eyes. Our parents were still happy together. Jace and I faced each other with little wooden swords in our hands and I defended the life of my princess Lady Isabelle with everything I had. Dad cheered Jace on and Mum fainted theatrically as I cut down the evil knight Jonathan. Lady Isabelle cheered and jumped into my arms. Together we dropped to the soft grass and swore we would always stick together. The Lightwood siblings. A year later, our parents separated. We lived together under one roof for a few more years, but the love was no longer there. Dad changed. And Mum couldn't take it any more at one point." A blissful smile plays around the corners of Alec's mouth during his narration. Only the part about his parents' separation puts a slight shadow on his shining eyes. And the smile suddenly seems forced. Nevertheless, it is a truly beautiful memory.
"Now you. What's your best childhood memory?", asks Alec.
"Tuscany. Lemon trees and cicadas. The soft whispers of my parents and my father's protective hand in my hair. Me falling asleep peacefully and being the happiest child on the planet", I reply and my words catapult me back to the veranda of the old finca.
"Even today I can smell the fresh aromatic scent of the lemon trees and hear the chirping of the cicadas. When I close my eyes, I hear the soft voices of my parents and feel their closeness and security. Feel the love for each other and for me. The six-year-old Asian boy with the too-long legs and skinny body."
"Sun-kissed skin and raven black hair", whispers Alec and I open my eyes. He's close to me and I see the brilliant blue, glittering dots flickering wildly. They find no rest, switching back and forth between my eyes and my lips. Just as my eyes find their way to Alec's wine-soaked lips. These wear a reddish sheen from the sweet grape juice in our glasses, my tongue runs over the palate, taking in the taste of sweetness, acidity and tannin. A soft, warm and fruity aroma. I can imagine the taste on his lips.
"Magnus", Alec breathes and I swallow dryly. This is just taking a direction we didn't want to go in. Loudly, I clear my throat and Alec's eyes widen in shock. The dreamy has disappeared from his gaze, leaving disappointment behind.
"Do you have a bad memory too?", I ask cautiously, putting myself on thin ice. Because if Alec answers me that question, I have to. And right now I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
"Victor", Alec says and his gaze passes me, wanders into the distance. I wait anxiously for him to continue. It must be a difficult subject. Alec's expression changes, becomes thoughtful and pained. His thumb strokes the scar on the back of his hand incessantly. The wind ruffles his hair and I see tears glistening in his eyes. I give him the time he needs to talk about what he has experienced.
"You don't have to talk about it", I say softly as Alec remains silent even after minutes of waiting.
"We met our senior year of high school. He was the new kid, tall, black wavy hair, brown eyes, a dark complexion and adorable pink lips. I saw him and was dying to meet him. That was not difficult. After gym class, I approached him. He stood a little indecisive in front of his locker, only a towel around his hips and scratching the back of his head thoughtfully. I remember exactly how crazy the sight made me. As a gay teenager with lots of hot boys around, not always easy. And Victor was special. He was adorable, gentle and I was so madly in love. We went on a few dates and hit it off really well. Soon after, we got together and were considered the poster gay couple of the school. It was great. He was great. Victor was my first love. After school, we moved in together. In retrospect, not our best decision. But at the time, we didn't care. Victor went to university and I was apprenticed to my uncle. We both had busy schedules. Still, we always made time for each other. One day it changed. I can't say exactly when. My uncle and I always had many jobs. I love my job and am happy to work on a piece until the customer is satisfied. And so am I. My perfectionism is very strong in this field. Of course I spend as much time as possible with Victor. But my siblings missed me too. And I missed them. It was not easy for me to divide the little free time I had fairly. The jealousy came slowly. Actually, it was always there. At the beginning of our relationship it only swelled just below the surface. I felt flattered that I could evoke such emotions in Victor. Because it showed me how much he loved me. Later Izzy told me that there were many things I didn't notice. Even at school he was always throwing angry looks at other students or pulling me possessively towards him when the cheerleader girls walked past us giggling. I never worried about it. Girls didn't interest me." Alec interrupts his narrative and looks at me urgently, eyes moist and cheeks flushed.
"Victor. My first love, my first real steady boyfriend. The day his jealousy reached unprecedented levels, I was with Jace. After a long hard day at work, I helped Jace get over the heartbreak of a lifetime. Victor, however, was a thorn in his side. He was firmly convinced that I was seeing someone else and meeting for quick sex in dimly lit alleys." Alec snorts and laughs sarcastically.
"Me. Sex in dim alleys. Me, the most faithful person on this earth. It was ridiculous. And that's what I told him when I got home late that night. Victor was already waiting for me. In a dark flat. I got the shock of my life when I entered the living room and suddenly heard his voice. He was slurring his words and I knew he was drunk. It was not the first time. In the previous weeks he often came home drunk and insinuated that I didn't love him anymore or asked me directly if I was fucking another guy. We argued, but we also made up and had good make-up sex every time. This scar here is a silent witness to his jealousy. I turned on the light and saw the full extent of his excess. Several bottles of beer were on the table in front of the sofa and in his hand he held a glass filled with vodka. The half-empty bottle in the other hand, he stood up so frantically that he swayed and I quickly rushed to catch him. He called me names and threw all kinds of things at me. I tried to calm him down but it was too late. He was a prisoner of his anger, self-hatred and jealousy. The alcohol prevented rational thought and Victor..."
Alec swallows dryly, breathes heavily and strokes his hair nervously. I have an idea what happened. But I say nothing. Instead, I put my hand on his and Alec instantly calms down.
"It's okay. You don't have to", I say softly. But Alec shakes his head vehemently.
"No Magnus. If we're going to get to know each other, then I need to talk about it. It's part of me, part of my life. And it might help you understand why I have a problem with too much alcohol. Victor was out of his mind. I had never seen him like that before. His head was fiery red and his eyes bloodshot. His breath smelled like a mixture of beer and vodka and I was so disgusted by it. At the same time, I also felt bad thinking such a thing about my friend. I clutched his body, talking at him. Victor shouted at me, the glass fell on the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces. He kept hitting my back with the bottle and at some point he hit a sensitive spot. The kidney area. A sharp pain ran through my body, I slumped and let go of him. At the exact moment Victor pressed himself against my chest with all his might. I lost my balance and fell into the glass table behind me. The glass top shattered and the pieces bored painfully into my hands. The bottles also shattered and a large shard of glass stuck in the back of my hand. Victor was shaking all over when he saw me in the midst of the shards. The only thing he did was to cry. He locked himself in the bedroom and left me bleeding and in hellish pain. Jace came and took me to the hospital. I loved him so much. And he destroyed everything."
Pure pain is on Alec's face. He must have been terrified. And intense pain. My hand is still on his, my thumb stroking the fine scar. Alec has closed his eyes and I'm sure the memory has just caught up with him loudly. I know exactly what's going on inside him. He will hear the screams of Victor and feel the pain in his body and heart. Thick black lashes rest on his cheekbones, a suspicious glint and a tear beads from Alec's eyes, running slowly down his cheek. My thumb catches it and Alec nestles his head in my palm. His skin is warm, his cheeks slightly tinged with pink.
"I'm sorry about that", I say and Alec exhales noisily. More and more tears leave his eyes. My hand slides to the back of his neck and I pull him closer. He lays his head in the crook of my neck and gossamer lips touch my neck.
"Alec, you are an incredible young man. You're a strong partner, loving and gentle." I bury my face in his soft hair, smelling the scent of Alec's shampoo, and breathe kisses on the top of his head.
"You deserve a partner who loves you as much as you love him", I whisper.
My hands slide into his hair, gently stroking his head and Alec sighs. He releases himself from his previous position and looks at me urgently, my hands sliding further down his neck, lingering for a moment. His skin is soft and warm and the pulsing blood that flows through his veins presses throbbing against the tip of my index finger. I feel the life in his veins and the fire inside him. Slowly the tip of my index finger runs over the tendons and muscles, feeling every bulge and the contours of the collarbone that presses hard through the pale skin.
The fingertips of my left hand lightly graze his jaw and the tip of my thumb gently runs over the curved line of his upper lip. Alec moistens his lips, dry from crying, his pink tongue grazes my thumb and, completely unexpectedly, the desire to taste him hits me. Only a few centimetres, my eyes fix on his and I bridge the last distance between us. Warmth welcomes me, a hint of fruity sweetness, the taste of strawberries mixed with the acidity of grapes. Alec's lips are wonderfully soft and I close my eyes with pleasure. Strong hands rest on my hips and I feel the movement of Alec's lips on mine.