[A little retrospection]
Thranduil woke up feeling uneasy. The pain, that has been haunting his previous brief moments of consciousness was no more, replaced by some minor distant ache. He looked around, searching for his wife, who he remembered sitting by his bed earlier, but she was nowhere to be seen. The room was empty, not even servants monitored his state and recovery. He felt irritation. His queen could be resting, after all she must have felt all his pain, which probably exhausted her, but there was no excuse for the others. He has been left here to die alone.
The thought was not new to him, and its bitterness didn’t pain him now as much as for the first time, when the realisation struck him many years ago. He was a stranger to his people. A Sindarian elf ruling over Silvans. So was Legolas, but his easy-going ways bought him their affection, while he had only fear and respect. And with his human wife there wasn’t even this much. She did not fear him, which was visible in her every act of defiance, and for that he was actually grateful. He would not want her to tremble at a mere sight of him. However, she did not respect him enough either which, on the other hand, angered him, but he knew that he was responsible for it himself, locking her away like a prisoner. And she did not love him. It was obvious in her every gesture. At first he did not care, convinced she would give in eventually, but seeing her with Legolas made him realise it was not just a lack of love. She despised him. Even though the bond made her body crave his, her mind did not. She thought he didn’t realise how fake her smiles were, but he did. Yet still he pretended not to notice, hoping that one day she may show him a real one.
His son entered the room, and he noted that Legolas was happy with his father’s recovery. The prince has not, however, bear good news.
When Thranduil found out what his sickness really was, and who saved his life he was not pleased at all. Anger mixed with despair in his heart when he realised his queen was gone, probably forever. For a moment he even wished he was dead after all, but then a presence appeared in his mind, and the familiar voice whispered yet another of her irritating remarks.
That makes it third time, you know. She said. I’m getting really good at it.
A shy hope awoke, lifting his mood a little. Maybe she would not abandon him after all.
Indeed, you are. Perhaps you wish to practise it a few more times? He answered cunningly, and felt her amusement.
Hard to say. It is a long walk to your forest, and both spiders and the king are so annoying. Did you know? He imprisons his guests and steals from them.She teased, and he decided to carefully inquire about her further plans.
With a wife who chooses to separate herself from him, you can hardly blame the king for his temper. He retorted.
I’ll be back. She assured him, and it would make him happy if not for the words that followed. I think. Sometime in the future. Perhaps.
Perhaps? He asked, feeling the irritation rise again.
I don’t know the details yet. She answered, and he couldn’t help getting angry.
I see. He replied much more coldly than he intended, and then she was gone, leaving him alone and aching again.
The next few days were a torment. His recovery was fast, but the fact did nothing to improve his mood. She has left him after all. He did not believe she would choose to come back, but this wasn’t the worst part. What really tortured him, was the awareness that he could do nothing about it. As a king he could not leave his people to chase her around the Middle Earth, and he was sure she realised that. No one else stood a chance either. Besides, he had no right to drag her back by force, however much he would wish to do it. If she asked Elrond or Galadriel for refuge, they would give it to her, and he would be a laughing stock.
Knowing that he had to keep his emotions steady and guarded, the Elvenking decided to accompany his warriors into the woods. Fighting required concentration, which prohibited any other thought from entering his mind. But although it felt good it was short lived.
And when, along with rapidly closing date of the ceremony, he started loosing all hope she came back, full of her usual defiance, disrespect and mockery. Dressed as a boy, as if she wanted to vex him. And yet he did not care. She was here, and it was all that mattered.
***
Blood was the word again, and I though I was starting to develop a phobia. But since The Hollow Ones were already gone, it could mean only one thing: the ring was referring to the poison.
Needless to say the king didn’t protest when I pulled him in and closed the door behind us. He did look slightly surprised though, and didn’t make any move towards me. Relieved, I noted that he did not misinterpret my behaviour as a sudden surge of passion.
“My Lady?” He asked. Confusion could be heard in his voice.
I looked at him, and the way he was dressed studying, deciding. I couldn’t roll up his sleeve, I had to take it off. But It wouldn’t go off without all the rest.
“Take off your armour.” I demanded. The wound was on his upper arm, and there was no other way to look at it. It haven’t even crossed my mind I could just wait till later, when he changed his clothes. I didn’t know what his plans were after all, and when would that moment occur. Besides, asking him to undress would be embarrassing in any circumstances. And last time I waited, ignoring ring’s warning, we both almost faced our deaths: he from the poison, and I from a possible blood loss. I was not going to make such a mistake this time.
The king’s face was priceless. He looked at me like he couldn’t decide if it was real, or he was just dreaming. Even the sight of the Arkenstone didn’t surprise him that much.
I felt my cheeks burn, because I have just realised what I said and how it must have sounded.
“I mean… I need to see your wound.” I mumbled, averting my eyes. Oh great, I’ve just implied I wanted to sleep with him. Maybe I needed those etiquette lessons after all.
“There is no wound to see.” Replied Thranduil, watching me with interest. “It has healed.”
“I still want to look at it and make sure nothing is wrong with it.” I insisted, and something lit in his eyes, but then quickly disappeared.
“My armour cannot be taken off without aid.” He replied. “If you wish it removed, you shall have to do it yourself.”
I shivered, and looked at him intently, trying to find any sign of deceit. However, I could see nothing of the sort. The king seemed serious. For a moment I thought about calling the servants after all, but then reminded myself of the gossips that would spread. And it would feel just great to say: ‘Excuse me, could you undress the king for me? No, no, in MY bedroom.’ Because I had a feeling, that he would not call for anyone himself. It wasn’t hard to notice that he clearly wanted me to do it. And if anyone found out he was still unwell, who knew what would happen. As Gandalf once said, these were an uncertain times, and weak rulers would fall like flies. Whether it was true or false, the Elvenking had to be seen as powerful. A human being his wife probably diminished him anyway, there was no need to add fuel to that flame.
“Well, if it’s necessary…” I sighed. “All right. Please, sit down.” I pointed at the armchair standing on the other side of the room, by the table. But Thranduil had other ideas. He moved towards my bed, and sat on its side, looking at me with anticipation. I gritted my teeth. Oh his behaviour was so obvious. He was planning to amuse himself with my discomfort, like a boy picking on his first crush. How old did Bilbo say he was? Six thousand years? Seemed more like six to me. But unluckily I had no choice anyway, and was forced to put up with his childishness. So I just shrugged ostentatiously and got to work.
Oh gods, I was undressing the king! In my bedroom! On my bed!! I couldn’t believe this was actually happening! And I had a feeling he wouldn’t ever let me forget it.
While I was busy with all the strings and stripes he watched me intently, not helping at all, and I began to feel like some kind of servant.
Concentrated on one of many stripes I didn’t notice him move, until my coat landed on the floor. At first I thought the binding got loose, but then remembered it was some kind of elvish knot, that the twins tied for me. It wasn’t easily untied. Even I had trouble doing it and had to ask them for help every time.
Startled, I looked at the king, but his expression didn’t change. I moved away and he watched me, amusement visible in his eyes.
“Stop that.” I warned.
His brows went up in a mock puzzlement. He was clearly pretending he didn’t know what I was talking about, and didn’t even try to hide it.
“Do you intend to continue?” He asked, completely ignoring my outraged expression.
Reluctantly, I got back to my work telling him to keep his hands to himself. Apparently, however, he had no intention to oblige, which I realised when my collar suddenly got untied, revealing the collarbone. I still couldn’t catch him doing it, and that scared me even more.
I took a moment to cover myself, while he watched, following my every move. I was not going to let him strip me.
“Do it again, and I will tie you up.” I threatened resuming the work and undoing another pair of stripes that were holding his armour together. Right after I had finished the sentence I saw his pupils dilate so much that he probably couldn’t see well right now. Whoops, that was clearly a bad choice of words in these circumstances. Moments after, when I concentrated on my task once more, my collar got untied again, and the Elvenking looked at me with anticipation, daring me to actually tie him.
“Well, you’re lucky I don’t have a rope.” I mumbled a lame excuse feeling embarrassed about the whole situation. I would happily just leave him here and run away if I wasn’t so scared for his life.
“This shall be enough.” He replied, continuing to untie my outer shirt. Like a corset it was held together with a single string. This time I could at least see his hands, but it didn’t decrease the feeling of dread caused by the fact that he was undressing me. In my bedroom. By my bed.
I jumped away immediately, and his smirk told me that he was having a lot of fun provoking me. My cheeks burned.
“Your highness, it’s your life that’s at stake… our life.” I corrected myself. “So would you please stop doing that?” I asked.
“No.” Came the answer, and I gritted my teeth.
“Why?” I demanded.
“It is my privilege.” He remarked. “As it is yours.”
“A privilege?!” I exclaimed. “To undress me!?”
“You are my wife.” He reminded me coldly, but then smirked again. “And is it not what you are doing?”
I opened my mouth, and then closed them again. Damn, he had a point! I sighed heavily like I was dealing with w very stupid and stubborn kid, making sure he knew how I felt about his behaviour, and then approached him again.
“Please don’t move.” I said, knowing he would not listen anyway. The longer it took for me to take off his armour, the more he could do, so I just started working faster, determined to end this awkward situation as soon as I could. My clothes were constantly being untied and tied again, but I pretended not to care, and after a while Thranduil got bored.
When all of the pieces finally went off, I stepped back and gestured to the king to do the rest himself. Taking off the chain mail shirt and clothes that were under it was easy enough so he could do it. However, he was just sitting there with slightly spread hands, looking ready for me continue.
“Um…” I started. “Would you take off the rest yourself?”
“It is you who wishes to see me undressed.” He remarked and I blushed. That was not the point, and he knew it! He looked serious, but there was a certain playfulness in his eyes, so I could tell he was toying with me. So I decided to tease him a little as well.
“Can’t do it, or you just like being stripped?” I asked in mocking tones. “Or maybe it’s some kind of elvish fetish? Is that why you change your clothes more times than a woman trying to catch a husband?”
He didn’t get angry or irritated, hearing my words, and it felt disappointing. Instead his lips formed a small, amused smile.
“I do indeed enjoy your attention, and that intense need of yours to see my bare body.” He replied, and I had a feeling not only my cheeks, but also my cleavage has just turned red. “However, it would please me much more if I was allowed to share the experience.”
I really felt like growling and biting, but then realised that he would probably like it as well.
The thought of his possible preferences really scared me.
I rubbed my forehead feeling helpless. This was so tiring! The idea of knocking him unconscious was becoming more and more appealing.
“If you try something again, I will have to slap you.” I informed him, deciding to take his clothes off after all. What choice did I have anyway?
“If you slap me, I will have to punish you.” He retorted.
“I don’t think there are many punishments left.” I snorted. “You have already forced me to attend those lessons, and I’m locked inside your palace again, am I not? What more there is? Dungeons? Been there, not nearly scary enough.”
“You underestimate me My Lady. I could become quite creative with my orders.” He smirked.
“Well, I guess that could work… If I ever obeyed them.” I smirked back approaching him, and noticed a hint of certain fondness in the way he looked at me.
He didn’t reply though, standing up instead, so I could take off his very, very long chain mall shirt. And then he sat down again rising his hands up like a good boy. I could see his skin was slightly flushed – which by elvish standards probably meant a deep blush – and the pupils were slightly dilated. And that was bad.
Hoping that I wasn’t making a mistake after all, I started taking unbuttoning his shirt, watching his skin carefully. If there was any poison left, it would spread to the chest by this time. There was, however, no such thing, and I felt relief. That was until I saw the wound, and the ring started shining like a torch.
It turned out that the markings were not visible until the stone shone on them. I noted that the king’s whole upper body was covered in a web of black lines, that concentrated around the heart. I was terrified. From the looks of it he could die any moment.
I touched them, not exactly sure why, and traced the biggest with my finger.
“Do they hurt?” I asked, moving my fingertips around the Elvenking’s chest, down to his flat, muscular stomach and stopping on the line of his breeches. The poison was everywhere.
“No.” He replied, but his voice was hoarse. I ignored it, too busy looking at my discovery. I started tracing the lines again, going up. They seemed to pulsate and move under my touch. The mysterious substance which The Hollow Ones used seemed to be alive, and it was freaking me out and fascinating in the same time. Since it hasn’t killed Thranduil yet, and was not visible in a normal light, there was a chance it was not a threat, but I wouldn’t bet on it. King’s breathing got heavy and I ignored that too.
But apparently, the Elvenking or not, a man could take only so much teasing before loosing control. When I realised I’ve made a great mistake it was already too late.
He grabbed me so quickly I didn’t have time to react, and when my brain registered what has happened I was already lying under him, immobilised. Panicked I tried to free myself, but he just pressed his body harder onto mine, and then kissed me.
An alarm sounded in my head, increasing my fear. I just knew that in a few seconds my will would be gone, overpowered by his emotions and our bond, so I did the only desperate thing that came to my mind. I bit him. Hard.
He froze for a moment, and I felt the taste of his blood in my mouth. Then he rose slowly.
I watched him staring at me blankly. There was no emotion neither on his face, nor in his eyes. For a moment I even thought he would hit me, but he didn’t.
Instead he stood up, letting me go, and just walked out without a word, leaving all the clothes and armour parts in my bedroom.
And I was just lying there, shaking with both shock and fear. What have I done?! Oh gods, what have I just done?! I knew something terrible has happened, and it was my fault. He attacked me all right, but I provoked him. I understood that. So he wasn’t entirely to blame. And he had every right to consider my behaviour an invitation. What was wrong with me? How could I be so blind and stupid?! He was already affected by the kiss, and then the flirting. Why couldn’t I be more careful? I felt his emotions, knew how great his desire was. Gosh, I was such an idiot!
But the face he made after I bit him was even more terrifying than the assault itself. I’ve never seen him like that before. How was I going to look him in the eye now?
And, oh hell, what about the poison?! The ring showed me, that it wasn’t gone. Why? I’ve sent those creatures away, shouldn’t it have cured him? What could have gone wrong? What mistake did I make?
As I was slowly calming down, occupying my mind with an analyse of the fight, an idea came to my mind. When I tried to force the ring to help Estel, it refused saying it was dangerous. I though that he meant that my life and health were in jeopardy, but what if it was talking about the king? What if, somehow, using the powers I got from The Hollow Ones to heal the boy hindered the Elvenking’s healing process? I had to find out.
My head was spinning with many different thoughts and emotions and so every attempt to talk to the ring failed. I could not contact it, and it didn’t answer my questions. Unsure what was wrong this time I started panicking. What to do now? How to behave? How to help him? Would he even talk to me again? Did I want to talk to him? Did I even want to see him? But I couldn’t just let him die… Oh, it all went so terribly wrong!
After a longer while my two personal servants entered the chambers, and stopped unsure what to do. I guess I would be surprised too after seeing the mess on the floor, and my curled up body on the bed. But then I got up and asked them to help me make myself presentable. Two days on the road made me dirty. I was surprised Thranduil didn’t care about it, since he was always so neat and perfect.
They bathed me, and found some reasonable clothes to wear. I didn’t want anything flashy. I was in no mood to be noticed or talked to. I needed to think things over, because the time of the dinner was closing in, and I had to decide what to do.
Should I go as promised and pretend nothing happened? I decided that it would be the best for now. There was no need to turn it into a show. But we would have to talk about it anyway, and I was so ashamed of myself that the thought terrified me.
I spent the remaining time trying to speak with the ring, but still with no result. Finally the time of the dinner came, and I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it all. But I knew I had to go.
While walking down the numerous stairs I braced myself for the worst.
The dining hall was full as usual, and the king’s chair empty. I entered, walking as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself.
Thranduil showed up not long after. His handsome face was emotionless and he ignored me through the whole meal. He didn’t eat much and left quickly. I didn’t have much appetite either, but was not going to depart so soon. After all, there was one other part of our deal to fulfil, and I REALLY didn’t want to do it. Yet I knew I would have to. I couldn’t be the one to break the rules first no matter what happened. The thought was enough to make my stomach hurt, and I realised I would go to sleep hungry tonight.
After waiting for what I thought was an appropriate amount of time I finally stood up and bid everyone goodbye.
Back in my room I asked Geliriel and Miluiel to give me, once more, the least revealing dress there was. They looked surprised, and I could see they wanted to ask me about something. I thought they probably misunderstood the mess on my floor this afternoon. Oh great, now everyone probably thought I’ve just slept with the king or something.
Choosing this dress I didn’t really believe it would frighten the king away. If he almost forced himself on me while I was dirty and dressed as a boy, there wasn’t much that could turn him off.
I had to admit it was flattering in some way. It meant my looks weren’t the most important thing to him. And that not only spoke of a deeper affection, but also showed it was my personality that he had developed feelings for. It was quite hard to believe for me though. I was nothing like an elf lady. And he didn’t look like a man who would fall in love with a human girl, let alone a merchant’s daughter.
Feeling nervous, scared and hopeful at the same time I finally stood up, and exited my room.
A walk to the king’s chambers was the longest in my life, and when I finally stopped in front of his door it took twenty deep breaths to calm myself enough to be able rise my hand and knock.