Hi guys! Sorry for not updating in a while, but please enjoy! This is the end of the story, but I will add a bonus epilogue right after I post this chapter. Sorry it's long, but I hope it's a satisfying ending. I love all of you so much, and I'm so grateful for the support. ❤️
Date Tech went ballistic, many girls cried with joy, and some collapsed to the ground with exhaustion.
The girls on the sideline tackled the ones on the court, laughing and cheering.
Honestly, I couldn't help but smile a little at their happiness. I watched in longing as the cheers seemed to last forever. None of us moved an inch. All we could do was hold our tears for the locker room.
When they finally composed themselves, we all lined up at the end line and thanked each other for the game. We shook hands with each other.
Number three and I were at the end of the line and she held my hand in hers.
"Hey, good game," she said sympathetically. I almost didn't hear her from the roars to the audience. I tried to smile, but I think I just looked in pain.
I was.
"Good game," I whispered back to her. I let go of her hand and went back to the end line to thank Karasuno for coming to support us.
"Thank you for coming," Michimiya bowed as she yelled it as loud as she could, but I don't think anyone heard her. We all bowed and repeated the thanks.
I didn't even bother looking at the audience. The boys were in the front row, but I just turned and walked with Watabe, who cried silently next to me, to the locker room.
Everyone cried as they changed except for me. I was numb. This had never happened before.
I had always made it to Nationals. Sure I had lost in the national tournament before, but there, I knew I had done everything I could with the ability I had.
Why didn't I do the same here? Why couldn't I save anything? My one job as a libero is to keep the ball in play and I couldn't do that.
I had changed into a white t-shirt along with the club jacket and running shorts. I picked up my jersey and looked around at the rest. They were all black, mine was white and dirty from being on the floor all day. All those dirt stains for nothing. Nothing.
I threw the jersey at a locker in anger and stormed out of the room, ignoring calls from Aihara and Michimiya. I stomped into the hall and paced around, looking for something to do, but finding nothing.
I was looking at the ground, so I didn't see the figure in front of me until I bumped into them. I looked up to see the one person I had most wanted to see at that moment. But I didn't seem to care.
Bokuto smiled at me and wrapped me in one of his signature bear hugs. My feet lifted off the ground as he swung me back and forth. When he finally set me down, he looked into my eyes and saw how hard I was trying not to cry in front of him. In front of my best friend.
"Hey hey (Y/N), you did totally awesome today. I know I couldn't have done what you did!" he cooed. It was different from his usual demeanor, which made me want to cry even more.
I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"He's right," Akaashi's voice said behind me. I turned around and looked up to see his calm eyes.
And that when I lost it.
I jumped into Bokuto, not caring about getting his jacket wet, and I sobbed there for a while. They were both in Fukurodani gear. How did I not see that before?
"I wanted it so bad," I tried to say. I felt Akaashi's hand on my back, lightly drawing the shape and lines of a volleyball. "I deserved it, I wanted it..."
I didn't deserve it. I was selfish for trying to improve my team the way I did. It was stupid to want it when I knew I wouldn't get it.
But I came so close...
We tripped at the damn finish line.
I tripped. I messed up. I shouldn't have been a libero. I shouldn't even play volleyball.
"I know what you're thinking," Akaashi finally mumbled. "You did fine. You are amazing at what you do, no matter what position you play, it will help the team because it's you filling that position."
He stopped tracing volleyballs on my back, and took his hand away. It was cold now where his fingers used to me.
Bokuto was still hugging me as tightly as ever. I let my arms fall, and he let go of me. I had finally stopped crying and turned around to hug Akaashi. I had to jump to wrap my arms around his neck, but he leaned down for me.
"How long did you watch?" I whispered.
"We got here in the middle of the first set," he said.
"That one was good."
I nodded and closed my eyes, letting one last tear fall before even more numbness set in once again.
Akaashi didn't speak for a while, even after he let go.
I walked silently in between them around the halls. I didn't think we were going anywhere in particular until I saw the Karasuno boys team, standing worriedly, looking for something.
When Noya saw me between Bokuto and Akaashi, he pointed at me and looked at Suga. The team looked at us and approached us carefully. I kept my face as plain as I could, knowing they'll try and comfort me if they knew I had been crying.
"Hey (Y/N)," Nishinoya mumbled, unsure of what to say to me. "You-" he sighed. "You did the best you could."
All I could do was nod. Kenji walked up to Bokuto, who picked him. Bokuto looked at me as Kenji cried into his shoulder.
Everyone looked at me in pity, which honestly kind of annoyed me, but I would have done the same thing if it were the other way around.
"Ugh," Hinata finally cut the silence. "This totally sucks!"
Kageyama hit him on the head telling him to shut up.
"What? I'm just saying, When you lose, you're allowed to say that it sucks. It's supposed to be the worst!" he crossed his arms when he finished.
"Yeah... " I said softly. Having not said anything for a while, my voice was a little raspy. "It does suck."
And with that, I turned away to leave.
No one followed me.
I walked back into the locker room to grab my bag. No one was in there, the rest of the team must have just left, because the stink of sweat was still thick.
I picked up my bag and looked to where I had thrown my jersey. It was still there, but it was folded.
They folded it.
I picked it up and set it in my bag as carefully as I could. It was already dirty, I don't know why I cared.
I zipped up my bag and swung it over my shoulder. I pushed the door open softly to find my team along with the boys waiting for me, all semblance of tears gone. Aihara walked over to me and put her arm over my shoulder as we walked to the bus in silence.
Kenji had come down from crying into Bokuto to come hold my hand, which I did half heartedly. I looked down, avoiding everyone else's eyes. I heard whispers from the boys and picked up my name every so often, but not caring enough to listen. Kenji leaned into me and I evened out my walking so that our steps would match.
We stopped at the bus. Aihara took her arm off my shoulder to get on and I leaned down to Kenji to meet his eye level.
"Hey thank you for wanting to come," I said to him as I pulled him into a hug. He immediately hugged back.
"Yeah. Don't be too sad okay?" he whimpered, not being able to follow his own advice. I nodded.
"I promise."
I stood up and pushed him to Suga, who looked at me as if a pet had died or something.
Everyone but Watabe had now gotten on the bus, but I turned to Bokuto and Akaashi. I hated that I didn't have the strength to look up at their faces, so I settled for looking at the little Fukurodani symbol on Akaashi's jacket.
"How's the girl's team?" I asked, not knowing what else to say. Bokuto chuckled.
"Not good," he said. "They didn't make it past the semifinals."
"Oh... Did you guys make it?"
I raised my eyes just enough to see their head nods. I could see Bokuto was barely able to contain his excitement, but tried to keep calm for my sake.
I smiled a little for the first time in a couple hours.
At least some of us got what we wanted.
"Cool. You know I'll be here for you guys. Go far for us okay? Both of you," I turned to the other boys as well.
Then I turned to Watabe.
"You ready?" I asked. She nodded ever so slightly.
"Yeah."
She headed on, as did I. But I stopped before the doors closed and looked back at the boys. Daichi gave me a reassuring smile, silently telling me that it was okay. Akaashi nodded, letting me know that I did good, and Bokuto gave me a sad wave. Kenji, my dearest fan and little brother had started crying again, his face to the ground.
"Hey Kenji," I got his attention, and he looked up, eyes wide. I smiled a bit.
"You better come here, or the boys will kill you."
Now it was his turn to smile. A real smile. I turned away before the new stinging in my eyes became too much. I sat down next to Watabe, silent as the bus moved away.
"Is it okay to cry again?" Watabe asked, next to me, tears already forming again in her eyes. I paused before nodding and letting one of my own fall.
No one slept on the ride home, but no one talked either. It was barely noon, and dreams had been crushed. Michimiya was no longer the captain, and Aihara was no longer the Ace.
I cried.
All I could do was think about how they depended on me and I couldn't save anything. I couldn't save anything. Anything.
What the hell was I thinking, thinking I could carry the whole team with my defense. I'm not a libero. I'm not a libero.
I'm not good enough to be a libero, and now I'm not tall enough to be an effective hitter. Not in this prefecture.
I grabbed Kenji when we got back to the school and we ran home. I didn't even bother with the pity conversations that were bound to happen. I didn't need to hear it. I didn't want to hear it. They weren't going to make me feel better, and all I wanted to do was sleep.
I had gotten a couple calls from some of the boys, Akaashi and Bokuto included. They eventually stopped calling and I got a single text from Suga.
I'm here when you need me. We're all here.
Kenji and I sulked into the house, the empty house. Both of us silently went into our rooms. Shortly afterward, I left. I closed the front door and ran.
I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't really care either. I ran until I didn't have any energy left, which didn't take very long. I stopped and ripped my backpack off of my body to slam it on the ground.
When I caught my breath, I found myself in front of the gym at Karasuno. The one that the boys practiced at.I stood there looking at the doors. They were slightly opened, someone had forgotten to lock it.
I picked up my backpack and brushed off the dirt. I pushed the doors open.
The net was already set up. As if it was calling me.
Oh well, I had to let the anger out somehow.
I pulled my gear out of my backpack and put it on slowly. I was in no rush to get anywhere.
I winced when my arms brushed against all the new bruises on my knees. Damn I hit the ground so many times. For nothing.
I pounded a fist on the floor and got up to grab a ball cart. And all I did was serve.
I served until the ball cart ran out, then I would pick them all up and do it again. For hours I did this, the sky had turned orange with evening by the time I decided that I should go home.
Just as I was ready to pack up, the door to the gym creaked open, and popped in Hinata, followed by Kageyama.
They saw me and gazed in pity.
"H-how long have you been in here?" Hinata asked me. I shrugged.
"Hours," I deadpanned. "Hey where did Bokuto and Akaashi go?"
I was hoping to get a couple hits in with them before they had to go.
"Oh they left after you and your brother ran home," Hinata pointed behind him as if they were there.
"Oh. Wanna practice? You guys can hit a little bit and I can dig on the other side of the net."
Now it was Kageyama's turn to shrug. "Sure, but we're not the only ones coming."
I swallowed. "Who else is coming?"
They stepped aside to reveal the rest of the boys team. I mentally punched myself, remembering that practice is everyday for these guys, no matter what happens. An admirable quality in my book, but an inconvenient one when all you want to do is get some anger out.
Daichi came up to me still at the endline while everyone put their court shoes on.
"So how would you like to practice today?" he asked, as if I hadn't just lost a huge match. I was grateful for that. I hated when people treated me like a baby for losing.
"I don't know, you're the captain, what do you want to do?"
He laughed and shook his head. "Nope."
He gestured to the doors. Now the girls team filled the space.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, setting the ball that I had in my hands into the ball cart and heading over as they filed into the gym.
They geared up too.
"Isn't it obvious?" Michimiya smirked, all traces of previous disappointment gone. "To practice. So what do you want to do Captain?"
"What? You're the captain."
She shook her head and the girls looked up from their places on the floor, the same look on their face.
"Umm, yes. You're the captain."
"Not anymore, (Y/N)," Michimiya shook her head, finally showing a little sadness. "We lost today, meaning both Aihara and I are off the team. So now they need a new captain, the team agreed. They want you."
I shook my head and threw my hands up.
"Woah woah woah, no no no no. I'm not the captain. I'm not a captain, no I'm not a captain-"
"(Y/N)!" Watabe stood up and walked over to me. She stood next to me and faced the team.
"Who voted for (Y/N) to be Captain for next season?"
Immediately everyone raised her hand. Every single person on the team raised her hand, even Aihara and Michimiya.
"What?" My voice cracked, and only a little squeak came out.
"Yeah, you're the captain now," Watabe said with a smile. "We'll give you some time to choose the vice captain, but for now, you can't escape us!"
Everyone in the gym smiled but me. I was still in shock.
"But I'm not a captain," I whispered to Watabe. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and looked me straight in the eye.
"Yes you are. We all know it. We want you to be our captain."
I screamed on the inside. This team wanted me to be the captain. Their captain.
"Oh," I said, suddenly crying. I honestly didn't think that I could have cried anymore that day. "Are you sure?"
Everyone on the team nodded.
I had to excuse myself from the gym to compose myself. When I came back in, all dried up, practice was in full swing, both teams now one super team performing the butterfly drill to warm up. I joined in, now ready to practice again.
It was as if today hadn't happened at all, and we just played. We played and practiced technique and footwork for maybe three hours before Daichi told everyone to go home.
"Oh come on Captain," Hinata whined. "Can we do a little more?"
"No." Daichi ordered everyone to pack up and go home.
I waited for Aihara to change into street shoes before walking home with her. Night had fallen, and it reminded me of the first time we walked home together.
"I bet you're wondering why everyone chose you to be captain even though you came in the middle of the season in your second year," she finally said to me to break the silence.
I stopped walking for a second.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Well how do you think we got as far as we did in the tournament? It wasn't because of me or Michimiya, although I would have liked to think it was. You were the one that gave us the workout regimens, the defense, the playing strategies. You have it all (Y/N), you've been to Nationals, and that's something that none of us have ever done before. I don't care that you couldn't save many blocked balls today, you did your best, and everything else you did was near perfect.
"You have more leadership skills and experience than anyone on the team. That's why they chose you. They trust you, they've seen how hard you work even though you're the best on the team, and they're now stronger because of it. This team is behind you one hundred percent. You're gonna be the captain whether you like it or not."
I smiled and looked down.
"You know, at Fukurodani, I would have given anything to hear that from my vice captain. But now that I'm here, I already know that I have a team behind me. I felt alone in Tokyo, and even though this team has a long way to go, the friendships I've made and this new challenge has rekindled my love for volleyball. So I guess the least I can do is accept the captain's position."
Aihara smiled and gave my shoulder a small squeeze. We started walking again, and I looked up at the stars. They were so plentiful in this suburb town, unlike Tokyo where lights were all over the place, blocking them out.
"Oh and hey, you gotta start thinking about a vice captain," Aihara reminded me as she walked up the steps to her house. "My recommendation would be Sudou, because I know she would have been the captain had you not come. She's awesome, and she'd have made a good captain too."
I nodded and left as her door closed. So much had happened in the past couple months, that I didn't realize that it had changed my life forever.