Aydan opened his eyes tardily, slowly looking around. For a moment he was blown away, when he realised he wasn't sleeping next to his beautiful petite girlfriend, but his best friend he had known since he was a kid — and somehow that was so much better. William was sleeping on his side and Aydan was holding him in his embrace.
The tile floor wasn't exactly an ergonomic mattress to sleep on, even with the rug, and Aydan's body was aching. His right arm was numb and tinging, but he wanted to savour the moment just a little bit longer. Aydan buried his head in William's neck, closed his eyes and inhaled his scent.
He could have been terrified, thinking ''What have I done?'' or ''Are we mad?'', but he didn't think so. Besides, madness was relative. If they had gone a little crazy, then Aydan wanted to spend the rest of his life equally out of his mind.
William stirred in his embrace, making Aydan think about that day he had been sitting next to his bed and waiting for the sick patient to wake up from his beauty sleep.
''Did I fall asleep?'' William murmured drowsily.
''You and me both.'' Aydan murmured back softly, planting a kiss on his neck.
''What time is it? I'm starving.'' William said then. He was about to sit up, but ended up wincing and slumping back on a laying position.
''What the heck did you do to me?'' William complained.
''What? What did I do?'' Aydan was immediately alarmed and gaped at his friend.
''It fucking hurts.'' William frowned, looking like a pouting kid.
''Um, sorry. About that..'' Aydan scratched the back of his head. Then he started grinning, to which William answered with a smile. He wasn't angry at least.
''Here's what we're going to do.'' Aydan started, and before William could do or say anything, he lifted him up the same way he had done at the beach house. Then he carried William to one of the divans, carefully putting him down.
''You rest here and I go up to get us some food. Deal?'' Aydan asked then and William laughed, saying: ''Deal.''
Luckily no one was home, so Aydan got the kitchen all to himself. He wasn't naked anymore — now that would have been crazy — but he wasn't ready to meet William's parents or to look them in the eye with clothes on either.
The Davies' fridge was always bulging with food; fresh fruits, veggies, smoothies, eggs, plant milks, fish, juices,.. If it was something you'd consider healthy, it was probably there. Aydan, who had different tastebuds, grimaced when he picked up a bottle of green smoothie and studied its contents.
''I swear your mom's diet has gone too far.'' Aydan announced when he walked back to the pool carrying a tray filled with orange juice, steaming coffee and stuffed bagels.
''Can't say I disagree.'' William grinned and dug in the first bagel. He really is starving, Aydan thought and smiled.
''Don't just stare at me, eat something.'' William mumbled and proceeded with the bread.
''Yes, sir.'' Aydan grinned and as he was equally as hungry, he was soon wolfing down the food as well. It was the best breakfast/dinner/whatever Aydan had had in years.
When Aydan's phone beeped, William's expression darkened. Aydan was certain the same happened to his face as well. Neither of them was ready to go back to the reality. They wanted to stay at the pool and forget there was anyone else living on Earth.
''It's Claudia. I'll have to go see her..'' Aydan started and William looked like he had just hit him right in the face.
''..and tell her we're over.'' Aydan continued unhesitatingly.
''Are you sure?'' William's eyes brightened, but he looked tentative.
''Yes. I'm done with her. Then I'll come back and I'm expecting a big reward.'' Aydan smirked and pulled William in his arms. They were still sitting on the divan, but the tray was on the floor and there wasn't even a crumb left from the food Aydan had made for them.
''Claudia's going to kill me.'' William muttered and Aydan hugged him even tighter.
''No, she's going to kill me.'' He sighed, but didn't feel bad for long. His feelings for Claudia were long gone, even before he got to hold William in his arms, and even if he felt bad for her.. well, wasn't it technically Claudia, who told him to go and kiss William?
''I'll come back once it's done.'' Aydan promised, although that meant it had to wait for the next morning. It would take some time to talk with Claudia and then it would be a good idea to sleep for an hour or two.
''I'll be waiting.'' William murmured and gently kissed Aydan with his soft lips. Did I die and go to heaven?
***
It was half past eight when Aydan waited by the big gates of the Wright family's house. He had answered Claudia's text earlier, telling he would be coming, so it didn't take long till she let him in.
They didn't go in the house, but sat in the garden. It was almost like she already knew what Aydan had in mind.
Aydan let his eyes wander around the garden: the trees with their new leaves, the lamps integrated in the ground shedding light in the darkening evening.
It was a bit chill, when Aydan was wearing just a t-shirt, but he didn't mind. His eyes focused on the person sitting next to him on a wooden garden bench.
Claudia wasn't wearing any makeup and her hair billowed on her shoulders all naturally without hairspray. She was wearing a white jumper, jeans and brown sandals. Aydan still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met, yet the sight of her didn't make his heart flutter. Not anymore, not for some time now.
''So?'' Claudia asked. She knew why Aydan had come, there was no doubt about that.
''You're right. I think I'm in love with him.'' Aydan said and gave her an apologetic glance.
''What?'' Claudia asked.
''I think I love him, and we should break up.'' Aydan repeated. He needed to be blunt and say what he had to say before he would start having second thoughts.
''So he's seriously just going to break us up?'' Claudia seemed incredulous now.
''It's not just him. I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry.'' Aydan said.
''Do you think you can just end things like this and walk away like nothing happened? Like we didn't happen?'' Claudia got up from the bench, and there weren't tears on her cheeks, just burning anger.
''I'm sorry. I really am.'' Aydan got up too, facing her.
''Well, you better be.'' She said and rushed away, inside the house.
Just like that it was over: Aydan was finally free. He had dreaded this moment, thinking he couldn't do it, but it was over in just some minutes.
He felt bad, of course, but it had been a relief to see anger on Claudia's face instead of tears. It meant she was angry, she wasn't broken into pieces. Anger Aydan could take, because it would fade away at some point and they could talk things through once Claudia felt better. Tears would have been much more difficult to handle.
Afterwards Aydan called a taxi, took a long shower and changed on a clean shirt and sweatpants. Only then he allowed himself feel the guilt and the sadness.
He had indeed hurt Claudia very badly, when he should have ended things between them earlier and without dragging William into it. Then again, Aydan hadn't planned for things to go the way they had gone with William. It just happened.
What he and William did felt right, even though he should probably have felt guilt about that too. Aydan had, after all, been together with Claudia when he had done those things with William.
He had texted William before going to bed, but as it was already late and William was probably fast asleep, he didn't wait for an answer.
Then Aydan, who had thought he wouldn't fall asleep after napping for hours earlier the day, slept better than he had slept in a long time. He couldn't wait to see William again, and even his dreams were all about him.
Aydan knew he had made the right choice, the choice he should have made a long time ago.
***
Aydan rang the doorbell, waiting impatiently behind the door. It was already past noon, since he had forgot to put the alarm on and had slept soundly until he had woken up from the sound of a text message.
It wasn't from William, sadly, but it had done its job and Aydan had rushed himself ready so that he could see William as soon as possible.
He had to ring the doorbell again when there was no answer. Actually he hadn't heard anything from William since he left him by the pool. Aydan had simply been too excited to give it another thought, but now he was starting to get worried.
What if William had another seizure, fell in the pool and..? What if he's sick? What if —
The door opened slightly and William peeked from the door chink. He was pale like he had seen a ghost and Aydan didn't think twice before rushing in the hallway and pulling him into an embrace. Every muscle in William's body was tensed up and he didn't hug Aydan back.
''What's wrong?'' Aydan whispered, alarmed and overwrought.
William pushed him away and backed off until his back was against the wall. He leaned on it and clutched something in his hand so firmly his knuckles were white. Aydan couldn't see what it was, just that it glimmered when the sunshine from the open door reached it.
''I — I think you should go.'' William stammered.
''What? Why?'' Aydan had no idea what was happening. He stared at William helplessly.
''It was a mistake. We shouldn't have done that.'' William said more steadily. Aydan furrowed his brows, almost feeling like his heart shattered in pieces and sank to his stomach.
''What are you talking about? I already told Claudia I don't want to keep seeing her anymore.'' He almost pleaded.
''You better go back to her and say you're sorry.'' William retorted coolly, but there were new tears swelling in his eyes.
''I don't want to. I don't love her anymore.'' Aydan cried out. It wasn't just his heart that was falling apart, it was his entire world. "You can't do this to me, William, please.."
He had no idea what was happening and why. Things had been fine just a moment ago and now..
''Believe me, it's better this way.'' William said.
''How the hell is it better?'' Aydan yelled now, making William startle.
''I don't know, why don't you ask your girlfriend?'' William blurted and as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he turned even paler.
''What's that supposed to mean?'' Aydan demanded.
''Nothing. Seriously. Just go, I don't want to see you anymore.'' William said nudged Aydan towards the open door.
''..But I love you.'' Aydan whispered with a broken voice. Then William had already pushed him out, and just before he closed the door, he said: ''I don't love you.''
And just like that, in less than an 24 hours Aydan had turned his world around. He had felt how only William's love could bring him fulfillment. He had held him close and broken up with Claudia for him.. and this was what he got in return. Aydan had no idea what he had done wrong. He had done everything by the book — or at least tried to — but there he was standing behind a closed door.
He had finally gotten William back in his life, first as a friend, then as a lover and now he was left with nothing.