Marian’s POV
Ganito na lang ba palagi? Me sitting in front of the tv, watching whatever was on while I eat alone. And then later on, I would sleep in my bed alone. And after some years I would die alone.
I sighed, feeling the heaviness in my chest. I sure hope not. I felt restless, It was as if I was standing still and life was just passing me by. Nakita kong nainlove ang mga kaibigan ko, nakita ko silang nagkaboyfriend, kinasal, nagkaanak, bumuo ng pamilya. I even witnessed Betsy gave birth to her second child (not a pretty sight) dahil nagkataon na ako ang kasama niya when her water broke and her husband was away. Was I just meant to see all those things but never experience it?
May mga nanligaw naman sa akin noon, may sakit si mama ng mga panahong iyon. Mas pinili kong alagaan siya dahil naisip kong marami pa naman panahon para doon at hindi pa ako handa, maraming lalaki sa mundo pero iisa lang ang mama ko. I never regretted turning those men down. I took care of my mother until her last breath. After her death, nag focus ako sa ng naiwan na flower shop business ni mama. Hindi pa rin ako handa ng mga panahon na iyon dahil ang dahilan ko kamamatay lang ng mama ko. Years went by and now that I was ready, it was already too late. Men want younger women. Nobody wants a 28-year-old old maid! Parang kotse lang yan, syempre mas pipiliin ng mga lalaki ang mga bagong model. To men I was probably the outdated car they wouldn’t be caught dead driving.
Biglang tumunog ang phone ko. I reached for it and averted my eyes from the tv to the phone screen. May nagchat sa akin sa fb.
Alvin Pascual: Hi, Marian. Do you still remember me?
Kumunot ang noo ko. Alvin Pascual? The name instantly rang a bell. Oh right, Betsy’s husband’s cousin. Nagkakilala kami sa birthday party ng asawa ni Betsy. He was cute, nice and charming but he had a girlfriend.
Marian Faith Perez: Of course. Ikaw yung pinsan ni Jeff. We met at his party.
Alvin Pascual: Right. Pwede ba kitang ayain lumabas? Maglunch tayo bukas.
Marian Faith Perez: Bakit?
Alvin Pascual: Wala lang. I just want to talk to you and get to know you more. You seem like an interesting woman.
Marian Faith Perez: Ha? Hindi ba may girlfriend ka?
Alvin Pascual: We broke up a couple of months ago.
I chewed on my bottom lip, not knowing what to reply.
Alvin Pascual: Marian?
Hindi kaya may kinalaman dito si Betsy? But who cares? It wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot!
Marian Faith Perez: Sige.
Alvin Pascual: Great! I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 3.
Oh my god! May date ako bukas! Someone finally asked me out! I got up from my seat and went to my room. Hinalughog ko ang closet ko at naghanap ng masusuot para bukas. I tried on a red body hugging strapless dress. Nah, too revealing for a first date. Then I tried a golden glittery dress. Where’s the party? Overdressed naman masyado! And finally, a white, flowy halter dress that ends just a little above the knee. Nagpaikot-ikot ako sa salamin. Perfect!
Kanina pa ako hindi mapakali. I kept cheking my hair, my face, my dress. Pasilip-silip ako sa bintana, tinitignan kung nandoon na si Alvin. At 3:03pm a black car pulled up in front of my car. I checked mysef on the compact powder mirror and took a deep breath. THIS IS IT!
I watched as Alvin got out of the car. Matangkad siya, kayumanggi, gwapo, kalbo. Mala-Will Devaughn. Lamang lang ng konting paligo si Will. He was wearing a blue and white checkered long sleeves and a pair of dark pants.Huminto siya sa harap ng pinto at pinindot niya ang doorbell. I walked to the door and opened it.
“Hi!” He said with a smile. “Ready?”
Two hours ago pa. “Yeah.”
“Let’s go!” He offered his arm to me. I wrapped an arm around his. Naglakad kami papunta sa kotse niya. Mabango siya pero hindi kasing bango ni Seth. I gasped inwardly at that thought. Hindi dapat sumasagi sa isip ko ang impaktong yun.
“May problema ba?” Tanong niya.
“Ah,wala… wala naman.” Sagot ko.
He opened the car door for me and gently guided me into the car and even buckled me up. He was such a gentleman. Umikot siya sa driver’s side ng kotse at pumasok doon. He placed the key in the ignition and then started the car.
“Alam mo matagal na kitang gusto ayain lumabas, nahihiya lang ako.” Sabi niya habang nagmamaneho. Aw, that was so cute.
“Bakit naman?” I asked.
“Nakakaintimidate ka kasi.” He answered.
“Hindi naman.” I laughed.
“You’re a beautiful, smart and independent woman. Kahit sinong lalaki mahihiyang lumapit sa’yo.”
“Ikaw naman! You flatter me too much.” I couldn’t help but giggle like a school girl.
After a few minutes, he was parking his car in front of a building. Bumaba siya para pagbuksan pa ako ng pinto at inalalayan pa ako pababa ng kotse. He treated me like I was a princess. Pumasok kami sa building, sumakay ng elevator at pumasok sa isang kwarto.
“Ano ‘to?” I looked at him, dumb founded. Bakit maraming upuan? Bakit maraming tao? Bakit may tao sa harap na parang teacher na naglelecture.
“Orientation. Gusto sana kitang i-recruit dito sa networking company namin.” Nakangiting sabi niya.
“Oh…” Iyon lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko pero iba ang sinasabi ng isip ko.
Walanghiya! Hayop! Ilang oras akong nag-ayos. Nagmake up pa ako, nagpa-mani-pedi pa ako, nag-curl pa ako ng buhok dadalhin mo lang pala ako sa lecheng orientation na ‘to. Walanghiya kang kalbo ka!
“This isn’t what I…” I sighed. “I’m going home.”
“Teka, Marian, marami kaming products na binebenta. Meron kaming organic juice, capsules, tea, coffee. Sobrang effective. Maganda sa kalusugan, FDA approved.” He said.
I began to walk away but he still followed me.
“Hindi ako interesado.” I said in a flat tone.
“Panoorin muna natin yung orientation, may libre naman lunch doon. Sa orientation makikita mo yung mga napagaling ng product namin. Meron pa nga may sakit na cancer. Hindi siya nagpa-chemo, yung herbal juice namin ang nagpagaling sa kanya. Noong nagpacheck up siya, para daw milagro dahil nawala daw bigla yung cancer niya.” Patuloy niya.
“Hindi nga ako interesado!” Inis na ulit ko. “Sa iba mo na lang ialok yan.”
“Ako nga, anim na buwan pa lang akong miyembro nakabili na ako ng kotse.”
I stopped walking and faced him. I took a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to claw him in the face. “Isa pang salita, ibubundol ko sa’yo yung kotseng sinasabi mo!”
Tamang-tama naman na huminto ang elevator. I got in and just as it was about to close, I raised my middle finger at him. He just stood there with mouth opened. Nagmamadali akong lumabas ng building at pumara ng taxi. God, I felt stupid. Hot tears streamed down my face.
Hindi na talaga ako aasahan. Ayoko na. Tanggap ko na na magiging matandang dalaga ako. Tanggap ko na na hindi ako magkakapamilya.
When I got back home, I changed into a comfy jogging pants and lose shirt and cried my eyes out while watching a comedy movie and eating a pint of ice cream. I drowned myself in my own sick self pity. This is what I would do for the rest of my boring life. Hindi na dapat ako lumabas sa kumbento noon kung magiging ganito din pala ang buhay ko. Sana nagmadre na lang ako.
Sa kalagitnaan ng pangalawang movie na pinanonood ko nagring ang phone ko. I didn’t want to pick it up but it won’t stop ringing. Nakakasira ka pag-emote! Inis na dinampot ko iyon.
“Marian.” It was Seth’s voice.
“What?”
“Pumunta ka dito.”
“Masama pakiramdam ko.” Dahilan ko.
“I want you here in 30 minutes.”
“Bwisit.” I whispered under my breath.
“Ano’ng sabi mo?”
“Oo, papunta na.” I rolled my eyes.
“That’s what I thought I heard.” I could easily imagine him with a smug smile on his face.
I rode a cab to his condominium at wala pang 30 minutes nandoon na ako. I was about to press the doorbell when the door opened. Isang magandang babaeng nakasuot ng micro mini dress ang lumabas doon. She was giggling and topless Seth was behind her, his hands on the sides of her waist.
“Bye, babe.” Paalam niya sa babae. He cupped his jaw with one hand and turned her head to the side so he could kiss her. They torridly kissed and tongued each other’s mouth right in front of me. I grimaced at what I just witnessed. Yuck!
Kunwaring umubo ako para malaman naman nila na nandito ako at mahiya silang maglampungan. They pulled back from the kiss and looked at me.
“Who is she?” Tanong ng babae kay Seth.
“Just my house cleaner.” He answered.
Seth gave her a slap on the butt and she squealed. “Seth!”
“I’ll call you later, okay?” He smiled.
Umalis na ang babae at naiwan kami ni Seth. He turned around and went in. Sumunod ako sa kanya. God, it was a mess! Parang hindi ko nilinis ito noong isang araw lang.
Seth’s POV
Marian was unnaturally quiet today. I wasn’t used to her not runnning her mouth off. Walang karekla-reklamong naglinis siya kahit makalat na naman ang unit ko. I invited over a few friends of mine and we had a small party last night. Maybe she wasn’t making an excuse up when I called her earlier, maybe she really didn’t feel good.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked. She didn’t answer. She picked up the empty cans of beer on the counter to throw it out. Kinuha ko iyon mula sa kanya. “Kung masama ang pakiramdam mo huwag mo ng pilitin.”
“Okay lang ako.”
“You don’t seem okay.” I said.
"Pangit ba ako?" She asked with watery eyes.
"Huh?" My brows furrowed.
"Yung totoo, pangit ba ako?" She pouted like a little girl.
I grabbed two beers in the fridge and gave one to her and opened the other. She opened the can of beer, gulped it down and winced.
"Seth, ano?" She pressed.
I looked at her. She is... beautiful. Honestly, she is. She had a pair of vibrant eyes, an elegant and slightly upturned nose, and she had a warm smile that could light up the whole room... the cutest smile I had ever seen on a woman. She wasn't a fragile beauty, not the 'damsel in distress' kind that needed a knight in shining armor. She looked like someone who could carry herself without trouble.
"Hindi." I shrugged.
"Bakit gano'n bakit walang nagkakagusto sa akin? Bakit wala pa rin akong boyfriend hanggang ngayon." She sobbed before taking another sip.
"I- I don't know..." Sagot ko. "Maybe it's because you don't look like a dumb ditzy princess who needs to be saved. Most men are crazy for that shit. They want to be superior than their women. They want a woman that needs them. It's their way of compensating for their tiny penises."
A small chuckle rose from Marian's throat. "You think so?"
"Mm-hm." I answered as I drank my beer.
"Sa tingin mo may posibilidad bang magkagusto ko sa akin?" Marian asked.
I almost spitted out the beer I was drinking. I looked at her and she looked damn serious. "Marian, I'm your... boss. I don't date house cleaners."
"Wag ka mag-alala. Hindi naman kita type. Pero kunwari lang, hindi mo ko house cleaner. May chance ba na magkagusto ka sa katulad kong babae?"
"Ano'ng katulad mong babae?" My brows furrowed. "I like women. I like all kinds of women. Dark skinned, fair skinned, province girls, high class brats. If you're pretty and you have a hole, I like you."
"Seth!" She grimaced.
"What do you expect from me? A profound answer? I'm a man. I'm shallow." I chuckled.