𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨.
𝗠𝗶𝗮𝗺𝗶, 𝗙𝗟 - 𝟯:𝟬𝟭𝗣𝗠.
𝗧𝗼𝗻𝗶.
☆ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ☆
𝙄'𝙢 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙪𝙥𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨.
"The fuck you mean you moving?" I frowned.
"I got offered a promotion but it's in Michigan-"
"I heard that part but why you telling me you moving? You staying here" I chuckled.
"Toni I'm taking this job whether you like it or not. We already discussed it and we leave in two weeks" He shrugged.
"You really just decided on moving to a whole different state without worrying about how I feel? You all I got you can't just leave" I said getting emotional.
"Toni you 18 now. Nothing gonna change baby girl. Only thing that's changing is that you just gon have to hop on a plane when you wanna come and see me" He shrugged.
"Why you have to leave so soon.." I sniffed.
"Because I got a family to provide for. Don't make this harder then it has to be, I'm moving but I ain't going nowhere" He kissed my forehead.
"How I'm pose to survive without you?" I mumbled.
"You been holding it down without me. You the one taking care of your two younger sisters and your niece & nephew while having a solid job. You don't need me Toni you doing good on your own" He explained.
"What if I get fired? How I'm pose to take care of them then?" I asked.
"Then imma fly my ass up here and curse your nigga out and then his aunt who own the shop" He spat.
"Ion want you to leave" I cried in my hands.
"Toni we know this is hard but we want you to know we proud of you. You had to grow up fast because of your mother but you turned out way more then okay. You got this I believe you can do it" My dad wife smiled at me.
"Thanks.." I mumbled.
"Baby did you tell her yet?" She asked.
"Tell me what?" I looked up wiping my tears.
"No I ain't tell her yet" He chuckled.
"Why the hell not? Watchu waiting for?" She slapped him upside his head.
"Aye girl quit playing" He mugged her.
"Fine I'll say it then. We thinking about adopting a kid once we move to Michigan" She smiled but my face stayed the same the whole time.
"Oh" I simply said.
"I thought you would've been more excited then that" She pouted.
"Her ass gotta attitude that's why" My dad kissed his teeth.
"I really don't like you right now. Stop talking to me" I mugged him.
"Why you only mad at me though?" He frowned.
"Why you still talking to me?" I blinked at him.
"Just like yo damn mother. Always want somebody to kiss yo ass" He slouched in his seat.
"Grow up" I mugged him.
"You first" He smiled.
"Anyways. Why y'all wanna have another kid? Them hoes a lot of work" I said.
"Our life boring. Your father always working and Jalen (my dad wife son) about to be a senior. We're gonna be lonely" She sighed.
"So travel. You don't needa kid to make your life exciting" I said in a duh tone.
"You know yo father cheap as hell. He don't have a problem spending money on you though" She mugged him.
"You know I gotta spoil my baby. I'm always spending money on you too so cut it out" He mugged her.
"Who said you could speak?" She cocked her head to the side.
"Almost called yo ass the B word" He mugged her.
"Do it I dare you" She stared at him.
"Y'all dead wrong for making Jalen move to a whole different state his senior year" I shook my head.
"That's what I said" Jalen said coming in the kitchen.
"Oh he speaks" She eyed him.
"I"m still not talking to y'all" He opened the fridge grabbing a cold gatorade.
"You ain't been talking to them?" I laughed.
"Hell no" He drunk his gatorade.
"Girl he ain't spoke to us in 6 days like that's really finna change our mind" She laughed.
"Jalen you wan live wimme?" I asked.
"You fr?" His eyes widened.
"Oh boy no I was playing" I laughed making him kiss his teeth.
"Bruh you play too much" He mugged me.
"It ain't even enough space in my lil ass apartment. Plus you a boy all my food gon be gone uh uh" I shook my head.
"That wouldn't have worked anyway. His ass still gotta crush on Star you would've been taking care of 3 babies if he lived there" His mom shook her head.
"You still like Star?" I laughed.
"Nigga seen her one time and that was 4 years ago" My dad laughed.
"Y'all on dick" He mugged us.
"Star got a bf anyway" I shrugged.
"Ion know why they making it seem like I'm hung up on shawdy. I think she cute and that's all" He shrugged.
"Purr get yo point across" I laughed.
"I'm finna go to this pool party. Don't wait up" He told them before he left out.
"You think we doin the right thing babe?" She looked at my dad.
"No" I answered for him.
"Shut the fuck up Toni" He spat.
"Yes. You wanna go on all them trips this how we gonna do it. You forgot I'm getting a raise?" He asked.
She sighed nodding.
"We'll I'm finna go. Can't believe you made me drive 3 hours just to tell me you leaving me" I mugged him standing up.
"Bye baby" She hugged me. "You keep doing what you doing okay? I'm proud of you" She smiled.
"Thank you" I hugged her back. "Stay pretty" I told her.
"Always" She smirked.
"Wait Toni holdup" He stood up.
"What?" I sighed turning around.
"Before we leave I wanna visit my son grave with you one more time" He said.
"You don't even gotta ask. Of course I'll go with you" I pulled him into a hug.
"I love you okay? Don't ever forget that" He kissed my cheek.
"I love you too" I sniffed.
"I''ll be back before y'all leave" I told them.
"Okay baby drive safe" She waved. I nodded before leaving out.
I raised my eyebrows seeing Jalen leaning against my car. I thought this nigga left.
"I thought you left" I said walking over to him.
"I did leave but then I came back cuz I wanted to talk to you bout sum" He explained.
"Wassup?" I asked.
"You wan help me throw a goodbye party? I'm tryna leave Florida onna good note" He said.
"I thought you wasn't talking to them" I raised my eyebrows.
"I'm not even gon lie imma crack soon. She ain't been feeding me since I ain't been talking to her. A nigga tired of spending his money on fast food" He said making me laugh.
"I'll help you. You wan have it here?" I asked.
"Fuck no. Our white ass neighbors gon get it shutdown." He shook his head.
"I forgot y'all in the suburbs" I laughed.
"I was thinking we could have it at a park close to yo crib since yo apartment too small" He told me.
"Bet when you wan have it?" I asked.
"Next Saturday good for you?" He asked.
"Ion think I work that day so yea that's fine" I nodded.
"Ight. I'll worry about getting them down there. Invite as many people as you can I'm tryna have a good turn out" He told me.
"I gotchu" I told him.
"Ard good looking out Toni. Drive safe" He hugged me.
"You too" I hugged him back before I unlocked my car hopping in.
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"I know I should be happy for him but I just can't" I sighed.
"Why you ain't tell him how you really felt when you was there?" He asked rubbing my thigh.
"I ain't want him to know because if he really knew how I felt then he would've stayed. If he knew this was taking a big toll on me he would've said fuck it and that's not fair" I mumbled.
"But I'm still mad as fuck" I added on.
"I'm glad you wasn't selfish cuz you can be sometimes" Vic said making me snap my neck in his direction.
"You think I'm selfish?" I frowned.
"Sometimes you is yea" He nodded.
"How I'm selfish?" I mugged him.
"You selfish when it come to yo sisters" He shrugged.
"How?" I spat.
"I get you go through a lot, but sometimes you act like you the only one outta them that go through shit. You don't even be caring enough to ask them if they good but they always go out they way to see if you good, especially Star" He explained and I kept quiet really taking in on what he said.
"Ion want you to get mad either. I just want you to realize what you doin and work on it" He continued to rub my thigh.
"What else since you know me so well" I mugged him.
"You don't take criticism well at all. Ion even know why you asking me dat" He laughed at me.
"Ion find shit funny Vic" I mugged him.
"You really mad? Nun I said was a lie go ask yo sisters if you really don't believe me" He shrugged.
"Fine nigga I will" I spat standing up.
"Star? Where y'all at?" I called out walking down the hall.
I looked in Star room not seeing her making me make my way to Daijah room.
"Aye ya'll I gotta question-" I stopped in my tracks seeing Daijah crying while Star was comforting her. Fuck was going on?
"What's wrong?" I asked coming in further.
They both ignored me making me kiss my teeth kneeling down in front of Daijah.
"Where Leigh & Kaine?" I asked her.
"They in my room sleep" Star rolled her eyes.
"Did a nigga do something to you Daijah?" I asked. Still no fucking answer they was bouta blow me.
"Why the fuck y'all ignoring me?" I spat standing up crossing my arms across my chest.
"Daijah's pregnant" Star sighed.
"Star!" She yelled.
"What? You couldn't hide it forever she was gonna find out" She yelled back.
"I'm sorry what?" I chuckled putting my hand behind my ear.
"I'm pregnant again Toni" She said not even able to look me in the eye.
"The fuck you mean you pregnant again? You promised me you would stop being a hoe" I yelled.
"I did stop I swear" She cried harder.
"Who the fuck is the baby then Daijah? If you even know this time" I spat.
"My boy best friend Ken" She mumbled.
"Who the fuck is Ken?" I spat.
"That boy that's always over here with his cousin Nahjay" Star answered for her.
"I'm confused here. You saying he your boy best friend but y'all fucking? Why the fuck are you still even having sex? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED YOUR LESSON?" I yelled at her.
"Y'all good in here?" Vic popped his head in the doorway.
"No we not good. Her dumbass pregnant again" I mugged Daijah.
"How far along are you?" He asked her.
"12 weeks" She said avoiding eye contact.
"I really can't believe you. Your kids not even 1 yet and you already popping your coochie open for just anybody" I looked at her with disgust.
"Cut her some slack Toni" Star spat.
"He's not just anybody okay? He's always there for me. He understands me" She cried.
"We've been there for you ever since we forgave you. Stop tryna make it seem like you don't got nobody" I kissed my teeth.
"Toni I know you still hate me. I can see it myself, just admit it" She looked at me.
"What?" I frowned.
"I know you only took me in because of Star. Ken's always there for me when I need you the most." She sniffled.
"Ion get why him simply being there for you means it gotta lead to sex" I stale faced her.
"Forget it. Ion even know why I tried to get you to understand. You don't even care about me" She stood up pushing past me.
"Where the fuck you going Daijah?" I called out after her.
"Can you believe this shit Vic? She only 16 bouta be on her third kid" I stressed.
I felt a pair of eyes on me making me glance at Star who was muggin the fuck outta me.
"What?" I scrunched my face up.
"Daijah's right you know. You've been treating Daijah wrong. She made a mistake Toni, people make mistakes. You're always so quick to judge her as if you don't make fucked up decisions. We haven't been good sisters to her at all. It's obvious she only feels loved when she's being intimate with someone because she doesn't get what she's craving from her own family and until she does, she's gonna keep popping out babies. This is nobody's fault but ours this could've been prevented if we paid more attention to her" Star sighed.
"I know you got a lot going on but you aren't the only one that's going through things Toni. You're selfish and think you're the only one with problems when your not. Wake up" She yelled.
"Now I'm gonna go try to find my little sister since it seems like I'm the only one that cares so don't wait up" She grabbed her house keys pushing past me.
I stared at the wall as tears slowly welled up in my eyes. I've been so caught up in my own shit where I forgot to ask the people I care about the most how they were doing.
"Toni.." Vic mumbled.
"I didn't even have to ask them the question and they just answered for me. Do you know how embarrassing that is?" I turned around looking at him.
"Come here" He sighed opening his arms. I walked into his chest crying as I wrapped my arms around his torso as he held me.
"What's on yo mind Toni?" He asked.
"I'm embarrassed and disappointed in myself. Ion even believe imma good person anymore" I cried.
"You still learning things about yourself. Now that you know this watchu gon do to fix it?" He pulled away lifting my chin up with his finger.
"I gotta fix this" I looked up at him.
"You know where she might be?" He asked me.
"I know exactly where" I nodded.
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"I slowly walked through the graveyard as I made my way to my brothers grave. The ride here I really thought long and hard about what my sisters had said to me. As much as I ain't wanna admit it, they were right and that's what hurt the most.
I spotted Daijah sitting at Antonio grave. The closer I got the more I heard her cries. She was crying because of me.
"I miss him too" I blurted out.
She looked back at me before she quickly wiped her tears.
I took a seat next to her staring at his grave. I placed the flowers I had brought before I came here on the grave before I placed my hand on his grave making a silent prayer.
"Do you think if he was still here our life would be a lil easier?" Daijah asked.
"Honestly I think it would but Antonio's life would've been harder" I said.
"Because he would've been taking care of us?" She looked at me.
"Nah.. because he would've always put us first instead of himself" I looked at her and she nodded.
"Daijah-"
"It's okay Toni. You don't gotta say anything I know I'll always be a disappointment to you" She sighed.
"Tell me what I did wrong Daijah. I wanna hear it from you" I pleaded.
She looked at me for a few seconds before she sighed nodding.
"I just wish you could've asked me how I felt. I felt so alone my whole pregnancy I just wanted to hear you guys were proud of me. You don't know what it's like seeing looks of disgust eveytime you go outside. I just wanted to be looked at more from you and Star that I wasn't a hoe, that I was your sister and Ken saw that. I know you don't agree with me sleeping with him I honestly didn't think it was gonna happen but I was just so vulnerable and he happened to be there and it just happened. He didn't look at me like everyone else did he saw more as the girl that got pregnant. He cares about me and that's all I wanted was someone to just care about me, not because they felt that they had to" She mumbled.
"I'm sorry it had to take you to actually tell me what I've been doing for me to realize what I was doing. You were right about eveything, yes I did forgive you but I was still hard on you and I think it was because I just wanted better for yourself. All people know you as is the girl that got pregnant at 15 and don't even know the baby father to her kids. I want your life to be more meaningful then just giving birth to beautiful kids. Star made a point tonight where she told me that you told her that you only feel loved when you have sex with people and the fact that I play a role with how you are with that really hurts me. I should've been there for you more, I should've showed love to you more and I'm so sorry I didn't. I've always loved you Daijah even when I hated you. You my lil sister and I haven't been a good sister to you and I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to realize. I'm still tryna figure out my flaws and myself out as a person but I really wanna work on our bond with all three of us. I be stuck in my own world and be brushing y'all to the side and I'm really sorry. If I lost you & Star I really don't know what I would do. I really just want you to understand that I only want better for you but I guess I was just tryna get you to see that the wrong way" I explained.
"Ion tell you enough that I love you but I really do." I smiled softly.
"I love you too Toni" She cried pulling me into a hug.
"Stop crying you gon make me cry" I tried blinking back my tears.
"I haven't been a good aunt either. I just want us to start over you think we can do that?" I pulled away looking at her.
"I'd love to" She chuckled wiping her tears.
"This baby gon be loved as much as the other two. I promise" I pointed to her stomach.
"Ion even care what the gender is. I just wanna meet it" She smiled at her stomach.
"You don't gotta worry about getting a job anymore. I'll handle it" I told her.
"But Toni-"
"That's gon be too much on your plate. Imma handle it I promise" I told her.
"Thanks Toni" She smiled.
"So do you love this boy Ken?" I asked.
"I really do. As much as I had sex, it's not just sex with him you know it's more then that. I've never been in love with anyone before but I actually think I'm in love with him and that scares me" She told me.
"Trust me I know the feeling. When I realized I was in love with Donavic I was so scared and nervous but once they know how you really feel it makes you even more happy" I told her.
"Really? So I should tell him?" She asked.
"If he's showing you that he really loves you then yes. The nigga don't always gotta tell you he loves you first" I shrugged.
"He already told me he was in love with me so too late"
"It still won't hurt saying it back then. Do it where it catches him off guard" I told her.
"I definitely will. It feels good talking to you" She smiled.
"We can start. All three of us can" I told her.
"I thought you don't like talking about your problems" She eyed me.
"I don't but if I can do it with Vic then I can do it with y'all" I shrugged.
"Great cuz I've always wanted to vent and ask y'all for advice. I was just always scared to" She chuckled.
"Things finna change, and I mean a good change" I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
"Can we leave now? This graveyard starting to creep me out" She looked around.
"I'm so glad you asked" My scary ass stood up hella fast.
"You think Star still looking for me?" She looked at me.
"Prolly not. She gon be mad I was the one that found you though" I laughed already knowing what she was finna say.
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We walked further into the apartment seeing Star chilling on the couch with Bugo ugly ass.
Since I been MIA I haven't really been around them. I missed them like shit though but they ain't needa know that.
"You found her?" Star gasped quickly standing up.
"Yea" I threw my keys on the table.
"Star come here real quick" I told her.
She raised her eyebrows walking over to me. I pulled her into a hug catching her off guard. "You was right and I'm sorry. I wanna work on our bond together if that's okay" I told her.
"That means a lot Toni. Of course I wanna work on it" She smiled hugging me back.
"Good" I nodded.
"So y'all made up?" She looked between us while Daijah nodded.
"Yay I'm so glad" She clapped.
While Star caught up with Daijah I plopped on the couch since I felt like bothering Bugo mean ass.
"I see yo ass back from the dead" He eyed me licking his jay.
"And I see you still ugly" I looked him up and down.
"Girl you know I'm far from ugly. We miss you though"He cleared this throat.
"No y'all don't cuz none of y'all checked on me" I mugged him.
"Let's be honest yo ass wouldn't have texted back" He kissed his teeth.
"You right but it's still the thought that counts" I rolled my eyes.
"You got me fucked up if you think imma go outta my way to make sure you okay just for you not to text me back. Tuuh! Shitten me" He laughed.
"Ard shut the fuck up" I laughed bumping his arm.
"Bruh this why I can't roll around you. Always making me drop my fucking weed" His mad ass said tryna pick up the weed off his lap.
"It was on accident" I laughed watching him struggle.
"Shutup and help me pick this shit up" He spat.
"Say please daddy" I smirked.
"Star come get yo sister bruh" He kissed his teeth.
"Everyone doing okay though?" I asked him.
"Yea. Teo becoming a simp though. Shit still the same though" He shrugged.
"Imma come over there tomorrow" I told him and he nodded.
"Bugo?" I asked.
"What?" He looked up at me.
"You love my sister?" I asked.
He looked back glancing at Star before he looked at me.
"Nah. Only reason why I ain't break up with her cuz I ain't tryna hear yo mouth" He said making me kiss my teeth.
"You play to much I'm being serious" I punched him in his arm.
"Hit me again and imma use yo thigh as a ashtray" He spat.
"ASHTRAY BITCH!" I yelled.
He moved the blunt closer to my thigh making me jump. "Ard chill out" I laughed.
"Nah but all seriousness I do. She different from all the females I fucked with. I'm not used to this healthy shit but she make a nigga wanna be better in life you know? I love how caring she is and that she still got dreams. She always making sure I'm straight and don't be tryna force shit either. She simple but like a good simple. She trust me and she knows that people make mistakes. I love the fuck outta yo sister" He took a pull from his blunt.
"Aww Bugo" I pouted.
"Nah scratch love I'm in love wit ha" He shrugged.
"I'm happy for both of y'all. I mean that" I smiled at him.
"Preciate it" He chuckled.
"Aye but I need you to fight these bitches for me. They keep talking shit on instagram bout yo sister" He eyed me.
"The fuck for what?" I frowned.
"They mad cuz a nigga locked in" He smirked.
"Imma definitely handle that. Now who this girl Teo supposedly simping over?"