Scarlett
The sun had barely started to make an appearance as I stood on the balcony of our room, taking in the fresh ocean air smell. It was completely quiet and peaceful out there, but it was the exact opposite inside my head. I don't think I slept even an hour. It felt wrong to sleep next to Phoenix, keeping something so huge from him.
Last night I went from being there for a friend whose whole world was already crumbling from something so painful, thinking it was about to be shaken up even more, to having my own world flip upside down in a matter of seconds.
I took in a deep breath, replaying that moment of realization once again...that I was going to be a mom.
"Well, I guess there probably isn't much chance of it being a false positive after that," Vee spoke softly, looking down at the four pregnancy tests I had taken just to be sure that had all read clear as day that I was pregnant.
"They could be defective...maybe...right? Do you think that's possible?" My brows furrowed, looking over to see doubt written all over her face.
She gave me a half-smile. "I mean, it could be, but..."
"See? Yeah, that's what it is then," I cut her off, picking up the tests from the counter in a hurry as she gently placed her hand on my wrist.
"Scar," Her voice came out in a caring tone.
My eyes filled with hot tears on the verge of bursting out and down my cheeks like a broken dam. It was confusing because as much as I wanted to deny that a sweet little baby has been growing inside me all this time, a feeling of happiness rushed in of the fact that I was carrying Phoenix's child...our baby.
I turned around to face Vee as her head tilted and a small smile appeared on her face. "It's going to be okay," As soon as the words left her mouth, I broke down. We ended up sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor while she hugged me tightly.
"I don't know how this happened," My head lifted as I was slowly pulling away.
Vee arched a brow. "Well, it all started with the birds and the bees..."
A corner of my mouth curved up, letting out a short chuckle. "No, I think I understand that part very well, but I had my period, and I've been taking my birth control religiously."
"I don't know, hun. Are you sure it was your period?"
I nodded. "Yes, I mean, it was lighter than it normally has been in the past, but my doctor said that with everything going on with me recently, having some abnormal cycles is to be expected, so I didn't really think anything of it."
"Maybe you just ended up in that .01% chance of birth control. Sometimes it can fail on us."
"And it just had to choose to fail on me, didn't it," A nervous and anxious filled laugh escaped me.
Vee took my hand, squeezing it. "Hey, minutes ago you were keeping my head held high and there for me when you didn't have all the answers, but you made me feel like I had so many people in my corner that no matter the outcome, I would have been able to get through it all. Now it's my turn, but you should already feel the immense love and support that you will have through this. Nobody outside of this bathroom knows the beautiful and precious gift that you have right now. Still, I don't have to wait till you choose to tell everyone downstairs to know that every single one of them will cherish you and this baby till the end of time, including me. I was scared that if I were pregnant, my child would have to grow up with a dad that didn't even know how to be a real man, let alone a father, but I have no doubts that Phoenix will step up and be the dad he was always meant to be. Just like you will be the mother you were always meant to be," Tears fell down my cheeks again, taking every sweet word from Vee to my heart. "Yeah, it's obviously way sooner than you ever imagined, and you thought you had your whole life figured out, yet sometimes the biggest challenges end up being a blessing in disguise. I haven't known you and Nix as long as the other's, but I have seen the pain and the struggles you two have gone through in such a short time, yet your relationship has only grown stronger and your love deeper."
"Now, look who should be the therapist," I sniffled with a gentle smile before it started to fall as the worries crept back into my head. "We were supposed to get married, Phoenix was going to be in the MLB, I was going to have started teaching a couple of years first at least, and we'd have a house with a dog. We had a plan...the perfect plan."
Her face softened, giving me a look of understanding. "So the last step ended up being the first step? An imperfectly perfect life seems more meaningful and special than one that's planned out and goes the exact way you want it to. There are not two people that I know that would be better parents than you two. This baby will grow up knowing what true unconditional love and family are, and I'm so damn excited to be a part of that. The luckiest little one in the entire world."
"Vee, you're going to make us both drown in an ocean of my tears if you keep talking like that," I said, wiping under my eyes with the back of my sleeve as she chuckled.
"I meant every word, Scar."
"Thank you," My quiet voice spoke up gratefully.
Vee sat there with me in silence, being patient as I tried to wrap my head around everything.
My eyes widened, looking panicked. "I don't even know how to change a diaper. Am I about to raise a baby in a tiny apartment with Nix and my brother? We don't even own a table to eat at. Where will the baby sit? Oh, I guess they have baby chairs, right? That's a thing. How much do they eat? The guys already devour everything in the fridge every few days. I'm going to have to get groceries every day. And do I have to let our landlords know I'm pregnant, or do they care? I mean, they make you notify them for a pet, but I feel like this is a whole different situation. It's a human."
"Woah, hey, slow down," Vee snapped me out of my racing thoughts. "I think you're forgetting about the biggest question here," I tilted my head, eagerly waiting for her to tell me. "When and how are you going to tell Phoenix?"
The sudden sound of the sliding glass door startled me as I jumped, coming back to reality on the balcony. "Shit, you scared the hell out of me," I placed my hand over my heart.
Phoenix stepped out with a furrow to his brows. "Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare you."
I let out a breath before he wrapped his comforting arms around me, pulling me against his chest. "It's okay."
"What are you doing out here so early? I thought you would be trying to sleep in every last second before we get on the road back home."
"I woke up sad because our time is up in paradise so I came to savor the view. It's so easy to get lost in thought out here while listening to the waves splash against the sand. The beach is so calm and beautiful just before the sun wakes up the rest of the world," I nuzzled my head into him, feeling the warmth he surrounded me with.
Phoenix placed a sweet kiss on the top of my head. "Don't worry, Shortcake. We'll come back here sometime soon."
"Promise?" I spoke quietly.
"Promise. We should make it like a tradition with everyone."
I looked up at him with a smile. "I'd like that."
His eyes met mine, making my cheeks feel warm at his gaze. "God, you're so damn beautiful," He told me as his fingers lightly grazed my cheek before slipping his hand behind my neck.
"I have bedhead and the leftover makeup I was too lazy to clean off last night smudged all over my face," My brow raised with a little smirk.
"Yeah, but something about the way the sun is shining down on that pretty smile of yours makes all of that not matter. Plus, I like the messy hair, and the raccoon look you got going on," His eyes crinkled at the corners as I gently swatted his chest.
"Watch it now, Nixie. You were doing so well there for a minute."
A handsome grin formed on his face before he took my chin, pulling my face up to his. "I love you," He quickly said before his lips were on mine, kissing me slowly.
When we pulled apart, my stomach twisted into a knot as the worry and the fear reappeared in me. The second Phoenix came out here, all troubles and concerns I had vanished because his presence has always been the one thing I needed to feel safe and secure instantly. Will that change when I tell him the news? What if this changes us? What if he freaks out? Okay, it would be normal to do that since I'm already doing my fair share of it but still. I want him to be happy, yet I'm too scared I'm going to push him away with this. He already has so much on his plate. I just need to tell him...I have to tell him, but how do I even start? By the way, you're going to have to juggle college, baseball, and being a dad. Surprise. Ugh, I can't do this.
"Are you alright, babe?" Nix rubbed my back. "You look like you're going to be sick."
Ha, that about sums it up, actually.
"Yeah, just thinking about school and how I'm going to catch up," I lied, feeling the guilt well up in me. Damn it, Scar, just tell him. Maybe I should wait until we're home, though. The drive home might be weird if I do it now.
Nix placed his hands on my lower back, looking down at me. "Hey, don't worry about that right now. Besides, you have me to help you. I'll pull all-nighters with you if we have to in order for you to feel ready and back on track. We got this, okay?"
My heart pounded against my chest, and my eyes began to water. What am I thinking? Nix isn't going to change or drift away because of this. He's always been there. My number one supporter even when I didn't even know it. He's been there for me for my entire life, and now I'm worried that he's going to just stop? I'm an idiot for even questioning it. No one has to tell me that he would be an amazing dad because I have always known that. I have seen the caring soul that he has, the love he gives to those around him, and the shoulder that's there to lean on for anyone that needs it. He's the only man I would want by my side...to help raise our children. He's going to be the best dad I could ever imagine him being, and I'm so fucking lucky to witness that, even if it's sooner than what we planned. "Nixie, I..."
*Woof, Woof, Woof*
A dog barking happily below us on the beach interrupted me.
Phoenix and I both looked down to see a Golden Retriever puppy running beside a little girl, not more than two or three. Her blonde hair was put up in pigtails with purple bows wrapped around each of them and a matching dress. She was giggling as the dog nudged her hand with its nose, and they made foot and paw prints in the sand. The parents were struggling to keep up behind them, which was a little comical.
"Look at that," A smile crossed his lips as he put his arm around my shoulder.
"Those two look like trouble...cute trouble, though."
Nix chuckled. "That'll be us someday, but you'll be the one trailing behind."
I arched a brow. "Why's that?"
"Because you never go on runs with me, and I doubt you ever will," He gave my cheek a quick kiss.
My face softened with a bit of a smile as I looked down at the little girl and her puppy, who were both so full of joy and happiness. "What if that day came sooner than you thought?"
"What? You mean you might actually go on a run with me?" His voice sounded hopeful.
"No," I let out a nervous laugh. "That," He followed my eyes to the beach before his face became confused.
"What do you mean?"
My body turned towards him, feeling the nerves rush through me. "I'm pregnant."
His arms fell to his sides as he stared down at me in shock. "You're.. you're what?"
"I'm pregnant," I spoke with a shaky voice.
Phoenix gently cupped my face with both his hands, staring into my eyes for what felt like forever. "We're having a baby?"
My lip quivered, nodding. "Yes... you're going to be a dad, Nix."
"I'm going to be a dad," He repeated in disbelief as the most heartwarming smile I had ever seen on him appeared, making my heart burst. "You're sure?"
"Yeah, the four positive pregnancy tests I took sure seem to think so."
His eyes grew bigger and brighter before his lips met mine in a blink of an eye, and his arms held me tight. "I can't believe this."
When I pulled away, I looked up at him. "You aren't scared? Why aren't you freaking out because I'm kind of freaking out."
"No, I'm scared shitless, but you know what I feel more than that?"
"What?"
"Happy...you are the only one in the fucking world that I would ever want to share this moment with, Scarlett. We may have wanted this to be years from now, but," His eyes looked down to my stomach, placing his hand protectively on it. "This little one obviously has some other plans in store for us," I threw my arms around him, sobbing into his chest as he held onto me sweetly. "You have nothing to be afraid of, Scar. I'm not going anywhere....never."
"I love you," I cried, barely able to say anything else. I felt so many emotions at the same time it was extremely overwhelming, yet for now, not one concern or worry popped up because I was in his arms...the place I knew as home.
Phoenix wiped the wild hair out of my face when we parted, looking at me with so much love and adoration. "I love you...both of you."
A sweet smile formed on my lips as I met his gaze. "I guess that house full of kids dream you told me about in the hospital is starting earlier than we thought."
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Author's Note:
It might not have been a planned out idea to tell Nix but I felt like it was the perfect way for Scar to do it especially feeling anxious and worried while keeping it a secret. With my first baby, I decided to tell my husband in a cute way but with our second I was so excited that I ran out of the bathroom with a positive test and blurted out "I'm pregnant" right there. Hahah
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! ❤️