Trust depends almost entirely upon the truth. Fragments of truth leads to fragments of trust. Yet we'd begun letting little truth determine our entire trust.
It's Kaden.
Up until then, I never realised how much so few words could destroy everything in the blink of an eye; the thud of a heartbeat; the splitting of a second.
The pack hadn't discussed staying in Montana for the rest of the summer. But from the moment I got that call from Halia, it was like everything and everyone started moving on an accelerated timescale.
Needless to say, chaos reigned the ranch for a good few weeks. We had endless discussions and debates over what to do, and where we should go. Only one thing remained constant:
The pack could no longer coexist.
Alliances had shifted, priorities had altered, and a new Alpha was emerging.
Jonathan (Theo's long-lost dad who he'd recently found again) and Maia (who'd been a somewhat failed experiment of the hunters and was now a skinwalker) remained focused on heading to learn more about Maia's new and volatile nature as a skinwalker.
Jason and Jade didn't falter either – it became very apparent very quickly that they were willing to rid themselves of 'pack responsibilities' as soon as possible.
Abi and Zack were torn between heading to a secluded cabin in Canada and joining me, Theo, Ryder and Thea in going to the UK. Both of them were of a compassionate and empathetic nature, that much was apparent. Yet when Theo made the call that they don't get involved, they agreed almost instantly.
Like I said, alliances were shifting.
Neither Ryder nor Thea had ever been to the UK before. Ryder was excited, in spite of what we knew we'd face on our return – or, had a vague idea of what we'd face anyways. Theo and Thea having to part with their dad after only just having been reunited was heart-wrenching to watch.
After booking flights, trains or coaches with money scraped together from Jonathan's savings and elsewhere, it wasn't long before the former pack members left one by one.
In order to cover the extra cost to return to the UK by plane, Theo and Ryder got jobs as dishwashers and Thea and I put in some hours in the same diner.
Considering I'd never worked before, I enjoyed the toil immensely – most likely because of the prospect of returning home was driving me forwards. Of course, the long hours up on my feet, having to contend with getting orders right, were gruelling.
With all four of us having worked long hard evening and weekends – we still attended high school, surprisingly – it wasn't too long before we'd earned enough. We'd be broke upon arriving in the UK, but once we got there, I was hoping things would start falling into place.
By the time the full moon came around again, it was just Theo, Ryder and Thea out in the woods – with me staying in the ranch alone, counting down the hours before they returned safely.
Inevitably, we were the last to leave the ranch. The previous number of emotional goodbyes left tears embedded in the ranch's wooden floor panels and seemed to linger constantly.
"I'll miss this place." Ryder voiced, a hand resting on a wooden doorframe.
"We'll come back one day." Theo reassured him, placing a hand on the Beta's shoulder.
Will we?
"Let's just get going already." Thea huffed, lugging her last bag outside, "We're gonna end up being late!"
Ryder, after one last look around the ranch and taking a framed photo of his mum, stepped into the sunshine too.
It was early August by now. And yet it was hard to believe that it had already been a month and a half since that phone call from Halia. It felt like yesterday when I uttered the words: It's Kaden.
"You okay?" Theo checked and set his bag down beside us.
In response, I turned to him and hugged him tightly, burying my face against his chest. He stroked my loose hair softly and held me close to him.
Our relationship had noticeably become a lot less intimate over the past few months. We still shared a bed, but had somehow ended up sleeping back-to-back. We'd even stopped saying The L Word to each other. I don't know what that meant for us or our feelings...it was like I wasn't sure if I even still loved him.
I didn't know what was driving that wedge between us, but I desperately hoped that it would resolve soon.
"Are you looking forward to going home?" He asked, making a move to step away from our embrace.
I held onto him tighter. "It doesn't seem fair we're leaving your home so quickly."
Theo pulled his top half away from me, taking a second to drink in my anxious facial features. "Home is where the heart is, Ember. And my heart is with you."
A blush rose in my cheeks and my heart melted for him a little more.
"You know we're heading straight towards a world of trouble, right?" I checked, acting as if his sentiment had gone unnoticed.
Theo shrugged his signature shrug, "We'll get through it. Just gotta ride out the storm."
"You make it sound so easy." I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
"We'll make it through. Promise you'll stay by my side?" Theo let his guard down, opening up and revealing his vulnerability – he thinks he'll lose me.
"I promise." I stood up on my tiptoes and sealed my promise with a kiss on his lips.
Much too soon, he pulled away from me, and I bit my lip anxiously. It's kind of like he's afraid of getting too close to me again. And every time he does, he pulls away before it's too late...
Too late for what, though?
"You two coming?" Ryder shouted to us from outside the ranch.
"Yep!" Theo shouted back, grabbed his duffel bag and walked out without a backwards glance.
I sighed heavily and wrapped my arms around myself, my last bag already hung on my shoulder. I'd just started to get comfortable here...and yet things were changing so quickly.
Change is inevitable, I mentally reminded myself and walked slowly out of the ranch – almost as if the memories I'd gathered here were wrapping themselves around my arms and dragging me back, preventing me from leaving.
Outside, sunlight shone down from a clear blue sky and the air was humid. It wouldn't be long before sweat would start making a steady stream down my back.
Jason and Jade took the GMC Sierra pickup truck with them when they left. They didn't even ask. Which is a pretty shit move to pull, if you ask me – but, of course, no one did.
With our bags slung over our shoulders, Theo, Ryder, Thea and I managed to catch a bus into Missoula. The bus ride was hot and sweaty and yet Theo's body still wasn't close enough to me.
Silence reigned the summer's day, blanketing the four of us as trepidation settled in our veins – making everything unbearable and suffocatingly hot. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears, an undeniable crescendo of anxiety.
My t-shirt clung to my sweaty back and I swiped the sweat off my top lip as we reached Missoula Airport after what felt like an eternity on the bus.
The thumping blood moved deeper into my head and made everything feel fuzzy as we handed our passports over to border control.
"Are you okay?" Theo's voice echoed into my ear, though the moths inside my brain remained.
I shook my head but kept my mouth firmly shut, worried I was going to throw up.
"We've got to get her out of here." Theo snapped into action – his voice both far away and close at the same time.
"What? What's wrong?" Ryder spoke; he was also a long way away from me.
Then I was falling through the air, my knees gave way and I was tumbling in a freefall spin. Strong arms wrapped around my body tightly before I hit the ground and I was carried somewhere.
Suddenly, I found it hard to breathe – my lungs seemed to clog up and my state of freefall ended with me snapping back into reality and leaning forwards into a gag. The arms clutched me tighter, and I glanced up to see Theo carrying me in his arms.
Using his foot to kick open the door, he carried me into another room at the airport.
Where are you taking me? The thought swirled into my mind and out again as I struggled to inhale air. What the hell is happening to me?
I clutched at Theo's arm in a blind panic, nails scraping at his skin. He knew something was wrong with me – I could see through the haze just enough to make out his worried expression.
The haze cleared, and then my body began shuddering violently – hot hysteria coursing through my veins. Then the heat seemed to harden in my stomach and rise up through my throat like an inescapable tidal wave. I couldn't hold it back anymore.
My body hurled forwards out of the safety of Theo's arms and onto a hard, tiled floor – on which I proceeded to retch out huge lumps of char. The smoke lingered as the char kept exiting my body; more than ever before.
And it was still smouldering with my fire.
When the smoke cleared, Theo was by my side, rubbing my back slowly and holding my hair back from my sweaty face. "Are you alright?" He asked, tone tender and wary.
Tears – induced by the smell and heat of the char – gathered in my eyes like mourners at a funeral. "No," the word came out a hoarse whisper.
Turning me away from the char, Theo remained on the floor with me. He stroked the side of my sweat-sheened face, his hand soothingly cool.
"I bet I look like shit after all that." I pulled a face and wiped my sweaty brow, swallowing hard to prevent any more burned char from rising up again.
"You'll always look beautiful to me." He moved closer to me and held me against him.
My heart jumped a little in my chest. I ignored it, along with the nagging urge to tell him I love him. As well as the lack of physical intimacy between us over the past few weeks, The L Word had also slipped through the cracks somewhere along the line... But, some part of me was certain that I still felt it for him all the same.
"I'm not sure I can bear a 15-hour long flight after that." I cocked my head towards the mess of char on the floor. Somehow, Theo had managed to get me to a bathroom.
"What do you suggest we do?" The question was more genuine than I'd been expecting.
"I mean, I could always..." I held up my left wrist to him, indicating my fire emblem.
"You've never teleported with more than one person." Theo responded quickly, yet his tone was saturated with concern, "And besides, I don't want you getting any more hurt."
Fuck this.
In one swift motion, I climbed into Theo's laps and planted my lips firmly on his. Temporarily frozen with shock, it took a second before Theo reciprocated the kiss. His hands ran up my thighs to hold my butt, and he pressed his lips closer to mine.
Fireworks exploded within me – the passion between us hadn't faded away like I was worried it had.
"I love you, Theo Aquila." I murmured against his lips, holding his face close to mine.
"I love you too, Ember Milburn." He murmured back, his hazel-blue eyes staring deep into my soul. "I'm not sure what exactly I did to deserve this, though." He smiled softly at me.
A light blush coloured my cheeks. "You were here for me," I shrugged a shoulder, "That's all I ever want."
He pressed his forehead against mine. "I'm always here for you – you know that, right?"
In response, I kissed his lips again, softer this time. My body close to his all the while.
"Hey guys, I–" Ryder burst into the bathroom, faltering when he saw us with our limbs entangled and me sat in Theo's lap. "Oh, uhm... Sorry."
"I told you not to go in." Thea rolled her eyes behind him and also walked in; "Theo's not exactly quiet with his thoughts about Ember..." She smirked.
Getting to my feet, I tried to ignore how flushed my face now was. Theo had certainly got me hot to say the least...
"I've just had a crazy idea." I announced to the three of them after a glance at the pile of my char.
"Ember, you can't possibly be–" Theo stood up, warning tone apparent.
"We teleport to the UK. I teleport us."
"You can do that?" Thea exclaimed, startled.
"I don't think I could face a 15-hour flight." I repeated my words from after I threw up the char.
"Now what?" Thea looked impatient; her twin brother looked concerned.
"Think about it, Theo, please." Biting my lip with worry, I placed a hand on his forearm. "It makes sense – we could only travel a few hundred miles each time."
"What if it goes wrong?"
I didn't respond, knowing that teleporting wasn't exactly something I'd mastered.
"What happens if you get hurt?" Concern was replaced with compassion in a heartbeat.
Damn, this guy...
"We're running out of time if we want to catch the plane." Thea tutted, irate.
I glanced at her, then at Ryder, then Theo.
"What are we going to do?" Ryder asked, looking to Theo for an answer.
We all looked to Theo for an answer.
"Why are you looking at me for answers?" Theo's eyebrows shot upwards in surprise.
"You know why." Thea stated bluntly, before narrowing her eyes at him – probably sending him a telepathic message of some sort. I hoped it was something along the lines of: get your shit together, we need you right now.
Theo sighed and rubbed his face tiredly, suddenly looking much older. An urge within me rose to wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug and tell him everything is going to be okay.
Is it all going to be okay?
I was torn in two: I instinctively knew that I couldn't fly anywhere, and wouldn't be able to for a few days. But at the same time, I was apprehensive about teleporting hundreds of miles at a time.
"We getting the plane or not?" Ryder snapped again.
"It's up to Ember." Theo spoke, but didn't look at me.
"No." My eyebrows crumpled into a frown, "I'm teleporting us."
"When do you think you'll be ready?" Theo asked, again avoiding looking at me.
I wrapped my arms around my body, "Thea, Ryder...can Theo and I have a moment to talk?"
Thea rolled her eyes but left the bathroom. Ryder hesitated, lingering at the doorway.
"Just go, Ryder." Theo insisted with a harsh edge to his voice.
Ryder left.
Pushing away the doubt in my mind, I stepped to face Theo. His arms were folded tightly across his chest, arm muscles bulging and a muscle clenching and unclenching in his jaw as he stared at the floor.
God, why does he have to be so sexy even when he's upset?
"I'll be okay." I reassured him, sounding more confident than I felt.
"You don't know that." He muttered through gritted teeth.
"Hey, look at me." I stepped a little closer to him.
His hazel-blue eyes flicked up to meet mine, the filmy shimmer of tears threatening across his vision.
Wordlessly, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. It took him a second to reciprocate the embrace, but once he did, I instantly felt better with his arms holding me.
"I'm worried sick about Kaden." He admitted, finally opening up to me and talking about what we'd been somewhat avoiding, "I'm worried about what will happen if we can't help him. I'm worried about what I'm becoming. I'm worried about you insisting you teleport us to the UK."
Part of me had been expecting for him to let loose all of his fears and worries in one go; I was right.
"I can't lose you, Ember." Theo muttered against my hair.
You won't, I wanted to respond, but I didn't want to make a promise that I couldn't be sure I'd be able to keep.
"I can't lose you either." I pulled my face away from the crook of his neck and eyed him, placing a hand on the side of his face.
"What do we do?" He asked, pressing his forehead against mine.
I sucked in a breath – once again, his proximity was making my head spin. Knowing that he wanted a definite answer, I responded with a certainty I didn't know I had within me, "You trust me to teleport us across America little by little. We take things one step at a time...we figure things out. Together."
He nodded slowly, "Together."
"Don't forget." I started, pulling his face close to mine.
"Don't forget what?" Hr frowned, confused.
"I love you." I pressed my lips against his softly.
"I love you too." He murmured against my lips, kissing me back.
His arms tightened around my body and held onto me like he'd never let me go. My fingers twined into his hair, and involuntary moan escaped my mouth as his tongue slid into my mouth.
"I'm so crazy about you, Ember Hestia Milburn." He whispered in between kisses, pulling me closer all the while.
"I wish you could show me how crazy." I blurted out before my brain could process whether or not to actually voice my thoughts.
I never want him to let me go.
Someone burst back into the bathroom, but we didn't jump apart.
"Jesus Christ, what is it with you two and making out in the bathroom when we're going through shit?" Ryder exclaimed, running his hands through his hair exasperatedly.
Theo chuckled, and my heart lifted instantly at the sound of his happiness returning.
"We're really doing this, then?" Thea checked, her eyes darting around to all of us, settling on Theo.
"Yeah, we are." Theo smiled across at me.
"Good," Thea huffed, "'Cos Ryder and I didn't just drag all of our bags here for nothing."
"So, is this the part where we draw a pentagram on the floor, light candles and start chanting?" Ryder joked after the four of us instinctively formed a circle.
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head, "As long as you're all touching me–"
Ryder cut me off: "So it's like an orgy then?"
Theo took that moment to whack him around the back of his head, before huffing to his twin, "Keep your sexual thoughts about Ryder to yourself."
A faint blush tinted Thea's nose and forehead, though she was quick to respond in a scathing tone, "Oh yeah, because you're so quiet with your thoughts about Ember. Oh, and Ember? You have a stunning body, by the way."
My mouth flopped open and closed again; gasping for the air that had escaped my entire body. How I was still standing, I wasn't sure.
"Sometimes, if the thoughts are strong enough," Thea explained, "They can appear as images–"
"That's enough, Thea." Theo snapped, but his quick anger felt targeted at me somehow.
Thea turned to face me and, with a quick wink, let me know that, "He's, like, really sexually frustrated over you."
My eyes met Theo's and this connection changed something in the air between us. Weeks of minimal to no communication – from the emotional, to the physical and to not saying The L Word – had led us to a point of mutual desperation for one another.
"Please can we teleport out of this bathroom before the eye-fucking between you two turns into real fucking?" Ryder scoffed.
I went over and hugged Theo.
"Later, baby." He whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my skin as his hands tightened against the small of my back.
I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in his comforting smell.
"Okay, I'm ready." I stepped back from Theo and announced, "If all of you hold onto my arm, that should work."
"Where are we even going?" Ryder asked.
"Good question." I blinked, realising, "I've never been anywhere else in America."
"Take us to Lake Lanier, Georgia." Theo told me, ignoring my last statement. "Halia was there, and it looks a lot like Lake Oldoy. You should be able to connect with it through me."
"How?" I frowned.
"Theo, no. You can't be considering linking into her thoughts." Ryder burst in; concern etched into his face. "It was dangerous for Jason... If you don't kill her, you could still paralyse her."
"What are you on about?"
"Do you remember when Maia came to the ranch? Do you remember how Jason had to tap into her memories to help her?" Theo asked, jogging my memory. I couldn't read him.
"Yes." I nodded, "But I thought you had to be an Alpha to do that."
"Exactly." Ryder rushed in, "There's no way you'd be able to do it."
Ignoring Ryder, Theo stepped close to me and took my left wrist in his hand. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Hold on, it's gonna be okay." Was the last thing he said to me before he dug his claws into the fire emblem on my wrist.
Instantaneously, shock and heat flooded through my body and my eyes snapped open to see a wide lake forming in front of me.
It spread out in front of me, the water stretching miles for miles, and small islands rose from the depths of the lake. Trees sprung from the islands and grew upwards quickly.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and tried to picture myself there, standing on the pebbled shore; which was over 2,000 miles away from where I was.
That's a long fucking way away.
"Are you ready?" Theo spoke in my ear, bringing me back to the bathroom in the Missoula International Airport in Montana.
I nodded, "Yeah, I am."
After we all slung our bags onto shoulders, Thea held onto my forearm, Ryder placed his hand on my shoulder, and Theo looped his arm around my waist.
"This better work." Ryder muttered; his tone concerned.
"It will." Theo's confidence in me seemed to give my own confidence a boost.
I pressed down on the fire emblem on my left wrist and let the image of Lake Lanier, Georgia, consume my mind and my entirety.
Then I let the four of us be consumed by my flames.