"We can't?" I repeat him.
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "Trust me, I want to."
I bite my lip. So this boy really played me all this time just to reject me? "So what is it then? Is it Ben?"
"It's because I took the job at your school."
"You what? What job?"
"Coaching the hockey team."
"Wh- Why would you do that?"
"I don't know, I thought it would be a good idea at the time..." he says quietly.
"Ugh," I groan, "Then why... why would you take me out here?"
"I thought I could control myself," he looks down, gazing over my features, over my see through top. "I was going to tell you later."
"Later, so it 'doesn't ruin the fun'?" I scrunch my face. "You're such an asshole."
He just totally used me and lead me on. What the absolute fuck.
"When did you decide to take the job?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.
"On Monday they called me--"
"So for a week - you knew all this time... and you just played me."
"No, I didn't. I didn't 'play' you."
I think back to the food fight, where he put icing all over me seductively. Want me to lick it off? But how can I be surprised? I have no one to blame but myself. Ben warned me that he's bad news, but I still trusted him and believed there was some kind of geniunity.
"Just take me home," I snap. It must have been all in my head. He just thought I was hot and got caught up in the moment. He never had actual feelings for me. He never said he did anyways, so it's my own fault for interpreting his actions in that way.
And what would he see in me anyways? He could have any girl he wants.
Callum moves to the front seat, starting the buggy and driving us back to the front carpark. We don't speak at all, even when I order an uber instead of going home with him. The rain has settled down so he should get home safe.
I don't look back. And I don't say goodbye.
.
.
.
When I wake up on Friday morning, I take a long look at myself in the mirror. Dark circles under my eye stick out like a sore thumb.
I think about how stupid I must have looked yesterday. How Callum knew not to kiss me but did it anyway. Just to mess with me even though we can't... We can't what exactly? He's technically a teacher, so we can't hook up? Or date? What exactly does him teaching stop us from doing? What did he think would have happened if he didn't take the job?
I groan loudly, tossing in my bed, turning to face my desk.
I notice a sheet of paper sticking out of my bag. I grab it, realising it's drenched with water and soggy. How long has it been in my bag?
The writing on it is blurry, so much that I can barely make out the letters. 'Look for... in the... library... news reports...' Look for evidence in the library? Evidence... about Tim?
I jump out of bed, throwing the same uniform I wore yesterday, pulling my hair into the messiest bun imaginable (and not the tumblr kind) and jolting out of the room.
I'm late to homegroup. Perry is still being quiet, so I don't tell her about the letter. She talks to Xander instead of me, so I talk to Acacia.
My first period is maths, so I fantasise about walking into traffic. I don't concentrate the whole class, twirling my pen in my fingers so aggressively I look like I'm having withdrawals.
My second period is History. Mr Speidy starts explaining medieval weaponry, and how fencing practice worked. Despite Mr Speidy's tantalisingly bold voice, I still get distracted. The only thing I can think about is running to the library, as soon as that bell rings.
And when it does; I do. I grab my books so fast – partly because I hadn't even unloaded them – and run as fast as my little legs can carry me.
I've only been to the library on one occasion: I was looking for Perry and knew she'd be studying. So finding it took longer than I thought. It's on the other side of campus, behind the main hall, nowhere near the cafeteria.
The library's interior is almost entirely wooden. Bookshelves line every wall, and separate tables, forming little booths. The ceiling is high and triangular, the kind where the roof is hollow and you can see the wooden beams forming its structure.
I walk up the wooden staircase to the second floor, looking down briefly beyond the balcony to the tables floating below. I'll need a computer to search for where the news reports are stored. I go to the first computer I can find, logging in with my student details.
But what do I search? Tim Martinez? October Academy murder mystery? My brain isn't big enough for these tasks. How about Mt October murders? Or Mt October maybe murder maybe accident... maybe suicide?
I type in 'news-articles-Mt-October-mysterious-death'. Fourteen news reports show up. Two from the 1600's, six from Mt October in Switzerland, leaving six potential articles. The library catalogue shows that they should be in the news report isle, in section E.
I print the search results, then follow the catalogues directions, but am not entirely sure that I'm following them correctly. The library is dimly lit. I'm pretty sure it's one of the oldest buildings on campus.
I walk over to E, which happens to be on the tallest shelf. I stand on my tip toes, leaning against the bookshelf to steady myself, and reaching up with my arm outstretched. The folder I'm looking at is only a fraction of an inch out of my grasp. "Ugh," I mumble, biting my lip.
A figure from behind me reaches out, grabbing the folder effortlessly from above me, effectively barricading me to the bookshelf.
I turn around to see my saviour, but for some reason I already know who it is.