It's the morning of my birthday. I woke up to a cupcake smashed into my forehead.. Juniper and leon thought they were real slick with that one till I beat them up and kicked them out of my room so I could wash up.
I took a nice bath and changed into one of my old dresses. The lavender one I love so much. It finally fits right now. Before I left alfin, it was baggy and even in clarines but now that I'm healthy, it finally fits.
After my bath, I made breakfast for everyone. Just eggs, toast and pancakes. We ate for a while, laughing and talking. Juniper played with my hair for a while. She made it pretty and used my hair stick to finish it. She did this pretty fishtail braid. It almost reminded me of my old hairstyle. She grabbed a bunch of flowers from outside and put a ton of them in the braid as well then she did her own hair too. Leon even sat still long enough to get a flower in his hair as well. Near here was clarines' castle town. It's a risk to go there but we decided to take it anyway, just to see how things were. I haven't been there for nearly 2 years anyway so I doubt they'd notice me. I wore the cloak shirayuki gave me anyway and even left my swords behind. I kept my hood down though ponly because Juniper wished people could see her beautiful work.
"Will you ride a little faster? Come on leon!" Juniper giggled as we road ahead.
"You two are messing up your hair, I'd ride slower if I were you!" Leon shouted to us.
"Dont you know messy hair is in right now?" I shouted back while giggling. This is the most fun I've had for quite some time now.
We road into town like normal kids would. I guess we are adults now though, im 20 after all and they're even older.. But we had fun and paid no attention to ourselves. We spent a while just walking around and having fun.
"Whoa! No way! Is there a festival tonight?" I asked the woman at a clothing stand and was totally excited.
"You haven't heard? It's princess Y/n Moons birthday is today! The town is holding a party in hopes of having her return home someday to celebrate with us. Shes been apart of clairnes for some time now, we've missed her since she announced her title. She hasn't been back since the attack on tanburan either.." the woman explained to me as my face slowly fell. A party in my honor.. how do they even know when my birthday is?..
"Really?.. but she almost had prince zen killed, didn't she?.. he ran away to get her, right?.." I asked and was trying to just be curious.
"Prince zen loved her and so did all of we, no one was angry. She left him after the attack though, no one knows why.." She sighed as I lowered my head.
"It mustve been to protect him, she loved him too, don't forget" Juniper stepped in with a smile.
"I wouldn't doubt that. Even so, we all wish she would came back" the woman smiled as I took a step back and turned away.
"Thank you for letting us know about the celebration, we'll be leaving now" Leon smiled to the woman as I sighed.
"N/n, they're celebrating in your honor. Maybe we were supposed to come here afterall" Juniper put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.
"They want their princess back too it seems" Leon stood on my other side with a smile.
"Its too bad she won't be here tonight for it.." I answered quietly while we walked.
"Why couldn't she celebrate her own birthday with people who love her? No one would know she's even here" Juniper hummed happily to cheer me up.
"No.. Why don't you two go for me? I'd like some of the food they sell tonight. I'd rather sit down in a tree somewhere and watch anyway" I smiled to the both of them.
"And leave you?" Juniper raised an eyebrow.
"Well, they do sell some good foods.." Leon hummed in thought while I giggled.
"Go to town for me and celebrate for a little bit. I'll be dancing in the tress somewhere" I giggled to them.
"Only if you drink with us when we come back" Juniper grinned.
"Fine, deal" I laughed.
From there, we walked around and shopped. I finally found a present for my brothers engagement here as well. Thank goodness I did because I didn't have one before. We had a really good lunch and participated in some dancing at the square in the middle of the town! There were children everywhere! Gosh, I even got to read them a fairytale! They were reading all together for a while and I got to join in! This was the best birthday I have ever had. Then later we danced to traditional songs with so many different strangers. It was so fast passed I had to sit down for a while! Then we even found a play at dinner time! It was something incredibly beautiful. It reminded me of the festival zen and I went to a long time ago. I missed that..
The sun began to fall. It was now I'd have to take my leave. "Be good and bring back some yummy stuff" I told my friends.
"Yes, mother" Leon chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"You better not get in trouble either, young lady!" Juniper shouted before hugging me tight, "be safe and don't try to find trouble even if it's temping" she warned me.
"I won't. I'll be leaving now though" I smiled as we let each other go and went our separate ways. On my way to the edge of the forest, I found someone selling lanterns. I had to buy one along with a marker.
I walked for a while to the tress. I went on a tall hill and watched over everyone. There were so many lights and so many people dancing and having fun. There's so many couples falling further in love, it made me happy this was all in my honor. I bet zen would go if he could..
As I watched, I found people of all ages come in. I even found some of my own family.. I found dad and chief garak. I watched them find a spot at the shore line for about and entire hour. The sun had finally set.. Dad got down on one knee, I watched him propose to chief.
"Dad.." I whispered with tears in my eyes. He found love again.. not long after, shirayuki and obi and their baby even met up with them. "I miss you guys.." I muttered with a smile on my face. They got lost in the crowd soon after. I kept watching for a while before I got a little bored. I climbed down my tree and decided to find a clearing to release my lantern. While I walked, I thought very hard about the perfect words to write. Something about zen, but how should I write it? I remembered what I wrote on my first lantern. Together forever. It was something close to that, wasn't it?
I guess that dream didn't come true, did it?..
I'll keep dreaming anyway.
To see you before forgetting 'us'.
With love,
I want to see zen, not even to talk to, just to see his smiling face one last time before I forgot about ever being with him. To forget our relationship.. Thats my final dream. To move on.
I lit the inside of the lantern and slowly watched it blow up with a little smile. "Im sure ill see you at my brother's coronation, at least this dream will come true.." I spoke softly as I gently raised the lantern into the night sky. Mine was was first to go up there. Everyone's would wait for a long while to leave the ground.
I watched it fly far away without going in any specific direction. When it was out of sight, I went back to that tree from before. I watched for hours and hours quietly humming songs to myself and kicking my legs. Finally, I got to watch millions of lanterns go up in the sky. Even some from the castle as well.. I wonder if zen had one tonight.. I wonder if he knows it's my birthday, I doubt it though.. I wonder if he knows that I still love him..
I found Juniper and leon later in the night. They were carrying more than they could handle and seemd to of had an amazing night out together. We went back to the house and snacked and drank. They pushed a lot of alcohol on me which I gladly drank. It made me forget for the night. I turned into a little girl again and was a giggling mess. They helped me in bed at the end of the night thankfully. When I woke up, it was time for us to get on the move again. We'd travel to a new town in tanburan right on the water. I was just curious to see how things were going. Everyone was happy and having a good time. It was normal just as I hoped. While I was here, I bought wine for my soldiers. They deserve a break afterall. Doing this reminded me of zen which made me happy too. I've began to turn my sadness into happiness starting last night. In order to move on, I'll have to accept and be happy with my past so I'm trying.
We traveled to one more town just for fun. They were normal too but with a lot more families. After that day we had to head back to the castle though.
In barely a week raji will have his wedding. I guess we were kinda gone for.. like.. 3 weeks.. But we won't talk about that. Although I did get into a bit of trouble with father..
Rajis wife is someone I've never met before but she's a good woman. She means well and she's experienced in helping out with the kingdom I guess. Raji seems to really like her too. It helps that she's a little bossy with him sometimes. It makes me like her more.
That week was a rather busy one..