mike's POV
"close your eyes and focus."
that's all i do recently, focus.
"it's hard to focus when all you're doing is staring at me." i raise an eyebrow toward max, who has been pestering me for the past 20 minutes about trying harder like maybe i'm not doing the best i can.
she doesn't understand, i think, how hard i am trying. i know she has good intentions, but all this is doing is making me sad.
"closed, mike." el mumbles, grabbing hold of my hand.
i sigh but do as i'm told.
i wait and i wait, trying hard to focus.
several minutes pass before i know something is happening because it's bright wherever i am now. it's totally and completely white, all around me. it's like i've been swallowed up by a piece of printer paper.
"do you see him, mike?" el asks, her voice as light as a feather.
i shake my head, looking around, focusing hard.
"no, there's nothing here. i'm alone." i admit, feeling guilty for some reason like it's my fault that i can't see him.
"focus, mike, he's here. i can feel him."
he's not there. i think i would know.
"no el, he's not-"
but, then, i see him.
he looks the way he always does, beautiful, weak, scared, ethereal, alone.
"will?" i smile as he looks at me.
his eyes are red like he's been crying, his lips are blue, and his skin is pale.
"mike?" his voice is barely a whisper.
i walk to him, scared that if i get too close he might go away.
"will, i talked to them again today. they asked me about that night." i admit, looking toward the ground.
he steps toward me and places a hand on my cheek. i place my hand on top of his, hoping that maybe this time i'll be able to feel it.
i still can't, and i know i won't ever be able to here, in this place that i'm not even sure isn't my imagination trying to help me cope with the grief of losing someone I never thought I would have to live without again, this place that is somehow in between reality and imagination.
will picks up on my disappointment and seems to read my mind.
"mike? it's okay. i'm here and i'm glad we can spend these moments together. what did you tell the detectives?" will questions, moving his hand from my cheek to my waist, keeping it there, using his thumb to rub comforting circles onto my side.
i wonder if will can feel me. if since he's not here in this reality, maybe he lives in the reality i'm visiting now.
"i told them about us. he blamed your disappearance on me, he basically said that you ran away from me." i scoff and wait for will's reaction.
he stays quiet for a moment.
"will?"
"you know that's not true, right? it wasn't you." he says quietly, lacing our fingers together.
the conversation makes me sad so i try focusing on something else.
i try to imagine how his fingers would feel in between mine. suddenly i have to ask him,
"will, can you feel me?"
he looks into my eyes and smiles.
"yes. i can feel everything. every touch, every time you hurt, every time you think about me, i feel everything."
"really?"
"i don't know what it is about this place, but yes. i wish you could feel me, too." he leans forward and kisses my nose.
i sigh, wishing more than anything that i could feel it.
"how much longer do we have?" i ask, wrapping my arms around him, never wanting to let him go, never wanting to leave this little piece of time we have.
"not much longer. i don't know-i don't think i can keep this for much longer." he offers a sad smile.
"wait, when will i see you again?"
will sighs at the thought of leaving me, of being alone here again, but smiles at me, "same time, same place next month?"
i smile in return, "okay."
"okay." he echos, giving me a sweet and chaste kiss.
i open my eyes and take a deep breath.
"he was there?" el asks, eyes wide, awaiting an answer.
i smile and nod.
"he's getting better right? this is the third time he's been able to connect." max interjects, a hint of hope in her voice.
"he's stronger now. i feel it when he's here, his power." el explains, looking between max and i.
since we figured out will had disappeared, we've been working on a way to communicate with him. this way, this power exchange between el and will (which was a total long shot by the way), has been the best way so far. i don't really understand how it works, el won't go into detail about it, but basically, as long as will can receive the connection el sends, he and i can meet in this weird dream place. she explained to me that this is how she was able to communicate with the others in that government facility. but, since it takes a lot of energy from both of them, we've only been able to get a reliable connection if we do the meetings a month apart.
"does he know where he is?" max asks.
i shake my head, "i didn't ask, but i think he would've mentioned it if he had figured it out."
el nods in agreement, "right, i think so, too."
silence engulfs the room, this nagging feel of 'what now?' hangs over me. this is how it always is after will and i say goodbye, even before he disappeared. after being with him for any period of time and in any capacity, his absence becomes entirely too influential. it feels like i'm lost, like i just can't think for myself.
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"there are 300 billion stars in our milky way alone, it's impossible to know how many there are for sure, but 300 billion is a number most astronomers can agree on." mr. newman explains, waving his arms around in the air trying to get us excited to learn.
it doesn't work.
in fact, all i can think about is how many stars sit above will's head at night, wherever he is.
i miss him a lot. i can't wait for our meeting next month, it's the only time i really feel alive, when i feel complete.
"mr. wheeler? a moment of your time?" i am brought back to reality by a tall and stout man, standing in the doorway of the science room with a stern look on his face and a seriousness in his voice.
i stand, wordlessly, moving seemingly on autopilot toward him.
all eyes are on me, i can feel them, but i really don't pay much attention to them because that's just kind of how i've been lately, kind of numb.
the man takes me into the hall and begins to introduce himself.
"mr. michael wheeler, pleasure to meet you. my name is detective stork and i have a few questions about your friend."
"you mean will?"
it's a stupid question and i know it. of course he means will.
"yes, mr. byers. how would you describe your relationship to him?" the detective leans against the lockers and looks at me with a look of curiosity.
"boyfriend, he was-is my boyfriend." my heart races.
"right, boyfriend. he didn't tell you where he was going?"
the detective does a good job of hiding his judgment, he keeps his voice calm and smooth as it had been before.
"no, he didn't."
"what was the last thing he said to you?"
it was an okay and a kiss, but i realize the detective meant the night he disappeared and not the last time i saw him, which was last night.
i think and i try to think hard, but i can't remember.
you would think i would remember that, something as important as the last thing he said to me, the last time i saw him in person.
"i don't remember."
"the night before will disappeared, was he acting strangely? sick or otherwise odd?" detective stork questions.
"no, why do you ask? do they think he's sick?" i begin to panic.
"mike, come with me. i would like to talk to one jane hopper."
he ushers me down the hall to el's class and i follow closely.
i wait behind the door while he calls el out of class.
"what's going- mike?" el questions upon seeing me, her eyes growing wide.
"miss hopper, my name is detective stork. i have a few questions about your friend, will." he begins walking us toward the cafeteria. el stays quiet until we get there.
the detective chooses a table close to the exit and invites us to sit. el and i exchange confused glances.
"jane, could you describe the last encounter you had with will byers before his disappearance?"
"the last time i saw will was in the morning. after joyce picked me up, we went back to the byers' house and will and i went on a bike ride. we rode our bikes to the quarry and he asked me to go back to get our jackets. when i came back, he was gone."
"what?!" el had never told me that before. i always assumed he had disappeared after he left my house. el was the last one to see him.
"mike, I'm sorry, i should've told you."
"you should've told me? yes, el, you should have." i yell at her. i just cannot believe she would keep this from us, there has to be a reason she didn't tell me before, why she would wait until now.
"it seems like you didn't know that, mike." the detective interjects and writes quickly in his notebook.
"no, i didn't."
"jane, why did you keep this a secret? what else do you know?" detective stork asks, pen ready to jot down whatever it is jane says.
"nothing. i just didn't know it was so important."
"arguably, knowing exactly where will disappeared from is our best shot to find where he is now."
"it won't help you find him. he's different." el admits, avoiding eye contact with the two of us.
"different how?" the detective leans in to listen carefully.
i nudge her and give her a face, is she really about to tell the detective about them? about the upside down?
"just that-"
"-that we're gay. she means because will and i are together." i interrupt, not wanting to hear what was actually going to come out of her mouth.
the detective shakes his head, "i don't understand what that has to do with this."
el stays quiet, still avoiding eye contact with the two of us.
"respectfully detective, this has everything to do with it. will and i," i try to think of something i can say without incriminating myself, "well, we're kind of different sometimes. we had this hideout in the woods called castle byers. maybe you should try there."
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Hey guys!
This chapter has taken me MONTHS to finish. Every time I started writing again, I just couldn't think of anything. I'm almost done with my first semester of college and I swear time flies! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it's kind of all over the place but I felt like it was time to start moving this plot along.
Here's a sneak peek of the next chapter:
ii.iii. ()
el's POV [September 19, 11:19 AM]
he took me there after we left the quarry. the leaves were beginning to turn their firey red and will and i were wrapped in our too-big jackets making crunchy sounds with our feet.
"what did you tell him?" will asked me as we walked through the woods to castle byers. he looked tired and maybe a little nervous.
"i didn't tell him much. i just told him i had to leave when your mom got there. he asked me what we talked about before you left and i said you would tell him next time you saw him."
he nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"will, are you happy?"
"what do you mean?"
"about mike, i mean. max and i may have...pushed a little."
he bit his lip to hold back a smile and pushed me playfully.
"shut up, i knew it."
"oh, did you?" i teased and we laughed.
"is it a little weird that we have both kissed him?" will asked as we entered castle byers.
"i don't think so. will, i want you to know, i knew mike was way into you when he and i were together. he used to talk about you all the time, to the point where i asked him if he was sure he didn't have feelings for you."
we sat on the little mattress and will picked up the frames of the pictures of him and mike.
"and one day he told you he did?"
"yeah, one day he did. he made it all dramatic, too. it was pretty funny." i giggled at the memory.
i looked at will for a moment, who was still looking at the picture of him and mike. i smiled and realized this was maybe the first time i had ever seen him truly happy.
"el, how do i fight this? i want to, for mike." he looked up quickly from the pictures like he had just come to a conclusion.
"i'm not sure. you could try running." i gave the suggestion and almost immediately regretted it.
i watched as he considered it.
"will," i began.
"el, i have to outrun it. i can't let it get me again. maybe if it can't find me-"
"no, will. you need to be here, with me and mike and max and dustin and lucas. we can do it again, i promise."
"i can't do it to mike again. he can't see me like that again." will looked outside like he was thinking hard about it.
and that was that, i guess. when will decided he had to leave.
what neither of us considered was that it would find him before we did.