The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

By reject_20

594K 16.6K 10.5K

The five Marauders have a group chat. This should be fun, right? More

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14 years later

132

1.7K 62 36
By reject_20

🖕🏼the pack🖕🏼

lion bitch🦁❤️
OH MY GOD
JADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHAT
IM COOKING

lion bitch🦁❤️
THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT
wait
what are you cooking?

reg's favorite dish
chicken roulade stuffed with brussel sprouts, walnuts and pecorino
because he's boujee like that
and the other two are making dessert

best black👯‍♀️
let me guess
raspberry crème fraîche tart with lavander honey?

baby black🥺🖤
yep

blondie👯‍♀️
sounds french

puppy🐕🖤
it is
both of them
reg's favorite dish and dessert
i'm teaching vix how to make it

and i'm paying zero attention because i'm too busy making sure i don't burn the chicken and making sure these guys don't burn down the house

lion bitch🦁❤️
when did you learn how to cook?

when i noticed i can't live off pizza and ramen noodles the rest of my life

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
but ramen is life
my god
you two got married and suddenly i'm in a hallmark movie

baby black🥺🖤
jade just pulled a butcher knife and pointed it at siri's quaffles
that sound hallmark to you?

angel🥺❤️
it's the marauder version

lion bitch🦁❤️
it really is
NOW
TURN OFF THE STOVE AND READ THIS
THIS IS IMPORTANT

sister❤️
i know what he's gonna say
SOOOOOO MANY JOKES RN

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
channeling my inner chandler rn
bring it on

lion bitch🦁❤️
okay okay
so you know the avengers right?

yes

lion bitch🦁❤️
you remember age of ultron right?

anka🌹
well considering that she watched it with me, siri and reg last night
then i'd say yes

lion bitch🦁❤️
DUDE
PIETRO AND WANDA
WHY COULDNT  WE BE BORN 12 MINUTES APART
YOURE WEIRD
SO IS WANDA
PIETRO IS FAST
I HAVE FUCKING LIQUID LUCK RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS 24/7
WE COULD BE THE MAXIMOFF TWINS
OH MY GOD
IM CALLING MUM

puppy🐕🖤
oh god
SO MANY JOKES RN

my moony🌙❤️
i'm legit biting my tongue rn

wait wait
pietro
he's fast
meaning you
so if you're fast
does that mean you finish fast as well?

playboy🙄🐍

lily
please tell us if it's true or not

sister❤️
huh?
WAIT
WHY ME

best black👯‍♀️
BECAUSE REASONS
YOU SLEEP WITH HIM
THEREFORE
YOU SHOULD KNOW

wormy🐭✨
i just did a fucking spit take
i love this

blondie👯‍♀️
pietro dies so
i don't think prongs wants to be pietro anymore...

lion bitch🦁❤️
AND IVE BEEN OFFENDED AS A LADY

STOP QUOTING JOHN MULANEY

lion bitch🦁❤️
HOW DID YOU KNOW

puppy🐕🖤
she has an obsession
and you two quote him on a daily basis

I SAID STOP IT
STOP IT RIGHT NOW

baby black🥺🖤
see?
jade speaks fluent john mulaney and friends
and sometimes chanel from scream queens
it's terrifying sometimes

playboy🙄🐍
she once called me high as space just to tell me
"could i BE any more high!?"
and when i tried to talk
"it's all a moo point."

it's like a cow's opinion

wormy🐭✨
it doesn't matter
it's moo

lion bitch🦁❤️
okay but returning to pietro
didi
wanna be the wanda to my pietro? 🥺

i already kinda am, dumbass
i'm ten minutes younger
i just don't wear red

puppy🐕🖤
you should start wearing red more often👀

yeah
no
black is better
goes with my new last name

anka🌹
i just got that
like i just legit understood it
god i'm a dumbass💀

blondie👯‍♀️
WAIT
I ALSO JUST GOT THAT
ANKA
LETS BE DUMBASSES TOGETHER

anka🌹
YASSSSSS

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
LILY
IM STILL NOT SEEING ANY ANSWERS

sister❤️
fine!
hey corvus

angel🥺❤️
yes speckles?

sister❤️
how long does frank last in bed??
since we're all curious

blondie👯‍♀️

thank god i'm a lesbian
i don't have these problems😌

anka🌹
frank
you've gone real quiet real quick
sucks to be you guys ig

my moony🌙❤️
he's probably screeching
but then again
prongs is the one who screeches

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
fine
lily
you win

sister❤️
i always do😌

wormy🐭✨
i just love the fact that nobody is asking the danger twins

best black👯‍♀️
jade is married to sirius
MY TWIN BROTHER
believe me
i dont wanna know

and i'm not gonna answer that question

puppy🐕🖤
WHY NOT!?

STOP GLARING AT ME AND WATCH THE OVEN

playboy🙄🐍
forgot they were cooking for a sec
it's a miracle that the house hasn't burned down yet

that's because i took over and these two assholes are sitting on the island just staring at me

baby black🥺🖤
don't expose me like that jade

puppy🐕🖤
she's cursing the wind rn

baby black🥺🖤

she just forced siri to help her
and i'm here laughing my ass off

playboy🙄🐍
why is he holding the knife like that?

sister❤️
it's his feminine side

puppy🐕🖤

lion bitch🦁❤️
HES QUOTING JOHN MULANEY TOO


anka🌹
so this gc just turned into john mulaney?

playboy🙄🐍
i think it has
i don't even mind

my moony🌙❤️
nobody does

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