Solomon: "I am a servant that stands above all others! I am Grand Caster: SOLOMON!!"
The others were all clearly unnerved until Y/n audibly scoffed in the caster's direction.
Y/n: "Yeah, nice try, Ars Goetia."
As soon as the name was dropped, Solomon's eyes widened in anger. The others looked to Y/n in surprise as he stood with his arms crossed.
Ophelia: "Y- Y/n!?"
Gudako: "Y/n, what d'you mean Ars Goetia?"
Jack: "Papa?"
Raikou: "Master..."
Y/n: "Wanna know how I figured it out?"
Solomon: "Tch, enlighten me."
Y/n: "Because Solomon didn't command demons. He recorded them into his grimoire, the Ars Goetia. Considering that and the fact that he was said to be a peaceful man despite being the king of mages. It only makes sense that you're a manifestation of the Ars Goetia."
Goetia was silent as Y/n smirked at him.
Y/n: "Besides, I know where the real Solomon is."
Everyone's eyes widened as he spoke. Y/n's confident smirk told them that he was telling the truth.
Goetia: "... I see, so you have some knowledge of Solomon after all."
Y/n: "Yup. So why don't you just give up and fuck off back to the bookshelf you fell off of?"
Goetia glared at Y/n before a demon god pillar burst out of the ground below Y/n's feet. The magician was taken by surprise as he was slammed against the ceiling. He grit his teeth before stepping into the void. He re-emerged next to the others completely unharmed.
Goetia: "Tch. I see, you're more clever than I gave you credit for, boy."
Y/n: "I'll have you know my collective IQ tops out at yes!"
Goetia merely glared at the magician before more demon god pillars emerged from around him. They all targeted the group before a massive blast of energy was fired at them.
Mash jumped in front of the group before firmly planting her shield in the ground.
Mash: "LORD CHALDEAS!!"
The blast made contact with the barrier, it held, but was quickly cracking around the edges.
Raikou and Kintoki both nodded to each other before splitting off and going around to flank either side of the king of mages.
He managed to intercept them both as he sent both berserkers flying into the walls. Y/n's fist tightened when he saw one of the demon god pillars looming over Raikou.
Y/n's anger peaked and he rushed over and ended up getting impaled through the chest for Raikou. The berserker looked up in horror as her master's blood dripped onto her face.
Her shock was alleviated very quickly however as Y/n laughed. Goetia himself backed up in surprise as he saw that Y/n was using his own body as an anchor to pin one of the demon god pillars to the ground and prevent it from attacking.
He laughed as he had a hold of the demon god pillar that was now stuck impaled through his chest.
Y/n: "Suck it, bitch! NI QAMU KALU!!"
A giant arrow of flame formed under the demon god and shot itself into it's body. Y/n smirked victoriously as the demon's body disintegrated. He then tore out the piece of it that was stuck in his chest. The gaping wound that was left behind regenerated at an insane rate until nought but a bruise remained.
Y/n: "Well? What now, fuckaroni?"
Goetia: "Y- You... What the hell!?"
Y/n: "If you're wonderin' what I am, then listen real close, asshole. I'm the successor of Abzu, so you better get ready for when we clear up all these singularities. Cuz the Cosby'ing you're finna receive is gonna be brutal."
Goetia was still in a state of shock before he vanished in a flash of light. The others then ran over to him as he collapsed to his knees.
Mordred immediately flung herself onto him as he fought for breath while the others were still processing what had just happened.
Inanna: "Huh, Abzu's immortality passed on to you."
Ophelia: "Immortality?"
Inanna: "Yeah, Abzu was a primordial god. I can't sense him separately from Y/n anymore so I can only assume that Y/n's officially succeeded him."
Gudao: "So he's a fuckin' god now!?"
Astolfo: "That's what she's saying, yeah."
Inanna nodded as Sakura gently shook Y/n's shoulder. The others looked over and saw that Y/n's eyes had turned empty.
Lalter: "What happened? He was fine just a minute ago!"
???: "He's fine. Just on cooldown I think would be the best way to explain it."
Everyone looked over as a familiar face walked over.
Gudako: "Doctor!?"
Mash: "R- Romani?"
Dr. Roman walked over before placing a finger on Y/n's wrist. He sighed in relief when he felt a pulse.
Roman: "Good. He's still okay. As I said, he's gone into a forced shutdown to preserve energy."
Gudao: "Doctor, the hell are you doing here?"
Roman sighed before taking his gloves off, revealing a single golden ring on his finger.
Ophelia's eyes widened as she realised what that meant.
Ophelia: "Y- You're-"
Roman: "Yeah. I'm not really called Romani Archaman. My real name is Solomon."
Inanna: "You made yourself human with the grail."
Roman: "Yeah. That's right. I'll explain more back at Chaldea. For now though, we have to get this one back safe."
Raikou helped Roman to pick her master up and the whole group was rayshifted back to Chaldea. Jekyll and Andersen formed contracts with Gudao while Babbage and Shakespeare formed contracts with Gudako. Kintoki formed a contract with Ophelia and Lalter remained as Sakura's servant, though Fran also formed a contract with her.
When everyone was ready, Roman stood in front of them in the cafeteria with the other servants.
Roman: "Well, I suppose I don't need the disguise anymore, I did like having this form though..."
Everyone was surprised as his ginger hair turned white and grew down to his feet. His skin turned from the usual pale colour to a caramel tan.
Solomon: "... As I'm sure you've figured out by now. I am Solomon. Grand Caster servant."
Femerlin: "BULLSHIT!!"
Solomon: "My apologies, Merlin. But officially, I hold the title."
Ophelia: "So, you've been acting as a human this whole time?"
Solomon: "I wouldn't say I've been acting as one. I was actually human. However after a certain someone decided to summon herself, I threw off the veil and returned to my servant form. However I have more than enough mana to keep me going."
Da Vinci: "He's been nomming on mana prisms every day since he returned to servant form."
Solomon: "H- HAVE NOT!"
Da Vinci: "Have too."
Solomon: "you have no proof!"
Da Vinci's smirk was all that Solomon needed to know that she had come prepared.
She held up a datapad with CCTV footage of him in his servant form nomming away at mana prisms.
Da Vinci: "... What was that about no proof?"
Solomon: "... Clever girl."
Ophelia: "So what about Goetia? We can't just let him get away, right?"
Solomon: "Of course not. Which is why we'll clean up the last singularities then take the fight directly to him. I may not be in fighting condition right now, however I will not hesitate when the moment arrives. When we face Goetia. I'll use my noble phantasm and wipe him out."
Makeda was clearly shocked by this, however she could tell that Solomon wanted the effect of his noble phantasm to remain a secret.
Solomon: "Until that time however, please feel free to keep calling me Romani."
There was a general lighthearted mood in Chaldea as Solomon revelled in some drinks in celebration of a fourth singularity cleared.
Meanwhile, on the calm shores of Y/n's mindscape, a woman gazed out over the horizon as the setting sun cast a warm golden glow across the expanse of the mindscape. She took a deep breath in as the air grew cold around her.
???: "Aye, this place'll do."
Ahura Mazda walked over, ready to fight if need be, but he kept his calm demeanour as he approached.
Ahura Mazda: "Ah, I see we have a new guest. And just as Abzu fused with Y/n as well. The timing is rather well planned, is it not?"
???: "I suppose ye could say that, aye."
Ahura Mazda: "Judging by the scottish accent, you're Celtic, aren't you?"
???: "Somebody's done his readin'. But aye, I am the goddess of winter. Ye can call me Cailleach."
Ahura Mazda: "Ah, the trickster of Celtic myth. Yes, I've heard of you. Though I thought you were supposed to appear as an old woman?"
Cailleach: "You said it yerself. I'm the Celtic trickster."
Y/n soon sat up on the sands, having come out of his shut down state.
Y/n: "Did anybody get the licence plate of that truck?"
Cailleach: "That's what happens when ye fuck wae a god's powers."
Y/n: "Jesus fuck, you are belligerently Scottish."
Cailleach: "The benefits of bein' a Celtic goddess, I suppose. Name's Cailleach b the way."
Y/n: "Y/n. I see you've already met Ahura Mazda."
Cailleach: "Aye. I can sense another person around here. But I'll get tae meetin' her when I can be arsed. For now, I should warn ye. Ye've drawn the attention of some big names in mythology. Don't be surprised if ye end up wae a harem of goddesses by the year's end."
Y/n: "I'm already basically on my way there."
Cailleach: "Huh. Oh well, get used tae hearin' me around the place. Ye may want tae wake up soon too. Yer wee knight's gettin' worried."
Y/n laughed before closing his eyes and re-opening them in his room in Chaldea. Looking to his left he saw Sakura, on his right was Mordred. He smiled before slowly sitting up. He quietly made his way to the cafeteria.
When he got there, he started looking around in the kitchen for anything to eat. As he rummaged, he felt someone tap his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Emiya standing with a plate of sandwiches.
Emiya: "I thought you might get up around about now."
Y/n smirked before accepting the food.
Emiya: "You've been out for a week and a half. Whatever the hell you did in there really got you fucked up, huh?"
Y/n: "Yeah, well. That's just par for the course with me."
Emiya chuckled as he headed to his room.
Y/n was thus left to his thoughts as he ate the sandwiches, he was satisfied having beat the shit out of Zouken. But he knew that Sakura's suffering was a necessary evil in order to bring them to where they were today.
He decided to head to the summoning room since he knew for a fact that the others would have done the same. He had a look at Chaldea's servant roster and laughed at some of the new arrivals. Ophelia had managed to bring Chen Gong into the fold as well as Watanabe no Tsuna. Gudao had summoned an assassin called Osakabehime and Gudako managed to bring home another assassin. This one was called Shuten Doji.
Y/n noticed that Sakura hadn't done any summoning, but he turned to the circle and held his hand out before making his summon. The circle flashed golden and shone brilliantly before a man stepped out of the light.
???: "Greetings, master. I am Percival of the round table. Lancer servant."
Y/n: "Percival, huh? This'll be interesting."
Percival: "Master? Forgive me for assuming, but you seem malnourished."
Y/n: "I had some sandwiches earlier, I'll be fine."
Percival: "For how malnourished you appear to be, I think sandwiches will not be nearly enough to sustain you. I shall go and prepare something immediately!"
With that Percival stormed out of the summoning room... only to come back a few seconds later.
Percival: "Might I ask where the kitchen is?"
Y/n: "Follow the hall to the right and go all the way round until you get to the cafeteria."
Percival: "My thanks, master."
Y/n chuckled before the circle glowed behind him again. He turned around and came face to face with a pair of new servants, one of which bore a familiar face.
???1: "NGAH!! MEAT! I NEED MEAT!!"
Y/n: "... Nani?"
???1: "Huh? OH! My bad, I'm saber. Just call me Ibuki though."
Y/n: "... Is that a fucking Virgin Killer?"
Ibuki: "Yes? No? I dunno, I just have it."
Y/n sighed before turning his attention to the other servant. He immediately recognised the weapon she wielded as Rhongomyniad. Lartoria's lance.
But the servant itself was not Artoria.
???: "Heh! Who woulda thought I'd get to show off this form as well, eh, master? Anyway, Lancer class, Mordred Pendragon Just tell me who ya need me to beat the shit outta!"
Y/n: "... I am several levels of confused."
Mordred: "Trust me, so am I. But, hey, I got bigger tits now so if I hear ya callin' me flat, I'm gonna suffocate you."
Y/n: "... This is gonna be fun to explain to saber Mordred. Anyway, Percival's in the kitchen and I'm kind hungry again so fuggit. Imma go eat."
Mordred laughed as she and Ibuki both followed their master to the cafeteria.
Things were gonna get interesting going forward. Gods converging and other forms of servants showing up left, right and centre. Y/n could only say one thing.
Y/n: "I fear for when the girls decide they want a mass mana transfer..."
Fate/Grand Shenanigans: Fog Of London
Fin.
Next Time: Fate/Grand Shenanigans: Stateside Shitshow.