Omg! Happy 100k Solace! Salamat po sa lahat ng nagbasa. Dahil diyan, may pajacket— este, may pa-special chapter tayo! Hi Daddy Rae, hihihi.
Warning: Medyo may spoiler 'pag 'di niyo nabasa WPGQ, hehe.
-special account: hiraeth-
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EVER SINCE I grew consciousness, the world I knew was one filled with trees and magic. The riverbanks where I stayed for the most days invited animals all over the forest. The sky occasionally rains, but it's mostly blue with rare appearances of clouds.
Everyday was mostly the same.
I have a routine that I religiously follow. From waking up and taking a stroll, to watching the sun set and calling it a day. For the past three years, this is my constant.
Until it ceased to be a constant anymore.
"Keiko."
Tawag ko sa aking fox na mukhang aligaga. Its nine tails swished and she keeps on gesturing somewhere. I frowned, looking up from the berries I'm tying. What got her attention now?
"Is something wrong?"
Keiko only snapped her tails before rushing towards the direction she was eyeing. Worried, I followed her, keeping an eye out in my surroundings. This forest is guarded with elven spirits so no one can usually enter it. Siguro'y may nakapasok dito kaya hindi mapakali si Keiko.
Pero... sino naman ang papasok sa lugar na 'to?
I slowed down when I felt it. Someone's here in the forest with me. They're not threatening, but I don't know if they're friendly. No one, not even the locals from the town, has entered this forest. Just who is this person?
Natigilan ako nang makita ito. Isang babae ang nakatayo sa gitna ng damuhan. Hair as white and pure as snow, eyes that held the color and clearness of the ocean, pinkish lips upturned into a frown, elven ears that adorably peeked out of the hair, and milky skin of a fair maiden.
She looks undeniably stunning, even though she's fuming.
"Paano ako makakakain ng hapunan nito! Ang sarap pa naman no'n!"
I fought back a smile when I heard her whine. Her voice isn't small or high-pitched, instead it held an edge over the clarity. It was a voice that steals everyone attention. A voice meant to be heard.
Tinadyak niya ang paa sa lupa bago umupo sa malaking ugat ng kahoy. She looks really frustrated now. I can't help but wonder what she's worrying about. Nawawala kaya siya? The forest can be really confusing for those who came uninvited. It becomes a maze-like prison.
Ngunit... hapunan? Why is she thinking about that when it's midday?
A pout formed in her lips as she obviously racked her brains in finding the exit. Ilang sandali akong nanatili sa kinatatayuan at nakatitig lang sa kaniya. Then, I snapped back to my senses.
What am I doing here, watching someone so closely like a stalker? Even though she isn't really doing anything, isn't my behavior too weird and strange? Aren't I invading her privacy as well?
Napaatras ako. Dahil sa ginawa ay napatingin si Keiko sa aking banda. The bush she's hiding in rustled, taking the pretty woman's attention. I motioned for Keiko to stop and that we both leave, pero ang pag-alis niya ay masyado ring maingay para sa tahimik na gubat. From the corner of my eye, I saw the woman stand up.
Keiko's ears drooped and she jumped towards me. She landed on a twig that quickly broke. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako dahil siguradong alam na ng babaeng may nagtatago dito.
Sinulyapan ko siya. I think... it'd be better if I show myself.
Steps silent, I walked closer until I stood in front of her. Unti-unting umangat ang tingin niya hanggang sa magtama ang mata namin. I realized my appreciation could only grow from our close proximity. Her long, white lashes is further accentuating the color of her eyes.
She took a step back and I gained the courage to speak.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, voice a bit low because it's been long since I've talked to a person.
Umatras ulit siya kaya tumalim ang mata ko. Why does she look so afraid? Is it because of me?
I studied her clothes. It's been bugging me for a while now, but they don't look like the sort of clothes I usually see on stores.
"How did you get inside the forest?" I asked again, curious how she was able to enter a guarded forest.
"I..." she hesitated. "Woke up here."
Wake up here? How is such a thing possible when the forest does not entertain humans?
"Hm." I gave her one last look before turning. She's lying. "Get out."
Aalis na sana ako nang marinig ang boses niya. "I don't know how."
I frowned. Is she really keeping up her act? Alam ko namang nagsisinungaling lang siya na dito siya nagising. It's unbelievable, after all. She must have broken one of the forest's magic wall to enter. Kaya bakit niya sasabihin sa'kin na 'di siya marunong ng daan palabas?
Napalingon ako sa kaniya. "What?"
"I don't know how to get out of here."
Then, I remembered her earlier behavior. She really looked annoyed and she keeps on muttering something under her breath. Siguro ay nakalimutan niya na ang daan palabas dahil naliligaw siya?
Is she actually bad with directions? Pft. "That's awfully cute." I murmured to myself.
Napasulyap ako sa babae at nagulat ako nang makitang nakatitig siya sa'kin. Curiousity was present in her eyes, as well as the unending spark of irritation. I sighed, almost fondly if I could say so, and took one of the transportation cards behind me.
Inihagis ko papunta sa kaniya ang baraha. It landed on her feet and automatically caged her in a blue box, a transparent shield that is the same height and size as her. Lumapit ako sa kaniya at yumuko para magtama ang mata namin. Confusion now appeared beside frustration.
I like how her eyes conveys every feeling she's experiencing. It's like I was given the privilege to stare at the window of her soul.
"Until we meet again, lost elf." I promised.
Her mouth opened up to respond but the transportation card already activated. Natagpuan ko muli ang sarili na nag-iisang nakatayo sa harap ng gubat. A chuckle left my lips as I remembered her reactions, the way her body instinctively moved, and how she encountered a problem in the first place.
I've never seen anyone as bad in directions as her—
Natigilan ako nang biglang sumakit ang ulo. Pain just shot up towards the back of my head, stinging for a few seconds. Napahawak ako sa noo. What was that? Am I exhausted that using one card already made me tired?
Keiko whined and my thoughts broke. I smiled and sat down to scratch the back of her ears.
"What do you think, Keiko? Should we visit the town later?"
Keiko wagged her tail and I used that as an affirmation. Tumayo ako't naglakad palabas ng gubat.
From then on, my constant was destroyed by the white-haired elf.
Ngunit... mukhang hindi lang din siya ang nakagiba no'n.
Kumunot ang noo ko nang makitang dumami ang tao sa bayan. The town of Gaea doesn't have too many visitors, even though it's the most unrestricted city when it comes to visitors. Wala naman akong reklamo na konti lang kami, since it's more peaceful that way, but it's too strange.
How come the town massively gained people overnight? Was a big hunt arriving? But then... no one really touches the monsters in the forest. Kung ganito karami ang sasali sa hunting, won't the animals be gone the next day?
Huminto ako't pinagmasdan ang kasuotan nila. It's similar to the white-haired elf. Our common clothes consists of cloaks and tunics, but some people wear armors and have tougher sleeves. All of them also posses at least one weapon. Saan kaya sila galing? The Lunaria is still closed for visitors, so did they come from the neighboring continent?
"Nasaan na si ganda?! Nakita niyo ba?"
"Tanga ka! Kung nakita ko, e'di sana hatak-hatak ko na di'ba? Gamitin mo nga 'yang utak mo kung minsan!"
"Tinatanong ng maayos, parang engot kung sumagot. Ikaw nga magpaliwanag kay Halcyon do'n!"
"Ayoko nga! Mapagalitan pa ako mamaya kasi 'di ko nahanap lalabs niya!"
I moved away from the noisy pair. Now that I think about it, aside from their strange appearances, the new arrivals are also running back and forth while calling for someone. Napaka-ingay nila sa tahimik na bayan namin.
I headed towards the market after almost circling the whole town. I wanted to see the white-haired elf again but I couldn't see her. Higit tatlumpung minuto na at ni anino ay hindi nagpapakita. Maybe... we're just meant to met in the forest and never again—?
Napahinto ako nang makita ang isang naka-cloak na pigura sa harap ng isang stall. Isang kulay asul na kristal ang hawak-hawak niya. She's so fixated in it that she failed to notice me standing beside her.
I watched her lashes fall as her eyes narrowed at the crystal. I can't help but wonder that it's similar to the blue sky staring at the ocean. Both so marvelously beautiful that the rest becomes nothing but a blur.
"It's beautiful." hindi ko mapigilang tugon. "It compliments your eyes."
For a moment, she stiffened when her eyes landed on me. I pushed down the warm feeling of having her attention. I placed a hand over the table and scanned over the rest of the stones, as well as the women who gawked over them.
"It's the only precious stone in this treasure box," You are. "The others are just plain rocks." Unbefitting.
I glanced at her sideways, seeing a slight frown marring her face. She answered me with a gratitude I have no response to. Kaya naman umalis na lang ako doon.
Nang magpasalamat siya ay parang may gumising ulit sa'kin. I can't believe I said those things, even though they're the truth. I've always had amazing control over myself, on how I conduct and the words that leave my mouth. But whenever the elf stays close, I lose my carefully crafted control.
Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at muling lumingon. A short-haired girl talked to the elf and dragged her away. Siguro ay kaibigan niya 'yon. Of course, she must be part of this massive hunt since she's not familiar to me.
Bumalik ako sa stall at binili ang asul na kristal.
I passed by the diner to get some food. It was crowded and loud. I ignored the noisy bunch and made my way to the counter, quickly ordering what I want. I couldn't help but notice the rising tension everyone had. Parang nahahati ang diner sa tatlong malalakas na panig.
Bumuntong-hininga ako't napailing. Hindi ko na lang iyon papansinin. I am not part of their problems after all. There has always been a feud between humans in terms of power and greed.
Nang makuha ang bibilhin ay lumabas na ako. Tuluyan na akong nakalabas nang isang tao ang mabilis na dumaan sa gilid ko. He aggressively pushed the door open and shouted that he has some announcement. I frowned when I heard him mention something about a King Cobra.
So it really was a hunt? Maybe that's why they let them all in too. The monstrous snake has been causing trouble for the locals, killing everyone who steps into its territory.
I took a step forwards when another shout made me stop. "The Slayer title has been taken permanently. The player has successfully killed five bosses: the Wolf King, the Spider Queen, the King Cobra, the Jaguar Commander and the Raven Panther."
Nagkagulo sa loob matapos marinig iyon. I glanced back to watch the chaos unfold. Why are they so panicky over something like that? Are they actually divided in groups so they're afraid of others stealing their hunts?
Napabuntong-hininga ako. I shouldn't think so deeply about it. After all, I'm not part of them.
They'll eventually leave. My constant will return.
Nakahilig ako sa puno at tinititigan ang asul na kristal. Why did I buy this again? The stone was really beautiful and it keeps on summoning a pretty face on my mind. Parang ang sayang kung iiwan ko siya sa ibang mga bato. Parang hindi ko kaya kung wala siya sa kamay ko.
I've never been a fan of crystals but the oceanic stone grounds me. It's... comforting.
"Sigurado akong dito 'yon eh."
Napatingala ako nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses. Hindi nga ako nagkamali. The white-haired elf now stands in front of me again.
Napangiti ako nang makita ang mukha niya. Lalo na ang malamang nawawala naman siya ulit. Why is she so bad at directions? Ni sa simpleng kaliwa o kanan ay naguguluhan siya.
It makes me want to take care of her. Make sure that she never loses her way again. Make sure she knows the way home.
"Stop calling me lost elf, already." nakasimangot niyang saad. "My name is Solace, okay? Solace?"
"Solace..." I tested the name on my tongue.
It perfectly fits her, I thought. Like the blue stone that grounds me, her very presence speaks comfort. Na parang kahit nawawala ka o malayo ka sa pinanggalingan ay hindi ka matatakot.
Dahil kasama mo siya.
I clenched my fist around the blue stone. The night was already closing as day slowly approached. Umihip ang hangin at sinayaw nito ang damuhan, gano'n na rin ang buhok ni Solace. She was sitting several meters away but her beauty is still a marvel.
Habang naglalakad ako palapit ay hindi ko mapigilan ang pagsakit ng dibdib. Maybe it's because my heart is thundering so dangerously, that I'm afraid it'll jump out of my chest to run towards Solace. O dahil kahit na papalapit ako sa kaniya ay parang sobrang layo pa rin naming dalawa.
"What are you staring in the space for, elf?"
Lumingon siya. Ocean eyes met obsidian ones. The corner of her lips lifted to form a smile.
See, elf. We're staring at each other and we're so close, but why do I feel like there's still a line between us?
"Oh. Hindi, I'm resting. I just finished killing Night Goblins."
Ah, right. They came here to hunt. Akala ko nga tapos na sila dahil mukhang naubos naman nila ang mga masasamang monsters dito sa gubat. Maybe this pain is due to the fact that she's going to leave any day.
I inwardly shook those thoughts off and gave a reply. The Night Goblins are very good dancers so I was a bit surprised that she killed them. They're... a little harmless.
"I killed them so I can level up and get gold. Need to earn more..."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Level up?"
Solace laughed. The sound was so beautiful that it stole my attention for a few moments.
"Yes! Level up! I'm nearing Level 28 now."
All I could do was stare at her. Is that some hunter language? I have never heard of such things as levelling up in this world.
Ngunit bago pa ako makasagot ay dumating na ang maiingay niyang kasama. The short-haired girl who has the traits of a cat infuriated me. I have no idea what the hell she wants from me and why she keeps on harassing me. She even dragged my wolf in her rage.
I don't understand what she meant by Guild Base but I can understand that she wants to get fifty-thousand gold from me. Akala niya ba gano'n ako kayaman? They can just build a hut from scratch! There's no need to make a fuss.
She's noisy and her mouth has no filter. Solace told me her name was Feyre, and she was more comparable to a fire than an actual fairy. The cat's too rude and impulsive for that comparison.
Pero ang inis ko sa babaeng 'yon ay wala sa irita ko sa mga lalaki na pumaligid kay Solace. How dare they crowd her and make her uncomfortable? How dare they use their eyes to rake over Sol's body and comment indecent thoughts? How dare they want her for themselves?
I hate them for looking at her like she was an item to be brought. I hate their tongues that quickly changes once they've seen her. I hate their eyes that sticks like glue. If I could only cut and carve them out then feed them to Keiko.
I hate that because of their actions, she needs to wear a cloak all the time and hide whenever they try to come closer.
Tinitigan ko siya. The hood of her cloak is down and her hands are clutched together. Napasigaw pa siya nang makita ako. My eyes briefly flickered down to her neck, seeing it bare, before my body moved on its own and hugged her.
"Elf." I breathed, ducking my head down so my mouth can reach her ears. "I take back my words. You should cover yourself up. I hate their eyes on you."
I wasn't able to hear her reply because the cat got in the way. Pinanood ko silang umalis at hindi na muling sumama. Maybe fate would let me meet Solace again or I'd go look for him once I finished my errands.
Binuksan ko ang palad at tinitigan ang asul na kristal doon. This will really compliment her eyes and will look good in her neck.
"Staking your claim, huh?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa naisip. What? I'm not chaining her to me. I just wanted to give it as a gift.
Bakit ba bigla kong naisip 'yon?
The next days I was even more confused. I thought their hunt was over but they frequented the forests even more, na parang wala silang balak umalis. Are they really planning on staying here? After years of peace, they just barged in here to produce noise after noise?
There was a certain day where the people in town disappeared. Hindi ako makapaniwala nang makita 'yon dahil kanina lang ay parang hindi mapakali ang mga tao. Did something happen? Did a magical creature came here to imprison them?
Natigilan ang pag-iisip ko nang makita ang isang puting buhok. I followed the elf towards an abandoned city. I frowned, using the wall to enter since most of them were standing by the gates.
The City of Ghosts? Bakit sila pupunta rito? The monsters here is scarce. Arthur, the reigning king, has killed them all. Wala silang makukuha dito—
"Hahaha!"
A stinging pain shot through my head. I grunted and shut my eyes. Napahawak ako sa ulo. Why... That was my voice, right? Bakit ako tumawa sa isipan ko?
I gasped out an exhale, staggering forwards. Nagteleport ako papunta sa pinakataas na building at nilagyan ng harang ang pinto. The sky was dark, void of stars and only the cloud of smokes was present. Sinayaw ng malamig na hangin ang buhok ko. I sat on the railings, looking down at the city.
Nanatili ako doon at pinakinggan ang ginagawa ng mga tao sa ilalim. I thought it was a monster hunt, but they seem to be killing each other. Isang nakakasilaw na liwanag ang nakita ko at sa isang iglap ay nasira ang mga gusali mula sa umatake papunta sa may gate ng city. My eyes widened, seeing half the city was almost destroyed because of the attack.
Elf—! Tatayo na sana ako nang biglang tumibok ang puso ko. My body shivered and I couldn't move. My eyes widened. Something... out there was calling towards me and my body responded. Something out there belonged to me.
"Mine."
I fell back on the floor, clutching my chest. My body was once again calm but there was still the strangeness from earlier. Was it the light? Did my body react to the light?
"The sword... is ours."
I muffled a groan in my knees when my head ached again. My thoughts rang again, but I couldn't tell them very clearly. Napakalinaw ng boses at ng mensahe pero hindi ko rin ito maintindihan.
I loudly exhaled when my body calmed down. Once again, the voices and memories are staring to blur. Sinulyapan ko si Keiko na nag-aalalang nakatingin sa'kin.
"Keiko..." I weakly called out. "Let's go."
That night, I dreamed of a young girl with vibrant eyes and dazzling smile.
Alam kong bente o mahigit benteng taon na akong nakatira dito. Alam ko 'yon dahil 'yon na ang edad ko. That was the truth engraved in my mind, but I couldn't really remember my past. Hindi ko maalala ang ginagawa noong bata ako o kung sino ang mga magulang ko.
Even though I'm named Hiraeth, it sounds foreign on my tongue. It doesn't feel like mine, rather it makes me yearn for something... I do not know.
Something's happening in the town. Narinig kong tinawag nila ito na parang clash. Nang makarating ako sa sinasabi nilang lugar ay isang away nga ang nasaksihan ko. Why would they fight inside the city? Is it like Sol's situation from before?
Have they really just barged in our town to cause damage?
My mouth parted when my eyes met Sol's. I have a lot of question for you, you know. I want to know why you came here and destroyed our peace. I want to know why you came here and disrupted my constant. I want to know why you came here and messed up my mind.
Why is it that all I could ever think about is a white rose and a golden sword? Why is it that every time my eyes lands on your blade, my heart constricts? Why is it that my mind wouldn't stop thinking about you? Why am I having dreams about a person I don't remember?
Why, even after all that confusion, I still can't help but want to hold you?
"Twitter? Company site? What are those?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
Mula pa kanina, hindi ko na maintindihan ang pinagsasabi ni Solace. What Game of Governors is she talking about? Twitter account? Ano 'yon? I have never heard of this strange words from before.
That time, I felt like the line that divided us grew. Kahit na kaharap ko siya at nakayakap lang kanina, may haliging pumapagitna sa'kin.
Like we're worlds apart.
"What are you talking about? You sound like you're living in a completely different world."
There's actually an ocean separating us both.
"Inside the game?" tanong niya.
I tilted my head, insides slowly burning cold. "Game?"
What... is she talking about?
Solace chuckled. "You're acting weird, Hiraeth. Wala ka bang tulog? Get out of the game for now and rest outside!"
My heart started beating frantically.
"Outside? What do you mean by outside and game?"
"Outside. In our world. Earth! Ano bang nahithit mo? Nakalimutan mo na bang hindi tayo dito tumitira at laro lang 'to? Is Arth Online really that realistic?"
Sumasakit na ang ulo ko sa sinasabi niya. My breathing started to turn heavily and I couldn't think straight anymore.
"What are you talking about, Solace?" I asked, voice low and rough as confusion, fear, and uncertainty arose in me. "I've been living here for the past 20 years. It was you who just appeared before me," You made me go crazy. "Then after you came a lot more. You just appeared out of nowhere." And started to change my constant. So, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Solace paused and her lips parted. "This is a game, Hiraeth. It was launched four or five days ago. Arth Online."
Her every word was like a punch to my face. Her every word was like a blade of lies that pierced my heart. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang lumamig ang buong katawan. I unconsciously took a step back. Solace did not make any move.
I found myself running away.
A... game? I don't quite understand what that means, but if she's talking like a world exists after or apart from this then— then, what am I?
Tumigil ako sa harap ng isang lawa. I looked down and stared at my reflection. The dark locks of my hair touched the water and without my knowledge, tears were already running down my face.
Itinaas ko ang kamay at tiningnan ito. A game? This was all a game? So when the people started to grow, they were all from the outside world who wanted to play the game? That's why they kill the monsters and each other?
So... what does that make me?
"What does that make you~?"
I groaned painfully and crouched down, holding my head. Why is it that I can't control my thoughts sometimes?
"If they're the real ones, doesn't that make us a fake?"
A fake? My heart thundered in my chest. I'm not... real? I—I'm just part of the game they're playing?
"A broken piece of data."
Then, but, what about the days I've spent here?
"Don't you get it? You don't have any memories of your childhood. All you can remember is that same routine. To wake up, move around and go back to sleep."
Everything was a lie?
"What is the lie and what is the truth, hm? Doesn't it make you want to lose sanity? But... no matter. The truth is that we're a fake and they're the ones who exist. We're nothing but datas."
"Stop it."
"So what about the lie?"
Parang nabuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig nang mahawakan ko ang kristal. The silver chain feels cold and harsh in my skin.
It's not just the oceans. It's not just the space. It's not just that we're far away.
"The lie is that..."
"Shut up!" I hissed loudly, shaking my head. "Shut up!"
"The lie is thinking she can ever be yours."
My breath hitched and I clenched my fists. It wasn't just that there was a line between us that's hard to cross. It was always a line I could never cross. It was a line that divided reality and data.
We're worlds apart. We exist differently.
Laughter rang in my mind and I raised up my hand to throw something. Pero nang makita ko ang kulay asul sa kamay ay natigilan ako. My body slowly calmed down as I stared at the familiar blue eyes. It was just a color, but it quickly soothed my soul. Napaupo ako sa pagod, ni hindi ko man lang namalayang nakatayo na pala ako ulit.
The forest, whose quietness once comforted me, was haunting now. The stillness of the trees makes me feel rooted. Gumagapang ang mga ugat para pumalibot sa paa ko at pinipigilan akong gumalaw. I'm helpless and for once...
I'm lost.
Madilim ang buong paligid.
I turned around to see a post behind me. Mataas ito at may tatlong kulay na umiilaw. Dilaw, berde, at pula.
Napalingon ako nang maramdaman ang isang presensiya sa likod. My eyes widened when I saw stripes of white in the ground I'm stepping on. Now, it looks like I'm in the middle of some road.
A young girl is standing in front of me.
Frowning, I stepped forward. "Nasaan ako?"
She didn't answer, only holding her hand out. I glanced at it hesitantly.
"Am I lost?" sa halip na tanong ko.
"Are you?" her mouth moved. I could hear her voice but at the same time I couldn't. "Let's find our way home?"
She smiled, one as dazzling as the rest. When I stepped forwards just to reach her outstretched hand, light started to rush towards us and something hit her body. Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat at—
I gasped, waking up. Ang mga sumasayaw na dahon at mahinang huni ng ibon ang bumungad sa'kin. Back then, I would simply let time pass and watch the sky. Ngayon ay hindi ako mapakali.
Mabilis akong tumayo at tumakbo palabas ng gubat. I passed the trees I once spend time observing. Tinungo ko ang lugar kung saan sila palaging nag-aaway pero hindi ko nakita ang hinahanap. I ran in the alleys, eyes flicking between shops, looking for a certain white-haired elf.
I stopped.
Natigilan ako nang makita ang pamilyar na pigura at puting buhok. Solace stood outside the diner with a man in front of her. He was wearing the same clothes as the others, one that further implied the difference between our existence. Kinakausap niya si Solace na tumatango-tango sa kaniya.
He must be like Solace too. He must be someone from the outside.
Between the two of us, doesn't he deserve to stand beside Solace more? After all, he's real and I'm just... I'm just—
Dumaan sa banda ko ang tingin ni Solace at natigilan siya. My breathing hitched. In contrast to my earlier excitement and rushing, I took a step back and let the shadows of the alley cover me.
I shouldn't stand beside you, nor even show myself to you. Not when I'm confused, and lost, and uncertain about a lot of things. Not when I don't even know what the fuck is going on. Not when I'm not sure if my existence is no more than a data.
So please don't run after me. Don't leave the person you're talking just to chase after me like you wanted me to stop— because I will.
So please don't shout for me. Don't call for my name with a broken voice like you wanted to see me and hear me talk— because I will.
So please don't stand there. Don't stand there and wait for me to show myself like you'd always be patient for me to open up— because I will.
So please don't listen. Don't open your ears and show me that you really listen so I can say anything and you'll be there— because I will.
Because I will always search for the blue eyes and white hair and elven ears. There's a line I can't cross and an invisible wall that divides us, but I will resist if you ask.
Because I will always search for that feeling of familiarity and comfort in my heart.
Dahil sa gitna ng pagkawala ko ay isang tao lang ang nagbibigay ng rason sa'kin para kumalma.
It's laughable, really. How many days since I've only met you but why do I feel like I've known you my whole life? With the little interactions that we had, why is my feelings just and true?
Na parang ito naman dapat ang mangyari.
"But strangely, amidst my anger, I couldn't help but want to see your face."
It might be strange or it might not be. In the middle of this vast sea, I'm lost in my small boat. I have no true concept of reality and not.
There's a longing in my bones and it screams for home. There's a yearning in my heart and it sings for something I may never return.
Ngunit lahat iyon nawawala kapag nakikita kita.
I'm lost with no home to turn, but everything fades when I see you, my solace.
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-to be continued-
[BONUS]
Isang tawag ang nagpabukas ng mata niya. Ibinaba niya ang papel na binabasa kanina at sinagot ang telepono. Isang babaeng boses ang magiliw na bumati sa kaniya.
"Why did you call?" pagod na tanong niya.
"It's him." the caller replied making him stiffen. "His finger moved. Rius, he's responding."
Napatayo siya. His fingers trembled. "After the event, we'll move him here."
[end of bonus, tangina anong bonus yun]