Greg and Izleena bowed, taking a knee and presenting their offering, the crossbow, as well as a quiver of arrows far too long for it. Leena stepped forward.
"A gift to honor the goddess of the hunt, my finest weapon. May it be a symbol of prosperity to all." She said, a regal accent, humbly stepping back.
"And a barrel of my master's finest mead." Greg said, presenting the barrel. "May it honor the great Dionysus with much enjoyment and pleasure in today's festivities?"
"And for my gift." Trembled Thaddeus, "A feast of the eyes, and a tease of the senses. May your lust boil and your appetite be quenched, if you should choose to bless us with the patience of a god. For no mortal man could resist her charm and grace, and only a god of patience and timing such as yourself, should enjoy her as your prize." He said, nodding to Greg and clapping as drums began beating and trumpets played an enticing tune of mystery.
"Greg, what are we waiting for?" Izleena muttered through a closed mouth.
"We're waiting for better scans, Leena. That fucker is 5 times my size, and armored to the hilt. I assumed when they said he was too big to fly they meant lardass, not side of beef. I can't just go swinging and hope to do something. Gizzy needs to get closer, get better readings before the shit hits the fan. You're not gonna like this next part, but trust me, I like it even less." He sighed.
"Oh gross." She cringed as Gizzy was untied, standing slowly, and revealing her heavily adorned body, wearing very little but the coins and lace of a belly-dancer.
"Oh trust me; we're all grossed out by where this is going." Greg whispered. Gizzy placed a bare foot forward, undulating slowly to the beat, and making her way forward.
"How bold of you to suggest my patience." Dionysus growled. "But continue as you wish." He nodded in approval. Gizzy took a harsh step, grabbing the wooden pole and spinning around it, as the cart wheeled to the foot of the throne and Dionysus leaned to the edge of his seat. She slid, moon-walking from it with a spin, pretending to fall over, catching herself with the pole, and grabbing a bottle of wine from the barrels at the rear of the cart. She slowly and seductively licked the bottle, playfully biting the cork off and spitting it skyward. Gizzy let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes and pouring the white wine down her scalp and body, shaking her dreadlocks free and dropping suddenly as if either displaying her ass, or unscrewing something near the base of the wooden pole.
"Come a little closer, this carriage doesn't do well with steps." She winked, tonguing her canines and spinning around the pole.
"How long do you plan to tempt me?" The bull asked, standing up and moving to the edge of the steps, sitting in front. He now sat centered off the elevated platform, and was eye-level to a nearly 8 foot Gizzy, on a 3 foot high carriage base.
"Doesn't a little wait make the feast better?" She asked, pouring some of the wine into her mouth and leaning forward to pour the rest into his, shaking her breasts in the process and scanning inside of his helmet.
"A little wait may ripen the fine wine, but a tried-patience may anger the most patient god. Is this faith in my patience, or are you foolishly trying to make this worse on yourself?" he asked, reaching out and lightly touching her thigh.
"Gross." Izleena scowled.
"Oh I bet I can handle you better then you can imagine." Gizzy whispered, moving his gaze to her displayed rear and away from the fact that the pole itself was rotating on its last threats. She shook her ass and loosened the pole free.
"Get ready." Greg whispered to Izleena. She nervously eyed the crossbow in front of her, taking a calming breath as Greg's fingers snapped. In a single moment, like a well timed machine, Greg stomped the edge of the table, flinging the crossbow into the air, as Gizzy disconnected the pole, her ass in the air and both hands on the gold colored bars at the poll's base. Greg sprinted, drawing the eyes of Artemis as a moving target while the crossbow landed in Izleena's hands.
Haphazardly, her hands caught it, loading it with one of the fumbling arrows now spilling out everywhere. Greg placed the tipped arrow in his teeth, bending the flag and fastening the dangling rope as he strung it like a well hidden bow. Gizzy bent upward, flinging the wooden pole to her left, drawing the sword from it's hollow core to the right, going for a throat-shot before the bull could react. Greg knocked and aimed, lining the tipped arrow up to the minotaur's eye slits just as Artemis lined her bow with him. Izleena shouldered her weapon, pulling the trigger and sending an arrow towards Artemis. Like a trio of hands on a fine clock, everything went flawlessly, right until it really didn't. And it really didn't, extremely hard.
The arrow sailed in slow-motion towards Artemis, striking the air in front of her and bouncing, as a green glow faded from the impact point, around her, barely jarring her shot. The sword struck Dionysus' helm, creasing it and raking sparks from his face without damage. Greg released the tipped arrow lodging it in the chestplate and barely sinking the tip in. Still as time slowed, His face scrunched into a confused expression, and a white light rushed just past his head with a beam-like hum. Time caught up to speed as Greg turned to see the stone pillar next to him now supporting a plate-sized missing hole, the edges of the clean hole, now red with molten marble and the sound of the pillar crackling under the weight.
"That's a hell of a bow." He nodded, as Gizzy flailed through the air, landing face-down and sliding, tossing him the sword, rolling to her back to get up. He tossed her the bow, now arrowless and wielding the fantasy claymore with intentions.
"What the crap!?" Izleena shrieked as a staggering Gizzy tackled her out of the way, and another white beam vaporized the offering table and made another foot-wide port-window in the stone temple's exterior wall.
"Shit..." Gizzy added, grabbing another discarded arrow and knocking it, ducking for cover.
"She has a bow that can laser through stone?" Izleena asked in alarmed pitch.
"Yea that changes things. I assumed as a goddess of archery she was just a really good shot, wasn't expecting a mythical techno-bow. That's on me. But luckily with our more advanced alloys, we're actually far more heat resistant than the marble." She assured, leaning out to see and nearly taking another beam. She retracted her arm quickly, holding up her right hand and noticing the 3 missing fingers between thumb and pinky, melted off to just glowing nubs.
"Never mind, it's all fucked, just run." Gizzy gnashed.
"She's also got energy shielding." Izleena reminded.
"WHAT!?" Gizzy yelled. "You sure you just didn't miss?" she asked, pushing her to dart to the next pillar as an additional beam whizzed past.
"Yes I'm sure I didn't miss, asshole. My aim was fairly dead-on. I know what energy shielding looks like." Izleena objected.
Greg wailed the sword through the air, deflecting of a horn and barely scratching it, as Dionysus grabbed his own sword from his throne, now wielding about 9 feet of folded steel.
"Alright Vulcan, you better not fail us now." Greg sighed, delivering an overhead swing at full power, reducing the sword to half a sword, as Dionysus smirked with entertainment, holding up his now severed weapon.
"Someone has slain a god before, or have you merely befriended someone who has?" Dionysus asked, coyly.
"Little bit of both, little this, little that." Greg shrugged, backhanding the blade to catch him off-guard. For several metric tons of biomech beef, he moved just fast enough to keep his head.
"Arrow me." Gizzy hollered, sliding to a stop and reversing directions. She caught the thrown arrow and knocked it, mid-sprint. Gizzy rolled over, firing a shot and hitting Artemis square in the energy shielding."
"Told you!" hollered Izleena.
"You're supposed to be running, sweetie." She yelled back. Greg took a hoof to the chest, snapping off the corner of the carriage and almost landing on one knee before correcting himself with the blade. He looked to the right as Artemis took aim, then forward to the charging bull closing distance.
"That's not even fair." He grumbled. He squatted down, propelling himself just high enough to clear the beast that t-boned Gizzy mid aim. As he landed, Greg lifted the sword out, tilting it and stepping back, so that the incoming beam of light struck sword and not him. The bevels split and deflected the bow's beam into several smaller ones in all directions.
"Awe, hell." Shrieked Izleena, ducking one of them, and side stepping the rolling ball of Dionysus and Gizzy. One of the beams struck the roof, dropping debris on Artemis as she let out a cry and folded under the falling stone.
"Leena, you good?" Greg asked.
"I'm fine." She yelled, spotting the tipped arrow on the ground and crawling for it. Greg rushed to Artemis and began rapidly pummeling her shielding as the force flattened her and bounced her off the stone below. He batted her away like a 250 pound baseball, clearing a path to the fancy bow she dropped.
Gizzy's head deflected against the marble pillar and Dionysus delivered devastating hit after hit, grinding her limp carcass in like a rag-doll. Her vision, swayed, just a blur of stone and punches as she struggled just to remain conscious. Greg drew the glimmering bow, taking aim at a point blank Artemis, now bracing in fear.
"You would not execute an unarmed woman." She begged.
"You tried to microwave my wife, you Eridani bitch." He growled as she let out a scream. Izleena sprinted frantically for the crossbow, as a loud hum of energy silenced the shriek and a spray of red pulp decorated the wall in her far rear view. Izleena draw back the arrow and ran closer, close enough even she couldn't miss. Dionysus yanked Gizzy's battered face close to his helm, breathing heat at her to make a point of his rage.
"Though your efforts were clever, I will have you're flesh regardless." He roared, swallowing harshly mid roar and hunching with a slight wheeze. He dropped Gizzy and they both slouched in breathless pain.
"Teamwork makes the dream work, Angus." Gizzy coughed, raising a middle finger as he struggled to reach the arrow in his spine. Before he could pull it out, a spray of blue and black fluid added another war stripe to Gizzy's collar, the bull's head rolling further then the rest of his slumping body. Gizzy peered up with one functional eye at Izleena holding a bow and Greg leaning on a sword just behind the twitching side of Osirian chuckroast.
"So that went well." He panted.
"Imean.." Gizzy slurred, trying to stand and sliding back down in the slippery pool of blood. "Youjs gotta get out there, enjoy the game, give hundred and ten percendt, WeyGotta good team thisseaszon, believeing is have the scrategy, really." She babbled, flopping over again as Izleena tried to prop her up.
"Oh my gods, you're hurt." She sighed, tending to her battered eye.
"Nah, thisswas like thiss when I got here." Gizzy wheezed. Greg stepped in circles, rotating his shoulder and rubbing his neck like he pulled something.
"Overall, I'm calling this a technical success." He yawned, dropping the sword and sitting down on the remaining half of the stone altar.
"It's gonna grow back, right?" Leena asked, checking her wrecked eye and missing fingers.
"Yea, I'm good. It's really about going out there and having fun, not about who scored the most points, or who Lins or Wooses." She droned on deliriously, her good eye just kinda wandering around for something to focus on.
"She'll be fine." Greg assured. "30 minutes, 6 or 7 beers, she'll be great."
Greg casually picked up his bow and a normal arrow, twirling it casually as the priest softly tried to sneak out the big gaping hole in the wall. Greg whistled playfully, taking aim and sending a faint blurry wisp into his back, as he rolled through the stone-hole.
Izleena peered at him with a stern look. Greg shrugged.
"...he started it, not my fault we have tougher skin. If you can't take it, don't dish it out." He sighed as guards broke open the doors and filed in with bows and swords drawn, noticing the dead gods and the dark red paint-job where Artemis was formerly living. Greg slowly rotated his wrist, propeller spinning the sword and pacing in whimsically wide steps.
"Anyone want to start some shit?" He asked. He scratched his bloody beard as the tune of a dozen swords being placed down in quick session rang out musically. It was one of his favorite songs. "Weapons down", by the Surrenders. Big hit in Troy.
"Send these wings to Anubis; you have a new king on the throne." Greg snarled.