Hope can be dangerous, indeed.
William had to learn to accept the fact things were changing and they would only grow more and more distant with Aydan. Not that Aydan had done anything to hurt him nor meant to change things between them, there were just the subtle yet incontrovertible alterations in him.
One day Aydan came to the practice wearing blue jeans, which would have been a totally normal things to do for anyone but him.
Aydan never wore anything else but black and dark grey. No one could have made him wear any other colours, and it had become his thing. Not that it was anything unsettling, it was just a tangible sign of the change.
One day he was wearing an orange shirt, which was particularly odd to William, since he knew that was the only colour Aydan couldn't stand of. William was almost certain he would soon see Aydan clothed in lavender from head to toe.
Then he would be a perfect match for Claudia, William thought sourly.
Still and all, colours were just colours. Seeing Aydan wearing something else than black or grey wasn't going to change anything between them. Seeing him wearing other colours didn't offend William in any way, but there was something else he found alarming.
Lately Aydan had been late from the practices (he didn't always make it to William's ride) and he had even skipped a couple of them, which was something you really shouldn't do as competitive swimmer. To skip a practice was only acceptable if you were dying on pneumonia or something worse.
His records only kept getting worse, and William was starting to worry he would soon be kicked out of the club. Swimming just didn't seem that interesting to Aydan anymore.
They had quarrelled about the topic for a couple of times, until William had decided it was easier to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to pick a fight on those occasions they still were together.
The words "we'll always be together" and "I won't leave you" didn't mean much, when Aydan's actions indicated something else. They were just empty promises and pretty words with very little meaning behind them.
Yet he wasn't totally different, and there were moments when Aydan seemed just as he had always been. William wondered if he had even noticed these changes or cared about them as much, if he wasn't in love with Aydan.
How can you un-love someone? Was something William asked himself more and more these days.
Another thing he wondered about was if his listless mood was actually changing to depression. Meaning that he wasn't just moody, but actually clinically depressed.
William had noticed how his mood was getting worse and worse by the day: he didn't feel like getting up from the bed in the mornings, his appetite was nonexistent and he didn't even feel that enthusiastic about swimming anymore. Swimming was simply something he felt like he was obligated to do, just like every day was just another day to get through.
Hiding his joylessness was getting difficult, especially after his mom came back from Sweden — with a man. Actually it wasn't just any man, but the man who was the reason why his parents had divorced.
Olle was a handsome, 45 years old man, who had light blue eyes and blonde hair. He spoke with an accent, but otherwise he didn't seem that much of a northerner. William had a deep antipathy towards the man, yet there he was eating dinner with him and his mom.
''Olle and I have decided to try dating one more time.'' Sophia, William's mom, said as she placed another salad bowl on the table.
Sophia was already near her fifties, but no one could have believed she was day older than forty. She was really strict about her diet, so her body was in perfect shape, which she didn't hide.
She always wore power suits to show everyone she was a prosperous businesswoman. Sophia was tall, but she used high heels, probably to emphasise the businesswoman thing even more. She had chocolate brown eyes, similar to William's, and dark brown hair.
One thing about Sophia was that she really wasn't a housewife type of woman: she didn't cook or do any other household work. Not that it was something a woman or a mother should do, it was simply that she didn't always seem like a mom to William at all.
The food that was on the table wasn't made by Sophia either, but she had wanted to make it seem that way and thus she had served the food for them.
''I hope we can keep this between us three. Dad doesn't need to know.'' Sophia said as she sat down.
William didn't feel like eating at all, but he took some of the dishes on his place to make it look like he did. He nodded at his mom, not trusting that the right words would come out if he opened his mouth.
Nearly nine years ago William's dad had found out his wife was cheating him with a colleague. Sophia had met the man on her business trip to Sweden, and this man was called Olle. They were both married, but it didn't seem to matter to either of them.
When Matthew had found out about the affair, Sophia had promised she would stop seeing Olle — but only a few months later she was caught cheating, with the same man, again.
That had caused numerous heated fights, which 11 years old William had had to listen every night and day, until they had ended up divorcing. Matthew had left the mansion to Sophia and William and builded a new estate for himself.
William had been just a kid, but he had known very well what was the reason of his parents' separation. So he had been resentful for Sophia quite some time, until one day he realised there was no point: it wasn't going to change anything. As the years went by, William no longer thought about the topic, and he had been certain he would never have to see Olle again.
Yet, one Saturday evening in autumn, the man was sitting next to him, and his mom was asking him to lie about it. So what was there to say actually? Maybe William could have shouted to Sophia and Olle that he wasn't going to lie for them. Or that, even after all these years, he hadn't forgiven his mom for what she did to his dad.
Instead William lowered his eyes and tried to nibble at least a few bites before excusing himself and locking his room's door behind him. Only then he let the bitter tears fall on his cheeks.
Before William even realised it, he had sent Ayden a message saying: ''Olle is back.'' He wasn't sure if it was something Aydan still remembered, but when William was younger, he had mentioned the man behind his parents' divorce.
For a long while nothing happened, and William just lay on his bed listening a conversation between Sophia and Olle, that could be heard all the way to his room.
At first they talked about William (''Just give him time, he's a teenager and teenagers aren't easy to please.'') and then about the weather — seriously, the weather — and lastly about work. Once the conversation turned back to William again, he put on his ear buds and started listening to his current favourite artist, Lund.
William couldn't help asking himself if he really was acting like some immature teenager. Maybe he should just fake a smile and let the old grudge go, but it was really hard, when his mom wanted him to lie about the relationship to his dad. William wasn't some pawn to move around whenever his mom needed something.
His cellphone beeped, and William picked it up to check if Aydan had answered his message. He had, but it wasn't quite what William had hoped for.
Aydan wrote: ''U ok?'' William frowned and was about to type: "what do you think?", but instead he just put the phone down and continued listening to his songs.
Later, when William was already half-asleep, someone knocked the door.
''Will, are you awake?'' Sophia asked softly. William just made some vague sound, too tired to actually say anything.
''Can I come in?'' She asked, and William went to open the door reluctantly.
Sophia sat on the bed, looking different than usually, without makeup and wearing a silken nightgown. William followed after her and sat next to her after a moment of hesitation.
''Mom hopes you can understand that sometimes two people, who aren't supposed to love each other, fall in love. I know it isn't ideal, but I want you to try to accept Olle living here with us.'' Sophia began, in all so tender voice.
''Live here with us? Like you're living here with me?'' William mumbled.
''What do you mean?'' His mom asked.
''Can you call it living, when you only came here to sleep a night or two twice a month?'' William snorted. He really wasn't in a good mood, and he felt like taking it out on someone: and well, Sophia just happened to be there.
''Honey, we have talked about this. I need to work so we can afford to live here.'' She replied, in a tone that suggested William was just a child acting silly.
''I know, but.. Do we really need to live in a mansion?'' William asked, feeling like a fool for bringing that up.
''You're not a child anymore, and you don't need me around all the time. You know that work is important for mom.'' She looked apologetic when she brushed William's hair.
Why do I feel like work is more important to you than I have ever been? William thought, but what he said out loud was: ''Okay, mom.''
Sophia got up from the bed and turned to look at her son.
''Is there something else that is bothering you?'' She asked then, but before William could answer, she added: ''Please be nice to Olle, he's trying his best to get to know you. Promise me you'll try.'' As William nodded, she smiled, wished him good night and walked out of the room.
William slumped to lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling a lump in his throat. He had already shut his eyes, when his cellphone beeped again.
''Want me to come speak my mind to him? I'll kick him out in no time.'' William smiled wearily at Aydan's text, and wrote back to him: ''It's ok, I'm fine. Just go to sleep already.''
***
The next time William saw Aydan was at practices on Monday morning. He was on time and in a good mood, even if it was 4.45 am. Unlike William, who had had another dinner with Sophia and Olle on Sunday evening.
It had been the first time William hoped his mom would leave again soon — and take the unwanted guest with her. Instead they had decided to stay for a while longer, just to get William and Olle on good terms.
There was just one big issue about Olle: he clearly had no idea how to be around kids, let alone with teenagers that were on the verge of adulthood.
Most of the time he acted like William was just a child, without real opinions or worldview. He even thought William despised him because he was ''in an age when nothing a parent does is cool or acceptable''.
Another thing was that Olle and Sophia didn't hide their sexual affection to each other in front of William, who was certain he would never be able to forget all those loud, moist kisses he had to witness.
For the aforementioned reasons William spent most of his time in his room, listening to music and trying to think about anything else but those two lovebirds he had to share the house with.
Not so surprisingly that didn't have a positive impact on his mood. William was now feeling not just depressed, but also vexed — and it was the longest weekend he had had in a long while.
It's probably not exaggeration to say that things in William's life weren't going well. William had a feeling it was only going to get worse.
Nevertheless, there was one good thing about Olle. William now had a good excuse for feeling just as grumpy and miserable as he was. No matter what was the real reason behind his misery, there was always someone to blame.
William got to realise that when Aydan had seen his sour face and immediately asked about Olle. It didn't matter that actually William was irked about the fact that Aydan had talked about Claudia nonstop nearly all the way to the practice.
***
Two weeks and four day, that was probably the new record of William's mom staying home at a stretch. William and Olle didn't get on good terms during that time, but Sophia had some mandatory work thing god knows where. Fortunately, Olle left with her.
Never had the empty mansion felt so homely to William, who had already considered packing his things and moving away, if those two didn't leave soon.
It might seem like William was overreacting and that he didn't even give Olle a chance, but he had his reasons and he believed those reasons were big enough to hold on to his antipathy. He simply didn't like Olle and he probably never would, no matter how important it was for his mom.
William was willing to make a compromise, though: if Olle wanted to settle down with Sophia in the mansion, William would simply move away. He was old enough to live alone and the house didn't belong to him, so it would only be fair.
After Olle and Sophia drove away, with their travelling bags, William started to feel better. It was like he could finally breathe freely, and as the irritation eased, the heavy rain cloud seemed to fade away as well.
William's mind was filled with new hope that things with Aydan would work out as well. Unfortunately, he couldn't have been more wrong about that, because their troubles hadn't even properly started yet.