~Tate's Point Of View~
Bo had left for his dinner with Kendyl and her family. I couldn't help but wish he was still here to help me deal with this. Bailee was happy I was home but kept looking at me like I was an asshole. Mama didn't want me leaving her sight. Pa hasn't said a word to me and Bryson is acting like he doesn't give a shit.
I do really feel bad for leaving mama but I had to deal with my own shit. I couldn't handle this at the time. I wanted to get away from everything and forget about it for a while. I went to the bar and drank myself for the first few nights but then I met this chick and her best friend.
The chicks name was Erin and she was gorgeous if you ask me. I was drunk and she had a house with her friend and decided to invite me over. Little did I know her family also lived with them? Her mother was very sweet and knew I was drunk. Her father was actually drunk as well and invited me to watch baseball.
I stayed there until we went off to the trails. Erin let me even sleep with her but she played hard to get. She would let me kiss her. I even got to be on top of her once but she would push me away and tell me, "Alright country boy, don't get too worked up there now." As she patted my chest and giggled. Gosh everything about her made me attracted to her.
I kept thinking about being over there when I got slapped in the back of the head.
"The fuc…." I started to say.
"Watch your mouth Tatum Christopher." Mama said. I looked and she was the one who slapped me.
"Sorry mama. I was dazed." I told her.
"Thinking about Amber?" She asked as she sat next to me. I shook my head no.
"Hell no. That bitch cheated. I know its karma and it's a bitch but no. I was thinking about Erin ma." I said.
"Who is that? Is that Cliffs daughter?" Mama asked. Oh great. She even knew this father.
"Yes." I said. She smiled and leaned over.
"At least this one won't be a whore. Her daddy may be a drunk, but her mama is an angel. Erin is a beautiful girl. You treat her right if you're perusing this." She warned.
"Yes mama. Now what time are you going to Chemo tomorrow? I'm coming too." She looked at me.
"No you go to college." She told me. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Tater." She said angrily knowing what that meant.
"I only have one class left because the other professors dropped me since I haven't been in class." I said fast so she would hardly understand but knowing mama she knew even before I said it.
"Why Tate? You run away, lose your schooling, make us scared shitless, you had Bo looking everywhere for you, your father was even out there when he should be getting ready for his ACM's, and where is your truck?" Mama asked.
"Erin's. I'm not drunk. I can drive it home. I just need a lift there or Erin can get me if she wants." I said.
"Tate, I said other things than your truck son." She crossed her arms.
"I know I was selfish for doing all those things. Fuck school literally. It's not helping me anywhere. I'm sorry I ran away but I was so scared and afraid that I am gonna lose your mama. I can't lose you. The thoughts I had once y'all told me I was devastated and the thoughts were not pleasant because bad news means bad thoughts for me. You know this. I got to think about it and talk with Bo and now, I'm going to be here 100%. I won't leave you mama. I wanna be the strong one for you since you've always been that way for us." I smiled. She teared up and hugged me.
"Oh Tate. Don't ever be scared that I'm leaving cause no matter what I'll always be watching over you, but I'm going to kick cancers ass."
"Yeah you are. You're one hell of a woman." Pa said coming in and sitting in the recliner.
"I already chewed his ear out." Pa nodded.
"What' time is Chemo mama." I asked again.
"8 in the morning sweetheart." I nodded and got up.
"Pa can you and mama take me to Erin's to get my truck?" I asked.
"Are you staying there for a while or dinner with us?" Pa asked.
"Dinner with y'all. I have been away for long enough."I smiled. Pa got up and walked towards the door.
"Let's get going then." He smiled at me.
Pa yelled upstairs to see if Bailee and Bryson wanted to go. Bailee of course said yes while Bryson opened his door, shook his head, and then quickly went back into his room. I shrugged that off and went off to the truck. I sat behind the passenger seat and saw Pa and mama holding hands as he walked her to the passenger side, opened her door for her, helped her in, kissed her then shut the door and got in his side. Bailee had her headphones in her ears as she was humming some tune.
We first went all the way to Erin's. I was hoping she was home so I could get my keys from her room. When we got into the driveway she was there. I got out of the truck hearing Bailee yell that she wanted to ride with me. She stayed by the truck when I knocked on the door. Her father opened the door and engulfed me in a hug.
"Ah Tatum my boy. Ready to drink?" He asked already drunk.
"No sir, I'm here to get my truck. I'm going out with my parents tonight." I said. He looked at my dad's truck and nodded.
"Erin's in her room."
"Thank you." I said going past him and jogging up the steps. I heard that Erin was on the phone.
"Yes Hailee, I have to say I would of but, you know me. I'm not easy….. He is cute….Yes and nice... Jesus do you wanna date him?" She giggled at that. I wonder who she is talking about. "He went back to his parents Hailee. I don't know…" She said and I knocked on her door smirking. "Hold on Hailee." She said and I could hear her light foot steps to the door. When she opened the door she looked surprised seeing me. "I'm gonna call you back." She said and hung up. "Hey Tater. What's up?" She asked moving aside as I walked into her room and went to her nightstand to get my keys.
"Grabbing my keys. I'm going out to dinner with the family. Everything is okay. I gotta be around my mama. She needs strong people around her. She starts chemo tomorrow." I told her as I walked up to her and stood in front of her. I put my hand on her hip as she stared up at me.
"I hope she gets better soon Tater. It's a shame." She frowned.
"Me too. Hey, how about I text you after my mama is done Chemo tomorrow. Maybe this weekend or sometime next week we can get dinner sometime?" I asked. Her eyes lit up.
"I'd love that." She smiled. I leaned down close almost kissing her but not.
"Good. I'll see you later baby doll." I told her kissing her nice before heading away. I looked back from her door way. She had a huge smile on her face. I smiled and walked downstairs.
"Don't forget about coming back to drink one day Tatum!" I heard her father yell.
"I will!" I said leaving and shutting the door. I unlocked my truck and Bailee got in.
We all had a nice dinner. I sat next to mama. She seemed off but I could only imagine what is really going through her head. She is trying to be as strong as she can but once chemo starts I know Pa and I are going to have to be the big backbones for her. Bailee can't because she would be a wreck around ma. Bryson is off doing his own thing and Bo is busy with his music career and Kendyl.
When we got home mama wanted to go to bed. I also went into my room and just lay on my back looking at the ceiling. So many thoughts were going through my head. A lot has happened this past week. I heard the news about my mama. I got drunk so many times. I fucked up my college. I met Erin. I have been staying around her and neglecting my own family but now I'm back.
There is a lot on my plate. I am going to be able to do this. I have to stick around for mama. She has always been like that for us. I'm going to make sure she has everything she needs. Especially when dad has to go to his ACM's. I can't leave my mom hanging. There was a knock on my door taking me from my thoughts. I looked over and my dad poked his head through the door.
"Can I come in?" he asked. I nodded and sat up.
"What's up?" I asked him. He sat on the bed and sighed.
"I'm not here to chew out your ear about this week, or how we both acted last week when you left. I'm gonna talk to you about your mama." He said and looked at me. "She was refusing chemo Tate. She would not do it without you. Like me, she needs you and I to be there as her support system. I can't do it alone. I'm 62. I've worn myself out doing all those shows and I'm not as strong as I use to be. I'm still strong but I need you to help me along the way." He said.
"I planned on helping. I just didn't take the news well. I fucked up because of it and I'm going to make up for it. I can't just let you do this by yourself with ma. You're going to burn yourself out worse if you're the only one helping. I know Bo, Bailee, and Bryson aren't going to be able to as much as they would want. Bo needs to get his shit together and that is what mama was saying earlier. She doesn't want him to lose out on his dream just because of this. Bailee and Bryson need to worry about high school. You and I can do this." I told him. He put his hand on my back.
"I know we can, it's just going to be really hard. We will probably fight more, but we're going to have to refrain from it. Especially around your mother. She can't deal with us doing that. I also know at times you and I are going to have pissing contests. We are going to have to stop doing that. For your mother."
"I'm going to try my hardest especially now." I told him knowing that this is going to be a huge problem for us.
"Me too. I'm dreading this chemo. Did you read up on it at all?" He asked. I shook my head no. "You're mama's gonna loose her hair, she's going to be very sick and in pain. She's going to lose some color in her skin. She won't be so lively or able to do much." He started to break down. He put his head in his hands. "She won't be herself for a while Tate." I instinctively hugged him which he hugged me back. I now had the picture of my sick mother in my head. I started to cry along with him.
"It'll all be better in the end Papa. She'll get through this, and we will get her healthy and happy all over again." I cried to him. "Mama is stronger than anyone. She can do this. She'll kick cancers ass." I told him.
"I know she will. Just seeing her having to go through this and I can't do nothing but watch and be there for her. Its heart retching. One day, you'll find a woman that you're beyond in love with. She will be a woman you view as the most beautiful, smartest, and most talented, most amazing thing you've ever laid eyes on. And when you find her, you'll do anything in your power to keep her. She will be the only thing that will ever give you the world in return for just loving her. She'll give you wonderful children. She'll make you chase your dreams. She'll be there in the best and worst of times. Your grandfather, which is your mother's father, once told me. "I don't care if you're the poorest man in the world, or the richest man who can buy her the world, make sure she does her dream and give your heart and soul and she'll give you more in return. I have lived by that and that kept us stronger every day." He smiled and patted his legs then got up.
"How do you know that Grandpa Daniel's told you that? Didn't he die before you ever met mama?" I asked.
"Yes son. A letter told me. Remember what your mama would read to all four of you kids?" I nodded. "That was a letter from Grandpa Daniel's." He told me.
"He wrote letters before he died?" Pa nodded.
"Well, I'm going to go to sleep. I'm gonna wake you up when we get up so you're ready to go with us okay?" I smiled.
"Yeah Pa. Goodnight. Love you." I told him. He smiled.
"Love you too son. Goodnight."
My father and I never really had talks like that before. It was actually great. He and I use to butt heads all the time while he was always close to Bailee and Bo. This was something I think both of us needed. I don't think it's going to be that bad between us especially that both of us is set out to make mama the happiest we can get her to be during this hard time.
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- Pup