Levi woke up with a slight headache. He was not drunk, yet he felt hot, and as he swallowed, his throat ached. At least he was not on yet another cot. It felt like that was all he had slept on for a year: floors and cots.
A bed. A nice smell. Food? Someone was touching his head, a gentleness he only vaguely remembered from his mother.
His eyes struggled open, and teal blue eyes were gazing down at him with a soft smile. Levi felt a moment of confusion, followed by sinking relief.
That was right. He returned to Eren. As foolish as it might be, he felt safe by the young lieutenant's side.
"Good morning," Eren whispered. "Did you sleep well?"
"To be honest, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold."
"Then you need something warm. Food is here. I remembered the tea this time."
"Tea?" Levi said, now truly intrigued. He sat up and saw that, indeed, a breakfast cart had been rolled into the room—Eren was dressed, so he guessed Eren greeted the bellhop outside the door, so he could roll it in quietly and not wake Levi. On it were two plates of food, a kettle, and a teapot.
Eren twisted his hands together eagerly. "I actually got tea for us the day you ... no, never mind," he muttered.
Levi flinched inside. Had Eren really ordered tea that fateful, rainy morning? And then he left without a word. It must have broken his heart.
"Anyway," Eren said, laughing to shove past that old pain. "I thought maybe you could show me how to brew it."
Levi shook his head. This brat! "Fine. Let me clean up first."
He got out of bed, used the bathroom, washed up a little, and came back out to sit at the table. He picked up a tin, opened the lid, and saw tea leaves inside. He sniffed them and frowned slightly. What did he expect of the Germans! Still, it was better than nothing.
Rather than eat right away, Eren watched Levi as he measured out tea leaves into a teapot. Levi paused at realizing those teal eyes were focused intensely on him.
"How do you know how much to use?"
Levi shrugged and figured he might as well explain the whole process. "This teapot looks like it holds four cups. As I learned it, one teaspoon for each cup and one for the pot." He put in another spoonful. "That's four, and five." He dropped one last spoonful in. "Now, that's for black tea in particular. There are herbal teas, green tea, white tea. Good luck finding those around here. It also depends on the size of the tea leaves, if they're tiny or large. It takes some practice to get just the right measurement. I don't know how good these leaves are, so I'm going with a basic brew."
"It already sounds hard."
"It's not, really. I'm just picky." He touched the side of the kettle and frowned. He poured some water into a cup and tasted it. "Damn. The water has cooled down too much. It'll make shitty tea."
"Oh! I can heat it on my stove." Eren leaped up and pulled the Esbit stove out of his bag. He set it up on the breakfast cart, lit a fuel tab, and got the fire going. He then put the copper kettle on top of the tiny stove.
"Ideally, you want it piping hot."
"Piping?" Eren asked in confusion.
"Just starting to boil."
"Ah. Kochend heißes Wasser."
"Sure," Levi grumbled. They waited for the water to heat up. "So..." Levi glanced over awkwardly. "You got tea last time, huh? The day I left?"
Eren's face drew up, hating even the memory of that day.
Levi saw the pain on his face. Slowly, his hand crept forward, and his fingers slid on top of Eren's hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I still feel that leaving was the right decision, but I should have told you. I shouldn't have left without any warning. For that, I'm sorry."
Eren's eyes began to burn as he looked at the kettle. "Don't do that again."
"You know I can't promise. If an opportunity comes and you're not around, if I have to leave right away, if I have one shot to get out of here and there's no time to tell you, I'm going to leave. I will do what I must to survive. You know that's the right choice."
"But if you can tell me ... don't run off on me." He began to choke on tears he struggled to hold back. "Don't leave just because you're ... you're angry at me." A tear slipped down, and Eren slapped it away in shame.
"Eren..."
He took a breath, but it shivered as more tears fell. Levi yanked his chair over and hugged Eren, pulling him down into his shoulder to smother his tears. "Chut, chut," he hushed, gently petting Eren's head. "I'm sorry I did that to you. I wasn't angry."
"I forced my way into the bathtub, and I got you stuck in the wardrobe, and then I was drunk, and then I really wanted to kiss you and you didn't want it and I pushed you into letting me and..."
"Eren," he whispered, grabbing him possessively. "Don't think that. I wasn't angry at you."
"I went too far."
"No, it's okay. If anything, I'm the one who lost control, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't leave because I was angry." He let out a sigh and confessed, "I left because I was scared. I was scared for you and for my own safety. It all swelled up on me and ... I had to get out." It was hard for Levi to admit that, but he knew Eren needed the truth. "I was never angry."
"But you left everything."
"I didn't want you to get into trouble. If I'm caught, I'll likely just be deported, barely any work for the Gestapo. However, if I have German equipment on me, then there could be an investigation. The Gestapo will start to ask around, who is missing a stove, who is missing a torch? It could be traced back to you, and that's the last thing I want. I had to sever all connection to you, because no matter what happens to me, I don't want you to get into trouble." He grabbed both of Eren's cheeks and pulled his face up. "I care for you too much, and I am not going to let that happen."
Those words made Eren's face heat up. Levi's thumb wiped away the tears, and his hand rested on Eren's cheek.
"If I have to leave, I will let you know that I'm safe. Remember what we said before. I'll send a telegram with the word Brooklyn."
"That's too suspicious," whispered Eren. "If my telegrams are inspected and it's an American city, there will be questions. You said you can memorize anything written down, even in a language you don't speak."
"To a degree."
"Just one sentence. Something between us." Eren grabbed a notebook and his fountain pen. He wrote down a single sentence and shoved the paper over to Levi. "Memorize it. Send that to me wherever you are, as often as you can, to let me know you're still safe."
Levi looked at the phrase. Der Tee ist heiß. "What does it mean?"
Eren smiled and gave Levi a kiss on the cheek. "The tea is hot."
Levi had to laugh at that. Just then they heard the kettle starting to bubble. Levi pulled back, breaking the moment. Eren sniffled back the last of his tears and wiped his cheeks dry.
Levi tried to focus as he poured hot water from the kettle into the stout teapot, drenching the tea leaves.
"You don't want it at a full boil, that's too hot. You just want a few bubbles. How long you let the tea steep depends on the leaves. This is black tea, so you want to let it steep for five full minutes."
"Wait, wait. Steep?"
"Not steep like a hill. Steep like to brew."
"Ah! Brauen tee."
"Not brown tea. It's black tea, idiot."
"I mean the word for brew. Brauen."
Levi shook his head. "Whatever. Now, this teapot has an infuser. See?" he said, pointing to a mesh basket inside the pot. "That makes cleanup easier. We make sure the water is high enough to cover the leaves." He poured just a little more in. "Now we wait five minutes. Too soon and the tea is weak; too long and the tea turns bitter."
Eren slid up close to Levi. "I can think of ways to pass the time."
Levi slipped away, shaking his head with a smirk. "If you distract me like that, it may brew for too long and be ruined."
"Just a kiss?" Eren asked, gazing at Levi's lips.
"It's never just a kiss with you," Levi mumbled.
Yet when Eren softly touched Levi's chin, his face immediately turned up, eager and willing with softened lips. Their lips lingered together, and Levi felt Eren's arms wrap around him. The gentle kiss was just what he needed. It reminded him to savor the moments, to let their love brew without rushing into things.
Finally, Levi pulled away, a little blush on his cheeks. "Time's up."
"That couldn't have been five minutes."
"No, but I know by the time I convince you to let me go, a minute will go by."
Eren's arms tightened on him. "Not my fault that you're good to hold."
Levi scoffed, yet when Eren leaned in again, Levi tilted his head up for another kiss. His heart fluttered with warmth, and although he knew he needed to finish the tea ... well, one more minute wouldn't hurt!
When he again tried to pull back, Eren released him, but he smiled at the embarrassment in Levi's cheeks.
"Anyway," Levi said, clearing his throat. "Take the tea leaves out of the pot." He pulled the mesh basket out of the teapot, shook it to get all the liquid out, and set it aside on a saucer. "Use a little plain hot water from the kettle and pour it into the teacup. Go on."
Eren took the copper kettle and poured the water in. Levi did the same.
"Swirl it around. You want to warm up the cup and clean out any dust that may have gotten into it. Then toss the water into the sink."
They both got up to dump the hot water aside.
"Now we can go ahead and pour the tea." He carefully tipped the teapot, measuring it out into a cup. "Do you like cream and sugar?"
"I don't know if I've ever had cream in my tea."
"Then I get to treat you to something new." Levi scooped a spoonful of sugar into the cup, a dash of cream, and stirred it. Then he handed the cup and saucer to Eren. "There! Try that."
Eren looked at the milky tea. It was familiar...
A cold shiver prickled Eren's arms. He lifted the teacup, hoping the steaming heat would soothe the chills, and took a sip. He paused and stared off.
Levi poured out tea for himself, mixed in cream and sugar, and took a sip. Perfection! He still knew how to make a good cup of tea.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
Eren jolted out of far-off thoughts. "Yes, it's very good." He took another sip. "Although, it's familiar." He had tasted this before. Where? Suddenly, a tall man with a narrow face and his eyes obscured by the glint of glasses came to his mind. "Mein Vater ... My father ... he put milk in his tea."
The image flickered through his head like an old silent film, watching his father at breakfast, stirring sugar and milk into his cup of tea. His mother smiled as she urged everyone to eat. Eren happily devoured Speckpfannkuchen, Feldsalat from their yard, and hard-boiled eggs from one of his father's patients who raised chickens. His father sipped his tea as he read a newspaper.
They were such simple times in Eren's mind, although he had wondered why his father's face looked so severe as he read stories in the news. Everyone else said the new Chancellor, Adolf Hitler, was doing great things to help the German economy, yet his father began to look anguished. Especially in the years leading up to his father's disappearance, the tea did not relax the pinched furrow in his brow at news of Hitler's rise from Party Leader, to Chancellor, to Führer.
Levi saw the far-off gaze from Eren. He knew the feeling, the bittersweet nostalgia of tasting something from a better time.
Eren pulled away from those memories. "It really is good." Yet he stared into his cup with a conflicted smile. "I remember now, my father would drink this every morning. I can still remember the smell." He took a sniff, followed by another sip. "It wasn't exactly like this, though. It was ... I think he called it Earl Grey."
"It's a type of British tea," Levi pointed out. "It's really good."
Eren watched Levi with a gentle smile. He tried to imagine Levi like that, sitting at the table with a newspaper and a cup of tea, just like his father, grumbling about politics. He could almost picture it, but then he saw himself bringing out a plate of sausage, eggs, and pancakes. The mere idea of it made Eren's face burn with embarrassment.
"What are you blushing over?" Levi grumbled.
"Nothing," he whispered, feeling bashful for daydreaming about such domestic bliss. He took another sip and finished off the dainty cup. "I can see why my father liked it. Is there more?"
"Of course." Levi poured him another cup, and they set about eating breakfast together.
As they ate, both sneaked glances. When Eren realized Levi was looking at him, he dunked his head down. The bashfulness made Levi start to blush as well.
What a child!
Yet Levi realized with a sense of humbleness, he was, in a sense, Eren's first love. He almost felt like some aging man like him, already in the middle of his life, should not be the one some handsome young man falls for.
Then again, his mind first thought that Eren should fall for a young woman. That would never happen. He had even married some decent enough young lady, yet he had no interest.
Eren only had eyes for him, and that was an honor Levi still felt like he did not deserve.
He was in those thoughts when the telephone rang. Suddenly, Levi was thrown back to a cramped room, a red phone clanging, garbled screaming on the other end...
"C'est la Gestapo. Fuyez, sauvez vos vies!"
Eren rushed to answer the telephone while Levi cringed down, thrown back to some nightmare. The sooner that ringing stopped, the sooner the nightmare went away, so Eren dived for the phone.
"Hallo, ich bin Oberleutnant Eren Jäger. Ja, ich bleibe dran. Hallo, Hauptmann. Was ist das? Panzergrenadiere? Wo waren sie stationiert? Wann wurden sie gesichtet?" Hello, I'm First Lieutenant Eren Jäger. Yes, I will hold. Hello, Captain. What is this? Panzergrenadiers? Where were they stationed? When were they spotted?
Levi wearily pulled himself out of the flashback and seethed in frustration. Was he going to have a problem with the sound of a telephone for the rest of his life? How annoying! Meanwhile, he saw Eren's face turning stern. Levi shook the last of the dark visions out of his head and quietly stepped forward. Eren was focused on what was being said.
"Wird mein Zug entsandt? Ich verstehe. Ja, ich komme sofort. Heil Hitler." Will my platoon be dispatched? I understand. Yes, I'll be right there.
Eren hung up the telephone and glared straight ahead, his jaw tight.
"Did anything happen?" Levi asked in concern.
"A report that some Panzergrenadiere met with American troops. It's probably nothing, but it means they're getting close. Woermann called a meeting of the officers."
"Be careful out there."
"Ja. You as well. I'll lower the ladder for you."
Eren stood on the chair, opened the attic hatch, attached the rope ladder to the hooks in the floorboards, but slowly closed the hatch, letting it sit on top of the knotted ropes.
"Da! Now you can climb if you need to, or you can stay in my room for as long as you want. You said you feel like you're getting a cold, so..." Eren dug into his duffel bag, pulled out a medical kit, and selected a bottle of pills. "It's paracetamol. Do you know what that is?"
"It's the same word in English." Levi took the bottle and right away took two pills.
"If it gets cold, you can turn up the Heizkörper."
"The what?"
Eren walked over to the metal pipes spreading heat through the room. "This."
"Radiator. I know how to work one. There were many in London, always so cold and rainy there."
Eren turned to Levi, and his face showed deep regret. "Do you need anything else? Do you have a fever? Maybe I should check your throat."
"I'm fine. A headache, maybe a little fevered. I have food, drink, and a book to read. I'll rest in bed."
"Yes, rest." Eren stepped up to Levi and began to play through his hair. "I wish I could stay here and care for you."
Levi rolled his eyes. "Go on, before that bug-eyed captain comes here himself."
Eren gave Levi a goodbye kiss and began to head to the door.
Levi shook his head. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Eren froze and spun around.
Levi nodded to the nightstand. "Your wedding ring. You should wear it."
Eren looked at the gold ring sitting on the tiny table and sneered in disgust. That face cheered up Levi. Just knowing that the marriage was that disgusting to Eren calmed any lingering jealousy.
Dragging his feet, Eren went back and shoved the gold ring onto his finger. Levi stood up, walked over to him, tugged on his scowling face, and gave him a kiss.
"It's merely part of your disguise now," Levi assured him.
"I hate it already."
Levi picked up Eren's hand. "Did she ever kiss your ring?"
"Huh? No," Eren said, confused by the idea.
Levi lifted Eren's hand to his lips and kissed the gold band. "My kiss is now on your ring." He flipped Eren's hand over, palm up, and kissed the ring again on the inside. "Now, every time you close your hand, you're holding my kiss."
Eren's cheeks flushed, and he nervously laughed it off. "That sounds like something you tell a child."
"You are a child," he teased. Levi folded Eren's fingers down. "Hold on to my kiss."
He laughed again, turning even brighter red. "What is with you today?"
"It's Rosh Hashanah. It's a good day."
"Is it still Rosh Hashanah?"
"It starts at sunset and lasts until the next sunset."
"Then I'll try to be back before it's dark."
Eren leaned in for one last kiss, and his lips lingered. He lightly captured Levi's lower lip, teasing it, but Levi refused to open his mouth. He knew where things would go if he did.
Eren pulled back, smiling knowingly. Levi did not trust him, and maybe he had a reason. The temptation to pin Levi to the wall and yank off his shirt was strong.
Eren forced himself to pull back, stiffened up, and composed himself. The flush in his cheeks faded as he mentally prepared to go back out into this city-fortress that was standing ready for battle.
"Hide in the bathroom so no one sees you while I leave."
Levi went into the bathroom and listened. When Eren opened the door, he immediately called out to some other soldier. Then the door shut, and Levi heard it lock. He waited a few minutes longer before creeping out.
He went around to check on the wet clothes from last night. Although his shirt was dry, the trousers were damp. He moved all of it over near the radiator so the heat would help them to dry quicker. If he had to leave this room in a hurry, he would rather be fully dressed and not in Eren's underclothes.
* * *
Eren spent the morning in a meeting, listening to reports, some still freshly coming in from the north and south. He had been trying to not think about the war all weekend, first dealing with what to do about Louise, ending up marrying her, taking her back home, and now his mind was overwhelmed with the joy of having Levi back. All of that bliss faded like a dream as he looked at maps and observed the movements of the enemies.
"Jäger."
He raised his head from a terrain map and saw Kitz Woermann's sunken eyes looking at him.
"Are you able to focus?" he asked sternly.
"Of course, captain."
"I know you must have a lot on your mind. My wife is often on my mind, and I haven't even seen her in three years. My recommendation: get your wife out of this city as quickly as possible. The sooner she's not around as a distraction, the sooner you can focus fully on the war."
"My focus is clear, sir," he insisted, "but I will take your recommendation to heart."
He was glad the other officers were not around. Eren realized, different people on the Lieutenant's Floor now believed different stories. He had told Oliver that Louise was already gone, yet last night he told Ian Dietrich and Gunther Schultz that Louise was in his room. Meanwhile, the real danger was that Jean Kirschtein knew the truth. He trusted Jean not to say anything that would get him in trouble, but if his lies were found out, his former NCO had no obligation to lie on his behalf.
He would have to consolidate the story somehow, and quickly, before the disparate sides clashed and the lie became known.
Luckily, the meeting let out. While some of the other officers were heading to the beer hall, Eren said he was going to buy something for his wife. He strolled through the narrow streets of Metz. Not many shops were open, but finally he found a little place filled to the ceiling with shelves, and most importantly, a stand with freshly picked apples.
"Wie viel für die Äpfel?" How much for the apples?
The shopkeeper looked mildly horrified and whispered, "Je suis désolé, monsieur. Je ne parle pas allemand." I'm sorry, sir. I do not speak German.
Eren sighed. He really should learn French. "Äpfel." He held up a few apples. Then a French word he remembered from the brief language lessons with Levi over the summer. "Combien?" How much? Eren pulled out some money and decided to trust the shopkeeper to show by pointing out just how much the apples were. "Hast du Honig?" Do you have honey?
Again, mild dread came to the man's narrow face.
Eren sighed in frustration by his own limitations. "I don't know the word for it."
"Oh! English!" the man cried out.
Eren arched an eyebrow. "Do you speak English?"
"A little, yes."
Now Eren had to remember what Levi called this. He had mentioned the word, and it was close to German. What was it again? "Do you have honey?"
"Honey! Oui, I have honey." He rushed over to a side shelf and came back with a glass jar full of golden yellow stickiness. "Yes?" he asked eagerly, just to make sure they understood each other.
"Yes, thank you," said Eren.
"You are welcome," he said in stilted words. Now the fear in the man was gone, and the bright smile of a storekeeper greeting his customer was back.
While his goods were being wrapped, Eren wandered around the tiny store. Up high on a shelf, he saw a metal tin with familiar words from that morning.
"Earl Grey," he whispered. He reached up high, had to tiptoe, and his fingers just barely managed to grab the tin. "This too!"
The shopkeeper looked up, saw the tea, and his whole face flinched. "That too? Uh, yes, monsieur." He took the tin and quickly wrapped it up, shoving them all into a paper bag.
Eren paid for the apples, honey, and tea. Then he carried the bag of groceries back to his hotel. He could have called for a ride from Floch, especially with the drizzle misting his face, but it felt good to walk. His leg was feeling a lot better now, and a swift stroll sounded like a nice idea to keep his strength up. He lit up a cigarette as he marched through the streets.
It was still an hour before sunset when Eren came back to his hotel room. He felt good, especially because those annoying stairs were getting easier to climb. He still had to stop halfway up to rub out a spasm in his leg, but it was far less painful than just a few days ago.
Maybe all the rest truly helped.
He opened up the door, and as soon as he walked in, he realized one massive issue.
The ladder up to the attic was totally noticeable. He would have to do something about that.
He locked the door behind him and called out, "Liebling, ich bin zurück." Darling, I'm back.
He looked around, peeked under the bed, checked the closet, but he did not see anyone there. No way would Levi have left the ladder down if he went up into the attic.
Then he heard the toilet flush. Eren went to the bathroom and heard the sink running. A minute later, the door opened, and with it came a puff of stench.
"Whew! That's quite a smell."
Levi growled. "You caught me just as I was taking a shit. Have you ever had to clench off a turd?"
"A what?"
"Never mind."
"I came back as soon as I could," Eren protested. "How was I to know you were taking a shit?"
Levi glanced at the bag. "What the hell is that?"
Eren grinned, brought the bag to the table and began to open it. Levi saw he had bought many apples, a jar of honey, and proudly Eren pulled out the tea tin.
"See? Earl Grey, like what my father used to drink. Now you can have good tea."
Levi looked around at the new items. While Eren looked especially proud of the tea, Levi's eyes were on the bright red fruits. "You ... You bought ... apples and honey? For today?" His eyes slammed shut. No! No way was Eren this foolish. "Please tell me you bought them from different stores."
"Uh, well, no..."
"You bought them from the same store?" Levi cried out, straining to keep his voice down.
Eren set the tea tin down, concerned by the anguish in Levi's face. He thought getting these things would cheer him up. "Why?"
Levi seethed in rage he could not express. "This is Rosh Hashanah," he reminded, shivering at just how angry he was. "Any Jew would want apples and honey on this day. It's like you're screaming out to everyone that you're celebrating a Jewish holiday. You could have bought the apples in one store and the honey in another, and maybe no one would catch on, but in the same place?" Levi turned harshly away, clenching all of his muscles to hold back his rage. "If I could scream and half the building not realize I'm here, I would be cussing you out for being so damn stupid!"
"What do you mean?"
"Gestapo, you beheyme."
Just then, there was a heavy knock on the door. Levi turned, his face already turning white, shaking his head and silently mouthing "No!" Only once before had Eren seen Levi express true terror, just after Moses was shot. Now he looked just as terrified.
"Up into the attic," Eren whispered, barely a breath. He threw the apples and honey back into the bag. "Take these."
"Idiot! They already know you bought it. Hiding it will make it worse." Levi grabbed his bag from under Eren's bed and scrambled to the rope ladder.
There was another knock. "Oberleutnant Eren Jäger? Gestapo, machen Sie bitte auf. Wir müssen reden." First Lieutenant Eren Jäger? Gestapo, open up please. We need to talk.
Eren shouted to the door. "Eine Sekunde, ich bin im Badezimmer." Just a second, I'm in the bathroom.
Levi reached the attic, yanked the rope ladder up, but he paused to look down at Eren.
Such a foolish, foolish boy! Now Levi could not keep him safe, not without risking him even more. The best Levi could do was make all trace of his existence disappear and hope Eren's years of lying about his sexuality could be useful in lying now.
"I'm going to take off for a while," he whispered, and his face cringed. "For God's sake, please don't get in trouble."
Eren was about to ask for a goodbye kiss, but Levi lowered the hatch, being as quick and quiet as possible. Eren looked at the apples.
He had not thought that the Gestapo watched people that closely, even to what items they bought at some small store.
He went into the bathroom, flushed the toilet to play along with his claim, washed his hands, and finally, looking as calm as possible, opened the door. A young man stood there, tall, blond, with piercing blue eyes, wearing a gray SS uniform with police-pattern shoulderboards.
"Wait," Eren said, recognizing the man. "We've met before."
"Yes, I remember you. My little brother Falco asked me to help you out a while back. Kriminalassistent Colt Grice." His heels clicked, and he shot out a salute. "Heil Hitler."
"Heil Hitler. Good to meet you again, Detective. How can I help you?"
"Actually, I need to look around your room. May I enter?"
"Yes, of course," Eren said, rushing out of the way. "Is something wrong?"
"Just following up on a random lead." He stepped inside and looked around. He opened the closet, ruffled through the uniforms hanging up, and glanced under the bed. "Your records show you recently got married. Is your wife here?"
"No, she's with her parents in the countryside. She's pregnant, so I thought it was safer."
"Pregnant? Congratulations." He paused at the table. "Did you buy these apples today?"
"Yes, just now."
"And the honey?" Colt asked sharply, picking up the glass jar and turning it around.
"I wanted to sweeten my tea. As you can see, I bought a tin of tea leaves."
Colt set the honey jar aside and picked up the metal tin. "Earl Gray? Isn't that a British tea? Why would you buy a British tea?"
Eren laughed and rolled his eyes. "Can you name a single good German tea? I used to drink Earl Grey as a child. I happened to see that the store sold it and thought I'd have a little taste from childhood. I swear, I didn't mean anything by it. It's not some protest against Germany or Hitler; I am loyal to the Fatherland. I just wanted a good cup of tea."
"The tea isn't really the issue, although how that shopkeeper got this is unsettling. I'll have to make a report."
"A report? For buying tea?"
"For selling contraband British goods. It means that the shopkeeper has connections with the Allies, and that makes him suspicious."
"My God! Am I going to get into trouble?" Eren asked, honestly stunned he could get in trouble for that.
"No. I will say nothing about the tea for now. I wouldn't have that sitting out in the open, though. Tell me," Colt said, setting the tin down and turning to face Eren. "Why did you buy apples and honey?"
All fears were sharply pushed down and stayed off his face. Eren merely shrugged in a casual way. "I like apples. Is that a problem? Are we rationing fruits?"
"Is there any reason you bought apples and honey?"
Eren continued to look confused. "The apples looked fresh, then I saw the tea, I wanted to sweeten it, and ... well, to be honest, I didn't feel like keeping sugar around this room. I could end up with ants or mice. Honey stores better, and it disinfects wounds. It's useful even on the battlefield."
"That's your reason?"
Eren again shrugged. "I'm sorry, Detective. Is there a problem with my purchase?"
"No, it's the combination, the apples and the honey, that..." His voice trailed off, and Colt removed his cap to run his hand through his hair. "This is ridiculous," he grumbled. "You see, today is a Jewish holiday. These Jews, I guess they dip the apples in the honey. It's part of a ceremony. So buying those two items on this day of all days..."
"No, no, I understand," Eren said right away. "The Gestapo must be vigilant for all enemies of Germany."
"Right. On this day, we particularly keep tabs on sales of apples and honey. To see it being bought together ... it raised a red flag, which means I have to check it out."
"Shit!" Eren whispered. "I had no idea. I swear, I didn't mean anything."
"Could it have been something you learned? Did anyone suggest to you that apples and honey would be good, anyone who seemed particularly interested in where to buy those items?"
"No, Detective."
"You said the tea was a memory from childhood. Is this perhaps something a relative of yours did, a childhood friend, a subconscious thought hinting at someone you once knew who was a Jew?"
"No. My family were all Lutherans. I will help in any way, but I swear, I meant nothing by this purchase."
"I know," Colt said, sighing wearily. "Apples are in season, and honey ... well, sugar is getting rarer to find. Besides, if you were a Jew, there's no way you would buy those two items so brazenly open, and in the same shop. Still, I have to go check it out, because the Criminal Director is paranoid of his own shadow."
"You look overworked," Eren said, oozing empathy.
Colt groaned, "You have no idea."
"Please, come sit. I'll make you some tea," Eren said, grinning brightly.
"Thank you." Colt slumped onto Eren's chair.
Eren moved around, but luckily Levi had cleaned the teapot from that morning. He started up his tiny stove, set a kettle of water on, and sat across from Colt. Eren pulled out his cigarettes and offered one over. "Smoke?"
"No thanks. You can, if you want." He watched Eren light up. "Completely random, huh?"
"I had tea this morning; you can probably check with the concierge. To be honest, it was crap," he said with a soft laugh. "That made me think of the tea I had as a child. I wanted that taste again."
Colt smiled nostalgically. "Everything before the war tasted better. So, have you been in Metz long?"
"No. In fact, the day I met you was our first day here."
"Ah, that's right. I remember I was driving home newcomers to the city. So, let me guess where you're from. I'm usually pretty good. Say, 'I told my wife to make ten pepper sausages.'"
"What?" Eren asked, confused by the phrase.
"It's something I use to guess birthplaces based on dialects. You're struggling to speak High German, and that North Low Saxon dialect is very clear at times."
Eren shrugged. "Ich sagte meiner Weif ... Weib, sie solle tien ... uh, zehn Peper- ... Pep- ... Pfep- ... Pfefferwürstchen maken. I mean, machen." Eren laughed, stunned as he heard the dialect in his own speech. "That's a lot harder to say when I'm trying to say it in High German."
"That's the thing about dialects. They slip by and we don't always hear it. So, based on that, I would say ... hmm, I would almost say Hamburg, but that's not it. Bremen? No, more coastal. Bremerhaven."
"Wow!" Eren cried out. "That's close. Bremerhaven is the next town over. I was born in Cuxhaven."
Colt excitedly pointed a finger. "That would have been my next guess. That Hamburg dialect that slips in there threw me off."
"I was raised in Hamburg since I was ten."
Colt snapped his fingers. "I knew it! People who move around are harder to guess."
"That's still amazing."
"It's something you need to learn in this line of work. You meet a lot of people who try to speak German, but you can tell right away, they learned it somewhere else. Or even worse here in Metz are all the Alsatians who are fluent in German, but my God, that dialect is all over the place."
"I came across an Alsatian here just a few days ago."
Colt's brow tensed. "Did you? Tall? Blond? When?"
Eren realized instantly, casually bringing up Yelena had been foolish. Now he had to talk his way out of this as well. He shrugged. "Yes, a very tall man, I believe he was blond. This was two or three days ago."
"Did you happen to get a good look?"
"I sure did. He was very rude. Is he wanted? I would happily help to bring him in."
Colt loosened out of the tension. "There's one. We don't know his real name, but the Resistance calls him Mi-homme."
"Resistance? Here in Metz, even now?"
"They were very active before Magath arrived."
"Magath?" That name was familiar. Eren had just heard it from somewhere.
"He's the new Kriminaldirektor in Metz. Theo Magath."
Eren suddenly recalled, Yelena had talked about him. The whole reason she could not get Louise and Levi out of Metz was the new criminal director terrifying the citizens into obedience.
"He's supposed to be the best-of-the-best," Colt said, looking proud. "He scared the citizens straight, and the Resistance fell apart. Then this Mi-homme showed up, and the citizens have been reporting more Resistance coming to them, more activity in the past month than in the past year combined. They're refusing to aid these traitors now, too scared of Magath, but especially over the past few days, the Resistance has grown bold, more violent, like Mi-homme recruited someone fierce and fearless, an assassin more than a guerrilla fighter."
Eren was glad he was wearing long sleeves, because he felt the hairs on his arms sticking up. Levi! He had to mean Levi! Were the Gestapo really that worried? Just what had he been doing over those few days he had been with the Resistance? He made it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal.
Just then, the kettle began to whistle, jolting Eren out of his dark fears. He took the kettle off the Esbit stove and silently cursed. Levi had said the water should be a low boil, not bubbling until the kettle whistled. He opened the tea tin and tried to remember how many scoops of tea leaves Levi had used. Four? No, five. Then again, these were nicer tea leaves. Levi made it seem like there were a lot of details for making a good cup.
Eren just hoped it turned out okay. He was doing his best to form some kind of connection with this Gestapo detective so he would seem to be even less suspicious, and he feared that bringing up his brush with Yelena managed to have the opposite effect. He scooped in the tea leaves, poured in the water, and let it steep.
"I'll bring a picture of that Alsatian man to you," said Colt. "If you see him again, we are to kill or capture him on sight. Capture is preferable. Magath wants to interrogate him. However, if he has an assassin on his team, capturing might not be so easy."
The last thing Eren wanted was to have Colt randomly show up at his hotel room again. "Tell you what. You're overworked, so I'll walk down to your headquarters tomorrow morning. If it's the same man I met, I'll report every detail of our encounter. If it's not the same man, I'd still like to see him arrested for being so rude to me."
Colt looked honestly relieved at even a small lessening of his work. "If you can help to bring in a Resistance leader, it would definitely help all of Germany. Maybe we'll give you all of that contraband British tea," he teased, and Eren laughed with him.
"So, where are you from?" he asked Colt. "You have a Swabian dialect."
"Yeah. Swabians: we can do anything except speak High German. I was born and raised in Stuttgart."
"What brought you to Metz?"
"Same as you. The war, my job, superiors pointing a finger and saying 'You go there now.' I joined the police thinking it would be safer than being a soldier and I could take care of my little brother. Now I'm in a war zone, and he's here too." Colt looked pained at the fear of his little brother being sent to fight.
"You must really love him."
"Of course! Our parents died six year ago, so I've been raising my little brother, or at least trying my best. I decided to join the police rather than the military, that way I could keep my little brother near me. I originally wanted to be part of Kripo."
"Criminal police? That sounds exciting."
"Yes, I thought being a detective would pay well enough for me to take care of little Falco..." He laughed as he confessed, "No, honestly, I thought it would get me girls."
Eren laughed along with him.
"Somehow, I got shifted around and ended up in the Gestapo. They were understaffed, I was flexible, and I liked the higher pay. Then I got transferred to Metz and brought Falco with me. Luckily he's been making friends."
"I think I met her that day. Brown-haired girl, a bit of a loudmouth."
Colt burst out a laugh. "Yeah, Gabi is a spitfire, but her parents were one of the first in Metz to display the national flag outside their home and the loudest supporters of Hitler. Falco needs someone outgoing. I admit shamefully, I sheltered him. He needs to get stronger. Right now, he misses home, and Gabi is a way to keep him happy while he's here."
"Girls do that for boys," Eren said with a devious chuckle.
Colt blushed, both proud and worried like a doting parent that his baby brother was chasing after girls already. "Part of me keeps hoping ... not out of cowardice," he defended preemptively, "but I don't want to fight in the upcoming battle, and I don't want Falco anywhere near it." His brow deeply furrowed. "I hope the Gestapo gets pulled back to Germany before the Allies arrive. The last thing I want is for Falco to be sent onto a battlefield."
"He's just a child!"
"He's a student at the Fahnenjunkerschule, and those kids have been used in battles before. They're talking about using him in anti-aircraft." Colt shook his head, glaring off with turmoil in his pale blue eyes. "I understand that we need every man we can get, but ... I don't want that for him."
"The battlefield is no place for a child," Eren said darkly, thinking about the horrors he had witnessed already.
"Don't get the wrong impression. I honor the military. Someone like you, an officer, dedicating your whole life to defending the Fatherland ... it's quite a noble thing," he said, looking truly honored just to sit here next to Eren.
"Thank you," Eren said politely. "I will fight harder to make sure little children are never used in war."
Eren took the break in talking to pour out the tea, mixed in the honey he had just bought—might as well use it to prove the honey was meant for the tea—and handed a cup to Colt. The sight of the cup pulled Colt out of his worries. He took a sip but pulled back with a sour face.
"It's weird with the honey."
Eren drank and had to agree, it was very weird, and the tea was extremely strong. What had he done wrong? He managed to keep from flinching. "Is it strange? It's how my father made his tea," he lied.
"Maybe it's a northern thing," Colt mumbled, and he drank some more. "It's not bad, just very sweet. Well, I won't turn down a free drink," he said decisively.
"So, has the Gestapo been busy in Metz?"
"You have no idea," Colt groaned. "Paperwork! No one told me just how much paperwork was involved. I started off in Department A: Political Opponents. I actually liked that. Dealing with sabotage, reactionaries, liberals, communists, any opposition to National Socialism. We don't have enough people in Metz, so I also deal with Department B: Sects and Churches. Jews, Catholics, Freemasons, even some Protestants." He shook his head. "I can see why it's dangerous when a religion radicalizes people, but ... it's hard to attack people who believe so strongly in God. It's easier to convince yourself a liberal needs to be brought in for questioning, rather than drag in a nun because she's suspected of hiding draft dodgers." His eyes drifted off to something he had seen in the past that still haunted him.
"Take a moment to rest. You deserve it."
"Thank you," he muttered. "So here I am, stationed in France, about to be in a war zone, my little brother is in more danger than I ever wanted him to be in, and now I'm chasing after dead ends and ending up drinking tea with a Heer lieutenant. The life of the Gestapo, oh so glamorous!"
Eren gave him a small lift of his glass in cheers, and the two took sips from their cups. "You seem like a nice man, Detective Grice. Are you hungry? I can order room service, maybe some of that pepper sausage I can't pronounce." He purposely said it peperwürstchen rather than Pfefferwürstchen.
"I appreciate it, but Magath will only get more suspicious if I take too long." Colt stared into the tea. "He's just paranoid of everything and sees us lower detectives as machines who don't need sleep. I will say, he has a ... reputation. I don't want to cross him. No one wants to cross him."
"Strict?"
The genuine fear that passed over Colt's face showed, it was much more than a strict boss. Magath was one who instilled fear more than respect. "You know how the Gestapo are allowed to do basically anything to prove someone has committed a crime? We take that seriously, but most of us are just looking for facts, proof upon which to build a case. We question, we intimidate," he admitted. "But Magath? Shit!" He looked sickened and scared at the same time. "If this was the days of knights and kings, he would be in the dungeon happily torturing the prisoners."
"Oh!" Eren said, shivering, thinking about how the Jews had been treated under Kitz Woermann. That was bad enough, but the Gestapo were above the law. How much worse could it be? "He sounds like..." Eren cut off. "Well, like a man I don't want to insult by saying what he sounds like."
Colt laughed and nodded in understanding. "Yeah, he has everyone scared, which is good against enemies of Germany, but we're already overwhelmed with paperwork. Now I have to hunt down some lieutenant just because he bought some things Jews like to eat." He grumbled, "Crazy. You likely won't be the last one today."
"Are you really going to question every person who buys apples on this day?"
"Magath is like that," Colt muttered, weary and annoyed. "It's not so much the apple, though. It's the combination. That's what raised the red flag." He tipped up his cup and gulped down the last of the tea. "Well, the tea is quite good. Sweeter than normal, but you northerners surely do things differently."
"I'm glad you approve."
Colt stood, and Eren got up with him. He could not wait to see this man out his door. Colt tugged down his uniform, but not even two steps he paused and looked up to the ceiling. "There is one last thing. I apologize, but can I also check your attic?"
"What?" Eren asked, slightly horrified but managing to hide it.
"Well, I noticed the hatch," he said, pointing right above his head. "This is the top floor, right? Kriminaldirektor Magath will know that and will ask me if I checked the attic. He's thorough, and I don't want to have to come all the way back."
"Oh, right," Eren muttered. "Sure, I don't mind, if you can get that hatch open."
"Have you been up there yet?"
Eren shrugged and silently shook his head.
Colt dragged the chair just under the hatch in the ceiling and shoved it up. He hummed when he realized it was not stuck, but opened easily. He pulled himself up, and Eren stayed below, his heart pounding. At any second, he expected Levi to leap out and slit the man's throat. Eren even began to wonder how they could hide the body.
"Come look! It's a huge attic."
Eren pulled himself up. Colt was strolling around, glancing at the crates and furniture covered in sheets. He slid his hand along one of the wooden crates.
"Surprisingly clean," he noted. "This hotel actually takes care of its place. Nice!"
Eren drifted over to where Levi used to have bedding set up. Luckily, he had slept down with him, so none of that was set up. Then he saw, much to his embarrassment, the stain on a white sheet that he had used when he jerked off in the attic just two nights ago. He kicked that aside to hide the gummy mess.
"Do you see anything?" Colt called out.
"Just boxes. Do we really have to check them all?"
Colt lifted the lid of one box only to shut it with a sigh. "That would take hours. I doubt you would be stupid enough to hide a Jew up here anyway."
"That really would be foolish," he muttered.
Colt walked back toward the hatch. "At least now I can tell Magath, I checked the room, I checked the attic, and yes sir, I checked under the bed." He rolled his eyes at the craziness of it all. "I will report that it was all just a coincidental combination, and you are even willing to help in the hunt for Mi-homme."
"Anything to help Germany. I'm sorry about all this. I honestly know nothing about Jewish holidays," Eren admitted, which was true. "Let alone this Rose Hashish, or whatever it's called."
"Rosh Hashanah. I don't know either, other than Kriminaldirektor Magath had the whole department out all night. We even caught some people."
"Jews?" Eren asked, a little worried.
"No. What were they called? Bibelforscher? Harmless things, but they hide draft dodgers and refuse to support Hitler, so..." He shrugged, showing there was not much he could do.
"Well, I have nothing to hide. Do you need anything else?"
"I hope not," Colt said, looking weary again.
They climbed back down, and Eren shut the hatch.
"I'm sorry that you had to come all this way for nothing."
"No, I'd rather it be nothing. Less paperwork. Every time we find a Jew ... booking them, deporting them, it's a filing nightmare."
"Right," Eren said, biting back his disgust. "You know, at the village my company was in just before coming here, we found a large group of Jews, over a dozen."
"Wow! That's a good find. What did you do?"
"We couldn't do much, we didn't even have a translator, and Berlin couldn't send us help. So my captain said, bullets are cheaper."
"Yeah. It is rather sad, though. I mean..." Colt hesitated and softly, thoughtfully, confessed, "It's easy to pity them."
Eren's eyebrows rose in surprise. A Gestapo who pitied Jews?
"Like you pity a sick dog," he went on. "You know it's better to put it out of its misery, but their cries and whimpers as they know what's coming ... you pity them."
Eren gulped. Like dogs? Really? So much for thinking Colt would be sympathetic!
"I need to interrogate that storekeeper about where he got British tea. Enjoy your apples, lieutenant."
"Have a good afternoon, Kriminalassistent Grice."
Colt left out the door, and Eren watched him march down the hallway to the staircase. Suddenly, Jean rushed right into his face.
"What the hell was that about?" he hissed.
"I apparently bought some contraband British tea."
"You did what?"
"I had no idea. He's off to question the shopkeeper now."
Jean scoffed and shook his head. "Only you could go shopping, accidentally buy contraband, get questioned by the Gestapo, and still have an idiotic smile on your face." He dropped his voice more. "Did this have anything to do with that man?"
Eren held his face sternly. "It was about a purchase at a grocery store, nothing more."
Jean backed off, but he still glared. "Seriously, try to stay out of trouble." Then he marched back to his hotel room.
Eren went back inside and sighed heavily. All the terror in his veins finally sank out until he felt like he could have slid to the floor and curled up.
Instead, he walked to the window and glanced out to the hotel exit. He could just barely make it out from this angle. He waited until he saw Colt leave out the doors and climb onto a motorcycle, then watched as the Gestapo detective drove back down the street, hopefully to report that there was nothing suspicious about the lieutenant.
With another sinking sigh, Eren returned to the attic hatch, opened it, and pulled himself up. He walked to the window and glanced around. Last time, he knew Levi had left because of the raindrops splattered by the window. Now, the windowsill was dry. No one had opened this window.
Had Levi gotten out another way? Had he gotten out at all?
"Eren?"
He jumped at the whisper and almost screamed. Just then, one of the crates opened, and hidden under a blanket rose the tiny Jewish man.
"Scheiße!" Eren gasped, rubbing his chest at the scare. "What are you doing here? I thought you left."
"I couldn't get out in time," Levi grumbled. As he rose from his contorted, compact crouch, he almost let out a scream and slammed his hand over his mouth. He collapsed back into the box, struggling to breath and not shriek.
Eren bolted forward. "Are you okay?" he cried out.
"Shh!" If he could not scream, Levi was not about to let Eren speak too loudly. He held up a finger. He just needed a minute. Pain was something he was used to by now. He knew how to shove it down.
Eren privately lamented at seeing Levi hurting so much. He knew it had to be all the bruises on his back. Once Levi's breathing calmed down, Eren offered a hand, and Levi carefully rose to his feet. He stepped out of the crate, but he grabbed his back while biting his lips. Eren felt the hand holding his shaking as Levi fought the pain.
"Let's get you down."
Levi looked at the hatch and the warm, inviting light, the heat from the radiator, the beckoning of a soft bed, and the promise of hot meals. It was the very definition of too good to be true.
"Fuck," he seethed. The temptation was so strong, and yet he just saw how dangerous it was. "I shouldn't go down there."
"Le-..."
"No! I shouldn't!"
"It's okay..."
"What if he comes back?" Levi cried out.
Just then, Eren saw in Levi's eyes something new: vulnerability. He barely thought it was possible. This man was so strong, so brave, a survivor and a warrior. Yet with the fear of the Gestapo coming so close to finding him, Eren saw those narrow eyes shaking in terror.
No. Not Levi Ackerman!
Eren grabbed Levi into his arms, shielding him, wanting to squeeze out that dread and find the fearless man he had fallen in love with. Levi frantically squirmed to get away, but Eren refused to let go.
The tremors deep in Levi's heart came to the surface now. The thought that the Gestapo might arrest Eren had lashed his soul with regrets. Then he realized there was no way to escape the attic without getting caught. It was broad daylight. He could not climb down into some other officer's bedroom. He was trapped! Despite his back throbbing in protest, he had managed to curl down inside a crate. Just minutes later, he heard the hatch open, those boots stepping right past him, the scratch as Colt's hand stroked along the top of the crate, and Levi thought for sure, this was it. This was how he would be captured and killed. Worse, he would be taking Eren to the gallows with him.
For a few seconds, Levi completely gave up hope. Then the boots moved past. He heard Eren and the Gestapo talking. Boots clomped by his crate again, and then the two men left.
Levi had wondered, was he already dead and just had not realized it? No way could he have hidden so shoddily and it actually worked.
Now, he felt numb. The fear had been so strong, it was hard to feel anything else.
Only Eren's arms. They brought him back out of that dark abyss.
Levi allowed himself to rest his head and stare out, glaring at that enticing hatch opening. "I'm trapped," he murmured. "Putain! I never should have come back." He closed his eyes. He knew yesterday when he walked to this hotel, it was a bad idea. Now it was suicide to remain.
Eren whispered, "I'm sorry."
"It was my choice. Don't be sorry."
"I'll help you to get out," Eren whispered, clutching Levi to him. "Maybe I can provide a distraction."
"Don't be an idiot. You'll do no such thing."
Levi pulled away from those arms and stubbornly straightened his shoulders. He picked up his flat cap that had fallen off in the crate and hoisted out his bag that he had wrapped around, shielding his Tanakh like a precious treasure. Leaving right now was impossible, so he figured he might as well spend a little more time with Eren.
He thought about the items the lieutenant had bought, the cause of this whole problem. The apples and honey were things Eren had said he wanted to buy. Levi realized, he should have warned him against buying them, and surely not in the same store. That was his fault.
The tea, though...
"Did you really buy that tea just for me?"
"I knew you would like it."
Levi shook his head. What a romantic fool!
"The tea actually caused the biggest problem. It's Schmuggelware."
"Smuggle ... wait, do you mean contraband? You bought contraband tea?"
"It's British tea. I didn't realize that was a problem."
Levi had to laugh. Of all things! "I can't decide if you're unlucky or an idiot."
Eren smiled to see Levi laugh, even if it was at his expense.
"Takhshet," he sighed. Levi cupped the side of Eren's cheek and gazed at him in wonder. "What am I going to do with you?"
"What do you mean?"
He refused to smile, but still it shined through in his gray eyes. "You make me too happy."
Eren's face beamed joyfully. "No such thing!"
It was, when it made Levi do things he knew were foolish. Like this, returning, and deciding to stay right after a Gestapo visited. This was, by far, the stupidest decision of his life.
So why was there a smile on his lips?
"Fine. I'll go with you." Levi walked over to the hatch, pulled out the rope ladder hidden inside a nearby crate, and hooked it over. "I really need to finish taking a shit. It's not all out. I feel some of it poking against my arse."
Eren cringed in disgust. "That's rather descriptive."
They climbed down, and Levi threw the rope back up. He went into the bathroom, and Eren changed out of his uniform. When Levi came out, he sat at the table and saw the teapot already made.
"You made tea for your Gestapo guest? How did it turn out?"
"Honey is really bad with it."
"Well, yeah!" Levi poured himself some tea and tasted. "It's sat out for too long, and you made it really strong." He checked the tea tin and pulled out some leaves. "I'm impressed. This is good quality."
"Decent for contraband?" Eren asked cheekily.
Levi laughed and shook his head. "Pour out that crap. It's cold and shitty. I'll make you another pot, and you had better watch this time."
"Yes, captain," Eren said, chuckling as Levi naturally barked those orders out like a leader.
Eren took the kettle and teapot to the bathroom to dump the tea and refill the water. Levi watched him walk away, and his eyes drifted down.
Eren really did have a nice arse.
Levi scoffed to himself, "Bordel, qu'est-ce qui cloche chez moi?" What the fuck is wrong with me?
"Did you say something?" Eren asked over the running water.
"I'm complaining about that shit I took."
Eren came back and set up the stove, kettle, and followed Levi's instructions for the tea. This time, Levi talked him through it, while he cut the apples with his knife, slicing them into small pieces. He looked around, but there were no bowls. He hated the idea of dipping apples right into the jar, but they had no choice. By the time the tea was done, so were the apples. Then Eren stirred in sugar, but they had no cream.
"So, the apples and the honey," said Eren. "What is it all about?"
"Apples are sweet. It means you want a sweet year. If you have some sweetness now, the sweetness will last."
Eren smiled and slid his hand up Levi's thigh. "Sweetness now, huh?"
Levi jolted away at the touch to his sensitive legs, but he had to laugh. "Dammit, takhshet. You go from having me utterly scared for my life..." He cupped Eren's cheek. "...to wanting to say fuck it all."
Eren put his hand over Levi's and turned it around so he could kiss his knuckles. Then he leaned closer until their noses almost touched. "How about we say fuck it all to the rules and just enjoy our night. It's still Rosh Hashanah, right? It's not sunset."
Levi glanced at the window and the sky just starting to turn orange. "Right," he whispered.
He picked up a slice of apple, and Eren sat back in his chair as he saw a solemn expression sink onto Levi's face. Quietly, he recited a prayer.
"Baruch atah Adonai, Ehlohaynu melech Ha-Olam, Borai p'ree ha'aitz." Blessed are you Lord, our God, Ruler of the world, Creator of the fruit of the tree.
Levi dipped the apple into the honey, carefully ate it so it would not drip, crunched the juicy fruit, and swallowed.
"Y'hee ratzon mee-l'fanekha, Adonai Elohaynu v'elohey avoteynu sh'tichadeish aleinu shanah tovah um'tuqah." May it be your will, Adonai, our God and the God of our forefathers, that you renew for us a good and sweet year.
Eren watched, deeply touched by the solemn prayer, even though he understood none of it. Still, just having the honor of watching Levi celebrate was enough.
"Is that a prayer for the new year?"
"Yes, for a good and sweet year."
Eren's hand reached toward the apples, but hesitated back. "Am I allowed to have one?"
Levi was touched that Eren would respectfully ask first, just to make sure he was not invading on the tradition. "Yes, please share with me. One who shares gets many blessings back."
Eren took the apple, dipped it in the honey, and took a bite. His eyes widened. "Es ist süß! It's sweet." He crunched through the juicy apple and swallowed. "What was it you said last night? Shana Tova."
Levi was stunned he remembered. "Yes. Shana Tova."
Eren grinned and reached for another apple. Levi watched him, that carefree, boyish grin and eyes gleaming with optimism. Just minutes ago, they could have been arrested, even killed. Eren acted like none of that mattered. He was living in the moment, not for the past fears, not for the future uncertainties.
It was as admirable as it was foolish, but at that moment it was what Levi needed.
"You're not eating." Eren grabbed another slice, dipped it in the jar, and held it out to Levi. "Open up."
Levi leaned back. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Feeding you. Weit aufmachen!" Open wide.
"Stop! You're going to drip honey everywhere."
"Then you better eat it," Eren taunted. "Say ah."
"Stop fooling around."
The golden honey dripped onto the table. "Oops! Better eat it before it drips on you."
"Eren!"
"Ahh!" he teased, pushing the apple toward Levi's mouth.
Growling because he knew he was blushing, Levi opened his mouth and bit the apple, just to make sure it did not drip more. "Happy?" he asked with his mouth full.
Eren dipped the other half of the apple slice in honey and ate it. "Very happy," he declared.
"Idiot," Levi grumbled. He took another slice of apple before Eren decided to try that again.
"I wish I could feed you fruits every day."
"You dream of weird things."
"Oh, my dreams are far weirder," Eren chuckled naughtily.
Levi merely rolled his eyes. Eren dipped another slice and ate it, but the honey began to drip before it was fully in his mouth, leaving juice mixed with a golden drip running down his chin.
"So messy," Levi chided. He grabbed Eren's handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed Eren's lips.
Eren sat still, watching as Levi eyed his lips, and he saw a gulp get caught in Levi's throat.
He whispered like a scolding parent, "Your face is all sticky now."
Levi leaned in, eyes heated, and Eren watched in shock as his tongue licked over his chin. Then he tried to wipe the honey away.
"There," he whispered, moving up to meet Eren's eyes. "Is that better?"
"It's still sticky," Eren breathed, his heart racing.
"Is it?" Levi licked again, along Eren's chin, then up, slowly lapping around his lips. A shuddering sigh moaned out, and he saw Eren's cheeks become inflamed. "Messy brat," he whispered, leaning into Eren's lips.
They kissed and tasted the sweetness on each other's tongues. Suddenly, Eren surged forward and sat on Levi's lap so they could deepen the kiss. Levi reached around, holding him there, but...
Oh, that was a problem. He felt the tightness in his trousers, and he knew Eren must feel it too.
Eren ignored that for now. He wanted kisses, to taste apples on Levi's tongue. He leaned up, took another apple slice, and dipped it.
"Don't you..."
Before Levi could protest, the honey-drenched apple came up to him. Levi knew it was going to drip, so his tongue reached out, licking it before it had a chance. Glaring slightly, he obediently bit the apple.
Then, to his surprise, Eren let go of the other half and bit into it. Their mouths carefully moved up the apple, met, and their teeth snapped the crunchy fruit in half. As they chewed, their eyes burned into each other.
"You're so handsome," Eren sighed, looking lost and hazy as he indulged in simply gazing at Levi.
His eyes averted. Why the hell did that make him so happy? He was already past thirty! Why would this barely-bearded man say something like that?
"I'm glad you came back," Eren said, more serious now. "I know it's dangerous, and I'm sorry for earlier, but ... maybe it's bad of me, but I'm glad you're here." He wistfully stroked Levi's cheek. "I wasn't ready to let you go."
"You'll have to one day."
"But not yet," he said as anguish creased his brow.
Levi reached up and soothed away those worry lines. "Not yet," he promised.
"Stay the night," Eren pleaded.
As much as Levi knew this was foolishly dangerous, he could not bring himself to let Eren go. Not yet! "I'll stay."
Hearing those words, Eren surged forward, kissing him with passion. Levi found himself gripping Eren tightly, not ready to part ways.
They came so close to being found out, it made Eren that much more aware of how precious these moments were, and he wanted to indulge in them.
They kissed, over and over, gently, then aggressively, only to sink back to soft caresses and lingering kisses. It lasted on through the setting sun, the sky going from blue to orange to red to purple and sinking into black. The bedroom grew darker, but still they clung to one another, kissing, caressing, a slow indulgence, lost in each other and blind to everything else.
After almost an hour, Levi finally pulled back. "My legs are asleep."
"Oh!" Eren stood and backed off, collapsing back onto his chair. "Sorry."
"I'm not complaining, I just don't want my legs to be tingling and dead if I have to make a run for it."
"Was ... Was that okay?" Eren asked, hoping he had not overstepped any boundaries.
Levi reached forward and squeezed Eren's hand in reassurance. "Kissing you is always okay."
Eren's face beamed in a boyishly happy smile. "I'll order dinner. What would you like?"
"Anything that isn't pork."
Eren called on the phone, and Levi looked back to the honey. There were a few more apple slices, so he picked one up, dipped it into the honey, and ate it. It made him smile, being able to have this secretive celebration.
They finished off the apples, put the honey away, and food came on the rolling trolley. They had a nice meal and sipped wine. Eren rubbed arnica onto Levi's bruises again, being diligent—they had enough playtime earlier. Then Levi relaxed to a cup of wine, reading another chapter of his book, while Eren sat to the side polishing his boots until the black leather reflected his face. Finally, they washed up, brushed their teeth, changed into sleepwear, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed together. Eren gave Levi a kiss goodnight before curling onto his side facing the wardrobe.
Levi glanced up at the shadows on the ceiling, but his back still hurt. He rolled over and rested against Eren's back, savoring the warmth. However, the roughness of the plain white shirt bugged him. He pouted and pulled back. He rubbed along Eren's neck, which got a happy little hum from Eren, but his fingers could only go down to the collar. There, he was blocked, and rubbing over the cotton shirt just wasn't the same.
"Can I request something?"
Eren rolled around to face him. "Of course. Do you need anything?"
Levi looked confused but determined not to be afraid of his curiosity anymore. "Can we sleep without shirts on? I ... want to touch you." His face drew up in anguish as he rubbed up Eren's arm but came to a stop where the undershirt blocked the feel of his skin. "I want to know you're here."
Eren felt like his heart would burst. He sat up, yanked his shirt over his head, and tossed it to the floor. "You too."
Levi nodded and pulled his shirt off, letting it fall to the side of the bed. They stared at one another in the darkness lit only by a soft glow of city lights coming from the rainy window. Eren reached forward and touched Levi's chest. Levi hesitantly ran his hand up Eren's torso, gazing at those abs and firm muscles. Their eyes met.
No words were needed. They collided together, lips crashing. The sweet hunger from earlier gave way to a feast of desire. Their hands craved to touch everything, groping and clutching. Their tongues dueled, battled, each starved for the taste of the other.
Levi's fingers threaded through Eren's soft brown hair, while Eren's hands slipped around, grabbing Levi's ass to pull him in closer.
Levi almost told him not to. The last thing they needed was a repeat of the bathtub.
And yet he found himself wrapping a leg around Eren's hip, pulling himself up close, grinding against him until Eren groaned. His hands slid down, feeling around Eren's bare back, muscular shoulders, and then lower.
Did he dare touch down there?
No, he really did not feel comfortable with that.
Yet he was fine with the way Eren wanted to touch all over him.
Levi was suddenly rolled onto his back, and Eren hovered above him. He kissed all around Levi's neck, leaving cold wet spots. His teeth grazed Levi's collarbone, sending shivers down his whole body.
"Eren!"
"Just this much," he whispered, not stopping with his kisses as they pecked and tickled all across Levi's body.
Levi closed his eyes, allowing himself some selfish bliss.
Seriously, they should stop.
He didn't want to!
When Eren's mouth found a sensitive spot on his rib, Levi suddenly pulled away with a cry. He sneered, blushing that he had shouted like that. How humiliating!
Eren pulled up, curious what happened. That had not been a moan of pleasure. Then he realized Levi's hand was rubbing out a scar on his ribs. Eren's gaze softened, and he caressed the pale mark.
"What happened here?"
"Knife fight. I was probably fourteen. It doesn't hurt, but it's sensitive."
Eren saw another pale line on Levi's skin and kissed it. "And here?"
Levi gulped. "Some guy set his dog on me. I got bitten and scratched on my arm."
Eren picked up Levi's arm, saw faded marks that he realized were a bite, and kissed them tenderly. "What about here?" he asked, seeing another spot.
"Spear."
Eren looked up in surprise. "Ein Speer?"
"When I was in Africa," he explained. "That one almost got me a discharge from the army, but I insisted I wanted to stay. A spear isn't going to stop me."
"So brave! And this one?" He looked at a wound to Levi's waist. "It looks like a gunshot."
"Yeah. That one hurt. I'd rather be stabbed ten times than shot once."
Eren was about to touch it but stopped quickly. "Does it still hurt?"
"No. None of the scars hurt anymore. Some are just a little sensitive."
He leaned in and gave the scar a kiss. Then he kissed lower on Levi's belly, peppering kisses down, going further, to the edge of the long johns. His eyes gazed down to that treasure he craved, but a hand touched his face, bringing it up.
"That's enough," Levi whispered.
Eren backed off, honoring Levi's limits. He crawled to his side of the bed and pulled the covers up over them. Rather than face the other way, he wrapped his arms around Levi and snuggled in close. A soft hum of contentment warmed the back of Levi's neck.
"Can I hold you like this?" whispered Eren.
Levi was glad Eren could not see his smitten face. "Do what you want," he huffed to hide just how much he liked this.
Levi stared out into the darkness. It might have been a good chance to scout around the city, see what the defenses were. Instead, sleep sank into him so fast, he felt like he should fight against it. His eyes closed, struggled up, and sank down. A hand began to pet his hair as his whole body loosened in trusting relaxation.
"Shana Tova," he heard in a wispy breath just as dreams swallowed him.
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Panzergrenadier – mechanized infantry who were transported by combat vehicles like tanks, half-tracks, and armored trucks. Panzer means tank, and grenadier were elite infantrymen.
"Panzergrenadiere met with American troops" – On September 18, 1944, U.S. reconnaissance units from General Patton's XX Corps encountered Wehrmacht Panzergrenadiers. For those who love in-depth battle movements (you don't need to know any of this for the story, but maybe it'll fascinate history enthusiasts) I recommend The Lorraine Campaign: U.S. Army in World War II: The European Theater of Operations by Hugh C. Cole. You can read the full chapter on this period of history for free on Hyperwar.
* https://www.ibiblio.org/hyperwar/USA/USA-E-Lorraine/USA-E-Lorraine-4.html
Paracetamol – For North American and Japanese readers, we call it acetaminophen, AKA Tylonal.
Apples and Honey – The custom of dipping apple slices in honey is believed to have started with Ashkenazi Jews during medieval times, but it is now a standard practice for all Jews. The apple represents the Shekhinah, the feminine aspect of God. (Originally, the Jewish god Yahweh had both male and female aspects; Christians changed God to fully male and removed all female aspects, which is probably the most misogynistic thing a person can do. I mean, that's GOD's feminine side you're messing with!) In Apples and Honey on the Jewish New Year, Ariela Pelaia explains, "During Rosh Hashanah, some Jews believe the Shekhinah is watching us and evaluating our behavior during the previous year. Eating honey with apples represents our hope that the Shekhinah will judge us kindly and look down on us with sweetness."
German Dialects – To this day, you can tell which region in Germany a person is from, and sometimes which town, based on their unique dialect. Some of my readers have told me that the differences between dialects can be so drastic that it can be hard for people from one region to understand people from another.
Colt is from Stuttgart and speaks with a Swabian dialect, while Eren is from Cuxhaven and grew up with a North Low Saxon dialect, or Nordniedersächsisch, although since he's an officer, he tries to speak Hochdeutsch, High German, the standard dialect of Germany. Colt's joke "Swabians: we can do anything except speak High German" came from a famous (and controversial) slogan from the Baden-Württemberg Chamber of Commerce campaign meant to boost Swabian pride for their dialect and industrial achievements, "Wir können alles. Außer Hochdeutsch."
For the record, Jean was born in Saarbrücken, Armin and Thomas are both from Berlin, Connie is from Münster, Franz is from Sudetenland in Czechoslovakia, Floch is from Frankfurt, Moblit is from Bayreuth, Ian Dietrich is from Potsdam, Gunther Schultz is from Munich, and Kitz Woermann is from Leipzig. Only a few of these places of birth actually made it into the story, but they're in my character profile notes.
(a purple triangle armband used in concentration camps to mark the Bible Students, AKA Jehovah's Witnesses)
Bibelforscher – "Bible Students" was the original name of the Christian sect known today as Jehovah's Witnesses. They are strictly apolitical and maintain a non-violence stance, refusing to salute a flag or political leader, sing national anthems, join a political party, vote in government elections, display a national flag, attend politically-sponsored or patriotic activities (like Boy Scouts or Hitler Youth), serve in the military or on juries, join the police or any other organization that uses violence, or work in a field that directly supports the government or military in any way, from working in factories that make instruments of war to even rolling bandages for soldiers. For this, Hitler declared them to be "enemies of the state," and as soon as he took power in 1933, Hitler banned them. A special unit of the Gestapo was formed to infiltrate their Bible study meetings and arrest anyone who refused to renounced their faith and heil Hitler.
The Bible Students managed to outwit the Gestapo for years. One thing Jehovah's Witnesses are famous for today is their refusal to have blood transfusions, but that abstinence from all blood products was less known back then. (Blood transfusions were rarer, so that biblical law applied mostly to blood-based food.) They would hold a large potluck with blood sausage as the main course. Most Germans would have no problem eating the sausage, but a Jehovah's Witness would never dare take a single bite. If all of the blood sausages were still on the platter, they would pull out their Bibles and begin their meeting. If a single one was missing, the Witnesses knew they had a spy in their midst, and they would simply go back home.
Mass arrests began in 1936 after conscription began and the men refused to join the military. Of the 20,000 Bible Students in Germany when Hitler took power, around 10,000 were imprisoned and 3,000 were sent to concentration camps, where they were denoted by a purple triangle on their armband.
Because of their pacifist stance, the Bible Students refused to escape prison or cause harm to any of the guards. For this reason, Nazi camp officers considered them to be trustworthy and used them as domestic servants. While in the concentration camps, the Bible Students continued to meet, pray, and they even preached to prisoners, having memorized long passages of the Bible. In the Buchenwald concentration camp, they set up an underground printing press and secretly distributed religious tracts.
Not all Nazis respected their pacifism. 1,400 Bible Students were executed or died in concentration camps. One Bible Student, a nurse named Helene Gotthold, was charged with Wehrkraftzersetzung ("undermining the military force") because she gave shelter to men who refused to fight for the Nazis and was caught holding Bible Student meetings. She was executed via guillotine in 1944.
(Helene Gotthold)
* https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/nazi-persecution-of-jehovahs-witnesses
* https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/enemies-of-the-state
* https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/id-card/helene-gotthold
Personal Note: I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and one of the songs, Forward, You Witnesses!, was composed in the Sachsenhausen concentration camp by Erich Frost, a Jehovah's Witness imprisoned by the Nazis. The German title is "Fest und entschlossen." It was always one of my favorites, a rare minor key that felt so powerful, and the lower key worked well with my contralto voice. When I learned about the man who composed it, the lyrics became even more poignant.
I found a video of Erich Frost directing a male choir in Wiesbaden, Germany, during the 1960s, singing the German lyrics, which have twice as many stanzas as the English version. (I guess this was Erich Frost's original lyrics which were shortened over the decades, and the song is now sung at a faster tempo.)
I gave it a listen and HOLY MOLY this more blatant about being sent to a concentration camp, ripped from loved ones, enslaved in forced labor camps, but still defiant against the Nazi devils. Even more of an "up yours, Hitler" than the English version, especially as you realize many of the men singing in this recording survived the Holocaust.
Some translated excerpts include these lines, which paints a picture of people innocent of any crime beyond wanting to follow their God and King, while Nazis sneer down at them, believing they, as Übermenschen, were superior. While the people around them replaced God with the Führer, who titled himself a Prophet of God, these people stood firm in their faith, knowing that doing so could be a death sentence.
"Innocent in the cells, robbed of their freedom!
Scornfully, the enemies raise up their heads;
They would like to rule over us,
Yet we, we hear in every place
Only the commandments of our King [...]"
Or this part, how they were both threatened and urged by neighbors to simply conform to the whims of the Nazis and be safe, yet since such conformity would have meant agreeing to fight in a war, and Jehovah's Witnesses are strictly non-violent, they resisted, struggling to hold to their faith:
"Enemies' threats, friends' supplications
To desist from the struggle:
They can never shake our resolve."
These next few lines are heartbreaking; Erich Frost must have witnessed such things while in the Sachsenhausen concentration camp.
"Hunger and beatings and harsh slavery
Are the cruel reward for our constancy,
And many are they that must grow pale. [...]
The struggle is fierce, the battle wages wild.
The fetters too are binding, the chains are heavy,
But mighty is the arm that shields you!"
Finally, this part of the song shows how hope was sometimes the only thing these people had while dealing with starvation, beatings, and seeing death mounting up all around them. That idealism and integrity is really admirable ... far better than the millions who went ahead and raised their arm to Hitler.
But one day, the day will come which liberates
All those who are dedicated to the Highest Glory
From Satan's dreary fetters. [...]
Witnesses of Jehovah in enemy land
And far from the homeland, exiled from loved ones;
Lift up your gazes to Him,
Whose hand is already extended to you!
These German lyrics are very different from the ones I grew up singing, but honestly, I like them better. I'm not in that religion anymore, but I still admire their determination not to harm others, even if that means being imprisoned. If all the world's religions followed that level of non-violence, we wouldn't see wars in the Middle East, Hindus and Muslims would live in harmony, and right-wing Christian attacks against the LGBTQ community would be a thing of the past.