"What the fuck is wrong with you lot?"
All heads in the betting shop turn towards you as you walk in, a frown on your face. Your boy who was just a friend and nothing more just told you that it was best for the two of you not to be friends. He looked scared when he told you and you could see that this had the Shelby brothers written all over it.
"Wow," John chuckles, "Not even a good afternoon?"
"Good Afternoon," You sarcastically smile and add a wave for emphasis, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What has happened?" Tommy asks leaning on the door way to his office.
"John and Arthur, maybe you but I don't know if you cared, told my friend who was a boy but my friend" You point out, "That it was best that we aren't to talk no more."
"How do you know it was us love?" John gives you a cheeky grin, you give him a pointed look.
"Because the man looked like he was gonna fucking cry-"
"Men shouldn't cry" Arthur comments making you roll your eyes.
"Well I think he had a right to when he had the fucking Shelby brothers knocking on his door threating him" You fire back, Michael sits at the betting stall table with a amused smirk.
You had been friends with the Shelby lads since you were little, you and John were of similar age, him being only two years older than you. Tommy was more of your older brother and Arthur was your comfort when you needed cheering up. Ada was you best friend, more sister like, but since she was in London you never really got to see the Shelby sister but you always made sure to have a Friday phone call to gossip. Polly was your mother figure and she treated you like her own. Michael and you had a relatable relationship, where you had three moods. 1- You wanted to get drunk and swear at everyone. 2- You just needed a good fuck and 3- You would roll your eyes until they were stuck behind your skull.
And then John. You two were each others first everything. Kiss, fuck and love. But after the war things changed, you were a war nurse in London and when everyone came back home you were still in London for another 2 years after meaning you hadn't seen the Shelby family in over 6 years. The lads were worried when Polly told them you were doing you bit for them but all had a sense of pride for you. They just wanted you home as soon as possible. But instead you turned up at the Grassion one Friday night all dressed up and unannounced. John fell in love with you all over again.
"I told John and Arthur to tell the bloke to back up a little," Tommy says, "We needed you here at the shop."
"Then ask dipshit," You reply sitting down at the table next to Michael crossing your arm over you chest in a sulk, "He was a good fuck."
"I thought you were just friends" Michael comments, in the corner of his eyes he could see John's jaw clench. Jealousy.
You look at Michael and shrug, "Friends with benefits."
"I though women never wanted just, well, uh" Arthur trails off feeling a little awkward.
"Sex?" You ask, Arthur nods scratching the back of his neck. "Trust me I could easily become a whore but I have standards and I don't want that baker down town coming to me every night for a fuck."
"Jack the baker?" Michael asks a little shocked, that man was as sweet as there could be.
"Don't let the looks fool ya," You reply, guesting to Tommy, "Looks handsome but would probably kill you and if you were to fuck he would probably kick you out of bed once finished and he looks like a kinky fuck."
Tommy shakes his head but ain't help the smile on his face, "You cheeky bugger."
"Hold on," John pauses looking at you as you send him a smile that makes his heart beat a little faster, "You always look fucking gorgeous, how can you be any different in bed?"
"You should know how I am in bed Johnny-boy," You tease sending him a wink, "I don't know how I look when I am with someone, haven't watched myself get fucked."
"Like a goddess" John mutters with a smirk.
"You have no filter" Michael chuckles lighting a cigarette between his lips.
"No I shouldn't pretend to be someone I am not," You shrug, "Now I am going to get drunk, anyone coming?"
"Y/n, it is one in the afternoon on a Wednesday" Tommy points out.
"Hasn't stopped you lot before" You retort, getting up from you chair, "Plus you lot put me in a bad mood when my friend came knocking at my door this morning telling me we can't be friends so yeah... I am going to get drunk."
"We will finish this bit of work and come in about an hour" Tommy says with a small smile.
"Fine," You shrug tucking your hands into your coat pockets, "Can't say I will already be drunk by them but whatever, see you girls later."
You walk out with the usual swing of the hips, the lads can't help but chuckle at your antics. But then the worry sets in, you will be drinking alone without on of them. God knows they know you can handle yourself and the dagger strapped to your thigh proves that but they can't help but worry about you. Tommy looks at Michael and gives him a soft nod.
"I will go with her," Michael stands grabbing his coat, "See you all later."
John isn't jealous of Michael, he knows the two of you are too close for that but sometimes he thinks what if something had happened, that you and Michael had a past like you and him do. You were John's first love and his love for you never had died.
---
"Do you think I am too... you know, to 'Peaky Blinder' for some men," You were drunk, it took you an hour and half to get drunk but after a bottle and half of wine, you were drunk and in the rambling stage, "Like I am with you lot constantly, you are all like my brothers except John cause John is John, you know, he is too good looking and sexy for me to think of him as my brother. If I thought of him as my brother then the thoughts in my mind would be illegal."
Michael sits in the corner of the privet area in the Grassion with you, listening to you as you pour the rest of the second bottle of wine in your glass.
"But what if something is wrong with me, like I am too involved with the Peaky Blinders for anyone to love me," You continue to ramble, "I mean what if I just fall in love with Alfie Solomons, you know, he is good looking, I bet I could help him sin in more than one Jewish way. I don't mind the beard but its the way he swears you know... its just fucking sexy."
Michael runs a hand over his face before taking one last big mouthful of whiskey, "Y/n... Alfie isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with-"
"I bet he is a kinky fuck as well, John wasn't he was sweet and kind," Michael sighs leaning back into the chair more, "John is probably more rough now, not that I would be complaining, but I miss him."
That caught Michaels attention, the change of tone in your voice, "What do you mean y/n?"
You hesitate, "Fuck it, its not like I will remember in the morning anyway," You mutter taking a mouthful of wine before looking at Michael, "I love John, more than anything in the world but he wouldn't want me anymore because if he wanted me than we would be here drinking together or I would be bent over his desk..."
"For fuck sake" Michael grumbles not wanting to hear that.
"But he makes me happy, like before the war and the fucked up things we all do now, I mean I can't sleep without a nightmare unless I am with someone. That's what this male friend was about, try and sleep peacefully but it didn't work, just felt like I was cheating on John."
"Lets get you home" Michael softly says, you nod standing up.
Michael wraps your coat around your shoulder placing a kiss on your forehead to make you smile. He shrugs on his own coat taking your hand as you walk out the Grassion. You walk down the empty streets of Small Heath quietly. Michael watching your steps as the two of you continue to walk. You smile as Tommy and Arthur walk down the streets in their Peaky attire towards you.
"Tommy" You smile letting go of Michaels hand to give Tommy a hug.
"Y/n, you alright?" Tommy asks, his voice soft as he looks at you carful of his hat.
"I had a few to drink and now I am going home apparently" You frown as Arthur chuckles.
"We will see tomorrow darling," Tommy says, taking of his cap for a second to press a kiss on your head.
"Arthur is going to take you to the door, I will be there in a second," Michael says as Arthur wraps an arm around your shoulder.
Michael waits until you are further away before talking to Tommy.
"She worries me," Michael admits making Tommy frown, "She talked about nightmares and how she would fall in love with Alfie."
"I will talk to her later but she won't fucking remember talking to you about it" Tommy says looking over his shoulder as you laugh with Arthur.
"Okay, I will drop her off and make sure she is okay and then I will bring mum to the pub," Michael says as Tommy nods.
"John is already at y/n's," Tommy reveals, "He wanted to get something from hers."
"Alright, see you in a bit."
-
Michael sits you down on your sofa as John sits in the kitchen, he already made you a cup of tea and got you some water ready for you to drink. Polly was sat with him as she was leaving the betting shop she spotted Michael helping you in your house and came to see how you were doing.
"Who is Polly talking too?" You ask as you see Polly talking to someone that you can't see, "Hey Poll," You call out making to woman pause and turn to you, "Who are you talking to?"
Polly smiles as Michael chuckles placing the glass of water next to you on the coffee table, "John darling."
"Holy shit," You smack Michael's arm, quickly running your fingers through your hair and shrugging off your coat, "Why didn't you tell me? How do I look?"
Michael laughs at your loud whispering, "You look beautiful y/n."
John walked into the lounge with a smile on his face, placing down the hot cup of tea next to the glass of water.
"I will go and get you some change of cloths" Polly says.
"The door gets a little stuck sometimes Poll, might need Michael or John to help you" You reply, "I would but I can't be asked to walk up the stairs."
"John is going to stay with you, are you going to be okay for a few minuets?" Polly asks you, you smile leaning your head on the back of the sofa.
"Yeah as long as he doesn't take off his shirt because I wouldn't remember it in the morning and that would be a waste of a strip tease" You reply closing your eyes.
Polly and Michael chuckle walking upstairs to look for something for your to change into. John laughed coming to sit down next to you, "Don't worry sweetheart the shirt will stay on."
You smile as you turn to lean into him, John wraps his arm around your shoulders as you place your head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Do you ever think about us John?" You ask, voice muffled into his shoulder.
"All the time," John quietly admits, "Ever since we were 14 and had our first kiss, been on my fucking mind ever since."
You hum in acknowledgement, "I think about you too."
John smiles placing a kiss on your head, he runs his fingers through the ends of your curled hair.
"Alright y/n," Polly walks in holding a old jumper that was funnily enough Johns and your night dress, "Thanks for your help boys, I got it from now."
"No Poll," You groan hugging into John more, "John smells nice, he is comfortable and I want to hug him."
John smiles as Polly and Michael chuckle, "Okay sweetheart, but the boys have to turn around, waste of a strip tease right sweetheart?"
"I would strip for him any day" You mutter standing up as John stands up turning around to face the kitchen, a chuckle escaping his lips.
"He is still here honey" Polly chuckles as she helps you out of your dress and pulling the nightdress over your head along with the jumper then pulling your hair from the back of it.
"Polly do you think me and John will ever get back together?" You whisper but everyone could hear you, Michael and John share a look.
"I think so darling" Polly smiles stroking the back of your head. "You boys can turn back around now."
John and Michael turn around as your head falls on Polly's shoulder in exhaustion, Polly's hand rubbing a soothing hand up and down your arm.
"I will look after y/n, you two can go down to the pub" John offers, placing a hand on your lower back. You move more into him, placing your head into the crook of his neck wrapping your arms around him.
Polly smiles, taking her coat and shrugging it on. Michael turns to the two of you, "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, see you tomorrow."
Michael and Polly leave quietly as John lowers the two of you on the sofa, laying down first before letting you cuddle into him. You hum letting your legs tangle with his as lay your head on his chest. John kissing your head before placing his head on yours.
"I won't remember this in the morning, and if you bring this up tomorrow I can blame it on being drunk," You murmur tiredly, "But I love you John."
John chuckles holding onto more tightly, "I love you too, we will talk in the morning."
"If you tell me in the morning that you love me, I will not apologise for my actions."
"You mean you would kill me or fuck me darling?" John asks looking down at you as you giggle.
"Well if you could read my mind, you would be having an orgasm" You say innocently, John laughs shaking his head as he smiles.
"Alright sweetheart, lets sleep shall we" John suggests running his fingertips up and down your back.
"I love you."
"I love you too y/n."
Hey everyone, I know its been a very very long time but I am half back. I promise to write more but my motivation is quite low at the moment. Things have been difficult for me at the moment. I have wrote an imagine based on what has happened just to try and explain things better instead of me just explaining it all now.
I have been writing an Marvel book and am currently on Avenger: age of Ultron, and I am gonna start posting chapter of that once written a few chapters of Civil War done. And I have a Marvel x Peaky Blinders imagine, I promised a long time ago to finish along with about ten other imagines.
Anyway, hopefully I will be posting more and get my motivation back. Lots of love and I hope you are all okay,
Love the author xxx.