"'Cause you are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly,
Still fight and I don't know why"
Clarity – Zedd
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It didn't want to stop. They wouldn't let him take a break, catch his breath. No, it was day after day, the same torturous routine.
It's been two weeks, or ten days, Thomas didn't even know anymore. He lost track of time at the third day, having several other things to pay attention to. What he knew was that they didn't seem to want to stop any time soon. He feels constantly light headed now, his arms were adorned with quite a few bruises and a couple of band aids, his form was skinnier since he was being provided with only two meals a day. All the muscle he had won in the last year is now gone, instead there is pale skin.
Randall wouldn't let him see Newt before the beginning of the blood draining, and he didn't split a word about his condition, or if there was an improvement. Thomas felt blind, and helpless despite being drained to basically save the world. His mind always wondered about Newt, and his mind wanted to see him awake, talking to him, walking, and smiling.
Ava made her appearance some days and assured him Newt was alive, and others Thomas didn't hear anything about her. He wasn't in charge of him, so she didn't have anything to do in his laboratory, so he guessed she was just monitoring Newt. It was fine, he preferred that.
It was passed the two weeks mark when something finally happened.
He was finishing his dinner after a long day, he opted not to take a shower because he simply didn't have the strength. They delighted him with a tasteless egg salad he was literally forcing into his throat today. There was a soft knock before the door was slowly opened and Thomas couldn't help but frown when he spotted Dr. Paige's small form on the other side. She wheeled herself inside and closed the door behind, delicately as if she was trying not to make a sound. Thomas didn't have any other choice but made her some place in the room.
"Hello, Thomas" She spoke up with a completely neutral tone.
Thomas nodded and tried showing her a small smile that didn't completely reach his eyes and ended being totally awkward. Instead, he answered.
"Um, hi"
"I wanted to talk to you. It's been a while" She positioned in front of him, dressed in white as usual. "I thought you would be interested since it is about your friend."
Thomas immediately straightened himself on his spot in the bed, he leaned over and placed his elbows on his knees to hear well.
"What is it? Is he okay?"
"He is fine, better in fact. Randall didn't want to inform you but we've seen a progressive improvement a couple of days ago, his vitals are stronger, and he responded to stimuli so we ran tests and the brain activity is constant. The serum seemed to have destroyed all the virus, without damaging the brain itself as we feared"
Thomas let out a sight he didn't know he was holding. He felt one of those families receiving good news in a hospital waiting room, and he wondered if he had ever been in a hospital outside WCKD headquarters. The most important thing was that Newt was okay, and getting better every day. He felt alive again, but not completely until he could see him awake.
"C-can uh, can I..." He struggled to get the words out.
"Do you want to see him?" He nodded quickly, as a child about to receive a candy, "I can take you to him now, it has to be quick and we need to stay quiet, okay?" Ava offered, her face was threatening a smile, but she stayed professional.
"Thank you so much" Thomas didn't know why she was helping him, but he found himself following her to the medical wing at midnight, if there were any guards in the hallways, he guessed Dr. Paige already took care of that.
The way was endless, even though he had seen Newt that morning, he couldn't stop himself from being anxious. If Dr. Paige had offered him to go it was because there was something different, right? His mind was racing.
When they reached the laboratory, Thomas immediately spotted the change in Newt's room, because in fact, it was another room. He wasn't behind the huge glass anymore, and was provided with a more private space. There were still machines around him, but less than before and Thomas was glad. The color had finally returned to his cheeks. He did look healthier than ever.
"Can I sit next to him?" He asked sheepishly.
"Of course, Thomas"
He nodded and walked slowly and hesitantly towards the chair on the side of the bed. He wanted to stay here forever, and forget about all the stupid tests and blood samples. Just him and Newt, he didn't care he wasn't conscious.
He had to keep himself from grabbing Newt's hand, wrapping it between his own cold fingers. He wanted to somehow reach to Newt's unconscious form and tell him he was here, no matter what, that it was okay if he wanted to take a little time, that he was going to wait. Because he already spent eight months without him, and he wouldn't mind spending another year if that means they will find each other again. At the end, he grabbed Newt's small hand, warm to the touch, and it was amazing. He missed him a lot, more than a person is able to miss someone.
"You can talk to him if you want. Maybe he listens, and if he knows you're here, it will help him recover quickly" Thomas melted into Dr. Paige's words. There were tons of things he wanted to say to him. Tons of things he kept to himself even before he lost him the first time.
"Hey, man. Come on you gotta come back to us, okay? I miss you, Minho misses you, and the gladers miss you. Just take all the time you need, alright? I'm here" In another moment, he would feel ashamed of having Ava Paige behind him. He was never a person who opened up very easily. But now he was done being that person.
He let out a teary smile when he felt Newt's hand give him a barely noticeable squeeze to his own one. Newt knew he was here with him.
Thomas had to say goodbye, since Randall or a guard would notice his disappearance, but he longed to stay with Newt more. He stood up and stroked a couple of blonde locks of Newt's hair before Dr. Paige led him back to his room, through the dark but clean hallways again. For the first time in a while he felt good.
"Thank you Dr. Paige"
He looked at the doctor with a genuinely smile on his face, before closing the door of his room and going to bed.
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He woke up with the door opening roughly as usual. Thomas couldn't believe how the night passed so fast. One moment he was blessing the sweet sleep and the other one he was being jerked awake to go to hell.
The guards walked in and grabbed him by his shoulders rudely, without even letting him get rid of the sleepiness. He had to suppress a yawn and his legs wobbled a little bit under him, while he wondered why they were doing this. He didn't even have breakfast, he had to change his clothes, go to the bathroom.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact Dr. Paige and he broke a few rules the night before, but he didn't notice anyone watching them. Ava had told him she had a bit of help with the cameras so it couldn't have been an issue. He was really annoyed with their behavior as they basically rushed through the hallways towards he guessed was the medical wing. Randall must want to see him because if not they wouldn't be doing all these things.
When they reached their destination, the guards didn't doubt in rush him to the laboratory. Unable to process what was happening, Thomas let them guide him as they wanted, but the way was familiar. There were loud noises far away, yelling, they were muffled by the thick walls but still present. As they approached Thomas made his best effort to put them in place, recognize them, guess what they were saying. They were louder and louder as they walked, and when he finally figured it out, he froze. For a moment his limbs stopped working and then he was yelling at his own brain to react.
He struggled against the strong grips. He didn't care, he used all his strength and even more. The guards were fighting him but he was better. He had more willpower, he was willed to start running towards the loud screams. He fought until he finally got what he wanted and burst through the lobby.
He didn't care the looks he was receiving, he didn't care they were chasing him, he didn't care he was exhausted. For a moment, he focused in his goal.
Several doctors were inside when he reached the familiar room, including Dr. Paige staring from the corner, and that's when he froze again. He stood at the door, mouth open, staring at Randall and the rest of the staff trying to control a hysterical Newt in the bed. His skinny body was trashing uncontrollably, skin drenched in sweat, yelling incoherent words at the scientists around him trying to calm him down, which Thomas could only catch something between 'Let me go' or 'Leave me alone' and he was sure he also heard his own name scape his lips.
Randall raised his sight between all the chaos, and Thomas could see all but a friendly expression on his face.
"What the hell are you doing there!? Do something!"
Thomas snapped out of his trance and caught the exasperation in Randall's tone, and immediately rushed towards the blond boy's side. He didn't care if he pushed people on his way, but he could make it, and his first reaction was putting his arms around him as he could, trying to calm him in his embrace.
"Newt! Newt! Hey, calm down buddy!" He tried his best not to show his glassy eyes with unshed tears. He knew exactly what caused this reaction, he probably woke up and saw nothing but WCKD workers and freaked out completely. His heart clenched painfully at the idea.
Newt immediately caught the familiar voice between yells, it was like a click, as if something snapped inside his brain. First, he was all trashing and shoving everyone away, and then he was breathing heavily and shaking in fear.
"That's it, you're okay. You're safe" Thomas spoke up the most softly possible, trying not to trigger another bad episode. He used his own words to sooth himself too. Newt looked up, his movements were delayed, as if he was all groggy, and Thomas let out a shaky smile sighing when he saw his eyes focused.
"Tommy?"
Newt's whisper was cracking, broken, scared. It made Thomas's heart clenched one more time, but it brought a feeling of relief to his soul he couldn't exactly describe.
"Yeah, Newt. That's me, I'm here" He assured the blond, approaching his head to his chest, trying to protect him from everything, isolated him from the cruel reality, for a moment, it was just the two of them.
Theblond continued breathing heavily, and probably sobbing, but it was all muffledin his shirt. Until he finally seemed to lose his energy, and passed out limplybetween his arms. Thomas tightened his grip around him and tried to hide hisface in his golden scalp. For the first time, he let himself broke in front ofRandall, in front of WCKD, in front of Ava Paige. He began to cry loudlyhimself, tears wetting Newt's locks. His mind was a mix of emotions he didn'tquite understand. He wanted to scream, to kick, to throw up, he didn't know. Sofor now, he just stayed with Newt holding onto him, or him holding onto Newt,it didn't matter.