Radha lifted her night top up and looked at her stomach, she took her hand and made circle on it. She then pushed her stomach a little outward and bent a little, and then the caressed the curve that her little tummy had made. She pouted her mouth, to see how she would look in the next few months and giggled to herself. There was life growing in her and her joy knew no bounds. It was almost as if she had found another reason to survive.
She put on a kurta and pants that reached no where near her stomach, the thought of a saree being forced on her stomach scared her, she was unsure of what impact it would happen on the child.
She thought of a moment of what she would tell her family, she wouldn't leave then in darkness. She would confide in Abhimanyu first but be stern about it, tell him that she was carrying another man's child, he deserved to know this and then go on for a divorce. If he tried to harm her in any manner she would not leave him, he could say anything to her, but not to her child!
What would she tell papa? That she found happiness in leaving Abhimanyu, it would hurt her to see her papa hurt but she had to, for her child! She would do it! She would find a place to live, look for ways of making more money, but it didn't matter, she'd do the best for her child, put in all the effort in the world.
But would she tell Dev? Yes, she should, he was the father of the child, he deserved to know! But how would Dev put in any effort with Priyanka then, she'd go back to being his mistress. She would tell Dev but she would also tell Dev that she was choosing for the child to grow up without a father.Not like her having a father made any difference to her life, then how would it matter to the child. Maybe she'd allow dev a yearly visit or so, as long as he was devoted to his wife. Or maybe she wouldn't tell him at all.
What did she want, a girl or a boy? A girl would be nice, she would make the call a total badass, let her do whatever she wanted, be fearless, follow her dreams and kick people in their balls. A boy wouldn't be too bad either, but she'd ensure he was a feminist, she'd teach him to respect women and share domestic load and let him do what he wanted - wear make up if he wanted or a skirt. She'd let her child do whatever they wanted and be the best mom in the world.
Radha looked into the mirror and smiled to herself, she hadn't been this happy in years!
-
"How are you feeling my child, I am so sorry I didn't know our conversation could have such adverse health affects." Sameer said as Radha arrived on the table and took the chair adjacent to his.
"Oh no papa, it must be something that I ate" Radha lied, with a certain exuberance, as she couldn't stop smiling and get her hand off her stomach. Abhimanyu looked at her, she was acting extremely chirpy and happy this morning. What was up with her? he thought but continued having her food.
"Bhabhi, I brought your favourite Tiramisu, here try it on!" Aman said as he passed on the bowl to her. Radha thought for a second, Tiramisu usually had rum in it, she didn't if she could have it in pregnancy. She politely declined. Abhimanyu lifted his head to look at her, her love for Tiramisu wasn't a hidden one, she was absolutely crazy about Tiramisu but her declining it today was rather strange.
Radha instead took a healthy apple and began eating it quickly. No morning sickness today, hmm you are lucky today Radha she thought to herself while smiling.
"Radha are you free between 11 and 12?" Sunita asked as her. Radha immediately screamed no. And then realizing how loud she was, she nodded in negative politely. She had an appointment with the gynecologist today at the same time.
"Uhh, I have a meeting maa, I am so sorry! In fact I have it right now I must leave, alright everyone bye!" Radha said as she took the apple in her hand and walked out of the room, with happiness radiating from her face.
"What is wrong with her today, she was acting strange, did something happen Abhi?" Sunita asked as she buttered a toast.
"Uhh, no nothing that I know of mom, but you tell me, what was happening between 11 and 12?" Abhi asked out of concern, it must have been something serious that his mom had asked Radha for, but that woman, she had the audacity to say no to his mom! for some silly meeting in her hut business!
"Nothing, I wanted to go to the doctor for my knee pain, but I will go alone, don't worry!" his mom replied
"Of course not mom, I will take you" Abhi declared as he thought in his head how he would reprimand Radha in the evening for not doing the most basic for his mom.
-
Radha sat on the chair, after all her scans and tests, the wet jelly left a fuzzy imprint on her stomach. If it is a boy, I'll name him Arjun or Nikhil, I like Zoravar too, if it's a girl - Zoya. she thought, her chain of thoughts were interrupted by the nurse who called her name in.
"Hey Radha how are you doing?" The doctor said to her as Radha walked towards her and sat on the table.
"I am fine doctor" Radha said, trying to keep her bubbliness at bay. The doctor gave her a reassuring smile.
"So when did you take your pregnancy test?"
"Just last night and the two red lines showed up" Radha informed her diligently.
"Alright let's do a quick check up again" The doctor said, smiling to her and leading her to the bed. Radha lay down and the doctor, pressed a few part of her stomach and then asked her to get up.
Radha walked behind the doctor and sat onto the table.
"I hope everything is fine doctor? and the baby is healthy?" Radha asked hesitantly, keeping crosses on her fingers under the table.
"Everything is fine Radha, except the baby, because there is no baby. You got a false positive" The doctor announced and Radha felt like her heart stopped beating for a second, almost like a rollercoaster had fallen off it's rail. She was crushed and she tried holding her tears in.
"but I missed my period and I have been having morning sickness-can you check again" Radha cried out.
"Radha, these are your scans and test reports, if you don't believe me, the fatigue and delayed period could be because of the stress and hormonal imbalance. I've checked your uterus fully and there are no signs of any fetus or embryo and thankfully not of any abnormalities either." The doctor explained to her, displaying all her test results on the table. Radha sunk.
"Radha, it's okay, you can try again, don't be disheartened, you're just 24, you have a lot of time before you! People have kids in their 40s!" the doctor explained to her as she held a disappointed Radha's hand. Radha nodded, she picked her files up, thanked the doctor and walked out of the room with dejection.
Abhimanyu waiter near the orthopedic department with his mother's files in his hand, as he looked around to pass his time, he spotted Radha, coming out of the gynaecology department and was quite surprised.
-
Radha came back home and went straight to her bedroom, she curled up like a ball in a corner and began sobbing incessantly. This was her only chance to motherhood and she lost it. She was dejected, she had suddenly built so many hopes and aspirations around her child. She clutched her stomach, reminding herself that no life was growing in there.
She felt lost and with nobody to hold on to. With almost no control over herself, she pulled her phone and dialled Dev's number.
"Hello?" A hoarse voice came from there. She didn't reply, tears continued streaming down her face.
"Radha?" Dev asked
"I know it's you Radha, I memorized that breath when I was 18" Dev said as he leaned on to the wall outside his balcony. He sighed, an audible sigh to Radha.
"I am alright, Priyanka is good too, we are taking our relationship slow." Dev informed her.
"Radha you are worrying me just say something please" Dev repeated. Radha had her hand on her mouth, to not let out even a sniffle to him. Just hearing his voice made her calm down, made her realize that he had a life beyond her and she couldn't just call him whenever, made her realize that she had a reality to look forward to.
"It was good to hear you Dev, but do me a favor and block this number" Radha said and immediately hung up. She didn't know how many weak, vulnerable moments she would have to go through to unlearn the digits of dev's mobile number.
She flung her phone and mourned a non existent loss for a few more minutes.
-
Abhimanyu entered the room and took a seat on the majestic chair, from where he would usually pass on all his scrutiny, taunts and hurtful things to Radha. He waited there for Radha to come out of the washroom, like a lion would wait for his prey.
Unbeknownst to what was awaiting her outside, Radha came out the bathroom, wiping her wait hair, she jumped on seeing Abhimanyu and then ignored him without asking him if it was necessary for him to jump scare her all the time, it was for him, he couldn't do without torturing her for a day!
She turned to doing her things, without even looking at him, she was really exhausted to indulge in any sort of argument with him.
"I am going to give you one chance to tell me everything Radha or else I am going to get out information from you in my own way" Abhimanyu announced to Radha who was facing the wall while folding her clothes. She was taken aback at what he was trying to imply, she tried to remember if she had thrown the pregnancy test, or if she had left a file around here or if someone had called her while she was in the bathroom and Abhimanyu lifted it.
"What do you mean?" She said turning to him, trying to understand what he knew.
"Okay, you lost the chance. Alright now it's my turn" Abhimanyu said as he walked towards her, holding his hands pressed behind his back. "What were you doing in the gynaecology ward in the hospital today" Abhimanyu asked, making Radha receive a jolt. How did he know?