"Alexa?"
Salazar, go away already, will you?
I ignored him, scribbling over the name 'Marabella Evergreene' in my notebook. I could feel his eyes watching me do it, interested to see the name of his girlfriend and yet confused by the meaning of it all. I let him remain utterly befuddled by it. I enjoyed the small portion of power it gave me over him.
Wow, I thought to myself pitifully, I really live off of breadcrumbs, don't I?
Abraxas gulped, playing with his pale hands nervously. Noticeably, my eye caught the family ring sitting on his finger. It was quite exquisite: made of gorgeous back tungsten metal, studded with incredibly flawless black diamonds, and, to top it all off, the Malfoy family crest sitting on the face of it. It was one of Father's favourites. He had to fight his brother, my Uncle Abraxas Malfoy I, incredibly hard for it.
When did Father give him that ring, exactly? I thought spitefully.
It was the only thing that I was entitled to. After their dispute, Father thought it would be hilarious to give it to me and not Abraxas. A show of spite. He made sure that no man with the name Abraxas Malfoy would ever get hold of it. I was quite excited about it really. Though I guess it made sense that Father didn't give it to me since, apparently, Abraxas has been striving to be nothing but the perfect son-- so much so that Father put aside his feud with Uncle Abraxas I.
I tore my eyes from the ring, biting the inside of my cheek as I tried to quell some of my burning jealousy and incredible disappointment.
"Will you be coming to the meeting today then?" Abraxas questioned cautiously. He walked around eggshells around me these days.
"Depends." I shut my notebook, desolate black ink oozing between the pages. "Will you force me to like last time?" He didn't respond; fidgeting with the ring. It made my blood boil. "Is that a yes?"
"No." He shook his head, his platinum blonde locks swishing around his head. "No, you don't have to... Of course not. I mean, if you have plans and all."
"So if I didn't have plans you would then?"
Abraxas nervously fumbled for words.
"Bloody brilliant."
"Will you stop it? Alexa, I just don't think..." He trailed off, blue eyes darting around as he lowered his husky voice to a whisper. "Forgive me, but I just don't think it's safe for you to be alone right now."
"What?" I chuckled to myself. "Afraid I'll throw myself off the tower again, brother?"
"Alexa!"
The other students in the library hushed us, sending hateful glares at Abraxas for interrupting their studying.
"I do have plans," I said before he could continue his thought, trying to avoid the lecture waiting on his tongue. "So, you know, you can get off suicide watch for tonight." I looked over at the devil. "Both of you."
Tom flipped a page of his black book; the cover of which was 'A Catalogue of Great Wizards'.
I snickered. Perhaps he was envisioning himself in its pages.
"Tell me, darling." Tom peered at me from behind his book. "Who do you have plans with?"
"Does it matter?" I responded, irritation bubbling inside every bone in my body.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because you might be lying."
I sighed loudly, groaning as I hit my head against the table. "If you really must know," I mumbled, "I'm meeting up with Mara and Luci. I'm not going to try to kill myself again, relax."
"You speak about it so casually," Tom said, his voice slightly hurtful.
Suddenly, a large crash of thunder shook the room, the lights flickering before returning to full power. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding as the other students in the room began to mumble to themselves about how frightening the thunder had been.
"Was that lightning?" Abraxas asked.
"Yeah?" I snorted. "Unless you know some other bolt of electricity that shoots out of the sky."
Without warning, Tom shot up from his seat, collecting his books hurriedly. "You said you were meeting up with your friends, yes?"
"They have names, Tom."
"Either way. That works out for the better. You can ditch them without worry."
"What?" I asked. "You're still going to make me go? I thought you said--"
"I'll be cancelling tonight's meeting Abraxas. Do be sure to tell the others."
"What? Why?" Abraxas shot up from his seat too. "We were going to discuss--"
"I've just remembered something deathly important for Alexa to do." Tom walked to the other side of the table, grabbing my arm and pulling me up without warning. "Come on then."
"What? Tom, wait!"
~~
I stared at Tom's hand wrapped around my wrist as he pulled me. I had given up struggling against him nearly ten minutes ago when we had first entered the forbidden forest. I had given up on trying to figure out what we were doing too. Maybe he was planning on killing me? Using me as some sort of sacrificial lamb?
I let out a groan when I felt a droplet of rainfall on my forearm before I glanced up.
The sky was pitifully grey today, signally the coming rain. The storm had been brewing up there for a while now. I blame it on the spring. It must be, what? Mid-May now? Time was passing quicker than I could control. My fifth year would be over in just a month.
Tom stopped abruptly, looking up at the sky like I had. "That started faster than I thought it would," he sighed, taking out his wand.
"Can we just go back? I'd rather not get drenched."
Tom didn't respond, pulling out his wand as he casted a wordless spell around us. I wasn't surprised to see that he had essentially casted an invisible magic umbrella above us before he grabbed my wrist again and began pulling me further into the forest.
Peering through the painfully grey sky was the dull sun. I felt rather numb as buckets of dreadful rain poured on top of the spell, thunder booming in the distance. I slowed my steps, suddenly coming to. I became fixated as I looked ahead; beautifully intricate lightning stormed in the vast sky, lighting up the grey. I let out a yelp as a flash of lightning struck right in front of us, scorching the ground below it. Tom barely reacted as he tugged my wrist, prompting me to move again.
The wind howled incredibly through the forest, bellowing and moaning as it wept past the many nooks and crannies of the wilderness. Several little magical creatures ran past us to seek shelter from the horrible storm. I wished greatly to join them.
Tom abruptly stopped and I came crashing into his back, knocking him over slightly. I purposefully didn't apologize.
"Why are we--"
I stopped.
Before me was an unbelievably gorgeous tree. Its large, sparkling, silver trunk swirled beautifully up towards the stormy sky. The core of it was running with rich looking navy, spreading and growing on the inside. Its crown was stuffed full of hanging, beautiful, soft-looking pearly white flowers that glowed despite the horrible storm. It lit up the ground in a dazzling silver glow, protecting a few variously coloured bunnies underneath its above-ground roots. The strong wind carried the tree's glittering golden pollen into the wild, creating a trail in the sky of flaxen virtue.
I watched as it burst into flames, struck by lightning.
The fire ate the tree alive, swallowing its white flowers and setting the entirety of the silver trunk ablaze. Frightened bunnies scurried out from underneath it, scampering off into the rain to be unprotected once more. The golden trail slowly died off, leaving a once more sullen grey day. It was terribly sad and yet... As I watched the tree, I found myself absolutely fixated by the movement of the flames as it engulfed it.
Tom stood by my side, dark blue eyes reflecting the blazing red fire. He was just fixated as I was-- if not more. "That's a white wisteria tree. It only blooms once a century." His face contorted into a deep frown as he watched it burn. He almost looked sad.
"Are you evil?"
Tom looked over at me, surprised. "Pardon?"
"Are you evil, Tom?" I kept my eyes on the blistering red fire. "I think I might be."
"What makes you say that?"
I took a step away from him, allowing myself to wander into the pouring rain. I glanced up at the sky once more, pellets of quick water splashing my face as thunder roared in the sky. I felt the water drip down my face as I closed my eyes.
"Alexa, you'll freeze--"
"I'm related to evil people."
My Father's face came into my mind first. It was so incredibly sour that it looked like he had just sucked on a lemon. I imagined his painfully cruel and icy blue eyes in incredible detail. I knew them quite well. They're the same as mine.
I thought about the things that he had done. I thought about his relationship with my mother, how he turned her into the shell of who she used to be. I thought about how he abused my brother and me, forcing his submission over painful years of bruises and welts, creating the beast that my brother had become to please him. My wrist ached as I thought about my own abuse, painfully neglected and forgotten by my own dirty yet pure blood.
"You consider Abraxas evil then?"
Abraxas' face appeared in my head. Though, strangely, it wasn't what he looked like currently. I pictured the Abraxas I used to know. He was still a child in my memory. We were incredibly identical: the same height, the same weight, and containing the same morals for Merlin's sake. I wished that I could go back to that time-- to talk to the boy untouched by my father's hands and manipulative whispers, to see if there was any chance of saving him after all.
"No," I said firmly. "Even after I discovered everything, I still can't think of him as evil. I still think he's different. That was reason number two, I'm afraid."
"Holding faith in your brother doesn't make you evil, Little Alexa."
"Dismissing his actions does."
He went silent before speaking again. "Am I reason number 3?"
"Yes," I said without hesitation. "I can't lie, Tom, I'm attracted to you. Truth is that I'm terrified of what that means." I laughed sadly, running my hands through my absolutely drenched hair. I bit my lip, a tear blending into the rain as I watched the smoke rise from the white wisteria tree. It stood out like a light in the dark in the rain, rising into the grey abyss. "I think you said it before. I'm like you Tom. I'm dark. 'It's because of how we were raised'. Isn't that what you said?" He didn't respond. "You weren't wrong. I think I've always known what kind of person you were and I... I just didn't care. I was raised to not care. It's sick."
"Alexa..." I couldn't hear what he said as another boom of thunder crashed throughout the forest. The ground shook beneath my feet as more woodland creatures began to scurry around the woods, desperate to find shelter.
"What?!" I yelled. "I couldn't hear you!"
"For Merlin's sake, woman!" He pulled me back underneath his spell, breathless and cheeks red. "You would make me say it twice just to be difficult. Listen, I'll only say this once more so listen closely."
He coughed, fighting his incredibly large pride as much as he could. "I'm sorry," he said firmly and rather loudly, though the blush on his cheeks would suggest he was embarrassed.
"Sorry for what?" I spoke loudly over the sound of the rain.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I'm the reason you think so poorly of yourself." He sighed as though that sentence was painful for him to say. "I... It wasn't my intention to--"
Another crackle of thunder resonated throughout the forest, disrupting my hearing of him as I watched his lips snap shut.
I spoke without thinking. "Why did you do it?"
He looked at me with a blank face. "Do what?"
"Sleep with me. Blackmail me." I shook my head in disapproval, feeling my wet clothes stick around my body. "I'm afraid the list goes on but I guess my real question is... Why? Why did you put yourself in my life?"
His jaw tightened considerably before it relaxed again. "You want the honest truth?"
I contemplated it in my head. There was a genuine possibility that what Tom wanted from me would be devastating or disturbing. "Yeah," I swallowed, "I do."
"Well," he trained his eyes back onto the burning wisteria tree. "I had originally wanted you to join my club because of your pretty pureblood last name. It's difficult, you know, controlling a group of purebloods while only being a half-blood yourself."
He had spat the word 'half-blood' as if it was the dirtiest, filthiest word in the English language. For a moment, I felt myself feeling incredibly sad for Tom Riddle. I couldn't imagine how conflicted he must feel-- he is the thing he longs to destroy so badly. Could that be why he's so incredibly twisted?
What a terribly lonely life.
"So," he continued, noticing my sad expression and desiring to dismiss it, "having people like your brother, Aventus Avery, and Rudolphus Lestrange as a part of my club is an incredible feat. It prompts others to join me. Having you join would have put the cherry on top, not to mention you're unbelievably gorgeous and I surround myself with dirty men all day."
I rolled my eyes.
"But then... Well, after you rejected me in the library I... Do you really want me to continue?"
"I really don't think you can do much more to scare me off, Tom Riddle."
He sighed greatly. "After you rejected me, having you join my club was nothing but an attempt to control you. Revenge, you could call it? I do hate losing."
"So you said back then."
The air grew cold between us, the horror of that day sitting between us and laying on both of our consciences.
"You got what you wanted, Tom," my voice was barely above a whisper as I spoke, "you control me. You've won. Isn't that enough for you?"
"That's the thing, Little Alexa, it's not." His eyebrows furrowed deeply on his handsome face. "I can't explain it but I... I don't want to leave your life even though I've already won."
"... Is that why you came up to stop me on the tower?" I could practically see the goosebumps rise on his arms. His blue eyes were as wide as saucers as he looked at me, his mouth open slightly as he looked for words. "Why did you try to stop me, Tom? Why do you continue to watch over me now?"
"I don't know."
"Surely, you must--"
"I don't," he interrupted almost breathlessly. "I don't understand it either, Alexa."
We stared at each other for a while, both equally confused by the intentions of the other.
Our eyes both shot to the tree, surprised to see the flame beginning to quell. My breath hitched in my throat as the black smoke began to clear, the tree revealing itself.
"How...?"
A transformed tree stood in its place. Its wood had turned to the deepest colour of ebony I have ever seen, endless as the night's sky, while a raging red-hot fire still burned on the inside of it. The fire peeked out from the cracks in the wood, swirling through the trunk of the tree as if it were blood pumping through veins. The crown of the tree no longer held blissfully white flowers but instead wonderfully black ones, sparkling as if the stars in the sky had been collected inside of them as they were coloured marvellously with purples, pinks, and blues on the interior.
It was the epitome of beauty and destruction, the remains of innocence.
"White Wisteria trees are special," Tom mumbled, "they're immortal."
I took a step towards it, pulled back by Tom in an attempt to keep me out of the rain. I turned towards him. "Will it ever turn back?"
"No. At least, not until winter." He shook his head.
"What a shame..." I trailed off, eyes enchanted.
"I don't think so. Even after being damaged to the point of disrepair, they still manage to thrive beautifully." He placed his hands on my shoulders, his eyes more sincere than they ever had been. "I... I thought you'd like to see it."
I stared at the transformed tree, eyes watery as I began to understand his message. I choked out a sob as I covered my mouth, relief flooding into my heart as the world lifted itself off my shoulders.
I'll never forget that day.
I'll never forget the burning of the white wisteria.